No,

 

No, I am not busy with you, because, unlike you, I can stay with myself. My Embodied Language (EL) always includes the speaker as well as the listener, the writer as well as the reader. In other words, as a speaker, I am my own listener and as a writer, I am my own reader. Language is utterly meaningless if this is not the case. Yes, I don’t care about you, as long as you have Disembodied Language (DL).

 

With DL, we pretend to be truthful, meaningful, fair, moral, empathetic or scientific, but the reality is, we have failed again and again, as we are telling ourselves and each other a big fat lie. There can be no peace, as long as we have DL. No matter how often we repeat this lie, in some stupid attempt to convince ourselves, this doesn’t make it true.

 

How can I be considerate to you, if I don’t even hear myself and am only concerned about whether you are listening to me? In DL, the speaker doesn’t give a shit about the listener and, consequently, the writer – who is used to this disembodied way of dealing with language, in which people don’t listen to themselves while they speak – engages in a form of writing, which sells, because readers, who buy into this nonsense, find such writing very important – even more important than speaking – as they have been conditioned, by DL, to believe in the importance of reading best-sellers, that is, in books which are read by many other people or in scientific papers, which are often quoted in other journals.

 

The language-industry is a big racket. All so-called journalists, authors, public speakers, leaders and professors, unknowingly, engage in DL, but pretend to have EL. The reason, nobody is able to put his or her finger on it, is because we are all trapped by DL, which only allows us to fake it, until we, presumably make it. And, making it we do, as we create in our lives, for ourselves, nothing but disorder, although, as stated, we go on saying and writing, it is order.

 

We are endlessly involved with each other, but not with ourselves, not with how we use our language. In DL, we religiously, superstitiously, unintelligently believe, we are talking with others, but the fact is, we are always only talking with our own image, our own memory, our own previous descriptions of who we believed them to be. Thus, although we are, in fact, always only talking with ourselves, we believe the other is someone, who is different from us.  

 

With EL, we stumble upon an immutable reality, as we are, indeed, simultaneously, the speaker as well as the listener, the writer as well as the reader. In other words, everything that we have for so long believed with DL is simply not true. As far as our language is concerned, we are all the same. Words or sentences do not occur in anyone’s head, but are always, objectively, only spoken with our voice and heard with our ears or written with pen in our hand or typed on a key-board and read and seen with our eyes on a paper or a screen. The old saying “seeing is believing” is incomplete, as it was written from a DL perspective. From a EL perspective, hearing what we are seeing, that is, reading these words out loud and, therefore, listening to what we are reading, is not some belief, but it is the reality of our language.

 

We notice, we are not frightened anymore, once we shift from DL to EL. Yes, we were fearful with DL and we weren’t even aware of it. DL made us unaware of many things, we don’t like, which fester, because we can’t deal with it. In DL, we remain infatuated with and fearful about our so-called identity. In DL, we are always afraid of losing ourselves, since we do not really know who we are, but as we acquire EL, because we listen to ourselves while we speak, we really come to know ourselves and each other.

 

In this writing, I am not addressing the reader, who is not the writer, but reader, who is the writer. Due to this writing, the reader can also finally come to and stay with him or herself. This is our Language Enlightenment (LE), which could not be expressed with DL. Once the great difference between EL and DL has been acknowledged, your DL stops, your EL continues and you will, inevitably, realize your LE.                  

 

Three,

 

There are three ways, in which I can consider this writing. I guess, I could come up with many more ways, but, for now, three seems to be enough. The first one, is that you read this quietly, but you don’t really understand what I am talking or writing about. The second one, is that you read it, as I want you to read it, that is, out loud, so that you can hear your own voice and get a sense, that you too, of course, could have life-changing, intelligent and funny Embodied Language (EL), instead of dumb, dull and dangerous Disembodied Language (DL). The third one, is that I imagine, that I am saying this to you. My writing today is about this last one.

 

I’m standing or sitting in front of you and looking you in the eye. You can directly hear me, feel me and experience me, as I ask you calmly, to bring your attention to the sound of my voice, which is very different from everyone else, as I listen to myself while I speak. As you keep listening to my sound, you’ll notice, what I say is something you already know, but usually don’t pay much attention to. I’m not fighting to get your attention, to the contrary, I’m attentive to my own self-expression. I say to you, any kind of speech in which anyone is trying to dominate anyone else isn’t communication. I call it DL, because speakers force, manipulate, hypnotize, violate, distract, overwhelm and abuse the listeners.

