To
give in,
Of
course, you don't want to give in, talk to me and admit, there is a huge
difference between Embodied Language (EL) and Disembodied Language (DL),
because you feel embarrassed, as it would expose your DL. In fact, you are
ashamed, you have always been unconsciously busy with deplorable, stupid,
obsessive, reactionary DL. Annoyingly, EL is such an obvious thing and yet, you
have totally missed it.
When
you read these words, you involuntarily feel a sensation of discontent, insult
and humiliation, since somehow you know, it is exactly as I say it is. You are
caught by me, in the madness, which I call DL, but which you have continued to
regard as normal. You never got to EL because you don't want to admit, you are
ignorant of your own language. You feel cheated, even though you know very well,
I have nothing to do with the lies you
were saddled with, first by others and then by yourself. Yes, you would even accuse
me of holding you back from EL.
You
can't get over your hesitation to finally throw the door of your EL all the way
open, by talking to me. I know, it's a big step, because there's no going back
once you talk to me. Once you continue with EL, your DL will be over. You know,
I will continue with my EL, in spite of your reservations.
Everything
you give as a reason not to talk to me, not to call me, not to meet with me on
a skype call (my skype name is limbicease), is proof of the fact that you
choose to continue with DL. Ridiculous that – after all these years of living
and experiencing how problematic your usual handling of language is – you still
cannot admit that you have created the illusion, for yourself, that you already
have EL. You may have had a very small amount of EL, but you never went through
with it, because you simply didn't know how that would work.
Admitting
your ignorance is a mixture of misplaced pride, hurt and doggedness. Is it
really true, that truly being yourself isn’t possible for you? Talking to me
doesn’t make you my follower, and yet you keep having such a feeling, until you
have applied yourself to your language and reclaimed it. You may say something
vaguely like, you want to do your own thing or that you want to go your own way
– and, therefore, you absolutely don’t want to do my thing or go my way - but what
is your thing or your way, if you can’t speak or write about it with EL?
However
you look at it, you have no idea what fits with you - what is, therefore, truly
yours - because you never stopped your automatic participation in DL. Your
absurd belief in going your own way, is a fixed idea because you want to be someone
special. It doesn't make you different from others, that you know there's only
one like you, but it would make a big difference, if your handling of language reflected
that. If you take responsibility to move forward with your EL, you must know,
acknowledge and accept that everyone has, unknowingly, been stuck in DL. If you
have ongoing EL, then you are always new in your language, but this isn’t the case yet.
Even if you say you want to be new, that doesn't make you new.
When
will you finally admit, there is a big difference between wanting something and
doing what you have to do, to achieve what you want? You have wanted so many
things, but you have always forgotten, because of your language. Like everyone
else, you keep pretending, that it will eventually happen, but in reality, you
keep putting it off and so much time has already passed with all kinds of lies.
There
is also a sense, while reading my words, you have stopped – yourself – from
continuing with EL as you have continued with DL. It is unpleasant to admit
this to others, for it is an obvious sign that, as far as you are concerned,
you have completely missed the mark. So, you want to pretend to others that you
know what it is, but to yourself, you nevertheless know that this is not true.
Admitting to yourself, this is so, is not enough to have EL with me, because in
order to have EL with me – or with anyone else – you will have to be able to
admit to others, what you have admitted to yourself. Time after time, you have
been denying yourself, you have given yourself away and thus you have harmed
yourself while you were overtaken again by DL. You have always described this self-abuse
incorrectly.
You
may sometimes admit, to others, that you were, so to speak, stuck in your head
or in your mind, but that is not correct, as far as handling of language is
concerned. Something very different is taking place than your usual
descriptions. What is it, when you say and hear, that you think something? You
say it, you hear it, but there is no such thing, as thinking at all. What is
it, when you write, that you supposedly think? You write it and you can write
it, because thinking doesn't exist at all. Someone with EL never experiences a
writer’s block. The only proof - which is of course not a proof at all - that
your so-called thinking really exists, is that you say it or write it, so that
it can be heard or read. If in the end that should ever be the case, that you
started saying what only you could say and wrote what only you could write – to
yourself – then you know, that your handling of language has changed and made
it irrefutably clear , that your thinking or having a mind doesn’t exist. In
other words: there is no such thing as finding or going your own way. We all go
exactly the same way, because we all just die one day.
EL
is the awareness of impermanence expressed in language. We simply cannot turn
away from the fact of our death, as we have come to recognize death with our
language and regard it as something that happens during our communication. So,
we really solve our fear of death during EL. It is not sad, but very uplifting
and revealing, for we no longer put off living because of our fear of death,
which is lifted by our EL. With our EL, we will not only say what we can and
want to say, but we will also do everything that we can and want to do. So, it
is absolutely inconceivable, someone with EL would not want to talk to someone
else who also has EL, because they both know, they are the only few individuals
who are capable of doing this. This gives us a grateful feeling, that lasts
forever, as it is preserved because we remain loyal to EL, continue to share it
with each other and, therefore, also make it known to others.