Sure,

 

I am not supposed to be so incredibly sure about myself, but the fact is, I am very sure Embodied Language (EL) is the only thing that makes me happy, while your dull, unintelligent, disgusting Disembodied Language (DL) means absolutely  nothing to me. I am sure my EL is the only way of dealing with language, which would make you happy too, but since you don’t want to talk with me, I write to scold you, because you miss out on what is the quintessential issue of your life. You listen to idiots, journalists, athletes, politicians, musicians, movie stars, but you never talk with me about EL. If you read my blog, you are going to get it, for sure.

 

It is often said, the only way to reach people, is to share your personal experience, because that is the only thing people can relate to. I don’t agree with this bullshit at all and I claim, that the only thing people can relate to, is something which scares the shit out of them. Although I am not trying to scare you, I know you are scared as hell already, even without me scaring you. I let you know how afraid you are, that you don’t dare to talk with me. Surely, I know my EL always reveals your phony DL. My EL shows how meaningless, violent, disconnected, coercive, creepy and depressing your usual way of talking is.

 

What you read here, is the most direct and honest account of your DL. You don’t say what you want to say and you can’t say what you want to say, as you don’t even know how to do that. Your ignorance about talking is astonishing. How can you say what you want to say, if you yourself don’t listen to what you say? You simply can’t. And, if you don’t listen to yourself, how is someone else supposed to listen to you? Reality is, you may make others listen to you, but I don’t listen to you, as I dislike how you sound.

 

Surely, if you would begin to pay attention to your sound, you would go to the edge, from where you take the jump. These are, of course, just words, but you have to cross your own boundaries, to be able to achieve EL. If you don’t do this and stay fearful of what you might say to yourself, nothing significant is achieved. Your boundaries are distractions, which protect your mediocrity and superstition. To have EL is to transcend your so-called small-mindedness.

 

I am sure, the glorified, overrated principle of free speech, which erroneously is still considered the foundation of a free society, keeps your DL going. Adherence to this principle implies, we are not concerned about the content of what someone says, as we are allowed to express all ideas, good ones as well as bad ones. It also means, that we have to put up with being offended, so that we can presumably agree to disagree and continue to differ on basic truths. I don’t put up with your DL, that is why I write like this. However, the First Amendment, which specifically protects expression of offensive speech, is based on the flawed reasoning, that inoffensive speech needs no protection. Although it is often said, the antidote for bad speech is more speech, we keep shutting each other up with DL, therefore, more speech, simply means more DL.

 

A society cannot be free, if individuals, who make up that society, commonly, unknowingly, stupidly, adhere to DL, the way of talking, which is essentially hate speech. Although educated human beings are able to recognize and adhere to various scientific laws, there is in 2023 still no universal definition of hate speech under international human rights law. We are endlessly bickering and arguing about what is supposedly offensive discourse, but we are never going to have EL together, as long as it is not our goal to stop our own DL, in the name of our own freedom of speech. Moreover, in the name of that so-called freedom of speech, we are stuck in what is best described as group-think, which is another basic characteristic of our dreadfully pervasive DL.

 

I am very sure that your EL needs protection, while your mechanical DL needs to be ridiculed and put in  its place. There can be no freedom without EL, as there is no individual honesty or accountability with DL, which makes you hate yourself. You can’t love yourself with DL, which constantly crushes your own ability to have EL. Your usual way of talking is hate speech, as it makes you unconscious about yourself. You may wonder, how can I be so sure? You know the answer already: I have EL, but you have DL.         

 

Lying,

 

The reason, you do not want to engage in Embodied Language (EL), but – seemingly – want to continue with your mechanical, boring, stupid Disembodied Language (DL), is because your EL would reveal all the terrible things you do and have always done: you have, with your DL, endlessly lied to yourself. It isn’t a pretty picture. You would engage in EL, once you would have stopped lying, but, as I have stated  many times, stopping DL requires, that you become aware about your whole sad conditioning history.