 

I always talk about this topic, nobody talks about, because nobody knows how to talk about it. As you can tell, although my emphasis is on the third way of writing, the first and the second are included, as I know very well, if you bother to read any of my texts at all, you probably read it quietly and don’t get much out of it. Against all odds, I still hope you read it out loud, as the real deal is, that I’m talking with you, in the same way that I want to speak. As you read this out loud, you become aware, that you have never read anything like this, because you can recognize, that I am enlightened and since you can  recognize this, it means, you are enlightened too.  

 

Your and my enlightenment are the same and we only really talk with each other, when we can have EL and when that is self-evident. The big surprise is that our enlightenment is hidden in our language. When you pay attention to language, like I do, you are bound to discover your Language Enlightenment (LE) with your EL. Therefore, these words, read out loud by you, are the beginning of your EL. However, although you may get a glimpse of what that would be like, the reality of just reading this text is, I’m not standing or sitting in front of you and you don’t talk with me. Let’s face it, you aren’t even reading out loud and, even if you did, you probably gave up on it already, as you got annoyed listening to yourself.

 

It would be better, if you really talked with me, but these words might still encourage you to do that, because if you would bother, to read them out loud, you would actually really meet yourself. Why don’t you like what you hear? What is so terribly wrong with listening to yourself? You need to answer that question for yourself, not because I tell you to, but because you don’t allow yourself to listen to your  voice while you speak, due to your DL conditioning history. You can deny it all you want, but it is true.

 

If you would accept, that you don’t like to listen to yourself, while your read these words, what would happen? Of course, you would stop reading. You reason, there’s something wrong with this writing. It is too personal, too insistent or too uninteresting. How about the fact, because of your DL, you are not allowed to be personal with yourself, as you are not good enough, not smart enough or worthy enough? There are many things about you, you simply don’t want to know, let alone, hear yourself talk about. In other words, while you pick and choose, you never acknowledge that part of you, which you reject. In EL, this wouldn’t be the case, as it always includes and accepts your so-called shadow or dark side.

 

In EL, you continue listening, even if you don’t like what someone says or how someone speaks and, certainly, this, of course, also applies to speaking with and listening to yourself. In EL, you continue reading, even if you don’t like what you read and you continue being involved with your language, as you find out why, it apparently means nothing to you, that you can speak with and listen to yourself. This verbal meeting with yourself would occur only if it could occur, as the sound of your voice doesn’t lie about these words, which belong to everyone.

 

English language is for anyone who acquires it. It doesn’t belong to me or you. Your opinion about the ownership of language derives from DL. As far as I am concerned, the whole notion of plagiarism is based on the failed, intellectual, cowardly attempt to pretend we have EL. This is especially evident with so-called holy books, which, hilariously, fanatically and superstitiously, are said to be authored by some imaginary higher power. Why would I punish anyone for using the same words as I do, for speaking the same language? This nonsense  idea, that someone, that anyone, can be by himself or by herself, the author of some sentences or some verbal phrases, has perpetuated your DL, which, not accidentally, is everywhere. Coercive speech is the rule, that is why your EL never gets any attention.

 

When we share our LE with our EL and truly talk with each other, we agree, the historical DL verbal dominance is anti-intellectual and catastrophic, as it has always prevented us from connecting with each other and, most importantly, with ourselves. At this  moment, you may hear yourself read about these words of freedom, because they neither belong to some to person, some theory, some group or some country. The so-called freedom of speech couldn’t get us to EL or LE. Surely, it was important, up to the point, where we supposedly agreed to disagree, but that never happened. As long as DL continues, we will be, as we have always been, at war with each other and ourselves. We forever argue about  rights and laws, but our EL and LE takes us beyond what was written. Indeed, our spoken language is and has always been more important than written language, but all we have done, with our insidious,  problematic DL ways, is cover up this obvious basic fact about human relationship and psychology.

