Rouwkaart,

 

Ik ontving, via email, een overlijdens-bericht van mijn moeder en draag mijn leed alleen.

 

Eigenlijk kan het me geen moer schelen, hoe de anderen van mijn familie zich voelen.

 

Ik weet dat Ma mij mistte, maar kennelijk was dat niet genoeg, om Belichaamde Taal (BT) met mij te hebben. 

 

Mijn BT gaat nu nog rustiger, vrediger, zekerder en stiller verder dan voorheen.

 

Niemand van mijn familie heeft ooit mijn BT erkend en dus heb hen allen achter mij gelaten.

 

Het overlijden van mijn moeder is een laatste mijlpaal, in het afscheid van mijn familie, dat zovele jaren in beslag heeft genomen.

 

Ik weet dat mijn vader nog leeft en ook mijn twee oudere zussen, jongere zus en twee jongere broers, maar mijn familie wil net zo min iets te maken hebben met mij, als ik met hen.

 

Op de kaart stond een uitspraak van mijn moeder: ik heb het gevoel, dat ik niet lang meer heb. Hieruit blijkt, dat zij uiteindelijk zichzelf de aandacht gaf en haar lot accepteerde.

 

Mijn zorgzame moeder had haar handen vol met haar man en haar zes kinderen, maar is daardoor te weinig toegekomen aan zichzelf.

 

De achtergrond van de kaart was een schilderij van een bos, waarschijnlijk een aquarel, die ze had gemaakt toen ze nog kon zien. Ze keek altijd uit naar de lente, waarin zij was geboren, en alles weer tot bloei kwam.

 

In mijn tuin is ook een Gele Brem, die mij aan aan ons huis van vroeger doet herinneren.

 

 

 

 

  

 

Mourning card,

 

I received a death notice from my mother via email and I bear my sorrow alone.

 

Actually, I don't give a damn how the others in my family feel.

 

I know Ma missed me, but apparently that wasn't enough to have Embodied Language (BT) with me.

 

My BT now runs even calmer, more peaceful, more confident and quieter than before.

 

None of my family members ever acknowledged my BT, so I had to leave them all behind.

 

My mother's death is a final milestone in the farewell to my family, that has taken so many years.

 

I know, my father is still alive, as well as my two older sisters, younger sister and two younger brothers, but my family wants no more to do with me, than I do with them.

 

On the card was a statement from my mother: I have the feeling that I don't have much time left. This shows that she ultimately gave herself the attention and accepted her fate.

 

My caring mother had her hands full with her husband and her six children, but as a result she did not have enough time for herself.

 

The background of the card was a painting of a forest, probably a watercolor, that she had made when she could still see. She always looked forward to the spring, when she was born, and everything blossomed again.

 

There is also a Yellow Broom in my garden, which reminds me of our old house.

 

Mediocre Humor,

 

Since you cannot handle real humor anymore, I’ve got some mediocre humor for you. Please, be careful and don’t read too much into it. You can only manage a little bit of laughter. Portion size is important. Putting a damper on it, is the right thing to do. The last thing I would want, is  to burden you, with too much laughter. You are already burdened with so many other things.

 

What others find funny, isn’t funny for you and this requires customized humor, to match your superficiality. Don’t be ashamed for admitting, you have special needs, which can only be met by a sensitive expert, who knows how to avoid stepping on your long toes of your stinking feet. Fortunately, you haven’t caught any disease yet with your foot in your mouth and to keep it that way, it is best, to go on, as if everything is fine.

 

Compliments for your great empathy, for the failed stand-up comedian, who simply had too much on its plate, to yank some phony laughter out of you. Very gracious of you, that in spite of the low quality, you did your part, by making an effort, to produce a sound. It is inconvenient, and asking a lot from you, to laugh, when life is as dreadful as yours, but you pulled it off. Your stupid problems, unexpectedly, have given birth to the minimal fun, which you can appreciate.

 

Finally, there is some understanding: it is the right amount of humor, which is needed. All this commotion about the right kind of humor was beside the point. One shouldn’t try to change something that is working well. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. You needed less, not more laughter. All these overwhelming, screaming idiots, who try to fake it, until they make it, are too much.

 

Your itch for humor never really was that big in the first place and you deserve credit, for your modesty. Apparently, most blunt comedians were scratching you too hard. Actually, you are a less demanding audience then they believed. They wrongly assumed, you wanted to laugh very much. Gas-lighting would-be-humorists are truly the most insidious kind of terrorists.