 

I am the living proof, that it is possible, to step out of DL, to have ongoing EL and to be conscious of who I am. I know why your still DL continues, even if  you would make serious attempts to stop it. Trying to stop your DL, keeps your DL going and once you have EL, you will know, you are not trying to have it, because you have it. Moreover, as you have EL, you realize, you were able to stop your DL without trying to stop it too. It stopped, since you were speaking with and listening to yourself and bringing your language back to yourself. In DL, your language is ineffective and problematic, as it always seems to be about others, but not about you. In DL, you only consider yourself in comparison to others, but in EL, you no longer put yourself above or below others.

 

When you consider yourself better than others, you put yourself higher than others and you are, as they say, holier-than-thou. If, however, you view others as superior to you, then you are the underdog, the victim, the oppressed or the loser. In EL, on the other hand, you will feel love, you will experience beauty, you will have clarity about your life, as you are totally natural and completely at ease. Thus, in EL, the comparison with others, never even arises.

 

In EL, you can be on your own, you appreciate being alone and undisturbed with yourself and this is why your Language Enlightenment (LE) is instantly clear to you. You don’t become this way, but you have always been this way and, in effect, you don’t stop your DL either, as you never were what you believed yourself to be. Therefore, there is no you, who was having DL, who stopped DL and who then went on to have EL. All this stuff is finished, the moment you engage in EL. You know it, when LE happens, as you realize your true self, which is neither dependent on the opinion of others, nor on your own opinion.

 

Please, stop reading for a moment and ask yourself: how is it possible, that someone, that anyone, can write anything like this? You could write it or say it. You can understand it and embody it. To turn away from your language, is a tragedy that has happened and that continues to happen, as long as you don’t take time, to listen to yourself and experience what you say. You have always abandoned yourself with your DL and your so-called identity – that you are someone special or that you are someone inferior, who doesn’t matter – was fabricated by your phony DL. Who you believed yourself to be, is based on your fear of death, as you will not be able to take anything with you, when you eventually return to where you were, before you were born. Of course, this notion of this returning is a metaphor, to signify the end of your language. Sure enough, you can talk  about eternity only as long as you are still alive.

 

Fantasies about heaven or hell, are the inevitable result of your inability to acknowledge, that you are the only one, who creates and lives in the reality of your own making. Your fear of death is, in fact, your fear of being alone, with your own language. It is evident from this realization, that what you call your consciousness, is actually your fear of others and not your fear of yourself. If you speak with yourself and hear your own reasoning with EL, you don’t hear any fear, because you are here. This business, which has been described as meditation, is always about trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, but in EL, you will be the master of your own language.

 

We keep lying, because we can deceive others, but we cannot deceive ourselves. We never consider ourselves to be the master over our breathing, our walking or our sleeping, as these behaviors come natural to us, but when it comes to our language, we make it seem, as if suddenly something different is going on. With EL, we come to know, that being verbal or literate – in retrospect – is as natural to us as our breathing, our walking or our sleeping. This demystification of our language is our LE, as we are only able to use our language, in the way that we were told or taught. Nobody taught us to have EL and that is why we don’t have it. However, EL isn’t something which is taught to us by others. I didn’t learn my it from someone else, as I discovered it myself. When we stop lying and engage in ongoing EL, we find, this is the only way to live: we have to do our own breathing and our own sleeping and we must stand on our own legs. To go our own way, we must speak for ourselves, with our own language.     

 

Mind,

 

Due to our Disembodied Language (DL) – which we have never talked about in a clear manner, that is, with Embodied Language (EL) – we are unknowingly, completely and inevitably, in the dark about who we really are. In what is known as the philosophy of mind, people attempt to identify the nature of the mind and its relationship with the body. Since we can’t help, but start our reasoning from DL – our usual way of talking – everything that follows, gets us more and more in trouble. We ask ourselves all sorts of, supposedly, deep, profound, philosophical or spiritual questions and come up with all sorts of answers, but the reality of every human beings is, that they are going around in circles, as long as the distinction between DL and EL hasn’t been made.

