May 28, 2014

May 28, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader,

It is in the middle of the night and this writer woke up to write these words. Tomorrow the big tree in the backyard will be taken down. It is going to be a big change. Another big change is going to be that this writer found a better job and is about to be hired. He heard it yesterday evening. While writing these words, this writer is listening to music by Antonio Vivaldi. The melody of the music is beautiful. He looks at the letters as they appear in front of him on the screen. It is magic. There is nothing and suddenly there are these  letters which make up these words and sentences. It is incredible this happens by moving his fingers over his keyboard. He is not in a hurry and patiently waits for the letters to tell him which words to write.

This focus on letters never occurred before. Normally his attention goes to words, or rather, to sentences which contain words. In this unusual writing, however, he looks at how every single letter comes out of now where. The stream of letters momentarily stops and then it continues again. How is this possible? Also, he edits this stream of letters and he prunes and aims it. At what are these letters directed? A question appears which is metaphorical, because there is no stream of letters. The stream of letters is just a matter of speaking, or rather, a matter of writing. However, once a metaphor like this has been introduced many thoughts are said to come to mind, for instance, that editing happens at the level of words rather than at the level of letters. Furthermore, there is attention away from the letters and the words towards the sentences. This is where the idea of aiming this stream of letters comes in. These letters are definitely words, which in these sentences have to go somewhere or it wouldn’t make any sense. This writer is not sitting here typing letters; he is saying something to himself and to the possible reader. 

It is pleasing to recognize that the production and the observation of these letters cause meaning, which is enhanced by this writing. There is a sense of discovery about where this is going. The question as such doesn’t arise, but seems to have become a context in which this writing occurs. Due to these words a space has opened itself in which this writer roams. It was never before clear that this is what actually occurs. This can occur when he writes. A space is created to express and observe what he expresses. In effect, due to his observation of his own expression, he is able to respond to it. He wouldn’t be able to do that without this space. His response to his own words is a joyful expression of unity between the writer and his writing.This writer has been saying all along that reading while one writes is similar to listening while one speaks. However, he maintains that the former only makes sense in the context of the latter. One can only come to reading while one writes by listening while one speaks. This is how it can be discovered. 

May 27, 2014

May 27, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

This writer feels deeply rested and satisfied. The cat is meowing, far away the traffic can be heard and it is a pleasant and cool morning. This writer can take it easy this morning because he only needs to be at his work at eleven. He has some time to think and write. Because things are so good, he decided to find a new letter type. He went down the list and noted that he had never written with the letter type called “Vivaldi.” Since Vivaldi is one of his favorite composers, he chose this letter to write today’s entry in his journal. With this new letter he could only write in cursive, but he liked the look of it: elegant and smooth as Vivaldi’s music. 

There is something Baroque about this letter type, which this writer greatly appreciates. This letter type stands for order and beauty. This writer will find out what he is going to write while he listens to music of Vivaldi. This is in itself such an enjoyable exercise. He did not have this idea before, but now he wants to experiment more often with writing while listening to music. 

This writer was reading about “behavioral cusps", new experiences which make new learning possible. When this writer discovered how his writing was affected by the type of letter he chose to write with, he unexpectedly embarked on a process of exploration and discovery, which still continues in this writing. This one discovery led to many others. Before this writer knew about the influence of letter types on his writing, he had no idea what he was missing. Only after he discovered that different letter types facilitate new writings, this writer realized what a treasure he had found. With the “Vivaldi” letter type he found that both tone and the content was equally affected, which had not been the case with the other letter types. 

This discovery confirmed what he had previously found. He discovered Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) by listening to himself while he speaks. Paying attention to the sound of his voice, while he speaks, led to an entirely different, improved way of communicating. As he taught it to others, it became clear that it was equally true for everyone who experimented with it.  

Although this writer has done quite some writing, he hasn’t done any writing while listening to music. Listening to music of Vivaldi, which is music of his liking, is like listening to the sound of his own voice which he only makes when he is at ease and calm. The author never imagined that this would be possible, but while writing these words he is convinced that this is the case.