 

I appreciate, you have such a low threshold for humor, as that gives me a chance to do, what I do best and enjoy doing. Sometimes, there’s a whole in the fence and the sun shines through.  Your uptightness, about any verbal deviation, is like a small ray of light-heartedness. However, it is too little, too late, because you have changed the meaning of words. Everyone who talks with you is up against a wall of words, which can’t be used for humor, because nobody knows what they mean. It’s hard to get your attention, but, truthfully, one moment seems to be enough.

 

There ain’t no use complaining about someone who is always complaining. You can’t help your addiction to criticism. Get your fix and get on with things. A little scolding can be fun and makes you feel better already. I recommend, try having some laughter in my absence. What you need, is do things, only when you feel like it and always on your own terms. Less is better.

 

You don’t need to learn how to laugh, but you need to learn how not to laugh. I’m not making this up. What I claim is based on my objective, scientific observation of your lame response. There is clearly hardly any effect in you, which has anything to do with me. We are dealing with extraneous, laughter-inducing variables, which result in the tendency to laugh too much. Realistically speaking, you are still laughing too often. There is a problem with your inability to inhibit your laughter and your fanatic, but false belief in what is funny, is no longer functioning as the enormous roadblock, it was meant to be.  

 

The data do not support the funny-bone theory. Indeed, it is now a proven fact, that none of the celebrated, overrated, supposedly, concerned comedians have any backbone. It is the blatant production of spineless humor, which got under the skin of obedient people, who were sitting up with their ears pricked for little ha-ha. Jokes have ravished the continent. Also, slouchy and sleezy humor have reared their heads again.       

 

We seem to be getting somewhere. Are you laughing so little, because of me or because of the tape of a laughing audience? We’ve got to get to the very bottom of it. Even the smallest amount of laughter is not a belief. The canned laughter isn’t your laughter, and all the research is backing this up. You’ve been serious about the wrong thing, and we have evidence, which cannot be refuted. When there is absolutely nothing to laugh about, pretending to have fun is the only thing you can do. You keep behaving this way, in spite of what I say. We have solved the ancient audience-expectation-problem by lowering the standard. Now we can go to sleep.    

 

Others,

 

Since I have found one person, who is truly interested in her own Embodied Language (EL) and wants to talk with me about ongoing EL, my interest in others has completely disappeared.

 

It is astonishing to me, nobody is interested in the EL, which I talk about on my videos, on my You Tube channels (maximuspeperkamp-hw8sw and Maximus Peperkamp) and on this blog. We simply cannot be happy with our Disembodied Language (DL). Being ourselves requires EL.  

 

I felt troubled about how I grew up. My wife Bonnie and I decided not to have children, as I wasn’t too sure about myself. I didn’t feel stable enough, to raise a family. However, we stayed together and EL emerged from our relationship.

 

My Chinese American wife and I had met in a therapy group. After I had told her, I wasn’t into having children, for a long time, I continued to feel unworthy, as I was trying to find my true self. Somehow things worked out between us.

 

At some point, because of our arguments and disagreements, it seemed we would split up, but we stayed together. Thus, EL was born, in my early twenties. You could say, EL saved our relationship, which has blossomed ever since.

 

I recently came into my own, at age sixty-five. My Dutch friend AnnaMieke and I talk weekly on Skype, about our discoveries with our EL. It is awesome that we have become enlightened together. Before that, when I was still working, I was still often busy with others. I may still work for another year or two, but in these last couple of months, I have felt so comfortable, because I have nothing to do with others anymore.

 

I am still recovering from the treacherous DL of others, who don’t want to have EL with me. On my own, I always have EL, but, for a long time, I remained preoccupied with others, in the hope, they would join me. I am glad to be where I am today. I don’t care about others anymore, and, sadly, this includes the family I grew up in. I am the oldest son and have two younger brothers and two older sisters and one younger sister.

 

I am still amazed, none of my siblings want to have EL with me. I guess, it is a matter of pride. They don’t want to surrender and be open to their brother, who was always the black sheep of the family. My parents are still alive and live in a senior home, but I haven’t talked with them for many years. I was only able to continue with my EL, after I decided to stop all my attempts to have contact with my family. I never would have believed that I would make such a decision, but I did it and I am happy to be able to say: I don’t regret it.     

 

I used to feel really upset, that nobody wanted to be with me and wondered for years, why this was so, but now I know and accept, nobody is interested in exploring their own EL. Looking back, I realize, I always wanted to have ongoing EL, so that I could be myself and experience my Language Enlightenment (LE), as I do right now.