 

You will never hear me speak about the so-called mind-body problem, because I don’t have such an imaginary problem. Although it sounds unbelievable to those, who only know how to have DL, anyone with EL doesn’t have any problem. Moreover, for someone like me, who knows how to have ongoing EL, being without problems, is not a state of mind, as it simply describes my Language Enlightenment (LE). I don’t belong to any school of thought, since thought itself has absolutely no meaning for me. To me or to anyone, who is capable of having ongoing EL, it is joyfully, sensitively, but also, intellectually,  apparent, that our language – instead of a product of our language – is the source of our experiences, we call consciousness, thoughts, feelings or desires.    

 

If the nature of our language would be conceived as EL – rather than the DL, we mechanically engage in each day – we would be able to view our existing language, rather than, our non-existing mind, a true marvel. Interestingly, today, I write in English, but yesterday, I wrote in Dutch. At any given moment, I still have the urge to speak with myself in my native language, although I have lived in the United States since 1999 and have never been back to Holland, the country in which I grew up. With my English, I have literally distanced myself from everything I was  or believed to be, in Dutch. It has been so useful for me to be bilingual, as speaking and writing in two languages, has resulted in and greatly contributed to, my discovery and exploration of DL as well as EL.

 

There was a time, I still believed in having a mind, when my focus on language, began to emerge and sometimes just burst out, as it had not yet been fully articulated. It was a turbulent period of writing and reciting my poems, which, like the songs I sing today, were all about my love for language and my relationship. My wife Bonnie, is Chinese-American. She knows Dutch and has lived in the Netherlands for 13 years, but we have always mainly spoken in English with each other. At first, I had written some  poems in Dutch, but I wasn’t quite satisfied with them. When I tried to translate them in English, I instantly felt very pleased with the results. It was, as if, all of a sudden, my language made more sense.  

 

I was intrigued that I appreciated my English poems more than my Dutch poems and can still remember them, as they turned out to be the blue print of my life. What I used to consider as my inner voice, was actually my real voice, which I could speak and hear. Later, as I became capable of having ongoing EL, my LE was revealed to me. I have often heard people talk about the need to find your voice, but you don’t need to search. Just listen and hear yourself speak.

 

If you don’t say anything, there is nothing to hear. It is, of course, entirely different, to not say and not hear anything, after you have had DL or EL. Silence after DL is troublesome and uncomfortable. This is why people generally speaking – which is DL – can’t stand silence and try to do what they can, to escape from it, either with more DL or with other neurotic behavior. People believe, they are in their mind, but what they are saying is, they couldn’t say what they had actually wanted to say. Their so-called mind, is their defense against acknowledging, to themselves, they don’t even know what they had wanted to say.  

 

Everywhere we go, we engage in DL, because we are ill at ease.  Our stress, anxiety, fear, tension, worries and chaos never resolves with DL and so, it is always felt after the so-called talking is done. After we have had EL, by contrast, there is only wellbeing and this is making the silence – after we have spoken aloud with ourselves – very enjoyable. Moreover, once we are more familiar with EL, there is no need to speak, as we can move into our silence easily, instantly and effortlessly, even without saying a word. Silence is the result, the outcome, the consequence of having EL, but after we’ve had DL, we are restless, ruthless and reckless. You feel awful, whenever your DL has stopped, but it is relaxing, natural and spacious, to let go of everything, in the wordless experience of pure delight, after you’ve had a few moments of EL.

 

With EL it is like this: you can simply wait and there it is: you are full of bliss. As long as we still believe in having a mind, we continue to talk about what we,  supposedly, are thinking. When we say of someone, that he or she is out of his or her mind, this is not a good thing, because they are, presumably, losing their mind, while, obviously, in this case, being in your mind – presumably in the right state of mind – means being in control, which is the opposite of being crazy. Yet, those who believe to be on some spiritual path of supposedly becoming conscious of themselves, would probably say, that being in your mind and, presumably, having control, is a negative thing, as getting out of your mind or going beyond your mind, is their goal, because they experience being in their mind, as being imprisoned by words.

