March 30, 2015
Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer
Dear Reader,
Today it is my mother’s birthday, but I am not in contact
with her anymore. I think of her and wish her well. I have broken off all contact with
my family as I kept feeling negatively affected and wanted it to stop. It has stopped. To my surprise, I am happier without them. The suffering involved in dealing with my family has finally
come to an end. I never thought I would do such a thing, but,
although I have been going back and forth on this issue numerous times, by now I haven’t contacted anybody of my family in
years.
It feels like I am living my own life now. I wasn’t able
to do that when I was still in thinking of them. I hope that they have a similar
experience of relief, but I doubt it. My family wants me to be something which
I am not and blames me for creating problems. I have been struggling with this
for almost 55 years. Only in recent times I feel I'm coming into my own.
I don’t have any hard feelings towards anyone. Also, I
don’t regret that it went the way it did. In fact, I am pleased with where I am
at. Now that I am feeling this way, there is really not much to think about anymore.
This is what was needed for all of us. It has been very difficult, but things
are calm and peaceful now. I sit here and I think with love of my dear mother and father. I don’t miss them anymore
and I accept that we have drifted apart. I wish my mother is not too unhappy
about this, because I know that she is.
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