August 19, 2014

August 19, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

When this writer urges the reader to not do anything, he doesn’t mean to say that the reader can decide to not do anything. In the same way that we cannot decide to do something, we also cannot decide not to do anything. We are not, as we are inclined to believe, causing our own behavior. We don’t yet have the language to accurately describe this fact, that is why we keep on believing in something which is unequivocally wrong. The change we seek is not going to come because we succeed in making it happen. If change happens it is because of how we talk. 

We talk as if we cause our own actions. We speak as if we continuously decide what we do or what we do not do. This kind of communication is what I call Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). It is called NVB because it is harmful, lethal, injurious, toxic and poisonous. The idea that we are responsible for our own behavior makes us communicate in a way in which we only care about ourselves and not about each other. In Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB), by contrast, we share feelings of love, joy, openness, consideration, friendliness, sensitivity, beauty and peacefulness. 

It must be said here, however, that we don’t do SVB or NVB individually, we always have either one with others. Even NVB is meaningless when it is done by oneself. No matter how hurtful, our language only matters if others speak it. Yet, we speak the language of hate (NVB) or love (SVB) not because of ourselves, but because of those with whom we live and have lived. Without them we wouldn’t be speaking the way we do. This is not some speculation, this is a fact. 

Each time we realize we don’t behave our language alone, we change. This change comes about, because it can come about and it didn’t happen as long as it couldn’t happen. It is therefore not because you have changed your ideas that change will happen. Certainly, there will be a change of ideas, but there will be no involvement from any agent,  who, supposedly, is making this happen. If one would decide, like me, to study behaviorology, one would only be inclined to do so, because one has already noticed, without getting again upset about it, that one cannot change one’s own behavior. Only scientific facts can set the stage for behaviorial change.