 

Someone with EL doesn’t believe in having thoughts anymore and, therefore, this whole issue of being in control of ourselves dissolves and being in or out of our mind is totally irrelevant. LE is unusual, because it isn’t anything like the enlightened gurus from East Asia for centuries have been talking about. Surely, LE and EL go hand in hand and you recognize your own enlightenment immediately, the moment you engage in EL. English language has made this clearer to me than my Dutch language, as it rationally and logically follows through on who I have always been.                            

 

Geschreven,

 

Ik heb dit geschreven, omdat het mij geen ene moer uitmaakt of jij mij gelooft of niet. Als jij, die dit leest, dit zogenaamd niet begrijpt en wil blijven doen alsof wat ik zeg niet belangrijk is, dan ben jij een dwaas, die daarvoor de prijs moet betalen, met je miezerige manier van leven. Ik leef heel anders, dan iedereen die het niet eens is met mij. De enige manier, voor jou, om echt iets aan de weet te komen, is door met jezelf te spreken en naar jezelf te luisteren. Je hebt hierover allerlei oordelen, die de complicaties van je moeilijke leven bepalen. Mijn leven wordt echter al vele jaren bepaald door het feit, dat ik precies weet wie ik ben en waarom ik dingen doe, zoals ik ze doe.

 

Het is heerlijk om je helemaal over te geven aan je eigen taal en om jezelf te kunnen horen zeggen, wat je ervaart en wat je dus niet aan anderen, maar aan jezelf te vertellen hebt. Wonderlijk eigenlijk, dat niemand geinteresseerd lijkt te zijn, in Belichaamde Taal (BT) en daarom, tot hun laatste adem, door blijft gaan met onzinnige Ontlichaamde Taal (OT). Het is natuurlijk niet waar, dat jou die interesse ontbreekt, maar telkens de kop in wordt gedrukt. Hopelijk heeft dit schrijven een andere uitwerking. Het is bedoeld, om, ook al is dit niet gebruikelijk, toch de hand eens in eigen boezem te steken en om eens toe te geven, dat OT, onze normale omgang met onze taal, enorm veel negatieve gevolgen heeft, die evenwel hadden kunnen worden voorkomen.  

 

Ik ben niet degene, die jou OT veroorzaakt, maar jij bent dat zelf. Ik kan het enkel benoemen. Daarmee is alles gezegd, want ik hou me er niet mee bezig en ik zit er niet mee. Integendeel, ik ga rustig met mijn BT verder, ook al heeft iedereen OT en daardoor dus geen enkele aandacht voor BT. Af en toe doet men alsof men genoeg heeft van OT, maar, iemand zoals ik, die het verschil kent tussen OT en BT, die weet maar al te goed, dat praten met OT over OT nergens op slaat en geen zoden aan de dijk zet. OT moet nou eenmaal ophouden, anders kan BT niet beginnen.   

 

Ik bepaal de werking van OT of BT niet. Het is niet van mij afhankelijk, dat water kookt bij 100 Celsius of bevriest bij nul. Water is een element, dat  wetmatig gedrag vertoont onder invloed van hoge of lage temperaturen. Net als mensen, gedraagd de materie zich op een bepaalde manier. Er is geen goed of slecht aan, want het is gewoon zo is. Wij zijn  stoffelijke wezens en onze lichamen reageren, globaal gezegd, op dezelfde wijze. Bijvoorbeeld, bij bedreiging, vindt er een andere autonome reaktie plaats, dan bij de ervaring van liefde of veiligheid.

