Ugly,

 

Since everyone, almost permanently, engages in Disembodied Language (DL), nobody is able to talk about how ugly it sounds and looks. Only someone like me, who is aware, that he or she has Embodied Language (EL), notices and addresses, the falseness and unnaturalness of the illusions, which everyone accepts as normal. The woman, who believes to be a man or the man, who believes to be a woman, look and sound as ugly, as the person, who believes, he or she was saved by someone, who, presumably, died some two-thousand years ago, on the cross.

 

Nobody is ugly, when they are happy, but when they are frustrated and unhappy – because of how they were conditioned to use their language – they sound more and more ugly every day. According to DL, we shouldn’t say, that someone sounds ugly, because it hurts their feelings, but anyone with EL, would agree, everyone with DL sounds ugly. And, yes, they also look ugly and act ugly. There is absolutely nothing enjoyable about their ugly DL.

 

Everyone compares themselves to everyone else and tries to be beautiful, strong, certain, healthy and happy, but this belief, in and of itself, is ugly. As long as we can’t even address and, therefore, stop our DL, so that we can have EL, something ugly is going on between us. I don’t say this out loud, as it would get me in trouble, but I write it, because I let myself know, this is how I feel. I have no business with anyone’s ugly DL and must remind myself, since I too was conditioned by this ugly form of speech.  

 

I don’t shake my head at the having ugly thoughts about DL, but I say or write, to myself, as clearly as I can, why I find DL so ugly. I no longer walk around having hurt feelings about DL, but, since I have EL, I happen to be aware, how incredibly ugly it is, that everyone constantly disagrees with each other and is creating conflicts. It is ugly that people talk about nothing else, but problems and if they try to speak about something positive, it is merely an ugly show.   

 

People are ugly, because they can’t be themselves. They do ugly things to themselves and to others, as they are convinced this needs to be done. I am not going into all the ugly things people do, as I prefer to stick with the undeniable observation, that these are the inevitable consequences of their participation in DL. I have always been unwillingly forced into this ugly mess. In my opinion, it isn’t any different for anyone else. There is no one, awake, intelligent and brave enough to say, that the emperor’s voice sounds ugly.

 

A false smile is an ugly smile. Those, who did, the ugly things, they had to do, to climb the ladder, to become and to remain famous or notorious, are not, all of a sudden – because they bask in media attention – a shining light. To the contrary, once people arrive in their positions of power – and become tone-deaf to anything from outside of their echo-chambers – they must constantly struggle, to hide their real ugly motives. Their virtue-signaling is a clear sign of how ugly and dishonest they are.

 

The ugly saying goes, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but with DL, we continuously discount and dismiss the beauty, which is in the ear of the listener. Moreover, the speaker is the listener in EL, as each speaker listens to him or herself, therefore, the beauty is also in the mouth of the speaker, who is his or her own listener. If you, who read this, still believe, that I am just making this up, it just shows how insidious your conditioning with DL is. I don’t say this to upset anyone, but it is an ugly, unknown fact, that your DL ruins everything that is beautiful.

 

Your sinister, deceptive, sneaky DL can’t reveal, who you really are. We keep talking about human rights, but how about the right to have EL, in which we can recognize, who we really are? I have said to myself: I have the right and the ability, to stop my own ugly DL. Moreover, after I've cried and laughed about it, I’ve  created my own rules regarding communication. It is clear to me, my EL reveals my self-nature and that is why I call it my Language Enlightenment (LE). I am enlightened, because my EL allows me to be, who I have always been, but couldn’t be, with my ugly DL.

 

When people say: you don’t have to get ugly, they complain about something, which was already going on, but which wasn’t and couldn’t be addressed. DL, which is going on everywhere, twenty-four-seven, is ugly, period. Obviously, addressing DL with more DL, is only giving us more and uglier DL. The only effective way to address DL is with EL, but, this can and will only be done, if we accept the effortless expression of our true nature, that is, if we express our LE with our EL.  

 

Only,  

 

I only want Embodied Language (EL), because I am enlightened. My Language Enlightenment (LE) told me, to stop wasting my time with Disembodied Language (DL). I understand, why people are stuck with their DL and I can’t help them. They can and should help themselves, but I know, they won’t do this, as they are slaves to their conditioning history.