 

Even though I discovered my EL and LE some forty years ago, it took me quite some time, to figure out that neither any celebrities, lawyers, psychologists, teachers, therapists, scientists, religionists, philosophers or other authorities are interested in EL. All they can do, with their DL, is distract us from knowing the truth, that our DL has nothing to offer to us and should be stopped, so that we can finally have some EL. While reading this text about EL, you should get the point, there is no point in continuing with DL. Your mean criticism, your violent distrust, your arrogant paranoia, your hungry propaganda and your self-defeating skepticism belong to DL, but this text is not about that. This text is about EL, which, because it was spoken, could be written. You have now read my EL about my LE and you could hear – if you had read it out loud – your own LE, expressed by the sound of your voice. Don’t worry, if you didn’t get it the first time around, just read it a second or third time, to consciously experience the intended effect, which will then stimulate you to explore your LE with your EL on your own. And, yes, we can always talk about it with each other.    

 

Perhaps,

 

This is the best humor you will ever hear, because it is coming from your own mouth, as you read this text out loud and admit, what a moron you are, for engaging in Disembodied Language (DL) every day. Of course, you can continue to cry and complain about it, but you have already done that for so long, so perhaps, it is not such a bad idea, to laugh about your own predicament and see where it takes you? Your refusal to laugh didn’t get you anywhere.

 

What have you got to lose? You may say this or that matters, but are you having any fun yet? Do you hear yourself laugh? Probably not. You believe in matters, which prevent laughter, let’s leave it at that. Letting go of your important priorities, makes you realize, you got it wrong all along. You believed that not laughing had some lofty purpose, but now  you know, your life without laughter really sucks.

 

Did you know that laughter makes you intelligent? It is true and you will find many different solutions to your laughable problems. This writing needs to be read in a different way, than you read your usual writings. Normally, you don’t laugh, but with this writing, you have to laugh, you just can’t help it.

 

No matter what it is that you read, the reader is always expected to do as the writer says. If you get distracted from these words, you are not following my writing. It’s nothing personal, but get with the program. To see, if it is true, that you become more intelligent with laughter, you have to laugh, so try it out and laugh. Reading this writing is meaningless, if you don’t do what I ask you to do. C’mon, laugh.  

 

This writing is meant to transform the reader, just like that, as the reader hears him or herself, while he or she reads and gets a smile, which turns into a laugh. Let’s exclude politicians and clergy for the sake of having a laugh. You can laugh now about all  pretentious, defensive, ludicrous DL, which kept you imprisoned, but, right now, you’re free, not from identifying with your body, but with your language, because your words say so. Yes, these words aren’t mine, they are yours. They say what only you can tell yourself. You know more about laughter than you expected. And, yes, being truthful is very funny.

 

Now that you have EL, you realize that while having DL, you never had your own truth. It is such a joy, to know what only you can know about yourself, to say it and to hear it. Feeling good about yourself isn’t for those, who don’t have any sense of humor. You are so lucky to have passed the laughter-test. You would be feeling really bad, if you didn’t get the joke, as that would mean, you’re missing out on EL.

 

Although it is dumb, tragic, boring, sad and awful, you keep having mechanical DL and keep shooting yourself in the foot, it is perhaps the only way for you to recognize, that DL is a form of self-harm which nobody dares to talk about, as it is just too embarrassing, to fully admit, that we all engage in it, every day. Even when you don’t want to, you still do, because you are unconscious about your use of language, if you can’t laugh about it. It is perfectly okay to laugh and to let that be the beginning of your enlightenment.  

 

There’s no way for anyone to become aware about their Language Enlightenment (LE) with a sour face. No need to apply for laughter, if you still claim to be right, left, knowledgeable, truthful, moral, justified or religious. You know something is wrong with you, if you don’t laugh. Something is missing, you’re incomplete, you’re dissatisfied, you whine and you complain. Supposedly, again it is not what you had wanted, but what do you want? Do you want to be annoyed, worried and stressed? Of course not.

 

Do you want to continue to be burdened with the false image of yourself. I don’t think so, because I don’t think to begin with. You still can laugh. I say what I can say and write and you read it and hear it and acknowledge, that you do the same and that is superb, interesting and delightful. There is nothing to think about or understand about laughter. You now read about the LE, you’ve always been missing, since you’ve never had EL for this long. It will still continue, even after you’ve stopped reading this.