 

Ik geef toe, ik vind het onvoorstelbaar, dat mensen  niet in de gaten hebben, dat ze constant in gevecht zijn, aan het verdedigen zijn, aan het vluchten zijn en aan het pretenderen zijn. Ze gaan maar door met hun OT, zonder ooit echt voortgaande BT te ervaren. Zelfs al zou het, op miraculueze wijze mogelijk zijn, om door te gaan met BT, dan nog zou iedereen van alles proberen te doen, om het te stoppen. Ja, gek genoeg, stopt iedereen iedere mogelijkheid om BT te hebben, maar nooit OT. Er is geen enkel bezwaar tegen iemand, die BT wil stoppen, maar er is grote weerstand tegen iemand, die OT een halt toeroept. Hij of zij krijgt van iedereen de wind van voren. Hoe haal je het in je hoofd, om onze gebruikelijk manier van spreken (OT) helemaal achterwege te laten?

 

Het is een taboo om onze algemeen geaccepteerde OT te benoemen en te stoppen. Toch, OT kan niet zomaar worden gestopt, zolang als het nog niet is erkend als het tegenovergestelde van BT. We blijven dus, ongemerkt, onbewust BT verwaarlozen, want het wordt nooit belangrijk genoeg gevonden, om ermee door te gaan. Ik ben gelukkig dat ik, ondanks mijn problemen, toch ben blijven doorgaan met BT. Hoe heb ik klaargespeeld, waar schijnbaar verder niemand in lijkt te slagen? Het is, simpel gezegd, omdat ik van mijzelf hou. Met andere woorden, iedereen faalt in het stoppen van OT, omdat ze, ook al doen ze nog zo gewichtig, geen aandacht hebben voor wat ze echt voelen. Ze voelen het misschien wel, maar ze laten het toch niet genoeg toe, om te erkennen, dat ze eigenlijk walgen van OT. Indien wij – als wij uiteindelijk de moed kunnen opbrengen, om dit eindelijk toe te geven – erkennen wat OT werkelijk is, dan vinden we het weerzinwekkend.

 

Sta hier maar eens even een tijdje bij stil, dat onze  geaccepteerde, alledaagse wijze van spreken, een ervaring is van totale afkeer, omdat het nooit tot iets goeds kon leiden? Het is ontzaggelijk. Het heeft niet alleen met het voorspellen van de toekomst te maken, maar het is eveneens een afrekening met het verleden, want OT heeft tot niets anders dan ellende geleid. In een klap, is het klink-klaar, dat OT, de manier van spreken, waarin de ander schijnbaar altijd belangrijker is dan wijzelf – ook al beweren wij bij hoog en bij laag, dat wij zo belangrijk, intelligent,  bewust, spiritueel of effectief zijn – de tragedie van de gehele mensheid bevat. Die realisatie is een enorme schok, die pas na vele beschrijvingen, ons kan laten weten, dat het echt voorgoed is afgelopen met onze OT, omdat het uitspreken en horen van BT onweerlegbaar op een bevrijding van taal wijst.

 

Het loslaten van taal in BT, is onze Taal Verlichting (TV). Al het gezeik over onze zogenaamde mind was dom gedoe, want er zijn alleen maar eenvoudige woorden, als deze, die gezegd, gehoord, geschreven of gelezen worden. In OT, liep de taal met ons weg, omdat wij dronken waren van woorden, maar in BT, zijn we sober. Onze TV symboliseert, dat we nooit meer dronken zullen zijn van onze taal. Wat ik hier schrijf en zeg is niet verzonnen, maar echt waar. Dit is iets om meerdere keren aan jezelf te laten horen, dat jij, met jou taal, helemaal tot jezelf kunt komen en aan jezelf toe kunt komen en kan ontdekken, dat alles wat jou daarvan heeft afgehouden altijd met je OT samenhangt. Als je naar jezelf luistert, dan laat je BT je horen, dat je er al bent en dat je TV al het geval is.   