 

You have asked yourself the question, about why you do the things you do, a million times, but as long as you are engaged in DL, you get carried away by the answers, you come up with. Only if you have your own question – with EL – do you find your own answer and be done with it. Only someone like me, doesn’t have any questions, because I have asked and answered all of them, with EL. Such is my LE.

 

I have often been accused of not listening and only recently, have I become capable of understanding why I didn’t want to listen. I was feeling so ashamed about it, because I wanted to listen, but yet, I didn’t. Somehow, I could never really listen to anyone’s DL. It is a miracle, I have come as far as I have, because the bottom line of my life was and still is, I ignore all DL. I wasn’t always as good at it and resolved about it, as I am today, but I have always been that way.

 

If only you would allow yourself, to be a little bit like me, yes, if only you could trust these words and say out loud – to yourself – that what I say is really true, you wouldn’t want to listen to anyone’s DL anymore either. Only someone, who has come to know the difference between DL and EL, can go against his or her own conditioning history with DL and continue with EL, like I do. Moreover, only someone, who falls in love with his or her own EL, attains his or her LE.  

 

It would be dreadful for me, if I would only write on my blog about my EL and my LE, in the hope, to one day convince you, to have EL with me. However, the fact is, I don’t care about that anymore. It is not so much, that I don’t care about you, but I don’t care about your DL. It is nothing personal. Yes, with DL, you can never be personal. Only if you have EL, can you be personal, as only EL brings out your sound. I care more about my EL, because it sounds so good.

 

I am able to stay with and go on with EL, because I really sound better, than anyone with DL. If only you would pay attention, to how you sound, while you speak, you would immediately notice, you speak with a voice, which isn’t real, but which is acted. I don’t ask you to listen to me or to trust me, but to speak with and listen to yourself and to trust the voice you only have, when you don’t act. When you listen to yourself, in that way, you will begin to really speak with yourself and effortlessly engage in EL.

 

Of course, I can read, whatever someone else has written, I’m capable of it and I have often done so, in the past. Surely, I can also listen – I don’t have a hearing defect – to whatever someone else is saying and I have done that too, but today, I am no longer interested in what someone else has written, nor in what someone else is saying, as I recognize, it is all more of the same, stupid, boring, mechanical DL.

 

My EL may strike you as very serious, but it is funny and you have my permission, to laugh about what I say. I say this, so you don’t miss – like you always do – the opportunity to laugh. It would be sad, if I said something funny and you missed it. Sad for you, not for me, because I will laugh anyway, regardless of whether you find me funny or not. I am into defiant humor. I defy the odds, which, I don’t view as being against me, but being against everyone, who has DL.

 

To acknowledge my arrogant humor, is one thing, but to experience, why it is that way, is another. I mention this specifically, to make myself clear, so you can bring attention, to how you feel, because you are not in the habit of doing that, with your DL. You laugh as little, as miserly, as phony, as you do, because, supposedly, your feelings and experiences don’t matter enough, to be laughed about, by you.

 

I’ve got news for you. Since I laugh about myself, you can laugh, in this special environment, which I have created, with this blog. Moreover, you finally laugh about your own stuff, as I don’t distract you with my stuff. It is such a break-through, to use my humor, to laugh about yourself. Nobody can laugh about you, the way you can laugh about yourself. As I was just saying, I am only here to help, as it comes natural for me, to do that. If you don’t want it, read something else, something that is more interesting.

 

I know, I am not the source of your joy and laughter, I’m merely a catalyst. I enhance your ability, to laugh about yourself, because I am the only one, who has EL. Without laughter – that is, without laughing at yourself – you will continue to fail, to have EL. Only EL can make you do that, as your DL always creates the illusion of humor. Indeed, DL creates the illusion of everything. You imagine being important, but you are not. You fancy being in control, but you’re not. You assume you are immortal, but you are going to die, just like every other human being. You believe, with fanatic DL, that you are right, but, hilariously, with EL, you will find, you were absolutely wrong.  

 

I often say, that with EL, the experience comes first and then follows the understanding. In other words, in EL, understanding is secondary to experiencing, as our understanding emerges from our experience. Today I want to revise this, because your EL follows from your laughter, about your own dull, automatic, unintelligent, demanding, self-defeating, nasty DL. I imagine hearing you laugh, whole-heartedly, about  the misery of all of mankind. How the hell, did we get it so wrong? What took us so long? Well, it isn’t about us, it is about you. You got it wrong and you took this long, to laugh at yourself, to make your EL possible and to hear yourself say: I am enlightened.