You can also hear me speak about what I address in this writing on my You Tube Channels 1) Maximus Peperkamp and 2) maximuspeperkamp-hw8sw

 

Uiteraard,

 

Uiteraard is het gezegde, op z’n zachts gezegd, niet hetzelfde, als in het Engels, to say the least. Wanneer wij zachter spreken, omdat wij naar onszelf luisteren en wellicht Belichaamde Taal (BT) gaan hebben – in plaats van schreeuwerige Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) – dan zeggen wij meer, door waarschijnlijk minder te zeggen. Een veel betere vertaling van, op z’n zachts gezegd, is to put it mildly, want met BT spreken wij uiteraard op een kalme, aangename, hartelijke manier.

 

To say the least, past bij onze niets-zeggende OT, want in onze gebruikelijke manier van praten zeggen we, dus uiteraard helemaal niets. OT is uiteraard niet eens een kwestie van weinig of minder zeggen, maar slechts van doen alsof we iets zeggen. Waar het uiteraard op aankomt, in OT, is dat de spreker de luisteraar onder duim weet te houden. Uiteraard, doet hij of zij dit, door de luisteraar allerlei flauwe kul door de strot te duwen. Ja, het is, uiteraard, geen mooi plaatje, indien je gaat beluisteren, wat er in OT gebeurd. Sprekers onderdrukken de luisteraars, die uiteraard nooit aan het woord komen en iedereen vindt dat heel normaal, omdat wij nou eenmaal allemaal zo zijn geconditioneerd.

 

Als men zegt, dat de sanitaire voorzieningen, op z’n zachts gezegd, nogal gedateerd zijn, dan is men in feite confronterend, omdat die oude, lekkende, looie pijpen, uiteraard, hoog nodig, zouden moeten worden vervangen. Hetzelfde is uiteraard het geval met onze onbewuste, starre,  gebruikelijke manier van spreken. Zodra wij het verschil bemerken tussen OT en BT, dan willen wij, uiteraard alleen nog maar BT, want OT heeft ons enorm veel problemen gegeven. Het is, op z’n zachts gezegd, pijnlijk, dat iedereen, over de gehele wereld, dag in dag uit, zonder er erg in te hebben, OT heeft, maar wanneer wij BT gaan hebben, dan kunnen wij er niet langer doekjes om winden, dat OT uiteraard catastrofaal is.  

 

Indien wij van iemand zeggen, dat hij of zij, op  z’n zachts gezegd, een controversieel persoon is, dan zeggen wij, uiteraard, waar het op staat, want wij geven toe, dat hij of zij een omstreden figuur is. En wanneer onze zogenaamde vriend het, op z’n zachts gezegd, laat afweten en niet komt op dagen voor de afspraak die wij hadden, dan is hij of zij uiteraard niet echt een vriend.

 

Wij spreken dan wel, op z’n zacht’s gezegd, over schermutselingen met de politie, tijdens een uit de hand gelopen demonstratie, maar uiteraard hebben we het over steeds vaker voorkomende geweldadigheden, die schijnbaar door iedereen tegenwoordig als normaal worden beschouwd. Men heeft het ook steeds vaker over fascisme en antisemitisme, maar niemand heeft in de gaten, dat dit uiteraard samengaat met OT, onze als normaal-geaccepteerde wijze van spreken.

 

Uiteraard is het de linkse, op z’n zachts gezegd, communistische, vrijheid-van-menings-uiting hatende, anti-Westerse, autocratische politiek, die de overal oplaaiende, anti-Israel mentaliteit en dus de Joden-haat heeft opgehitst. Er valt met deze gefrustreerde, aggressive, fanatieke, opdringerige mensen absoluut niet te praten en ik vermoed, met mijn kennis, van het verschil tussen OT en BT, dat ons nog vele afgrijzelijke, mens-onterende toestanden te wachten staat.

 

Uiteraard zijn wij niet alleen getuige, maar ook actief deelnemer en ongemerkt toestemmer – vanwege onze nog altijd onbesproken gebleven, krampachtige, onintelligente, onbewuste OT – aan de zinloze, verwoestende confrontaties, die zich, vooralsnog, op z’n zachts gezegd, ver van ons bed afspelen. Het is hoog tijd, dat ieder van ons het recht in eigen handen gaat nemen, om het verschil tussen OT en BT te gaan ontdekken.   

 

Zolang als dat wij met OT bezig blijven, doen zich uiteraard allerlei misstanden voor, omdat wij onze taal, op z’n zachts gezegd, verkeerd gebruiken. In OT gaat het uiteraard altijd om het zogenaamde verschil van mening, omdat wij vastgebakken zitten aan allerlei woorden. Ik zag daarnet een lach-wekkende aankondiging van een You Tube video – die ik natuurlijk niet ben gaan zien of beluisteren – van een idiote, snel-pratende, zogenaamde expert, die met een of ander dik zwaar boek stond te zwaaien, want daarin stonden, volgens hem, op de door hem genoemde, uitvergrootte bladzijdes, precies de dingen, die wij allemaal nodig zouden hebben.  

