May 25, 2015

May 25, 2015

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader, 

I woke up from a dream in which I was going to be incarcerated. It was told by some guard that I was going to be taken to jail. Although I was innocent and could have run away, I didn’t resist my arrest. I was put in a room with windows and could I see what was outside. I looked at the people inside and they didn’t seem threatening. They were friendly and nodded as if they were saying that they knew what I was going through. One person put black tar on me and then I was floating in water and the tar was polluting the water. The door out of glass was locked and I was alone, but I wasn’t afraid or sad. I knew what the tar was. Actually, I woke up while I was thinking about it.

Yesterday, I got two small black jars with ginseng paste from my wife’s sister. She arrived with my mother in law and they will go together with my wife on holiday for a week. We ate together and we sat in the yard. I tried to talk a little, but kept away, because my mother in law doesn’t talk with me. Although she brought a ton of food, she ignores me and is unable to say anything nice to me. There is nothing I can do about it. I drank some beer and only talked a little with my wife’s sister, who was friendly and sat together with me near the fire place in our back yard. I drank beer to honor my father in law, with whom, on occasions like this, I would have had a couple. The dream was about the feelings I experienced in my own house since the arrival of my wife’s mother.

I look forward to spending a week by myself. My wife, her mother and sister are having this family bond of which I am not part. I accept it. I still feel sleepy and want to try if I can sleep some more. I fell back asleep again and slept for a couple more hours. It is nice to wake up early in the morning and fall asleep again. I woke up a couple of times, but heard the singing of birds and fell asleep again. I dreamed some more, but I forgot what these dreams were about. It doesn’t matter. I am ready for them to leave and be by myself. As I walked into my bedroom, my mother in law walked in. 

I was putting on a t-shirt. She shrieked, because she was not expecting me. I said good morning, but she didn’t even say good morning back to me. She ignored me, but in this moment she was almost forced to acknowledge me. I went back to my office, where I folded up the blankets and the sheets. They are loading up the car and I don’t want to get into anyone’s way and I hope that they will be gone soon. I don’t even want to say good bye anymore. I hear them talk and they seem at ease with each other. My wife came to bring me coffee and told me that there are all sort of things for me to eat when they are gone. Food is very important in Chinese culture. 

I had some oat meal and when I said good morning to Marion, my wife’s sister, my mother in law suddenly said good morning to me. What a miracle! They are in good spirits and my wife was giving me instructions about the watering the plants, cleaning the litter box and feeding the cat. It is a cool Monday morning and today it is Memorial Day. My wife and her sister told me that they didn’t sleep very well because they drank the caffeinated tea their mother had made for them yesterday night. I am sitting in the office and keep myself out of the way and wait for them to leave. The chair I sit in belonged to Bonnie’s father and as the only man in the company of these three Chinese women I am aware that I am supposed to act a role of aloofness, strength and ability.

Kayla goes back and forth between the guests in our house and finds their company entertaining. Occasionally she comes back to me and then she walks off again to be with the crowd, particularly with my wife’s mother, who really likes to play with her and tease her a little bit. Marion brought me a sweet warm bun, with pork on it. I understand this bun was her husband, Brian’s favorite. As the time of departure comes closer, everybody is getting busy. 

The ant invasion in our kitchen was apparently caused by the little garbage bag in the sink that attracted them. I was instructed not to put such garbage back in the sink by my wife. I have never done that. It was always my wife who did that, but her mother told her to tell me not to do that anymore. Bonnie’s mother is continuously critiquing everything everyone does. It seems as if nothing Bonnie ever does is appreciated by her. When I showed her the garden, she snapped at me that it costs too much money and I left it with that. I am sure that they will talk about matters like that during their trip. As the time of their departure comes closer, I am feeling better and better.

When they are gone I will go to the bathroom and relief myself. Normally, I do that short right after I have woken up, but today, I wait. This waiting enhances a sense of control in me, which is quite pleasant. I don’t feel I have to go that badly and will feel comfortable once they are gone. While I am typing these words, I hear birds chirping. It is a glorious morning. I slept so good last night. Lying on the carpet in my office felt comfortable for my back, better than lying on my matras. It felt so good I might sleep on the floor like that again tonight. 


Bonnie is resetting the clock, which had to be stopped as it kept Marion out of her sleep. We are habituated to that sound. The clock is like the heartbeat of our house and I will have to pull up the weights to wind up the clock when they are gone. The clock is in the corner of the room, next to my grandmother’s sowing machine. It is our little house shrine. On the wall, we have a collection of ivory tooth brushes that come from old China. It looks colorful and pleasant. 

A pigeon is cooing nearby and they are walking back and forth to load up their vehicle. Kayla, the cat, gets excited by this activity and runs back and forth. A ripping sound of a motor cycle is heard and a dog starts barking. The metal screen door is closed with a bang and my wife and her sister are laughing. Her mother says something and she is also laughing. They are going to have a great time and are almost ready to go. An airplane flies over and the sound disappears in the distance leaving behind the singing birds and the cooing pigeon. I always loved this calming sound of pigeons and it reminds me of  Holland where this sound was often heard in the summer. It reminds me of good times and of going swimming. It is nice to have these memories. 


The singing of the birds has quieted down. The pigeon has stopped cooing, but while I am writing this, it starts cooing again. It feels as if I am talking with my environment while I am writing these words. The coolness of the morning is passing through our house and the windows, the door to the garden and the front door are open. There is not a whiff of wind outside. Pretty soon my own house will no longer feel like a prison to me. I am looking at the Hydrangea in front of my window. It has grown beautifully since I had cut it back and soon it will have beautiful big white flowers. Also our cherry tree is doing well. We love to see our plants grow and I will water Bonnie’s vegetable patch.