 

P.S. Check out my songs about our DL, EL and LE on You Tube. Type in my name Maximus Peperkamp and listen to me singing my own texts to famous songs. I accompany my songs on the ukulele.   

 

Zeker,

 

Ik ben er zeker van dat er een tijd zal gaan komen, dat iedereen het verschil zal erkennen tussen Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) en Belichaamde Taal (BT). Dit verschil is net zo belangrijk als dat de aarde plat of rond is. Bovendien ben ik er eveneeens zeker van dat de lezer die dit leest al op de hoogte is van dit verschil, maar het nooit grondig heeft onderzocht en volledig heeft toegegeven, omdat hij of zij niet in staat was om verder te gaan met BT.

 

Ik ben zeker van de vele positieve gevolgen van mijn BT, omdat ik die elke dag ervaar. Bovendien komt mijn geluk of mijn Taal Verlichting (TV) tot uiting in de liedjes die ik graag zing. Ik schrijf mijn eigen teksten op bestaande melodieen en speel mijn ukelele. Je kunt mijn liederen vinden op You Tube, door mijn naam Maximus Peperkamp in te typen. Als ik een bekende, mooie melodie hoor, die ik kan spelen, weet ik zeker, dat ik binnen enkele minuten een nieuwe tekst voor dit nummer heb, omdat ik altijd schrijf en graag zing over OT, BT en TV.

 

Ik ben er zeer zeker van, dat als je eenmaal het grote verschil tussen je OT en BT herkent, als je eenmaal beseft, dat je je geluk alleen kunt uiten met je BT – en dus niet met OT – dat je dan, net als ik, eerst je OT zult stoppen en de rest van je leven zult gaan toewijden aan het vertalen en interpreteren met je BT van alles wat je hebt gezegd, gehoord, gelezen of geschreven met je OT. Deze ommekeer en herwaardering van je taalgebruik is mogelijk en  onvermijdelijk, aangezien je BT voor je begint te werken, terwijl je OT tegen je werkt. Deze revisie is absoluut noodzakelijk en daarom ga je het doen.

 

Hoewel je met OT regelrecht ingaat tegen je eigen  conditionerings geschiedenis – en ook natuurlijk tegen de conditionerings geschiedenis van anderen – weet je zeker, dat je dit wilt en kunt doen, omdat er niets belangrijker is in je leven, nadat je TV hebt geproefd met je BT. Je kunt er zeker van zijn, dat je eerste stappen in BT prachtig, maar ook frustrerend zijn, omdat je met je OT steeds weer terugvalt in je oude toestand. Tenzij het je lukt, om je BT voort te zetten, zul je ongelukkig blijven, omdat je er zeker van bent geworden, dat je welzijn volledig afhangt van je eigen taalgebruik.

 

Je moet je BT testen. Door ermee door te gaan – en door de aangename resultaten op te merken van je nieuwe omgang met je taal – wordt je er niet alleen zeker van dat je het kan, maar ook dat je het echt wil doen, omdat je gemotiveerd bent. Ondanks je geschiedenis van conditionering zul je het blijven doen. Bovendien zal, als je erin slaagt om je OT op te geven, je oude zelf-concept volledig veranderen.

 

Terwijl je heerlijk je TV viert met je BT, weet je zeker dat er niet zoiets bestaat als je wens-denken. Je BT is geen kwestie van dingen verzinnen. In OT echter, fantaseerde je er voortdurend op los over van alles en nog wat. Eigenlijk heeft iedereen in OT waanvoorstellingen, omdat we er allemaal heilig in geloven, dat we denken of een innerlijk zelf hebben, die ons gedrag bepaald. Jij bent er – met je BT – zeker van dat dit hele bolwerk een creatie van angst is. Je weet zeker dat je OT gebaseerd was op angst, want zodra je je met je BT bezighoudt, is je angst ineens verdwenen.

