May 10, 2014

May 10, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

It is astounding so few intellectuals are willing to talk. The vast majority only wants to be right and makes sure beforehand that their point of view is going to be supported. Conversation which is based on such predetermined goals can’t go anywhere. However, this reflects the problem of all interaction. As long as it is predetermined, we will continue to remain stuck.

The question we must ask ourselves is: do we really want to have more of the same conversation? If we do, we can go on as usual, but if we are serious about changing how we talk and what we talk about, we must make attempts to stop ourselves from doing what we are always doing, even if such attempts are not immediately effective. 

Our ability to stop ourselves is limited, to say the least. We go on because we can get away with our way of dominating. We don’t realize that we are missing out big time on what is only possible if we learn to control ourselves. We don’t like the idea of having to learn and practice self-control and our ability to make others control themselves is our favorite way of dealing with our own inability. 

Those who only want others to control themselves are often incapable of controlling themselves, while those who are in control of themselves are not interesting in controlling others. They model to others their ability to control themselves. Nothing else is needed. It is not that others are told to control themselves that they will be able to control themselves. We are only able to control ourselves when someone is demonstrating to us what self-control looks and sounds like. 

Our lack of self-control derives from the lack of self-control of those who were teaching us. Sadly, for the most part, those who taught us self-control didn’t have it themselves. Furthermore, those who are attracted to teaching self-control to others are often attracted to it because they falsely believe that they will learn self-control by teaching it to others. This is wrong, because nobody who teaches self-control to others learns to control himself in this process. 

The person who wants to learn self-control has to be busy with him or herself. This is a challenge because who is controlling who? The first step in gaining self-control, is the need to acknowledge that there is no self to control. Once this has been done, one can understand why under certain circumstances there is no self-control and why under other circumstances is self-control. There is always more self-control in circumstances of bi-directional communication and there is always less self-control in circumstances of uni-directional communication. 

In Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) people co-regulate each other by the way in which they communicate, but in Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB), they dis-regulate each other. In the former, we talk with each other, in the latter, we talk at each other. In the former, we take turns, but in the latter we force others to behave in a particular way. When self-control replaces bi-directional communication, we will engage in NVB, but when co-regulation replaces uni-directional, hierarchical communication, we achieve SVB. This model is useful because it indicates the distinction between two categories of spoken communication. This distinction makes clear that we only communicate during SVB and not during NVB. In NVB we are too busy with controlling ourselves and each other, but during SVB we are neither trying to control ourselves nor each other.

May 9, 2014

May 9, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) is an extension of the work of B.F. Skinner, who considered private stimuli and their control over verbal behavior to be one of the distinguishing characteristics of radical behaviorism. Because it is so easy to have SVB and because this writer is currently teaching his classes for free at the local library, participants often don’t realize that they are dealing with a scientific process, which requires a scientific attitude. The word attitude is best illustrated by what we prefer to eat. The person who doesn’t like veggies is said to have an attitude against them, because he or she is no longer going to think about whether he or she is going to eat them or not. This person predictably responds negatively to green foods and nothing can supposedly change that.

If we look at attitudes from a behavioral perspective, we gain a different understanding of what it is: attitudes are our private stimuli that control our verbal and our nonverbal behavior. When a person thinks "this isn’t going anywhere, perhaps I should leave", he or she expresses, covertly to him or herself, thoughts or feelings that only he or she has access to. An attitude, therefore, is not something we have, but something we say we have. This difference is of great importance and will become clear as we delve deeper into how we acquire attitudes. We tend to think about our attitudes not as behaviors, but as something we possess, like a personality trait. Nevertheless, the way in which we think, feel or act is not based on something that we have, a stable aspect of our personality, but on something we do, or don’t do, or on something we did or didn’t do or something we were able or unable to do. Attitude is what made our behavior possible.

When we look at the components of how behaviors called attitudes come into existence, it becomes apparent that they are much more susceptible to change than we are inclined to believe. The idea that our attitudes consist of different parts hides the fact that a whole bunch of behaviors have been set into motion. There are no such things as attitudes and they cannot be broken down into parts. When one puts up one’s tent, there are sticks that form a frame and the tent has to be draped over the frame. These are things, but with attitudes there are only behaviors, which create the illusion that there are things. 

When we talk about behaviors as the building blocks of attitudes, it is easily overlooked that these behaviors are extended in time and that the controlling variables for these behaviors lie in our behavioral history. For instance, when we consider the affective component of our attitude, we refer to the circumstances under which we had certain experiences. In the case of our attitude towards classical music, we may find it beautiful and enjoyable, because we were together with people with whom we enjoyed this music. It is important to note that behavior is usually seen as a component of our attitude, but not as the entire basis for it. Only some lip-service is given to behaviorism by indicating that many different behaviors are involved in having a positive attitude towards classical music. For instance, we like to listen to it, we turn our radio station to classical music, we go to a classical concert or we play and practice classical music ourselves. Since we think it, this is also considered a component of our attitude towards classical music. However, this thinking is not a thing either, we don’t possess our thoughts, but we behave verbally. What are assumed to be the building blocks of attitudes: affect, behavior and cognitions, are in fact all three behaviors.