 

 If I say

what someone else said

I said it

you may quote me on that

 

Laugh,

 

I can still laugh and am laughing more and more often, because I see very well it makes no sense to keep whining about all the misery. However, my exuberant laughter usually happens when I'm alone, since there's hardly anyone to laugh with me. You can only laugh with me – and at yourself – if you have Embodied Language (EL). The so-called laughter, to which everyone is accustomed, is like Disembodied Language (DL), a defense mechanism. Sigmund Freud spoke of desires that, because of social norms, must be suppressed, in order to avoid social rejection. For example, the whole false humor business is based on what he called Reaction Formation. It is still taboo to be yourself and so everyone, in DL, says in unison: it must remain funny and hilariously, everyone tries in vain to stay positive.

 

No one wonders why our usual, showy, serious, humorless behavior is, in reality, the complete opposite of what we really want. In DL, it's quite normal to keep pretending. Feelings of hatred, envy and anger are denied, only to talk very nicely and supposedly lovingly about Diversity, Inclusion and Equity, while everyone's laughter has dropped to zero.

 

Even the so-called humorists complain bitterly that it is apparently no longer allowed to simply laugh these days, about the undeniable fact that we try to deceive and cheat each other, day in and day out, about our real motivations and reasons, why we continue to behave so stupidly and violently. Of course, the behavior that is not allowed is tenderness and sensitivity. The only way to acknowledge this is with a different way of speaking. We have laughed the wrong way, as it was always about supposedly breaking the taboo - that we weren't allowed to laugh - but in EL we can, will and do laugh, a lot.

 

When a man or boy has the perception that he is or wants to be a woman or a girl and when a woman or girl feels herself to be a man or a boy, we are dealing with a classic case of Reaction Formation . It's actually quite laughable that our modern society still imposes such absurd norms and values ​​on us that we can no longer feel at home even in our own body. When we have EL, the fun really begins, because only then do we consciously realize that our usual way of speaking has really disembodied us. This is no joke and our laughter expresses our tension.

 

I laugh at other people's DL, because I can laugh at my own DL. Suddenly there is a lot to laugh about, if you can laugh at your own DL with your own EL, but it seems there is almost nothing to laugh about anymore when you try to pretend with DL, that you can laugh, in spite of all your problems and anxieties. I laugh daily at my own enlightenment, which was already the case many years ago, but which was constantly pushed into the background because of my own reactive way of speaking. Now that I have EL, instead of DL, I am no longer preoccupied with pretending that I always have EL, which of course is a lie. It's funny that virtue, lies, memory and enjoyment come together in one touch of EL. Even if you can't laugh about it just yet, rest assured that if I can do it, you can do it too. I'm not trying to be nice, but I will have fun for two or even for all of sad humanity still trapped in DL.

 

It is not true that humor, so to speak, arises out of all human drama. On the contrary, only when we feel really happy, can we laugh whole-heartedly at ourselves. That so-called laughing at another, at an anti-hero, a clumsy fool, a clown, has never resulted in us recognizing ourselves in it. We have always forgotten ourselves and locked ourselves up, with the so-called fun of others. I'm not participating in that. I have real humor. I'm not trying to be funny, I'm fun, because I like it. I used to make everyone laugh in class, but was always stopped by the teacher. When I became a teacher myself, I found out that students couldn’t laugh. I am having such fun being retired.

 

Lachen,

 

Ik kan nog steeds lachen en ga steeds vaker lachen, want ik zie heel goed in, dat het echt geen enkele zin heeft, om om alle ellende te blijven jammeren. Mijn uitbundig lachen gebeurd echter meestal, als ik alleen ben, aangezien er nagenoeg niemand is, om met mij mee te lachen. Je kan alleen met mij – en om jezelf – lachen, als je Belichaamde Taal (BT) hebt. Het zogenaamde lachen, waaraan iedereen gewend zijn, is net als Ontlichaamde Taal (OT), een afweer-mechanisme. Sigmund Freud had het over verlangens, die men vanwege de maatschappelijke normen, moet onderdrukken, om sociale afwijzing te voorkomen. Zo is die hele false humor business gebaseerd op wat hij benoemde als Reactievorming. Het is nog steeds taboe om jezelf te zijn en dus zegt iedereen, in OT, in koor: het moet wel leuk blijven.

