Comfort,

 

Human beings will do just about anything, to find some comfort. Even if it means, to believe in complete nonsense, their need for comfort continues to supersede their desire for knowledge or truth. This is why Disembodied Language (DL), is going on everywhere, because it creates the illusion of comfort. Real comfort, however, can only be found with Embodied Language (EL), in which we listen to ourselves while we speak.

 

One of the few things I can still remember from my many years of studying and working in the field of Psychology, is research with baby rhesus monkeys, done by Harlow. Please, go and look it up, if you want more information. He separated baby monkeys from their mothers, few hours after birth and gave them the choice between two surrogate mothers. One, a wire mother, a doll made of wire mesh, with a bottle attached that provided food. The other was a terry-cloth mother, a doll made of foam rubber, covered in soft terry cloth, that provided warmth and comfort, but no food. The result was that the monkeys spend more time with the terry-cloth mother than the wire mother, even when the wire mother provided food. They also sought comfort from the cloth mother when faced with new or scary situations. The significance of this study was that infant monkeys – mammals with nervous systems, similar to human beings – value maternal contact and comfort over physical nourishment. The cloth mother provided contact comfort and human beings, like these rhesus monkeys, also prefer a terry-cloth mother. The experiment showed mothers and peers are absolutely needed for proper social development.

 

Since I know about the difference between our DL and EL – in our DL, we don’t listen to ourselves while we speak, but in EL, we listen to ourselves while we speak –  I am sure, if EL is a big part of our upbringing, we acquire a relatively healthy, regulated, nervous system, but to the extent we grow up with DL, we acquire a dysregulated nervous system. As shown by Harlow, our biological need for comfort, which continues throughout our lives, makes us prefer fake comfort, the terry-cloth mother, over the mother, who doesn’t provide comfort, but who has food, which is needed to survive. In other words, our need for comfort, is more important than food. Consequently, we do more, to attain imaginary comfort, than to actually nourish ourselves.

 

With DL, we are endlessly chasing the dragon, as we are falling victim, to the imaginary comfort, provided by our so-called thinking, our mind, our inner language or what we, covertly, silently, supposedly, say to ourselves, inside of our head. If we really 'trust' ourselves, because we 'believe', we can listen to ourselves, without saying anything, we can, presumably, 'listen' to our inner self. Furthermore, if we have faith in some imaginary higher power or whatever we believe to be out there, we assume we can 'hear' the voice of some deity, spirit, force or whatever we fantasized, because of our DL.

 

With our DL, we unconsciously seek comfort, but we cannot find it, because our language takes us away from our experience. Only our EL can give us comfort, because in ongoing EL, our language keeps us in touch with our experience, since we finally use our language correctly. In other words, comfort derives from our proper use of language, as EL permanently dispels our ancient false belief in inner language. We don’t find any comfort in drinking, smoking, tattoos, porn, biting nails, comfort food, plastic surgery, drugs, sports, computer games, social media or any other compulsive behaviors. How can we understand our own emotions, if we don’t speak with ourselves, to listen to ourselves? We can’t. Unless we do what we really need to do, to have ongoing EL, we remain ignorant about the healthy way of expressing our true feelings. Simply stated, DL, our common way of talking, is a compulsive behavior. Once we have EL, we realize, we have always involuntarily engaged in DL.

 

Therapy is based on the ludicrous assumption of finding comfort in talking with a professional, who, supposedly, is really listening to you. However, unless you are going to speak with and listen to yourself, there is no comfort, only dependence and, yes, discomfort. In our usual way of talking, during our automatic DL, we unknowingly make it seem, as if listening to others, is always more important than listening to ourselves, but in EL, we discover listening to ourselves is only possible, when we speak with ourselves and produce a sound, which we want to listen to. We can always have EL alone, but we can only have it with others, who also do what we do, which is: listen to ourselves while speak!

 

There is great comfort in the notion, one will have with EL, one doesn’t need to engage in DL anymore. The switch from DL to EL is an enormous relief. Nothing else than talking with ourselves and listening to ourselves could have brought it about and this self-knowledge gives us the comfort, which continues with EL. The certainty of permanent comfort emerges from our ongoing EL, which is our Language Enlightenment (EL). Once we realize and enjoy our LE with our EL, we are done trying things, which haven’t worked, and couldn’t work. Our comfort with ourselves is truly sublime. With EL, staying within our comfort-zone is our new way of life.