 

We houden ons naarstig bezig met OT, omdat we ons bedreigd voelen, maar zodra we naar het geluid van onze stem beluisteren, terwijl we spreken, dan horen we een duidelijke verandering in ons geluid, omdat we de juiste omstandigheid – voor onszelf – hebben gecreëerd, om zonder angst te spreken. Vanaf dat moment genieten we van onze BT, omdat we goed klinken en we verafschuwen de klank van  onze OT, omdat die verschrikkelijk klinkt. We weten ook ineens zeker, waarom niemand in OT naar iemand wil luisteren, omdat in OT niemand zichzelf graag wil horen. Wij kunnen wel zeggen dat hij of zij zichzelf graag hoort spreken, maar het tegendeel is waar. Sprekers, die anderen domineren, horen zichzelf niet graag spreken en als het onder hun aandacht wordt gebracht – hé spreker, het gaat er niet om wat je zegt, maar hoe je het zegt – zijn ze woedend, omdat hun zwendel in duigen valt. Je weet zeker dat de OT, die overal voortdurend aan de gang is, altijd gebaseerd is op overheersing, intimidatie, uitbuiting, dissociatie, manipulatie of afleiding. Het is helemaal geen communicatie.

 

Met BT weet je het zeker, dat je je bewust bent van je taalgebruik, je bent er niet langer mechanisch mee bezig, zoals je bij OT gewend was. Je zult iets nieuws kunnen zeggen of schrijven, omdat je niet langer meer in de religie van het denken gelooft. Je hebt je eigen dingen te zeggen, je eigen waarheden. Je moet het beluisteren, je eigen begrip. En, het is enorm verhelderend om over je BT te schrijven en jezelf daarmee te instrueren, door je eigen teksten te lezen. Soms ben je verbaasd, dat je plotseling zo zeker kunt over jezelf kunt zijn, terwijl je voorheen zoveel twijfels hebt gehad.

 

Met BT weet je het zeker, dat je bent teruggekeerd naar je eigen bewustzing, naar je roots, naar wie je werkelijk bent en je had het niet anders kunnen doen dan met je taal. Je drukt echt je TV uit met je BT. Dit is zo'n overwinningsgevoel, omdat je hebt overwonnen waar iedereen nog, onbewust, mee worstelt. Je weet zeker wat je wilt zeggen, omdat je niet langer reageert. OT is de taal van reactiviteit. Je OT gaat altijd over overleven, maar er is meer in je leven dan overleven. De kwaliteit van je leven wordt bepaald door veilige en stabiele omgevingen, waarin jou BT kan stromen en als jou BT eenmaal stroomt, dan weet je zeker, dat je iets doet waar je direct, maar ook later, profijt van hebt.

 

Certain,

 

I am certain, there will come a time, everyone will acknowledge the difference between Disembodied Language (DL) and Embodied Language (EL). This difference is as important as the earth being flat or round. Moreover, I am certain, that the reader, who reads this, already knows about this difference, but has never thoroughly explored and fully admitted it, since he or she was incapable of continuing with EL.  

 

I am certain of the many positive consequences of my EL, as I experience them every day. Moreover, my happiness or my Language Enlightenment (LE), is expressed in the songs, I love to sing. I write my own texts to existing songs and play my ukulele. You can find all my songs on You Tube, by typing in my name Maximus Peperkamp. When I hear a famous, nice melody, which I can play, I am certain, that within minutes, I have a new text for this song,  because I always write and like to sing about DL, EL and LE.

 

I am very certain, once you recognize the difference between your DL and EL, once you realize that you can only express your happiness with your EL – and not with DL – you will, just like me, stop your DL and spend the remaining part of your life re-interpreting everything you have said, heard, read or written with DL with your LE. This re-appraisal of your language is inevitable, since your language begins to work for you in EL, but is against you in DL. This over-haul is absolutely necessary, that is why you will do it.

 

Although you will be going against your conditioning history with DL – as well as against the conditioning history of others –  you are certain, you want to and you can do this, as there is nothing, that is more important in your life, after you have tasted your LE with your EL. You can be certain, your first steps in EL, are exhilarating and frustrating, since you keep falling back into your old condition with DL. Unless you manage to continue your EL, you will remain unhappy, because you have become certain, that your wellbeing entirely depends on your language.

 

You must test your EL. By continuing with it – and by  noticing the wonderful results of your new of way of dealing language – you become certain, not only, that you can do it, but that you want to do it, that you are motivated to do it and that, in spite of your history of conditioning, you will continue to do it. Furthermore, as you succeed, in abandoning your DL, your old self-concept will completely change.

 

While celebrating your LE with your EL, you become certain, there is no such thing as wishful thinking. EL is not a matter of making things up. In DL, you were constantly fantasizing about everything. Actually, in DL, everyone is delusional, as we all, in one way or another believe, we are thinking or having a mind. You are sure, this entire bulwark is a creation of fear. You are certain, your DL was based on fear, because once you engage in EL, you notice, your fear is gone.

