Comfort,
Human beings
will do just about anything, to find some comfort. Even if it means, to believe
in complete nonsense, their need for comfort continues to supersede their desire for
knowledge or truth. This is why Disembodied Language (DL), is going on everywhere,
because it creates the illusion of comfort. Real comfort, however, can only be
found with Embodied Language (EL), in which we listen to ourselves while we
speak.
One of the
few things I can still remember from my many years of studying and working in
the field of Psychology, is research with baby rhesus monkeys, done by Harlow. Please,
go and look it up, if you want more information. He separated baby monkeys from
their mothers, few hours after birth and gave them the choice between two
surrogate mothers. One, a wire mother, a doll made of wire mesh, with a bottle
attached that provided food. The other was a terry-cloth mother, a doll made of
foam rubber, covered in soft terry cloth, that provided warmth and comfort,
but no food. The result was that the monkeys spend more time with the terry-cloth
mother than the wire mother, even when the wire mother provided food. They also
sought comfort from the cloth mother when faced with new or scary situations.
The significance of this study was that infant monkeys – mammals with nervous
systems, similar to human beings – value maternal contact and comfort
over physical nourishment. The cloth mother provided contact comfort and human
beings, like these rhesus monkeys, also prefer a terry-cloth mother. The experiment showed mothers and
peers are absolutely needed for proper social development.
Since I know
about the difference between our DL and EL – in our DL, we don’t listen
to ourselves while we speak, but in EL, we listen to ourselves while we speak –
I am sure, if EL is a big part of our
upbringing, we acquire a relatively healthy, regulated, nervous
system, but to the extent we grow up with DL, we acquire a dysregulated
nervous system. As shown by Harlow, our biological need for
comfort, which continues throughout our lives, makes us prefer fake
comfort, the terry-cloth mother, over the mother, who doesn’t provide comfort,
but who has food, which is needed to survive. In other words, our need for
comfort, is more important than food. Consequently, we do more, to attain
imaginary comfort, than to actually nourish ourselves.
With DL, we
are endlessly chasing the dragon, as we are falling victim, to the
imaginary comfort, provided by our so-called thinking, our mind, our inner
language or what we, covertly, silently, supposedly, say to ourselves, inside of
our head. If we really 'trust' ourselves, because we 'believe', we can listen to
ourselves, without saying anything, we can, presumably, 'listen' to our inner self.
Furthermore, if we have faith in some imaginary higher power or whatever we
believe to be out there, we assume we can 'hear' the voice of some deity, spirit, force or whatever we fantasized, because of our DL.
With our DL,
we unconsciously seek comfort, but we cannot find it, because our language
takes us away from our experience. Only our EL can give us comfort, because in
ongoing EL, our language keeps us in touch with our experience, since we finally
use our language correctly. In other words, comfort derives from our proper use
of language, as EL permanently dispels our ancient false belief in inner language.
We don’t find any comfort in drinking, smoking, tattoos, porn, biting nails, comfort
food, plastic surgery, drugs, sports, computer games, social media or any other
compulsive behaviors. How can we understand our own emotions, if we don’t speak
with ourselves, to listen to ourselves? We can’t. Unless we do what we really need
to do, to have ongoing EL, we remain ignorant about the healthy way of expressing
our true feelings. Simply stated, DL, our common way of talking, is a compulsive
behavior. Once we have EL, we realize, we have always involuntarily engaged in DL.
Therapy is
based on the ludicrous assumption of finding comfort in talking with a professional, who, supposedly, is really listening to you. However, unless you are
going to speak with and listen to yourself, there is no comfort, only
dependence and, yes, discomfort. In our usual way of talking, during our
automatic DL, we unknowingly make it seem, as if listening to others, is always
more important than listening to ourselves, but in EL, we discover listening to
ourselves is only possible, when we speak with ourselves and produce a sound,
which we want to listen to. We can always have EL alone, but we can only have it
with others, who also do what we do, which is: listen to ourselves while speak!
There is great comfort in the notion, one will have with EL, one doesn’t need
to engage in DL anymore. The switch from DL to EL is an enormous relief. Nothing
else than talking with ourselves and listening to ourselves could have brought
it about and this self-knowledge gives us the comfort, which continues with EL. The certainty of permanent comfort emerges from our ongoing EL, which is our Language
Enlightenment (EL). Once we realize and enjoy our LE with our EL, we are done
trying things, which haven’t worked, and couldn’t work. Our comfort with
ourselves is truly sublime. With EL, staying within our comfort-zone is our new way of life.