1998,

 

The year before I emigrated to the United States, was a very busy and exciting year. In 1998, I created Open Communication and facilitated hundreds of workshops and individual sessions for government, profit, and non-profit employees, business owners, teachers, seekers, dancers, police officers, parents, couples, nurses, actors, meditators, psychologists, therapists, persons with mental health problems, public speakers, and other seminar leaders. It was remarkable, to witness that so many people, from such totally different walks of life, agreed on what I then simply described as listening to yourself while you speak.

 

Although I made pretty good money, I remained very dissatisfied with the necessity of having to do presentations, to supposedly, inform people about my service and gain more clients, because word of mouth,  would not have kept me alive. I felt that selling myself was not what I was about. To me, listening while you speak was never a method, but, to my dismay, people kept treating that way. Of course, it was and still is inevitable, that people give and go on with their own interpretations to the new way of talking, Embodied Language (EL), which I have conceptualized. Sadly, for the most part, they simply continue with their automatic Disembodied Language (DL), but in new jacket.

 

Looking back on these early days of exploring and experimenting with what I then called "the language that creates space" – which, here in the US, continued for another year and then, as I got sick and tired of having to promote myself, resulted in studying psychology, working with traumatized, so-called mentally ill patients and teaching psychology at Butte College – I realize, what a long path I have travelled, to get to where I am today. I do not believe anyone must do what I have done, to get where I am. It was a great adventure. I kept adjusting and changing what I was doing. It took me many years to figure out, how stop being busy with others and to focus on and continue with my own EL.

 

Someone in the Netherlands, who had been in one of my workshops back in the days, now supposedly gives seminars in listening to yourself while you speak, but, oddly, she also includes prayer, talking with angels, seeking guidance from spirits, and talking with the dead. Of course, such nonsense has absolutely nothing to do with EL and represents DL, but I guess it sells. This watered-down version of EL pisses me off, as EL is about the importance of our interaction and is more needed than ever. I feel profoundly disappointed in academia, science, and the mental health profession, as I have not met anyone, who had the integrity to show real interest in this quintessential issue. Regardless of their status or level of education, most people merely want to continue with their preconceived ideas and superstition. This is why many immediately interpret EL in some spiritual fashion. I am particularly averse to such religious fabrications, as I was raised in an abusive Catholic family. Each time, I explored my EL with others, I noticed a defensive tendency to compare it with something people already know about. People cannot stand the idea, that we are dealing with something new.

 

Whenever people say what EL makes them think of – whatever they believe to be thinking of, but at that moment talk about – it takes their attention away from EL. Ultimately, their old beliefs take over and always replace it. Although everyone, of course, wants to use EL for their own purpose – to make money, gain control, to be successful, to acquire self-knowledge, to overcome problems, or to attain peace – this always prevents the continuation of EL. As we engage in EL, we realize, it is not in any way what we expect it to be.

 

To stand up for EL, as I believed I was, prevented my own EL. Therefore, I gave up on teaching and preaching about EL. Now, I only enjoy my own EL and only have it with those, who are ready to have it with me. I am not involved in anything else. This is how my EL wants it to be. If others join me, fine, but if they do not, that is fine too. While I care less and less about whether people join me, I might still occasionally feel the irresistible urge, to expose DL for the incredible fraud it is. I happen to enjoy that part much better, than teaching people to have EL. This rebellious, confrontational, humoristic side of me will probably never completely go away, because the happier I am, the more often, even unintentionally, I somehow suddenly bring attention to, not only DL itself, but also to its devastating, predictable consequences.    

 

Our usual way of talking is a total disaster. While we certainly, but unknowingly, hurt each other all the time with our DL, we primarily hurt ourselves. In that sense, you absolutely do not owe anything to me or to anyone else, but you owe it to yourself, to do better, than to be the superior or the inferior person, who you believed yourself to be. I do not tell you to improve yourself by having EL, as EL shows you, you have improved and there is nothing to improve. Moreover, EL illustrates again and again, until you are done with it, that your DL has never really worked for you and has always created more conflict, chaos, failure, and misery in your life.