Besides,, of course, being determined by his own behavioral history, this writing is also under joint control of the visual and auditory stimuli of the Vivaldi letter type. The beautiful compositions this author hears while he is writing these words are reflected in the clarity of the concepts that he explains.

May 26, 2014

May 26, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

This writer is glad once the family members, who came to visit him and his wife, have left again. Although it was nice to see each other, it soon became clear how different lives  they live and how we don’t have a whole lot to talk about with each other. This led to more eating, more TV and more beers, which didn’t improve this author’s mood and made him feel grouchy and negative. It is nice to know they leave soon.

Only a few people showed up for yesterday’s seminar. However, the few who showed up were doing well and demonstrated that Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) doesn’t depend on the approval of a large crowd. One person left the seminar minutes after it started. She stated that she already knew SVB because she had been to classes about Non Violent Communication (NVC). However, it was clear that she was very uptight and unwilling to consider anything new. One participant, who was familiar with NVC, explained the great difference between SVB and NVC. In NVC, which this writer would consider Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB), the listener is making stringent attempts to listen to the speaker, supposedly in order to better understand him or her. The effort involved in NVC leaves the listener exasperated, because it is based on a predetermined way of communicating. The participant explained the contrast with SVB in which one doesn't feel drained, but energized, because there is effortless communication and spontaneity. Also, she remarked that the lady who left so quickly was convinced she was right and that whatever others are saying was wrong. She said that she didn’t want to listen to or talk about anything she already knew.

It was a relief when she was gone and because this writer avoided getting into any discussion with her, the elephant left the room, all by herself.  It was funny that after she left the atmosphere  immediately cleared up. Participants already felt judged, rejected and humiliated by her. Her departure was the best part of her participation and we all agreed about that. When my in laws have left, my wife and I will be happy, because we can again experience what we together maintain. 

May 25, 2014

May 25, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

Behavior is function of the environment. This writer is having at the moment a full house. Because his mother in law slept in the bed with his wife and because his sister and brother in law slept in the office, this writer slept on the couch in the living room last night, with the door to the garden wide open. It was so warm that for most of the night he slept without a blanket and without a t-shirt on. His sleep was  not so good and he woke up numerous times, but he felt relaxed and as if he was camping out in his own house. He woke up with hearing birds sing.

Everybody is having a great time and woke up around 6:00am to go on an early morning hike in Upper Bidwell. It is going to be very warm today and later it is too blazing hot to go there. It is nice to hear everyone get up and feel the company of others in our house. The brother in law brought his own laptop and he is keeping himself busy with that. While this writer is writing, his wife is watering the garden, her mother is taking a shower and her sister is doing some yoga exercise. 

May 24, 2014

May 24, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

This writer has found that when people at some point decide not to interact with him this has led to new and more reinforcing opportunities for him. People have come and gone and he is no longer as concerned about this as he used to be. Yesterday he gave his last lecture for the Psychology class which he teaches. The group of students was saying wonderful things and praised him for his way of teaching, which they enjoyed and learned so much from. They will all be gone soon after the final, but they had a great time together.  

The reason other people no longer wanted to interact with this writer was of course because it wasn’t reinforcing to them. After they were gone it became clear that it wasn’t reinforcing for him either. This writer has made and continues to make decisions which are based on the achievement and maintenance of mutual reinforcement. He is simply not interested anymore in uni-directional verbal behavior, which he now calls Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). 

Historically, people have seldom told this writer in person that they didn’t feel reinforced by him. They usually left him without saying anything and almost never talked about their decision to ignore his existence completely. In the past, such rejection hurt this writer’s feelings enormously. He often tried in vain to prevent this from happening, but upon discovering Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB), he became less concerned about the people who disconnected from him. 

The reason this writer thinks about this matter is because he went on to explore a process which he found and still finds reinforcing. This process has been so incredibly enriching for him that he doesn’t even regret losing touch with his family members, who live in the Netherlands.  Remarkably, while this author was writing these words, a behaviorist friend of whom he hasn’t heard for a long time, got back in touch with him. He let this author know that he cares about him very much, but he related that sadly his wife was mortally ill and that life has been a roller coaster for him in the last half year. He strongly emphasized the bi-directional nature of the connection he feels with this writer. 

