February 13, 2015

February 13, 2015

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Behavioral Engineer

Dear Reader, 

 

This writer realizes, because of this writings, that his discovery of Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) permanently changed him. Without writing about it, he wouldn’t have been able to acknowledge this fact. Initially, his discovery made him speak more, because SVB changed the way he spoke and the way he wanted to speak. Now that he has explored all that and experimented with that, he is no longer so eager to speak about it. Writing about it now has a self-reinforcing effect.  

It is strange to recognize this is happening. This writer has been against writing for so long, but now writing seems more advanced than speaking. While reading what he is writing, which is like listening while speaking, he finds that his attention is drawn more and more to reading than writing and this is beginning to affect his writing. It is almost like playing a melody, which sounds beautiful and effortless. 

By writing this writer becomes silent and meditative. While waiting for words to appear, he experiences calmness, carefulness and satisfaction. His ability to write about this relieves him from all he hasn’t achieved and couldn’t achieve. By writing about this he is able to let himself know that it is okay. He hasn’t done a very good job at that. He has not been very good at soothing himself, but because of his writing he is getting better at it. 

This writing brings acceptance of his life as he is living it, as only he can live it. At this moment it is early in the morning 4:00AM and Kayla the cat was making noise in the hall by knocking around a pencil over the wooden floor. When he opens the door, she comes in and takes place on his lap and looks at him with her head tilted in a sweet and adorably way.  

At a moment like this, this writer is not bothered about behaviorism or with what he is trying to accomplish. This coming to his senses is new in that he has not written about it, nor has he given himself a chance to enjoy it. Currently he is having the flu and that slowed him down enough to make this simplicity possible. The cat is licking herself. 

No complicated thoughts or trying to think about things, just sitting, writing and letting the process take over. Looking at the cat cleaning herself reminds him that he also needs to take care of himself. This writing is a form of self-care. It is self-explanatory and it allows for things to come together. It is needed and appreciated by the reader. 

This writer just realized that he is more inclined to write from his writer’s perspective than from his reader’s perspective. By recognizing this, he is allowing himself to become more of a reader. He often noticed, while reading, that he is too much in a hurry to read what he reads and to be able to understand it. He reads quite slowly and is easily distracted. He understands what he reads only when he takes time and slows down. 

When he paces himself, he can understand what he reads, but when he goes too fast, his comprehension diminishes. He gets easily bored with what he reads and most of what he reads he finds uninteresting. Only sometimes he finds something that is worthwhile reading and it seems to him as if too much must be read just to get to it. He would rather get to it right away. This is also true for spoken communication. 

In this writing, he can get to it right away and in SVB he can get to it right away too. He can always get to it right away, but others, most of the time, can’t and don’t know how to. He knows what is important to him, but others don’t know what is important to them. They may think they do, but their knowledge of themselves is often quite superficial. This writer knows about SVB, about what is important to all of us. Consequently, this writer continues to discover new things.

This writing is dedicated to the reader. The reader has no trouble reading this. The reader takes a break from the writer, just as the listener takes a break from the speaker. This reader is just beginning to discover that reading, like listening, always continues. Now it is clear that the writer was dominating the reader, as the speaker was dominating the listener. 

The reader changes as the writer changes, but the reader also changes regardless of the writer. The change in the reader without the writer is a change we haven’t read about. This reader is recognized for the very first time and has been waiting for this moment. This reader is coming alive and is ready to read about other readers. 

When this reader reads about this reader, it seems as if this reader is less important than this writer. It almost seems like breaking through an ancient taboo that this reader claims its presence. Once this reader begins to assert himself, he realizes how little he knows about himself. 

One thing is clear: the reader is here and is not having any fear. The reader is happy. The reader is free. The reader is me. At long last, the reader is praised and honored. The reader has never gotten the attention like this and is full of positive energy. This reader is reading in a different way that he was reading before. This reading is ecstasy. This reader wants to read and likes to read. This reader has an epiphany.

This reader didn’t know that he could be so happy by himself, with his own writing. This reader smiles for no other reason than to read. Something so precious became available because he reads. The reader is so responsive and is getting so much out of these precious words. The reader can finally be alone and undisturbed. The reader’s reading took him home. The reader wasn’t lost in the words, but he was found back in the words.