Dear Reader,
No matter what your thoughts or feelings about this topic may be, you will eventually have to learn about the difference between Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) and Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). These different ways of talking are not going away. You may be able to continue to pretend they are not important, but you are wrong. SVB is more important than you think and NVB is giving you more trouble than you know.
This writing is not causing the trouble you already have. I am upfront and get to the issue right away. The situation is confusing and clarity is only possible for those who know about the distinction between SVB and NVB. As long as you haven’t learned about this distinction, your knowledge about relationship and interaction is wrong. You are probably upset with my words, as I possess the certainty and directness which you lack.
I write to let you know that I can teach you to have the skill I have. Once you will know the difference between SVB and NVB, you have acquired that skill. Right now, you think you are engaging in SVB, while in fact you are engaging in NVB. Also, you think you engage in NVB, while you engage in SVB. Although SVB and NVB are everyday occurrences, you have no clue what is what. You must ask yourself: why is my version of what I believe to be SVB, NVB? And, why is my version of what I believe to be NVB, SVB?
Who you claim to be as a speaker isn’t true, since you don’t know who you are. However, if you know who you are, you can and will, like me, claim that what you say is true: You are NOT the NVB speaker, you are only the SVB speaker!!! Although you engaged in NVB many times, you were never the NVB speaker. Although you have believed to be the NVB speaker, you are relieved not to be the NVB speaker. Once you know about the SVB/NVB distinction, you realize that people only pretend to be NVB speakers as they don’t know they can be and are only SVB speakers.
Once you learn about the SVB/NVB distinction, you will feel validated in the belief which you have always had that the NVB speaker is not a speaker!!! Although the NVB speaker claims to be a speaker and makes him or herself heard everywhere, only SVB speakers know this belief is based on ignorance. The SVB speaker, who listens to him or herself while he or she speaks, listens to others in the exact same way as he or she listens to him or herself, but the NVB speaker, who doesn’t listen to him or herself, forces others to listen to him or her. The NVB speaker isn’t a speaker as he or she neither listens to him or herself nor does he or she ever really listen to anybody else.
The SVB/NVB distinction teaches us what it is like to be an authentic speaker. SVB speakers speak_with the listener, who is then invited to also be a SVB speaker, but NVB speakers speak_at the listener, who is then only capable of engaging in NVB with such a speaker. NVB speech must not to be considered as speech as NVB speakers dominate, intimidate, humiliate, drain, exploit, oppress, force, disrespect, alienate, separate, distract, overwhelm and dis-regulate the listener. As only SVB speakers take turns with the listener and share control of the conversation with the other SVB speakers, they always mutually reinforce each other.
Dear Reader,
No matter what your thoughts or feelings about this topic may be, you will eventually have to learn about the difference between Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) and Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). These different ways of talking are not going away. You may be able to continue to pretend they are not important, but you are wrong. SVB is more important than you think and NVB is giving you more trouble than you know.
This writing is not causing the trouble you already have. I am upfront and get to the issue right away. The situation is confusing and clarity is only possible for those who know about the distinction between SVB and NVB. As long as you haven’t learned about this distinction, your knowledge about relationship and interaction is wrong. You are probably upset with my words, as I possess the certainty and directness which you lack.
I write to let you know that I can teach you to have the skill I have. Once you will know the difference between SVB and NVB, you have acquired that skill. Right now, you think you are engaging in SVB, while in fact you are engaging in NVB. Also, you think you engage in NVB, while you engage in SVB. Although SVB and NVB are everyday occurrences, you have no clue what is what. You must ask yourself: why is my version of what I believe to be SVB, NVB? And, why is my version of what I believe to be NVB, SVB?
Who you claim to be as a speaker isn’t true, since you don’t know who you are. However, if you know who you are, you can and will, like me, claim that what you say is true: You are NOT the NVB speaker, you are only the SVB speaker!!! Although you engaged in NVB many times, you were never the NVB speaker. Although you have believed to be the NVB speaker, you are relieved not to be the NVB speaker. Once you know about the SVB/NVB distinction, you realize that people only pretend to be NVB speakers as they don’t know they can be and are only SVB speakers.
