July 31, 2014

July 31, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

Is this author going to speak spontaneously on the audition coming Monday or is he going to write, plan and rehearse the presentation, which maximally may last six minutes? The advantage of the latter is that this author would know exactly what to say, but his preference is for the former is because it feels more comfortable and natural. To prepare and to predetermine communication is not communication, but Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). We keep missing out on Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB), because we speak in a predetermined manner. 

In NVB speakers only sell their message, but they never really communicate. Listeners, who want to be sold on what a speaker says, don’t buy into it if the speaker doesn’t convince them. As long as we are dealing with someone who is trying to prove what they are saying, we are not communicating. Although we behave verbally, in NVB, our speech is a function of negative emotions. In NVB we make it seem as if we communicate, but we use each other as means to our ends. For instance, the speaker wants to be right and the listener only listens to someone he or she believes is right. In NVB, the listener is right, because the speaker is right. That is, listeners buy into the illusion of NVB. 

Why are we so eager to be sold on a feel-good message? Anyone who knows about sales is aware that customers have a need, which supposedly is fulfilled by what is sold. This need is called Establishing Operations in Behaviorism. What is lacking is provided by the sales representatives. When clients buy, their negative feelings go away. This conditioning process is called Negative Reinforcement. Likewise, we take more pills to make headaches go away or keep to the speed limit to avoid getting a speeding ticket. Since most speech is based on selling and buying, NVB is an escape behavior, which increases because it takes us away from the reality. In NVB we dissociate from our negative emotions, but in SVB we are conscious, because we reinforce and increase each other’s positive emotions. We are not and we cannot be sold on SVB, because it is not for sale. Only Positive Reinforcement sets the stage for SVB in which verbalizers and mediators take turns and will listen to themselves while they speak.   

July 30, 2014

July 30, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

This writer is going to try to write one page in less than half an hour. He knows he will be able to succeed if he doesn’t second guess his own ideas. This is an important thing to remember for the upcoming TEDxChico audition he participates in. It doesn’t really matter so much what he is going to say what matters is how he is going to say it. The essence of Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) is how we sound while we speak. In SVB we unanimously agree that we all sound good. In Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) by contrast, we all sound terrible. It is important to know that in SVB we all sound good together, but in NVB we all sound terrible together. We haven’t listened to ourselves enough to acknowledge that this is the case. If we would listen to ourselves while we speak, we would have first-hand experience of our own sound. If we would all do this together, we would all agree that we sound good.  

During NVB we all think that other people are sounding terrible, that others do not communicate correctly or that there is something wrong with the way in which they speak. This process always goes both ways, but because NVB has not been challenged, one person always wins from another or one group always wins over another. In SVB, however, both parties are enhanced by the conversation. 

In SVB, there is a win-win situation, but in NVB, we think there is a win-loose situation, but, when we explore the difference between SVB and NVB, we find that NVB is a loose-loose situation. In other words, in spoken communication there is no win-loose or loose-win situation, there is only win-win or loose-loose. Said differently, we either communicate or we do not communicate.

In SVB we communicate and in NVB we don’t communicate. The fact that we have accepted NVB as our normal way of communicating is a big problem. The reason that we have done that is because we have nothing to compare it with. Although we have all experienced SVB, we can’t contrast NVB with SVB, because we have not had it on an ongoing basis. We have only known SVB in moments, but we have not deliberately, consistently and consciously produced it.  When we begin to do that we will find that previously we were not communicating.

July 29, 2014

July 29, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader,

A great opportunity has arisen for this writer to present Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) for TEDxChico. The committee remembered last year’s application when they read this year’s attempt of this writer to be admitted for the audition. They advised this writer to keep it simple and sweet and are interested in listening to him for six minutes. This writer still hopes for some kind of breakthrough. 

The suggestions made by the TED people immediately annoyed this writer. Who are they to say something like that? They are listening to many others and must decide whether a speaker is good enough to enter into the competition. Time constraints matter a lot to them, but not to this writer. He will say as much as he can and be as brief and meaningful as possible, but he already realizes that this is exactly what sets the stage for Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB).

The reason that we have no SVB is because we don’t take time to communicate. We are almost perpetually in a rush. Our positive emotions slow down the high paced communication process, because they relax us and make us feel safe and at ease. Since we seldom experience that during our spoken communication, we never get into it enough to realize that positive emotions actually make us more efficient and therefore make us much more capable than negative emotions. 