 

Don’t say: it is too good to be true. Say: it is true, because it is funny and simple. You could have done this a long time ago already. Most likely, you did, but you forgot about it, as there was only DL, which kept you psychologically asleep. You can laugh about yourself being foolish and lazy, as you didn’t do what it takes, to have fun. You wanted others to do this for you, but I don’t do anything for anyone. I enjoy myself by writing and speaking like this. I have what I want and I laugh all the way to the bank.               

 

Objective,

 

(I wrote this text below ten years ago, when I used   Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) and Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) to refer to Embodied Language (EL) and Disembodied Language (DL). The only thing I added was the second part of the last sentence. As I reread it, I realized how important this text still is.)

 

In Embodied Language (EL) nothing is copied by anybody, because nobody can be a voice for us and we have to be our own voice. To communicate with our natural, resonant voice, can only occur if we pay attention to how we feel. In Disembodied Language (DL), however, we do not pay attention to how we feel. In DL, we dissociate from how we feel. In DL, there is no experience of how we feel. Moreover, in DL, our knowledge is always out of sync with our experience. In DL, we value knowledge more than experience and subsequently, due to such so-called knowledge, we disconnect from our experience.

 

In DL, third-person, supposedly, objective knowledge is disconnected from our first-person, subjective experience. Due to DL, we persistently over-emphasize the former and, consequently, the latter protests and is causing us to be distracted from the former. In DL, our lack of attention for our emotions causes us to be obsessed with knowledge. Said differently, when our emotions are not and cannot be expressed accurately, our failure to do so  inevitably results in our so-called thinking, which is  problematic, as it prevents us from the experience of talking. DL burdens us with self-defeating ways of reasoning. EL, by contrast, restores and increases our own experience and allows us to use our own  knowledge in ways to enhance talking-experience.

 

The fact that DL can instantaneously disrupt and make EL impossible, teaches us that we either are going to continue with DL or we continue with EL. As it stands, we do not even know the difference between EL and DL, but once this distinction has been made, we notice, that our lack of knowledge regarding this distinction, was the consequence of our lack of experience of this distinction. In other words, our knowledge regarding our way of talking is embedded in our own experience. The distinction between our lack of experience and our lack of knowledge is vital for how we interact. Because of our over-emphasis on our knowledge, our lack of experience is completely overlooked. And, that we only pay lip-service to our experience indicates, we do not recognize its essential function for human relationship.  Each time we that have had EL, it was because it was possible for EL to continue, but we  continue to have more DL, if it remains impossible for EL to occur. Because EL signifies absence of DL and because EL exposes, analyzes and ends DL, DL  continues by making it seem as if EL doesn’t exist. Yet, the stressful, draining impact of DL is always experienced by everyone. Only when we express our stress and hear its sound, will we attain EL.

 

We underestimate the importance of our own experience while we communicate. Because our experience is ignored and because DL is more common to us than EL, we like to believe that our communication will improve, once we come to know more about it. However, no scientific findings have led to any improvement. To the contrary, the more we have come to know, the more difficult it became to maintain hope that knowledge will one day fix our communication. Although nobody believes anymore, knowledge can enhance human relationship, we still push this knowledge-agenda, while we ignore the importance of our experience.

 

Our private experience is made to be unimportant, because it is considered to be subjective. What is supposedly more important is objective knowledge. In our scientific quest for objectivity, we have kept down-playing the simple fact that human beings have subjective experiences, which must have their expression. By making it seem, as if there is one ideal, supposedly objective, way of communicating, we block out and ignore the expression of our subjective experiences. As long as our subjective experiences compete with our so-called objective, scientific knowledge, our subjective experience is discarded by default. Due to the lack of hope or faith in knowledge that can reliably improve our communication, we carry an individual burden. As individuals remain conflicted between their own subjective experiences and the so-called facts, they create their own version of so-called objectivity.

 

So-called choice for what is presumably objective, is unscientific. Objectivity has absolutely nothing to do with what we believe. The heart in a human being’s chest is really there and is not a belief. Likewise, individual experiences are really there, even if this means that someone hears voices. The occurrence of so-called mental illness is based on our ignorance about our own experience. The more we will know about our own subjective experience, the better we will get at preventing mental illness. So-called mental illness represents an individual’s demand for attention for his or her own subjective experience.