Going back to Skinner’s insistence on the importance of private stimuli in the control of verbal and nonverbal behavior, we should take note that in the shaping phase of behaviors that make up our attitudes, there was a need to be overt and explicit, but as these behaviors gained momentum, they receded to an covert level. 

Generally, it is not because we have such different attitudes that we don’t have meaningful discussions about attitudes, but because we are not used to bringing out our covert, private speech into our overt public speech. Beliefs and ideas are not things inside our head, but are merely behaviors which we have practiced a lot. 

With the idea of attitude as covert, private speech in mind, it is interesting to look into why attitudes are such poor predictors of individual behavior? What we say and do are often two different things because our behavior changes as our environment changes. Saying and doing are indeed two different sorts of behaviors and the question about the difference between these two is similar to asking why is fishing different from riding your bicycle? This question doesn’t make any sense, but with saying and doing we think that one is causing the other. In reality both are caused by something which eludes us.

Behavior is caused by the contingencies of reinforcement. These contingencies however, extent from our external environment to the environment within our own skin, to which we only as individuals have access. Attitudes are considered separate from behavior, because we are not talking publicly about the fact that behavior is a function of what we say to ourselves privately. We are for the most part incapable of talking about what we covertly say to ourselves, because we have been conditioned to keep private speech out of public speech. A child is only initially praised for its acquisition of language, but as soon as it grows up it says things to him or to herself covertly.            

May 8, 2014

May 8, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

It doesn’t happen very often these days, but today I don’t know what to write. Usually I come up with something, but this morning I am at a loss for words. It doesn’t matter this happens. It is a nice contrast with always knowing where I’m going. I had a good job interview yesterday in Red Bluff for the position of case manager. There were three people in the interview panel, one of whom already interviewed when I applied for the same position in Oroville. I didn’t get chosen then, but was told to apply for this position, since she believed I was the right candidate to work with her colleague.

There was a question about why I thought I would be able to work with at risk and high risk clients, who are coming from prison. I answered that I relate to them because people who don’t fit in have somehow always been attracted to me. Since I am able to let them know that they are accepted and will be accepted and can fit in if they learn the things they need to know, they are willing to work with me. Although people may initially be defensive, I am not bothered by that and I continue to reinforce qualities they have which are already good and functional. People feel that I connect with them and this determines our collaboration. I have leverage because they sense that I work for them and with them. They feel my support and my concern with behaviors which are wrong and cause them to fail and which need to be replaced.I don’t embarrass them, I accept them and because of that they trust me.

I mentioned some of my own childhood behaviors. I used to climb over fences and on top of buildings that were still being built. These were illegal activities which we tried for the thrill as kids. This story allowed me to illustrate that I know right from wrong and that I am aware of the process of learning that is involved. I compared the illegal activities of the criminals who will be my clients, with the behaviors of children who explore the boundaries of what is possible and explained that a lack of or bad parenting had let to behaviors which got them in trouble. Because I grew up in a family in which law-breaking was not part of our repertoire, I knew I wasn’t supposed to do what I did and so I stopped doing it after being chased away by guards. This gave me the opportunity to say something about growing up and being responsible.

Another question was about what might be the biggest challenge for prisoners to transition back into society? I answered that prison and civilian life are two very different environments, which each require their own set of behaviors. Skills-training is essential for successful transition and this involves treatment plans with measurable and realistic goals. This is a new phase of development in the life of criminals, which may come with anxieties and the resurfacing of old behaviors such as addiction. Also, it may be possible that the stress provoked by their new circumstances triggers unresolved trauma. These matters must be taken into consideration and individuals may need extra help to work through their issues. I think I assured the panel that I will notice their needs, refer clients or give them the help they need. My written reports will keep everyone involved informed.

 

I will let my clients know that their success is my success. As to my ability to have boundaries, I explained a situation with a manipulative client, who had to be hospitalized because he kept saying that he was feeling suicidal. I didn’t have endless conversation with him, but I acted promptly. I called the administrator to inform her that he wouldn’t contract for safety. However, during this conversation he contracted for safety, but when I hung up, he retracted his promise. I called again and then transported him to the crisis unit. In the car he tried to distract me with stories about his clothes and belongings, but I was done talking and didn’t give energy anymore to his attempts. 

Another skill I elaborated on was my lack of fear for the intimidating behaviors some people might have. These behaviors need to be addressed and changed and it makes no sense to dance around them. I have no problem confronting people with facts even if this makes them feel uncomfortable. I am able to make use of the discomfort as a motivator for something which needs to be and should be avoided and spoke about negative reinforcement. An example of of negative reinforcement is a speeding ticket. We avoid a ticket by driving within the speed limit.