 

We engage in DL, because we feel threatened, but once we listen to the sound of our voice, while we speak, we hear a distinct change in our sound, as we have created the circumstance – for ourselves – to speak without fear. From that moment on, we enjoy our EL, because we sound good and we abhor our DL, because it sounds horrible. We are certain, why nobody wants to listen to anyone in DL, because in DL, nobody likes to hear themselves. We may say, he or she likes to hear him or herself speak, but the fact is just the opposite. Speakers, who dominate others, don’t like to hear themselves speak and if it is brought to their attention – hey, speaker, it is not what you say, but how you say it – they are enraged, because their scam falls apart. You are certain, the DL, that is going on everywhere, is always based on domination, intimidation, exploitation, dissociation, manipulation or distraction. It’s not communication.

 

With EL, you are certain, you are conscious about your use of language, you no longer mechanically engage in it, as you were used to in DL. You will be able to say or write something new, because you no longer believe in the religion of thought. You have your own things to say, your own truths. You need to hear, your own understanding. You need to write about EL and instruct yourself with it, by reading your own writing. At times, you are amazed, you can be this certain, while you have had so many doubts.

 

With EL, you are certain, you have returned to your senses, to your roots, to who you really are and you couldn’t have done it any other way, than with your language. You express your LE with your EL. This is such a victorious feeling, as you have overcome what everyone, unknowingly, is struggling with. You are certain how to respond, as you no longer react. DL is the language of reactivity. Your DL is always about survival, but there is more to your life, than surviving. The quality of life is determined by safe and stable environments, in which your EL flows and once it flows, you are certain, that you are doing something, which is immediately beneficial to you.                    

 

Apparently,

 

Apparently, some people read my work, but what is the use of reading my texts, if you never talk with me? I don’t write for anyone, who doesn’t talk with me and suggest, you stop reading my words, which, apparently, don’t mean that much to you anyway.

 

Apparently, you just want to read about it, but you don’t want to do it. You don’t really want to have Embodied Language (EL), but by reading about it, you imagine, that you are learning about it. No way. You are fooling yourself, as have millions of people, who tenaciously believe, their spoken language can change because of something, that was written.

 

Apparently, your belief is more important than EL, which, first and foremost, is about speaking with yourself and listening to yourself and hearing the sound of your own voice, while you speak. As long as you don’t do that, you engage, inadvertently, in Disembodied Language (DL), the way of talking, in which you believe to be right, while you are wrong.

 

I emphasize spoken language, because how we talk sets the stage for how we deal with our language. If you want to change the way in which you deal with your language, you must acknowledge, the change in the sound of your voice, when you shift from DL to EL. Unless you experience this shift, again and again, nothing changes. You chip away at your long history of conditioning with DL, each time you experience this shift. This is how your EL increases.

 

Apparently, you still believe, someone else is going to do for you, what you refused to do for yourself. If I believed, I could do it for you, I would be teaching EL to you, but I don’t believe that, although I used to. With EL, we each go our own journey and this is beautiful, as it is the blossoming of our individuality.

 

Going our own way is scary, because stepping away from the group-behaviors, you have been used to your whole life, is absolutely necessary. You have acquired many self-defeating, neurotic behaviors, which have to be stopped by you, before you can confidently continue with your EL. It is a matter of you taking charge of your life, by increasing what you want and by abandoning what you don’t want.  

 

When you hear yourself, explain to yourself, the big important difference between DL and EL, you admit to yourself that, apparently, you were wrong about what you believed about yourself. Your overrated  identity instantly vanishes, as you realize you never talked like this before. Apparently, you have always put yourself last, while others were more important.

 

Apparently, your DL was never properly addressed, as it was never talked about with EL. If you had done what I am writing about, you would have experienced Language Enlightenment (LE), the moment you began to have EL. Of course, you would like to share your LE with your EL, but, like me, you’ll find, there is no one to share it with, as everyone only has DL. This challenges you to go on,  on your own, by talking out loud with yourself.

 

Apparently, you are never going to do, what it takes to experience your LE. If you don’t know how have ongoing EL, how are you supposed to experience a sense of wellbeing? Yes, LE is simply your wellbeing, which is either maintained and stimulated by your language, or it is undermined by it. With DL, you do the latter and, as I was saying, you must stop that.

