October 24, 2014

October 24, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

 Dear Reader, 

A new experience has occurred. This writer, who often facilitates groups during which people talk loudly, finds it useful to write down his thoughts, while others are speaking. Before, when he didn’t write down what he thought and felt, he used to get distracted by the sound of the voices of others, but now, by writing, he finds his ability to focus has improved. Before, he wasn’t able to think while others were speaking, but now, by writing, he is able to think about what is being said. Now that he writes about it, he knows it was because people sounded threatening to him that he was so often unable to understand what they were talking about. 

It came as a surprise this morning during group, when the parolees were talking in a frustrated manner and this writer was writing down what he was thinking about it, that he suddenly felt as if he got back his language. Due to a habit he had for a long time, this writer was used to losing his language whenever people sounded negative. By writing, he noticed that his thoughts became clear and he was able to think, but without this writing, he felt confused and drained again. 

This writer could never have guessed that his lack of attention had to do with his inability to formulate language, but this morning, as he was writing what he was thinking, he noticed a couple of times that he felt again overwhelmed by the voices of others. Each time he began to write, however, his focus immediately returned and in such a way that he was completely focused again. This is a great discovery: language can be found back in spite of the common communication chaos.  

Earlier in the day, before going to work, this writer had been unhappy about his conversation with his wife. However, he didn’t say anything, but later gave her a call. In the brief conversation that followed his surprised wife told him that she had felt impacted by the negative experiences of the clients she was dealing with in her work. She realized that the same was true for this writer. She acknowledged the importance of being mindful about these effects and also found back her language, due to which her negative emotions were replaced by positive ones.