 

The idea that the solution for mental illness must come from objective knowledge is false. Any kind of  improvement can only result from the deliberate attempt, by a knowledgeable person, to restore the importance of someone’s subjective experience. However, therapists or psychologists are not the dispensers of the reinforcement. The wonderful self-reinforcing effects of EL are self-evident, as people will begin to trust and express their own experiences. Thus, communicators will become objective about their own subjective experiences in EL and this is their Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

Done,  

 

Let’s face it, although you haven’t even started, you’re done laughing already. Don’t pretend, as if someone else was funny, because you are fooling yourself. There’s nothing to laugh about and that’s the bottom-line. To be clear, the bottom-line, is the line at the very bottom, you can’t get any lower. A former colleague once jokingly said to me: man, I’m feeling so down, if I look up, I can see the bottom.

 

It’s depressing, but also funny, that you can’t laugh. There’s absolutely nothing to laugh about anyone’s depression. Yes, you are totally depressing and, yes, you’re right, I don’t care about your depression, as you want me and others to be depressed with you, but what good is that going to do to anyone? I’m not doing that. I stay away from you, because you even prevented me from laughing about myself.

 

I know the art of laughing on my own behalf, but I  had almost forgotten this profound ability, because of you. I starting feeling down, because you are letting me down. I don’t take any responsibility for your inability to laugh. I’m not like you, I’m not a quitter. It is obvious, why there’s nothing to laugh about for you. Unlike you, I keep talking aloud with myself, until I have found something to laugh about.

 

You must have heard the example, that when you start counting red cars, you suddenly realize how many red cars there are, as they seem to appear everywhere. Well, guess what? When you look for things to laugh about, you’ll find everything funny. I’m not exaggerating, it’s really true. Presumably, you don’t have a funny bone in your body, but I just don’t believe that. What works for me, can work for you too and you can still acquire a sense of humor.

 

Depressed people need humor-treatment, but this is not provided by me or by some therapist, but by themselves. No need to laugh about my jokes, I can do that myself. You must begin to laugh about your dreadfulness. Look deeper. Haven’t you had enough of it yet? The joke is on you, if you admit how rotten it really feels, to be as miserable as you, all the time.

 

Suicide is, of course, also not a laughing matter, but aren’t you having some laughter-ideation, because,  somewhere, not deep down, but just underneath the surface of your superficiality, you just want to get it over with? You’ve got to get under your own skin, to be able to feel better within your own skin.

 

I fully support and highly recommend the honorable hara-kiri of laughing about yourself. Stop killing the joke. Stop playing dead and become a funny person. How about that? Doesn’t that already sound much better? And, you haven’t even done anything yet. Also, you need to stop feeling sorry for depressed people like yourself. Let them have it. Escape, like me and laugh with relief, that you have left them.  

With laughter it is a matter of us-versus-them, but in a good way. You either belong to the group that laughs or to the depressing party-poopers. The choice is yours, I didn’t make it that way. I didn’t prevent you from laughing, but members of your team drag each other down. Although I didn’t  and couldn’t make you laugh, it’s no use blaming me, as you didn’t and couldn’t make yourself laugh either. Why do you expect me or some comedian, to do what you refuse to do yourself? What good does it do, to laugh about others, but not about yourself?  

 

I guess, you never got that joke, that the joke is  always on you. Let me try to explain it for you.  the bottom-line is the punch-line. You’ve got to hit rock bottom and your depression is your motivation for laughter. People with depression are often said to not be motivated. They are believed to be helpless, hopeless and inactive, but nobody ever talks about the hidden motivation, to laugh about that misery.

 

Don’t say that you don’t want to laugh, because you want to and you should want to laugh, how else will you get out of your funk? Haven’t you had enough of it yet? Don’t judge me for not being interested in you. I create my own happiness, with the funny way I use my language, by talking aloud with myself.  

 

You don’t need to talk with me, a therapist or some psychologist, but with yourself. It is so sad, and, yes, it is so terrible, to be you and to acknowledge, that you keep preventing yourself from laughing, but the up-side of it is, that that is the only reason, you feel so lost, listless, lonely, lazy and low. Go ahead, have some more, because I’m not going to prevent you from not laughing. That’s a double-negative, may be you would like to try a triple-negative? Bring it on.  Are you going to prevent yourself from not laughing or are you going to continue to live in this caved-in manner? It is now or never. What is it going to be? Are you finally becoming so bored with your own depression, that it is starting to become funny?   