 

When you take your first steps in EL, you will laugh and cry about your own stupidity. Apparently, with your DL, you have become very good, at increasing your own problems. The more EL you being to have, the more you have to acknowledge, none of what you have said was true, you were only imagining.

 

Apparently, it is not your so-called mind or thinking, which made your life as meaningless and miserable as it is, but how you deal with your language. How you deal with language depends on four things: 1) speaking, 2) listening, 3) writing and 4) reading. You know, when you engage in these. Apparently, your so-called mental activities, are just imaginary waste products of your DL, because in EL, they do not even occur. By bringing all your attention to your EL, you can solve any of your so-called mental health issues.

 

The word, apparently, which means, indisputable, clearly understood, easily seen or perceived – and can be traced to the French word (1400), aparant, which means, evident, obvious, visible – derives from Latin, apparentem, which means, visible, manifest, present participle of apparere, to appear or come in sight. What is not so apparent about this  word – which emphasizes visual stimuli – is that it  doesn’t mention auditory stimuli, which are heard.

 

We have all heard or read the saying, that someone, apparently, could not refrain from expressing his thoughts, that had suddenly occurred to him. What  goes unnoticed in this expression, is that he was merely saying something. Every day, everywhere, people say: I think, we should do it like this, but all that happens, is that they say something, and, yes, they repeatedly say it and believe, that they think.

 

When someone has EL, he or she says the wisest things. Moreover, he or she is very pleased by what he or she has said, as it paves the way for positive consequences. Apparently, with EL, everyone is a genius, because it expresses our LE. Apparently, the self-knowledge, that one acquires with EL, perfectly matches what we have come to know scientifically. Apparently, EL is scientifically relevant, as it doesn’t allow any bias of conditioned and cherished beliefs.

 

Apparently, you believe, you aren’t ready or willing to talk with me, but I say to you, you are ready and willing, but you are holding yourself back because of conditioning. If you talk with me, you will talk with someone, who can express his LE with EL. You need to hear and experience this, to be able to stop your DL, have ongoing EL and realize your LE. You are as good as you can be and any time is the right time. Contact me on skype. Limbicease is my skype name. You can also type in my name Maximus Peperkamp on You Tube and listen to my songs about EL and LE.    

 

Familie,

 

Mijn familie weigert om Belichaamde Taal (BT) met mij te hebben. Hoewel ze, net als iedereen, mijn blog  kunnen lezen en aan de weet kunnen komen, hoe ik leef en waar ik het over heb, ze verwachten nog steeds dat ik Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) met hen heb en dat ik dat goed vind. Nee, daar ben ik niet mee akkoord. Eigenlijk zou ik moeten zeggen, dat ik het daar niet meer mee eens ben. Het is moeilijk voor mij geweest, maar nadat ik mij mijn hele leven door mijn familie afgewezen had gevoeld, kwam ik uiteindelijk tot de conclusie, dat ik ze moest afwijzen.

 

Ik kon het niet geloven, ik moest dit doen. Ik kon het gewoonweg niet geloven, dat ik dit kon en zou gaan doen. Ik wilde zo graag geaccepteerd worden, dat ik bleef hopen, dat ze mij op een of andere manier, op een dag, zouden gaan erkennen en begrijpen. Dit is echter nooit gebeurd en ik geloof niet langer dat dit ooit nog zal gaan gebeuren. Ik hoor van niemand in mijn familie, omdat ik ze de duidelijke boodschap heb gegeven: óf je bent bereid om BT met mij te verkennen, óf ik wil niets met je te maken hebben. Het is een kwestie van zelfbehoud. Ik had al zo lang geleden. Mijn BT zei tegen mij: genoeg is genoeg.

 

Voor zover ik weet leven mijn vader en moeder nog en heb ik drie zussen en twee broers, maar geen van hen is oprecht genoeg, om contact met mij op te nemen en met mij te praten over waarom ik moest doen wat ik gedaan heb. Ontkenning en pretentie was en is nog steeds hun laffe manier, om met het misbruik om te gaan, dat in onze familie plaatsvond, maar ik overwon mijn trauma met mijn BT. Je zou kunnen zeggen, dat ik heel gefascineerd ben geraakt door communicatie, omdat ik ontdekte, dat ik met mezelf kon praten en mezelf alles kon vertellen, wat ik niet tegen hen kon zeggen. Zeker, daarna – nadat ik BT had ontdekt – wilde ik met anderen praten, op dezelfde manier waarop ik met mezelf praatte.