This conversation like nothing else confirms this writer’s confidence in his choice to follow wherever SVB leads him. This friend is of special value to him since he is a psychologist, who lives in Holland. He is a  radical behaviorist belonging to a small stream of behaviorism, the Constructional Approach, which was developed in the Netherlands by Beata Bakker-De Pree.  Moreover, the Constructional Approach  fits perfectly with SVB and explains it. Due to various delightful conversations this writer had with his friend he felt recognized as a behaviorist, which is very important to him. His distinction between SVB and NVB extends the work of  Skinner. 

Although it was tragic to hear him speak about his ill wife, it was great to talk with him briefly and to know that they will soon have more conversations again. As far as this author is concerned connections made in SVB are for life. It was wonderful to hear his friend reiterate this in his native language. He even used a Dutch saying this writer had long forgotten, a description of reinforcement which is on the way, but which one needs to wait on a little. SVB teaches us to be patient, because reinforcement isn’t always immediately available. 

Sayings are verbal instructions that can really help us hang in there. Today is a glorious day for this writer and particularly for his wife. Her mother and her sister and husband came to visit. They drove up all the way from the Bay Area and brought a lot of delicious food. Before they arrived at around noon, this writer and his wife had a garage sale which was surprisingly successful. Lots of old text books which had been sitting in boxes were sold as well as other items they wanted to get rid of. It was a fun event in which also the next door neighbor joined. She sat with us the entire morning and we drank coffee and talked about our neighborhood. Many people came looking at our stuff because they were attracted by signs this writer had placed at the street corners. 

One interaction was with a man who was suffering from intense pain. He was desperately looking for answers on how to better deal with it. When he informed him about the seminar he would conduct next day and the man said he was going to join. Another man was lost and lonely. Although he was bragging and talking obnoxiously, it was clear that his life was unhappy and made him feel like an outcast. He didn’t have any money and so I gave him a book for free. 

Then there was an older couple, who came by bicycle. It was odd, because the neighbor, the writer’s  wife as well as the writer, were sitting in their garage and they greeted and welcomed these folks, who parked their bicycles against the lamppost, but they didn’t say anything. They just looked at our stuff and didn’t bother to even look at us. It wasn’t clear why they wouldn’t say anything because they were in hearing distance and it seemed as if they purposely ignored us. They didn’t buy anything and then left again. May be the lady had wanted to come to the yard sale, but the husband didn’t and so he reluctantly had to come along. May be they were having a disagreement before they came and that was the reason they didn’t say anything. Also, there was another couple who said they were going to get some money and then they would buy the wheels of our neighbor, but they never came back. 

Then there was this cute little girl, who immediately picked up a plastic red hart. She asked what it would cost and she got it for free. She was shy and didn’t dare to say thank you. When her daddy made her say thank you, she made a funny, strange and uncomfortable sound.There appeared this little boy, whose friendly mother bought a couple of plants and books. He got a magnifying glass for free and was very happy. 

Also, two friends of this writer and his wife came to visit with their lovely dog. Initially they had said that they would join the garage sale, but they weren’t up to it. This writer had offered to help them transport their stuff from their house to his drive way, but they had declined. 

Another neighbor, who lives three houses down, also had a yard sale. Everyone who came to our street checked out both places. We inquired with each other how the yard sale was going and each of us was happy to have sold quite a bit. When the sale was finally over the writer and his wife were pretty exhausted and needed a little rest. This gave them just enough time to prepare for the arrival of the family. Once they arrived everyone was in good spirits to see each other again. It was the first time they were visiting the new home of the writer and his wife. They ate together and talked with each other and the writer and his wife got lots of gifts. The writer’s wife’s sister and her husband are one year younger than the writer and his wife. They too have been happily married for a long time and they too decided not to have any children.