Once you learn about the SVB/NVB distinction, you will feel validated in the belief which you have always had that the NVB speaker is not a speaker!!! Although the NVB speaker claims to be a speaker and makes him or herself heard everywhere, only SVB speakers know this belief is based on ignorance. The SVB speaker, who listens to him or herself while he or she speaks, listens to others in the exact same way as he or she listens to him or herself, but the NVB speaker, who doesn’t listen to him or herself, forces others to listen to him or her. The NVB speaker isn’t a speaker as he or she neither listens to him or herself nor does he or she ever really listen to anybody else.
The SVB/NVB distinction teaches us what it is like to be an authentic speaker. SVB speakers speak_with the listener, who is then invited to also be a SVB speaker, but NVB speakers speak_at the listener, who is then only capable of engaging in NVB with such a speaker. NVB speech must not to be considered as speech as NVB speakers dominate, intimidate, humiliate, drain, exploit, oppress, force, disrespect, alienate, separate, distract, overwhelm and dis-regulate the listener. As only SVB speakers take turns with the listener and share control of the conversation with the other SVB speakers, they always mutually reinforce each other.
Dear Reader,
The Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB)/Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB)
distinction is system of thought which came about as the speaker began
to listen to him or herself while he or she spoke. At the time that the
speaker began to listen to him or herself while he or she spoke, he or
she was alone. Thus, there was no distraction from other speakers when
the speaker began to listen to the sound of his or her thoughts and
feelings. The words spoken by this speaker gave him or her the
opportunity to hear his or her sound.
Other speakers are asked to do the same thing. They are stimulated to be alone, talk out loud and listen to the sound of their own voice while they speak. It will not take long before the speaker is able to recognize that he or she vocally only has two responses: he or she produces a sound which he or she likes or he or she produces a sound which he or she dislikes. These two responses are single instances of a response class.
As the speaker explores the great difference in sound of his or her thoughts and feelings, he or she realizes his or her sounds are in fact responses to different, but common sources of influence in the environment. When speakers produce SVB, they respond happily as listeners to the sound of their own voice, which they experience as a reinforcing stimulus. However, each time when speakers produce NVB, they experience the sound of their own voice as an aversive stimulus.
In the study of behavior, the unit of analysis is the response class. These individually observed response classes are constituent parts of a whole phenomenon that serves as a basis for experimental study. Unless we acknowledge how we as speakers are affected by our own voice, something essential will be lacking in our analysis of how we as speakers affect the listener.
If we as speakers are aversively affected by the sound of our own voice, other listeners must be negatively affected as well. Other listeners will only be positively affected by the sound of the speaker’s voice if that speaker experiences the sound of his or her own voice as an appetitive stimulus. This reasoning is from the listener’s perspective, that is, it was made possible by the speaker who was listening to him or herself.
The speaker who listens to him or herself while he or she speaks spends time alone talking out loud so that he or she experiences how he or she is affected by his or her own sound. Such a speaker will only to take note of what the listener experiences if such a speaker takes turns with the listener, that is, if such a speaker can listen to the listener as a speaker. In NVB public speech there is no turn-taking between the speaker and listener. The same is true for NVB private speech.
In public speech there are distinct speakers and listeners, but in our private speech there is only our speaking and listening behavior. Since in NVB public speech the roles of speakers and listeners are fixed and are hierarchically separated, we experience this separation of the speaker and listener in our private speech as well. Naturally, there is no speaker inside of us and there is no listener. This means that in NVB public and private speech our speaking and listening behavior occur at different rates, but that only in SVB these two repertoires can be synchronized and joined.
We can only figure out this conundrum inductively as we as speakers will give ourselves permission to talk out loud with ourselves. What has been described as our inner dialogue of course relates to the different rates of our speaking and listening behavior of our private speech, which derived from our involvement in NVB. By talking out loud alone, we hear that we produce a different sound when our speaking and our listening behavior occur at the same rates (in SVB) or at different rates (in NVB) and we get clear this effect was always related to the sound of safety or of threat.