 

Of het nou hebben over het Hindoeisme, Islam, Christendom of Boedhisme, uiteraard is ieder geloof, in essentie, een geloof in het geschreven woord, dat te vinden is een zogenaamd heilig book. De wereld-wijde overwaardering voor leesbare taal, vastgelegd in wetten van allerlei maatschappijen, gaat uiteraard, altijd, hand in hand, met de verarming, verwaarlozing en ontkenning van het belang van gesproken taal.

 

Wat ik hier zeg, daar valt niet om heen te gaan. Uiteraard zou iedereen het volledig met mij mee eens moeten zijn. Wij zouden als rationeel mens moeten erkennen, dat wij volledig de weg zijn kwijtgeraakt vanwege onze OT. Daardoor blijven wij vasthouden aan woorden, waarvan wij ook nog eens fantaseren, dat die woorden in ons zouden zitten. Ook al geloven velen mensen in dezelfde klink-klare onzin, het is uiteraard niet waar, dat er taal in ons hoofd zou zitten.

 

Zodra wij het verschil onderscheiden tussen onze eigen OT en BT, dan willen wij uiteraard met BT verder en vindt er een herwaardering plaats van gesproken taal, omdat wij luisterend spreken. Uiteraard weten wij met BT niet van te voren wat wij gaan zeggen, omdat BT onstaat en dus niet een herhaling is, van de rol, die wij hebben geleerd. Dat laatste is uiteraard een verwijzing naar OT, waarin wij spreken vanuit onze conditionering. Met BT zijn wij nieuw en ervaren wij uiteraard een weldadige energie. Uiteraard doet zich hierbij de ervaring voor van onze Taal Verlichting (TV), die iedere vorm van spiritualiteit of religie belachelijk vindt.                                       

 

Surprised,

 

When you, at long last, begin to notice the enormous difference, between your own Disembodied Language (DL) and your Embodied Language (EL), you will not just be – a little bit –  surprised, but you are going to be absolutely shocked, about the fact, that nobody is talking about this difference. How could something so obvious, so important be completely ignored?

 

You will be surprised, you are, apparently, one in a million people, who is able to experience, again and again, this beautiful phenomenon of your own ongoing EL. It is so easy, soothing, nourishing and interesting, as you not only step out of your history of conditioning with DL, but you also recover from it. As a result of EL, you experience, energy is flowing to you, which was before drained out of you, because of your DL.

 

Although many emotions will be addressed in this process, you are surprised, you will really laugh about your own ignorance, frustration, despair, stupidity, drama, stubbornness, anger, distraction, sadness and inability, to admit, you knew, all along, what you are saying to yourself is true. Moreover, it is very clear, that you have always felt your Language Enlightenment (LE), but didn’t have the EL, to be able to express it.

 

With your ongoing EL, you are surprised to be a real person, the one you have always been, but you could never be, as you never told yourself about yourself, that this is who you are. You are much funnier than you believed yourself to be. You know more than you supposedly thought you knew. Since thinking turns out to be a hoax, you are not busy with it anymore and now, you begin to know things, because you simply say them to yourself.

 

By talking – out loud – alone, with yourself and by listening to the sound of your own voice, you will say and admit many things, which you have always felt, but never paid any attention to, as you were never taking the time, to say them to yourself. You could say them, but you never did. Nothing with EL is as you expected it to be, and this is a great surprise and relief. Although you keep anticipating, that it will be difficult, it isn’t. You discover your simplicity and innocence.

 

When you look in the mirror, while you have EL with yourself, you will not only look surprised, but you will hear surprised. While sometimes, we may say, someone is surprised, to hear what someone else is saying, we seldom, if ever, say to ourselves, we are surprised, to hear what we are saying to ourselves, what we are able to say to ourselves. Hearing we are saying something new, that we can be surprised about ourselves, is such a pleasant and comforting experience, as it means, we are alive and awake.

 

Usually, during our unconscious DL, we are only surprised, for just one brief moment and then, everything, supposedly, is again not surprising anymore. However, during EL, we keep on being surprised, that the new reveals itself to us. This delightful element of surprise and newness is our LE. Initially, when we discover our ability to continue with our EL, it is almost unbelievable, that we can be continuously fresh, aware and new, but as we keep switching back and forth between our DL and EL, we are surprised to find out, our EL is really the gift that keeps on giving.