I presented myself as someone who is in control, knowledgeable and likable. I showed that I am good communicator and that I am convinced of the power of groups to teach people the social skills which make them successful and productive members of society. I let them know of my willingness to learn and my ability to see my own limitation. I reiterated my ability and willingness to work and collaborate with others. I mentioned my dedication to creating and maintaining enhancing environments in which clients will learn and explore and have novel experiences. Lastly, I emphasized the point of treating clients as individuals and the fact that each person has their own needs. An individualized plan is needed to get people on their feet. It is my goal to teach people the skills they need. I view myself primarily as an educator, who teaches behaviors that are lacking or underdeveloped.  

May 7, 2014

May 7, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

I woke up from a dream in which my mother saw me standing on a big rock. She was terrified that I might fall, but I was confident that I wouldn’t and I was proud that I had climbed on top of it. Also, I dreamed about a former girlfriend. I still loved her and I wanted to show my love for her. Her face had changed dramatically and was grooved with deep lines of sorrow. Oddly, she had dyed her hair in a pink color. She tried to smile, but it was more an expression of sadness and it was clear that life had changed her completely.

My sleep was deep and I feel fully rested, but my dreams seemed to have squeezed something out of me that could only come out with a great effort. Often it is not the behavior itself which is the problem, but someone’s reaction to it. In the case of my mother, I have been preventing myself from standing on a rock, because I didn’t want her to be afraid. A lot of my emotional reactions in the past were reactions to my mother. In addition, many of my reactions to others have been reactions to their fears and their stress. 

As to my former girlfriend, she looked much older, but her pink hair was meant to make her look younger. I was happy to see her and wanted to share some memories of good old times, but she was too sad, too confused and also too afraid to meet me again. Many people have been afraid for me because I see through their façade. I often reacted to this with frustration and tried to make people not feel this way. The enabling role never held for very long and sooner or later it all come out. Whenever I spoke my truth all hell broke loose. I got rejected, accused, fired and ridiculed for saying what I thought.This sort of thing no longer happens to me because I now prevent it.

Before, I didn’t and couldn’t avoid it. Whenever I stated my case shit hit the fan. Although I have often blamed, I have never enjoyed seeing people in pain or being embarrassed or troubled. Just because I am able to see it and say it doesn’t make me the one who has caused it. Also, the fact that I want to talk about it and can talk about it doesn’t make me the one who is causing the problems which I want to address. I want to talk about it because I can.

Now that I know how to avoid getting blamed for something I didn’t do or am not responsible for, I am more than ever aware that people aren’t able to talk about things in the same way I do. They don’t have the same history. Similarly, no one can jump from adding and subtracting to calculus. To better deal with their problems people must accumulate the knowledge that is needed. People want to be without problems, but they lack the behaviors to make that possible. Their problems signify a lack of skills. These skills are lacking because they were never stimulated to live without problems. Even if such stimulation occurred, it was never enough and this is why they got attached to their problems.

We can’t get rid of problems as long as a part of us holds on to them. That part of us that wants to get rid of the problems is not in touch with the part that holds onto them. We are able to see this verbal process, called thinking, which occurs covertly and maintains our problems, when it is expressed overtly, in public speech. The confrontation involved is inevitable. However, it doesn’t mean we need to get in trouble for this. As long as we get in trouble for bringing out parts of ourselves which contradict each other, we will not be able to accept them. Our ability to accept different parts of ourselves is socially mediated; if others reject them, we will reject them too. Because this keeps happening, we continue our trouble. 

Only when we are stimulated to express what we think and when we are not blamed or shamed for our thoughts and feelings are we able to overcome our contradictions. In fact, there is nothing to overcome. We simply understand that under certain circumstances certain behaviors are more likely to occur, while under other circumstances other behaviors are more likely. This knowledge about how our behavior is mediated not by ourselves, but by our circumstances, brings us to the circumstances which prevent our contradictions from occurring.

Since others fear us for the expression of our contradictions, it is  much more effective if we would learn to express them to ourselves. All this takes is for us to talk out loud with ourselves. We can take note of what we say to ourselves covertly, privately, by expressing it to ourselves overtly, publicly. We don’t need others to hear what we say. However, if others were present, they could hear what we say, because we are saying it. By expressing out loud our silent, private self-talk, we include our private speech into our public speech. Because our private speech continued to be excluded from our public speech, we hung on to our private speech, which we then couldn’t get rid of.

I believe that negative private speech is the reason why many people go insane. Mentally ill people talk with themselves in a haphazard attempt to hear themselves and to come to terms with their negative self-talk, but this process is made impossible by therapists and psychologists who make their clients believe that they are troubled by maladaptive cognitions. The negative thoughts and feelings that clients have are responses to their environments, which are adversely affecting them. To make them believe that these are cognitive distortions is detrimental.