 

Practice,

 

I have come to the unexpected conclusion, that this writing is the only way, in which you are ever going to find out about Embodied Language (EL). When I first discovered EL, forty years ago, I abhorred the idea of writing about it, as I felt convinced, it could only be acquired by talking about it. At this point of my life, after talking about it and after teaching psychology classes for many years, I want to come at your Disembodied Language (DL) from a different angle, as there is no way my EL and your DL mix.

 

Finding your way to this blog and reading about EL, is the only chance, to begin the practice of listening to yourself while you speak, as there is no one, who writes about EL as I do. I write like this, because you are either going to do it or you don’t. I’m quite sure, that, most likely, you are not going to do as I say. If you do as I say, stop reading, right now, and start again from the beginning, but this time, read it out loud and listen to the sound of your voice. To be able to grasp EL, you have to hear yourself speak.

 

This writing is the bridge to EL, as it presents the opportunity, to not only read about it, but to do it yourself and to know, instantly, that EL is, of course, entirely different from your usual DL. You know you have never, deliberately, spoken like that, because in your habitual way of talking, you don’t listen to your own voice while you speak, as your attention is always either drawn to listening to others or to your own attempts to get others to listen to you. In each case, the other, not you, is the most important.

 

In EL, you are the most important. This has nothing to do with narcissism, self-centeredness or egotism, but with a new way of talking, which only becomes possible, if you actually begin to do it. Although it is absolutely true, in DL, you don’t listen to yourself while you speak, you can now recognize, that you didn’t even know, it is possible to listen to yourself.

 

Your ignorance about EL is your biggest problem and once you begin to tell yourself what it is, all your problems begin to disappear. It is not your fault, that you never bothered about listening to yourself and never had any interest in how you use your language, as DL didn’t and couldn’t allow you to become interested. Your usual way of talking will discard anything, that brings your attention to it.

 

Once you know about EL, you have discovered, your DL can be ended. You didn’t even know this, before you read this text, as you have never heard yourself saying this or felt yourself experiencing this. There is no doubt about it, whatsoever, that when you have EL, your usual DL has ended. Is it happening now, or isn’t it? If it is, you feel victorious and proud, as you have accomplished something, your conditioning history tells you isn’t even possible. The newness of this experience refutes everything you believed in, due to your almost constant involvement in DL.

 

As you read these sentences, you can also wonder about the possibility, why your EL isn’t happening? What does it mean to stop your DL? How do you do that? These words or the so-called guidance from anyone, haven’t helped you at all, to stop DL and to acquire EL and you are still in doubt about how to do it. People have said, that it is good to doubt and to remain skeptical, but to doubt EL, is a bad thing.

 

In EL, you never doubt, and, therefore, if you doubt, you don’t have EL, but DL. Surely, you will perceive things very differently, as continue to have EL, as the newness of your language keeps revealing more and more about your Language Enlightenment (LE), but, the point here is: you never doubt that you are having EL. I write that doubting EL is a bad thing, to let you know, that you are not having EL, but DL.

 

You’ll never have EL, as long as you keep sitting on the fence and don’t give yourself to it completely. To have ongoing EL, you can’t hold back, but your DL-tendency is to hold back. This tendency has to be stopped. Are you stopping it now? You must do it, as no one else can do it for you. I assume, you do it, because you keep reading about what happens next. You already know what it is, but you want to deny that it is happening. You would like this writing to confirm your belief, but that belief has nothing to do with your EL. Without your belief, you don’t know what is happening and to have EL, you don’t know and, yet, you feel perfectly okay, not knowing.  

 

With EL, you no longer predetermine what you are going to say. It emerges by itself, but only if you let it and this writing can allow you to feel encouraged, to do that. This brings us to an important aspect of EL: there is no leader. I am not your leader, but you are not your own leader either. In EL there really is nobody in charge and that’s the beauty of it. You speak without any sense of self or authorship.

 

In your EL, you find to your own big surprise, again and again, that you are free. Your freedom has to do with how you deal with your language, that is, with your EL, you express your LE. This is a fantastic revelation. Yes, you are enlightened and there is nothing to claim or achieve, yet you are full of this magnificent energy and totally aware of yourself.