By talking out loud alone, we can finally discriminate the two response classes SVB and NVB. By bringing out our private speech into our public speech and by listening the sound of our voice, we realize that what appeared to be a speaker (or various speakers) inside of us was in fact of course only always our speaking or listening behavior which occurred at different rates.
It may initially appear as if we can now let the listener speak and as if the speaker can now let go and let the listener do some of the talking. It may seem as if the speaker finally listens and as if the listener at long last feels safe enough to begin to speak, but what we are really doing, when we are talking out loud, is that we synchronize our speaking and our listening behavior. Thus, we discover SVB is possible and that NVB can be stopped and we explore and become familiar with the environment in which this can and will occur.
Other speakers are asked to do the same thing. They are stimulated to be alone, talk out loud and listen to the sound of their own voice while they speak. It will not take long before the speaker is able to recognize that he or she vocally only has two responses: he or she produces a sound which he or she likes or he or she produces a sound which he or she dislikes. These two responses are single instances of a response class.
As the speaker explores the great difference in sound of his or her thoughts and feelings, he or she realizes his or her sounds are in fact responses to different, but common sources of influence in the environment. When speakers produce SVB, they respond happily as listeners to the sound of their own voice, which they experience as a reinforcing stimulus. However, each time when speakers produce NVB, they experience the sound of their own voice as an aversive stimulus.
In the study of behavior, the unit of analysis is the response class. These individually observed response classes are constituent parts of a whole phenomenon that serves as a basis for experimental study. Unless we acknowledge how we as speakers are affected by our own voice, something essential will be lacking in our analysis of how we as speakers affect the listener.
If we as speakers are aversively affected by the sound of our own voice, other listeners must be negatively affected as well. Other listeners will only be positively affected by the sound of the speaker’s voice if that speaker experiences the sound of his or her own voice as an appetitive stimulus. This reasoning is from the listener’s perspective, that is, it was made possible by the speaker who was listening to him or herself.
The speaker who listens to him or herself while he or she speaks spends time alone talking out loud so that he or she experiences how he or she is affected by his or her own sound. Such a speaker will only to take note of what the listener experiences if such a speaker takes turns with the listener, that is, if such a speaker can listen to the listener as a speaker. In NVB public speech there is no turn-taking between the speaker and listener. The same is true for NVB private speech.
In public speech there are distinct speakers and listeners, but in our private speech there is only our speaking and listening behavior. Since in NVB public speech the roles of speakers and listeners are fixed and are hierarchically separated, we experience this separation of the speaker and listener in our private speech as well. Naturally, there is no speaker inside of us and there is no listener. This means that in NVB public and private speech our speaking and listening behavior occur at different rates, but that only in SVB these two repertoires can be synchronized and joined.
We can only figure out this conundrum inductively as we as speakers will give ourselves permission to talk out loud with ourselves. What has been described as our inner dialogue of course relates to the different rates of our speaking and listening behavior of our private speech, which derived from our involvement in NVB. By talking out loud alone, we hear that we produce a different sound when our speaking and our listening behavior occur at the same rates (in SVB) or at different rates (in NVB) and we get clear this effect was always related to the sound of safety or of threat.
By talking out loud alone, we can finally discriminate the two response classes SVB and NVB. By bringing out our private speech into our public speech and by listening the sound of our voice, we realize that what appeared to be a speaker (or various speakers) inside of us was in fact of course only always our speaking or listening behavior which occurred at different rates.
It may initially appear as if we can now let the listener speak and as if the speaker can now let go and let the listener do some of the talking. It may seem as if the speaker finally listens and as if the listener at long last feels safe enough to begin to speak, but what we are really doing, when we are talking out loud, is that we synchronize our speaking and our listening behavior. Thus, we discover SVB is possible and that NVB can be stopped and we explore and become familiar with the environment in which this can and will occur.
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