 

Another surprising element of our EL is, that it is so elegant, calm, mature and balanced, because we say it to ourselves. Yes, we only find our EL, not by talking with others, but by talking with ourselves. Surprisingly, we discover, we can talk with others, in the exact same way, as we talk with ourselves. We want to have EL with others, but there is no one, to have EL with and, this is, surprisingly, what stimulates us, to have EL by ourselves. Once we can have EL with ourselves, we find others, who, like us, can also have EL by themselves. As our EL keeps unfolding, we are surprised about its secretive workings, as each of us is only able to understand, what he or she is ready to say and hear, from him or herself.   

You can also hear me on my two You Tube channels maximuspeperkamp-hw8sw and Maximus Peperkamp 

 

Understanding,

 

When are we going to experience the immense difference between our Disembodied Language (DL) and our Embodied Language (EL)? As long as we still try to understand this difference, we don’t allow our experience of this difference.

 

The whole issue of understanding, is, due to our involvement in Disembodied Language (DL), something that is completely misunderstood.  

 

When someone is saying something, we seem to have problems understanding what he or she is saying, because he or she engages in DL and is not connecting with what he or she is saying.

 

In EL, there is never – absolutely never – any problem understanding any speaker. How can that be? In EL, the speaker is listening to him or herself while he or she speaks. Because of this, he or she is connecting with what he or she is saying.

 

The DL-listener, who proclaims, that he or she is not understanding the EL-speaker, is, of course, also not connecting with this speaker, as he or she, is him or herself not used to connecting with his or her own spoken words.

 

Connecting with what we ourselves say or with what someone else is saying, is not a matter of understanding ourselves or of understanding someone else, who speaks with us.

 

Connecting with ourselves precedes our ability to connect with others – that is, if we do not connect with ourselves, we cannot connect with others – and connecting with each other, paves the way for understanding each other.   

 

Without connecting with ourselves or with each other – as we always do in DL – we never really understand each other, although we pretend, we do, and act, as if we understand each other.   

 

We keep having so many problems with each other, because we don’t connect with ourselves or with each other, but we are good, at acting, as if everything is fine, when, in reality, it is not.

 

As stated, we cannot connect with each other before we connect with ourselves. Likewise, we cannot understand each other, before we can understand ourselves.

 

Everyone – in DL – keeps trying to understand others, which prevents them from connecting with and understanding themselves.

 

Oddly, when finally – due to our experience of our ongoing EL – we stay easily connected with ourselves, understanding follows effortlessly. Moreover, since our EL unequivocally shows us, there never was or is any language inside of us, there is, in fact, nothing to understand in EL.   

 

The so-called understanding, which we were referring to during DL, was always a reference to a nonexistent, by-our-DL-imagined, verbal, inner process. In EL, by contrast, there is no need for understanding, as we know, that there really never was or is any inner language.

 

In EL, the speaker is always in touch with him or herself, and, therefore, he or she is immediately connecting with the listener, who can feel, that there is really nothing to be understood, but there is only something to be experienced.  

 

The boring, demanding, stressful emphasis – in effortful DL – on understanding, has always neglected or rejected our need for connection.

 

Once we – in EL – connect – with ourselves and each other – understanding is not an issue at all. Similarly, in DL, people always make a big deal about listening. It is ad nauseum repeated that understanding is lacking, because we are not listening or paying attention. Supposedly, we need to become better listeners and then there will be more understanding. No matter how hard we try, the DL-speaker is not listening to him or herself. It is the listener, who listens to such an attention-demanding speaker, who provides him or her with the illusion, he or she is being listened to and connected with. Surely, this so-called connection isn’t really happening, as there is no reciprocation, no turn-taking, but only admiration, respect, politeness, looking up, but also, of course, fear, resentment, humiliation and oppression.

 

The aforementioned describes how with our DL, we establish the social hierarchy, which determines, who has the power, who may talk and who is actually allowed to dominate and force others, who are below him or her. Any such a power-trip prevents understanding, as it is antithetical to having a connection. In such a DL case, because there cannot be a connection, all the emphasis is on understanding.

 

In conclusion, all that really matters in DL – our usual way of talking – is that the listener obeys the speaker, who is not the listener. And, yes, if the DL-listener – who is used to DL-speakers – is finally him or herself speaking, then he or she is forcing his or her own “listener”, as he or she is incapable of connecting with him or herself. As a result of this, our so-called understanding of ourselves – in DL – is always about what we unknowingly have forced on ourselves and what we, inadvertently, will force onto others. 

You can also hear me on my two You Tube channels maximuspeperkamp-hw8sw and Maximus Peperkamp