 

Ik heb met niemand in mijn 

familie meer contact. 

Hoewel mijn familie een 

grote teleurstelling voor 

mij is geweest, heb ik 

hierdoor een andere manier

 geleerd, om met taal om

 te gaan. Bovendien is 

mijn BT – die zo ongelooflijk

 anders is dan de stressvolle, 

gefrustreerde, angstige, 

deprimerende, angstige OT, 

waarmee ik ben opgegroeid – 

ook de voortzetting van alles 

wat goed was in mijn familie. 

Ja, niet alles was slecht. Eigenlijk 

waren er vele prachtige dingen,

 die het des te pijnlijker en 

verwarrender maakten dat er 

sprake was van verraad aan 

de gevoeligheid, schoonheid, 

vreugde, warmte en saamhorigheid. 

Ik vatte ook alles heel persoonlijk op, 

alsof er met mij iets verkeerd was 

en handelde daar ook naar. 

 

Misschien kwam het doordat ik de oudste zoon was, dat ik me emotioneel verantwoordelijk voelde, maar in mijn familie kon ik nooit iets goed doen. Er was een tijd, dat ik spijt van had, dat ik geen eigen gezin had gesticht, maar vandaag ben ik zo blij, dat ik dat niet heb gedaan. Ik ben gelukkig getrouwd en leid een betekenisvol, vredig leven met mijn lieve vrouw Bonnie. Ik heb een hele hechte band met mijn Chinese schoonfamilie en heb enorm genoten van mijn schoonvader, toen hij nog leefde. Hij accepteerde mij en we maakten connectie. Ik ben zo gelukkig dat ik deze geweldige man heb ontmoet. Terwijl ik deze woorden schrijf, ben ik dankbaar voor zijn invloed.

 

Hoewel BT tot veel geweldige ontwikkelingen heeft geleid, zijn de recente resultaten voor mij het meest bevredigend, aangezien ik zonder aarzeling ben begonnen te spreken en schrijven over mijn Taal Verlichting (TV). Als ze deze blog lezen, denken mijn familieleden waarschijnlijk dat ik gek ben, maar dat kan me niets schelen. Ik heb nu een andere kijk op waarom niemand van mijn familie bereid is om BT met mij te verkennen. Ze zijn bang voor hun eigen BT, omdat deze ook hun TV zal onthullen en dit zal alles totaal veranderen.

 

In november vier ik mijn 

vijfenzestigste verjaardag. 

Ik ben nooit meer terug geweest

 bij mijn familie in Nederland, 

sinds ik in 1999 emigreerde en

 Amerikaans staatsburger werd. 

Ik kan me er niet veel meer van 

herinneren en ik vind dit een 

heel prettig effect van het ouder 

worden. Vandaag wilde ik over 

mijn familie schrijven, omdat 

ik toch hoop dat ze dit lezen. 

Ik schrijf dit, om mezelf een 

plezier te doen zonder hen. Ja, 

dat is wat ik doe. Ik geef niet 

meer om ze, net zoals zij niet 

meer om mij geven.

 

Hoewel ik goed overweg kan met de familie van mijn vrouw, is daar ook niemand geïnteresseerd in het verkennen van BT. Familie is een eeuwenoud concept, dat het groepsgedrag vertegenwoordigt dat OT tot op de dag van vandaag in stand heeft gehouden. Eigenlijk staat geen enkel gezin toe dat de kinderen echt zichzelf zijn. Ja, elke ouder indoctrineert zijn kinderen. Ik vraag me af wat er zou gebeuren, als we onze kinderen met BT zouden opvoeden en ze zouden behandelen als de verlichte wezens die ze werkelijk zijn? Natuurlijk zouden wij ook al verlicht zijn en zouden we weten waar we het over hadden, omdat we meester over onze eigen taal zijn geworden. Als we onze taal bewust gaan gebruiken, zal alles volkomen anders zijn.

 

BT overstijgt het gezin, omdat het gemeenschap creëert. Het doet dit omdat we individuen worden, vanwege onze nieuwe manier om met taal om te gaan. Mensen houden ervan om veel met dat woord  gemeenschap te gooien, maar zolang we geen individuen met BT zijn, kan er geen gemeenschap zijn. Er bestaat alleen een valse veronderstelling van saamhorigheid, waaraan iedereen zich mechanisch en onbewust conformeert. Bovendien maken we het onmogelijk om als individuen authentiek te praten, omdat de groep zogenaamd  belangrijker is. Dit is al een eeuwigheid aan de gang. In de BT-gemeenschap is iedereen dus verlicht. Om deel uit te maken van die tot dusver tamelijk kleine gemeenschap moet je al je ellende achter je laten.

