Willingness
(I rather translate it as preparedness. This text was first written in Dutch),
I
am very motivated to write in Dutch, even though I only speak it once a week,
with my Dutch Language friend AnnaMieke. Sometimes I also speak to myself in
Dutch, because it is the language I grew up in, but since I have lived in
America since 1999, I naturally mainly speak English. However, it is still
important for me to write and speak about my Language Enlightenment (LE) with
my Embodied Language (EL), in Dutch. Somehow, I find that more pleasant than
speaking and writing about it in English.
I
always welcome everyone's willingness to have EL with me, but immediately
distance myself as soon as it comes to Disembodied Language (DL) again. When I
longed for others, to have that preparedness to leave DL behind and to cherish and explore EL,
I was frustrated and sad, but now that this longing has disappeared, I feel
positive and full of energy.
If
there is no readiness in others to enter into EL with themselves, there is no
point in me talking about it with them. I've learned the hard way, so to speak,
but it's also because I'm actually the discoverer of EL and no one has done
this before. Never before has anyone opposed conditioning with DL so
skillfully, so explicitly, so passionately and with such unrepentant perseverance,
because only in this way EL finally gets a chance to flourish.
The individual, who is willing
to take note of what EL really
is - and therefore not what we,
still from our conditioning with
DL, tend to believe it to be -
has no choice, but to recognize,
that it is indeed the language is
of our enlightenment. At first,
I was shocked and disappointed,
to discover and admit to
myself that this eagerness
was not particularly great,
but I gradually discovered,
because of the recognition
of my LE, that in fact that
willingness is not even there
at all. I couldn’t believe it,
but it did.
Now
that I can - without any hesitation - speak and write with my EL about my LE,
it is clear to me that what I for a long time considered, as the decidedly not
very great enthusiasm of others, was nothing other than my own ability, to have
EL with them. It always depended on me, whether there was EL or not. My LE
finally made it clear to me, with my EL, that I didn't need to carry the flag
for EL.
For
my part, all my life – even before I discovered EL – there has was an
inclination to have EL. When I didn't know that, it gave me many problems,
which I overcame. This has made me a special person, but being a special person
is not accepted because of the ubiquitous, dumbing down of DL. During DL, only
herd behavior is valued, but not individuality. My indomitable willingness has
been tested by others and exploited time and time again, but despite my trauma,
I have come into my LE.
EL
requires the authenticity to be absolutely honest with yourself. This comes
about, when you talk to yourself all alone and listen to the sound of your own
voice. You cannot avoid doing something with your voice, to sound friendly,
confident, strong, calm, intelligent, interested, objective, reliable,
rational, open or fun. If you talk to yourself long enough - about all kinds of
things that are important to you - you will stop this unnatural voice, because
only then will you hear what you sound like when you speak with your own voice
and the sound of EL.
So,
it is not a matter of greater, lesser, rational, emotional, moral, political or
amusing willingness, because you are either ready or not. When you talk to
yourself and listen to yourself, whether you want to admit it or not, you inevitably
discover, that you are not willing to have EL, because you have been
conditioned to have DL. The only thing you can do is to admit what you do not
want to admit and that you have therefore continued to have DL out of habit.
Yet, admitting that, stops your DL and then you experience a moment of EL. You will
know when this happens because you sound so different.
Your
preparedness to have BT is characterized by the correct tone of your voice,
which you cannot produce if you still feel threatened, confused, angry or sad.
All those negative emotions have nothing to do with EL at all. People say that
they want to have positive emotions, but only say this because they feel
negative. They also say whether something is funny or not, but only do this when
it is not funny. In DL, there's always
this lousy, half-assed stuff.
I
find it ridiculous that speakers, after they have finished speaking, repeatedly
thank the audience for their so-called willingness to listen to them. In DL,
people behave as if listening to a speaker is a reward for saying what the
listener wants to hear. If you talk to yourself, however, you will discover
that everything can and should be listened to and that your willingness to
listen, does not depend on whether you want to hear or like to hear it or not.
In EL
everything can flow, because we have the willingness to really listen to
ourselves and to experience, that what we tell ourselves is true. It is true
that we - unconsciously - concern ourselves almost exclusively with DL,
because, supposedly, we ourselves cannot conceive of that possibility, to talk
to ourselves and to listen to ourselves. But when we go to therapy, because of so-called
psychological problems, the psychologists or therapists act with their voices,
as if they accept us unconditionally, because we, supposedly, cannot do that
ourselves.