 

These written words can be read again, if what is described didn’t happen the first time. Perhaps, you need to or want to read them again, but, perhaps you never want to read them again, as you have got it what I was trying to convey. It is also possible, that you want to give your own description of your LE and write your own piece about your EL. I would like to read it, hear you say it and speak with you, no money involved, so you can experience what EL is like. I look forward to talking with you. Send me an email or skype message to set up a time to talk.   

Email: mpeperkamp@sbcglobal.net

Skype: limbicease           

 

Individualism,

 

To me, it has become as clear as day, that Embodied Language (EL) is the language of true individualism and, therefore, of consciousness and humility, but Disembodied Language (DL), is the language of collectivism, sentimentality, superstition, pretense and cowardice. Sadly, the latter is the rule in every society. I write about EL in contrast to DL, so you can get a sense of what EL is. Individualism has taken its foothold in many countries, but it has yet to result in EL. Since it hasn’t done that – and couldn’t do that – there is no clarity of vision, as to where people are going with their so-called freedom. It is as true for Amerika, as for any other country, that escalation of chaos and conflict are the inevitable outcomes of our common way of talking, which has remained unaddressed.

 

Surely, there is false individualism, in which we are trying to have our way, at any cost. Generally, what people do, is to re-enact their punitive conditioning history in an unconscious attempt to understand. Of course, this always goes hand in hand, with the way of talking, which, presumably, we shouldn’t even be talking about. People feel very aggressive, when you point out their DL and will do anything to stop you. It is such a great taboo, to address DL, head on, as  everyone is, unknowingly, involved in it, every day. The divisiveness between left-wing and right-wing politics is explained by the fact, that the members of both views engage in DL, but pretend to have EL.

 

Politics is the inevitable, so-called group-think, that any country gets stuck with, as long as our way of talking hasn’t been properly addressed. Simply stated, DL is coercive speech, in which the speaker dominates the listener. This is the unintelligent way of talking, which is happening everywhere. With EL, however, we cannot force anything on anyone, not even on ourselves, but with DL, we force things on each other, but also on ourselves. When you, at long last, discover the difference between your DL and EL, you will have to admit to yourself, that you were doing many things, you didn’t want to do.

 

People get angry, irritated, distracted, depressed, frustrated, defensive, paranoid and confused all the time, but because of DL, they can’t talk and know about their own emotions. In EL, on the other hand, we express what we experience in the moment and we realize, that in our usual way of talking (DL), we are not allowing ourselves or each other to do that. In other words, the difference between DL and EL, is the fact that we are able to talk about our feelings.

 

Certainly, in the countries, where individualism has become embedded in the culture, a lot of talking about feelings has been going on, but none of all that emotional drama has ever resulted in EL. To the contrary, we have unknowingly become more emotionally manipulative, with our language and this has brought us to where we are today. Today’s fight for safe-space, equity or intersectionality, like the call for law and order or peace and justice, can’t address EL, our subtle way of dealing with language.

 

We’ve got to stop talking with each other, so that we can talk with ourselves. Then, and only then, can we talk with each other, in the same way, as we talk with ourselves. The so-called, golden rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” only applies, if we knew, how to treat ourselves, but as this typical Christian saying illustrates, it is all about the other, but never actually about how we interact with ourselves. Rules as these, are the biggest stand in the way for EL, as they create the impression, we already know about EL, but in reality, we have been conditioned by our common way of talking, by DL, to move and stay away from our own experiences. 

 

Everyone who has read a psychology book, knows that collectivist culture emphasizes the needs and goals of the group as a whole, over the needs and the desires of each individual. In such cultures relationships with other members of the group and the interconnectedness between people play a central role in each person’s identity. What you don’t hear anyone talk about, however, is that people were conditioned to be that way, which means, regardless of what they consider to be their so-called identity, they can become conscious about their conditioning history and want something else. Of course, we can change our identity, but this isn’t accomplished by superficial surgical interventions or by superstitious religious conversions, but by the necessary psychological change in our behavior from DL to EL, from relating to ourselves and each other in an emotionally reactive manner, to relating to ourselves and each other in mature, enlightened, wise, sensitive or rational manner. Also, it should be noted here, that people in collectivistic cultures are considered be good, if they are generous, helpful, dependable, and attentive to the needs of others. This contrasts with individualistic cultures, which often place a great emphasis on characteristics such as assertiveness and independence. However, in both cases, the other plays the central role in who people believe themselves to be, as DL dominates in both individualistic as well as collectivistic cultures.