 

Niemand vraagt zich af, waarom ons gebruikelijke, ten-toon-gespreidde, serieuze, humorloze gedrag, in werkelijkheid, het tegenovergestelde is van wat we eigenlijk echt willen. In OT is het heel normaal, om te blijven doen alsof. Gevoelens van haat, afgunst en kwaadheid worden volledig ontkent, om vervolgens heel aardig en zogenaamd liefdevol over Diversiteit, Inclusie en Rechtvaardigheid te praten, terwijl bij iedereen het lachen tot een nulpunt is gedaald.

 

Zelfs de zogenaamde humoristen klagen steen en been, dat het schijnbaar tegenwoordig niet meer is toegestaan, om simpelweg te lachen, over het onweerlegbare feit, dat wij elkaar, dag in dag uit, trachten te misleiden en te belazeren, over onze werkelijke motivaties en redenen, waarom we ons zo stompzinnig en heftig blijven gedragen. Het niet toegestane gedrag is tederheid en gevoeligheid. De enige manier omdat te erkennen, is met een andere wijze van spreken. We hebben verkeerd gelachen, want het ging altijd om het zogenaamd doorbreken van het taboe – dat we niet mochten lachen – maar in BT mogen, kunnen en gaan we pas echt lachen.  

 

Wanneer een man of jongen, de gewaarwoording heeft, dat hij een vrouw of een meisje is of wil zijn en wanneer een vrouw of meisje, wil doen alsof ze een man of een jongen is, dan hebben we te maken met een klassiek geval van Reaktievorming. Eigenlijk  heel lachwekkend, dat de moderne maatschappij ons nog steeds schijnbaar zulke absurde normen en waarden oplegd, dat we ons niet eens meer thuis kunnen voelen in ons eigen lichaam. Wanneer we BT hebben, begint de pret pas goed, want dan pas gaan wij bewust beseffen, dat onze gebruikelijke wijze van spreken ons echt heeft ontlichaamd.  

 

Ik lach om de OT van anderen, omdat ik om mijn eigen OT kan lachen. Er is ineens ontzettend veel te lachen, als je – met je eigen BT – om je eigen OT kan lachen, maar het lijkt wel alsof er bijna niets meer te lachen valt, wanneer je met OT probeert te doen alsof het leuk is dat je problemen en zorgen hebt. Ik lach dagelijks om mijn eigen verlichting, die al vele jaren geleden het geval was, maar die vanwege mijn eigen reaktieve wijze van spreken, voortdurend naar de achtergrond werd verdrongen. Nu ik BT, in plaats van OT heb, ben ik niet meer bezig om te doen alsof ik altijd BT heb, wat natuurlijk een leugen is. Het is grappig, dat deugen, leugen, geheugen en genieten met volle teugen samenkomen in een vleugje BT. Al kan jij er nog niet om lachen, wees gerust, dat als ik het kan, dan kan jij het ook. Ik probeer niet leuk te doen, maar heb plezier voor twee of zelfs voor de gehele droevige mensheid, die nog vast zit in OT.

 

Het is niet waar, dat humor zogezegd voort komt uit al het menselijke drama. Integendeel, alleen als wij ons echt gelukkig voelen, lachen we onbezonnen om onzelf. Dat zogenaamde lachen om een ander, om een antiheld, een onhandige dwaas, een clown, heeft nooit tot gevolg gehad, dat wij daarin onszelf herkennen. Wij zijn altijd onszelf vergeten en doen onszelf op slot, met die leuk-doenerij van anderen. Ik doe daar niet aan mee. Ik heb echte humor. Ik doe niet leuk, ik ben leuk, want ik vind het leuk. Ik was en ik ben nog steeds de leukste van de klas.