 

Family,

 

My family refuses to have Embodied Language (EL) with me. Although they can, like everyone else, read my blog and know exactly what I am about, they still expect me to have Disembodied Language (DL) with them and be okay with that. No, I am not okay with that. Actually, I should say, I am no longer okay with that. It has been difficult for me, but, after having felt rejected by my family – my whole life – I finally came to the conclusion, that I had to reject them.

 

I couldn’t believe, I had to do this. I couldn’t believe, I could and would do this. I wanted to be accepted so badly, I kept hoping, they would, somehow, one day, acknowledge and understand me. However, this never happened and I no longer believe, it is ever going to happen. I don’t hear from anyone in my family anymore, because I gave them the clear message: either you are willing explore EL with me, or I don’t want to have anything to do with you. It is a matter of self-preservation. I had already suffered, for so long. My EL instructed me: enough is enough.   

 

As far as I know, my father and my mother are still alive and I have three sisters and two brothers, but none of them are sincere enough, to get in touch with me and talk with me, about why I had to do as I have done. Denial and pretention was and is their way of dealing with the abuse, that went on in our family, but I overcame my trauma with my EL. You could say, I became fascinated with communication, because I discovered, I could talk with myself and tell myself everything, I couldn’t say to them. Surely, after that, after I discovered EL, I wanted to talk with others, in the same way, I was talking with myself.  

 

I am not close with anyone in my family. Although my family has been a big disappointment to me, it is  because of this, I’ve learned about another way of dealing with language. Moreover, my EL – which is so incredibly different from the stressful, frustrated, anxious, depressing, fearful DL, I grew up with – is also the continuation of everything, that was good in my family. Yes, not everything was bad. Actually, there were many wonderful things, which made it all the more painful and confusing, that there was this betrayal of the sensitivity, beauty, joy, warmth and togetherness. I took everything very personal.

 

Perhaps, it was because I am the oldest son, I felt emotionally responsible, but in my family, I could never do anything right. There was a time, I deeply regretted, I didn’t create my own family, but today, I am so glad, that I didn’t. I am happily married and live a meaningful, peaceful life with my sweet wife Bonnie. I am very close with my Chinese in-laws and have greatly enjoyed my father-in-law, when he was still alive. He accepted me and we connected. I am so fortunate, to have met this wonderful man. As I write these words, I feel grateful for his influence.

 

While EL has led to many great developments, the recent results are the most satisfying to me, since I have started to speak and write without hesitation about my Language Enlightenment (LE). If they read this blog, my family members probably believe I am crazy, but I don’t care. I now have a different take on why no one of my family is willing to explore EL with me. They are afraid of their own EL, because it will also reveal their LE and this will change everything.

 

In November, I celebrate my sixty-fifth birthday. I’ve never been back to my family in the Netherlands, since I emigrated in 1999 and became a US citizen. I don’t remember much about them and I find this a very pleasant effect of getting older. Today, I wanted to write about my family, because I hope they read this. I write this, to please myself without them. Yes, that is what I do. I don’t care about them anymore, in the same way, that they don’t care about me.

 

Although I get along well with my wife’s family, no one there is interested in exploring EL either. In my view, family is an ancient concept, which represents the group-behavior, that has perpetuated DL, until this very day. Basically, no family allows its children to be themselves. Yes, every parent indoctrinates their children. I wonder, what would happen, if we would raise our children with EL and treat them like the enlightened beings they are? Of course, we  would be enlightened as well and we would know what we are talking about, as we have become the master over our own language. When we use our language consciously, everything will be different.

 

EL transcends the family, as it creates community. It does this because, we become individuals, due to our new way of dealing with language. People like to toss – community – around a lot, but, as long as we are not individuals, with EL, there can’t be any community. There is merely this phony assumption of togetherness, to which everyone, mechanically and unconsciously conforms. Moreover, we make it impossible to talk authentically as individuals, because, presumably, the group is more important. This has been going on forever. In the EL-community everyone is enlightened. To be part of that community you must leave behind your misery.