There are many possibilities of spoken communication of which we have no clue because we are conditioned by NVB.  SVB is based on a deliberately chosen set of circumstances, which will guarantee its continuation. Only a few moments of SVB are not enough and end up being problematic because they make us aware how imprisoned we are by NVB. Moments are necessary, but are not sufficient to establish SVB. Only when know how to stop NVB can we continue with our SVB.

This writer is planning and predicting an interaction which is possible because of the arrangements he makes and explains. Although he will be doing most of the talking, the audience will feel that they are part of the conversation because he expresses many common thoughts and feelings. We all know when someone is really listening and we all know what it is like to be understood.

July 28, 2014

July 28, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

A quick note to describe what is going on. This verbalizer stayed up late to read a very interesting paper about the history of behaviorology. He now considers himself a Verbal Behaviorologist, because he agrees with behaviorology. The natural science of human behavior had to come into its own and had to separate itself from main stream psychology. Unlike psychology, behaviorology doesn't subscribe to an imaginary behavior-causing agent, such as a self or psyche. It helps to know that these academic battles for acceptance took place and this writer is happy to he was not involved in this ugly battle. Now that he knows about behaviorology, which is basically an attempt to establish behaviorism as a science in its own right, he feels that his struggle for acceptance is behind him.  

Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) is the spoken communication in which speakers and listeners, better described as verbalizers and mediators, are no longer considering themselves as doers of their actions. In SVB, neither the speaker does the speaking nor the listener does the listening. Speaking and listening are dependent variables, which are a function of environmental independent variables. Moreover, in SVB, there is no distinction between variables inside or outside our skin. In Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB), by contrast, speakers and listeners view themselves as either the speaker or the listener. 

When someone considers him or herself to be a speaker, such a person is not very likely to consider him or herself to be a listener. And, when someone considers him or herself to be a listener, such a person is equally unlikely to view him or herself as a speaker. That is, in NVB, communicators view the speakers as separate from the listeners. In SVB, on the other hand, communicators view themselves and each other as verbalizers as well as mediators. The joining of speaking and listening behavior which occurs in SVB sets the stage for an entirely different conversation. Such a SVB conversation is needed to clarify the important behavioral cusp of speaking and listening simultaneously.  A cusp is a behavioral skill which, once accomplished, leads to increased reinforcement opportunities. When speaking and listening are no synchronized, we engage in NVB, in which opportunities for reinforcement are much smaller than in SVB.  

On his way to work, while driving on the freeway, this writer was thinking out loud about not causing his own behavior. He was trying to explain to himself how it was that he was driving and keeping his car on the road. A lady attracted his attention, who was walking along the highway and talking on her cell phone.

July 27, 2014

July 27, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

After getting up this writer and his wife worked in their front and back yard. It was nice to do this together before the sun was getting to hot. While his wife was watering and trimming the plants this writer hand-rolled the lawn and did cut the edges. When they had first moved in, their neighbor had given them her old-fashioned lawn mower, which still works very well for their small front lawn. She also said we could use her weed-wacker, but this writer prefers the quiet and peaceful job of cutting the edges by hand, with a scissor. Once he was done, he took a broom and swept the grass and cleaned the front porch. 

Yesterday, this writer was home alone, while his wife was out shopping. He was sitting on the couch and reading a paper. From where he was sitting, he had a nice view of the living room, the kitchen and the garden.  A sense of satisfaction and gratitude came over him. He realized how fortunate he was to have this beautiful home. He remembered sitting in the same spot when they first visited this house. At that time the house still had furniture in it belonging to the old lady who used to own the house. They had the walls of the living room painted in a light blue color. This writer is very pleased with this color. 

Although it was said in the news that it was going to be a very warm day, there were many clouds in the sky and it was relatively cool. While taking out the lawn mower from the garage this writer came upon a couple of boxes which contained pictures that were taken by his beloved father in law. This reminded him he had wanted to select some of these pictures to decorate his office. After he had chosen a couple pictures, he noticed that one of the big yellow envelopes in which they were kept, had his name "WAI" on it. Most likely it was his hand writing. This writer will cut out his name and hang this on his wall. Yesterday, when this writer and his wife were having a glass of wine in the study, which has her father’s chair in it, they toasted to him. He died more than two years ago, but their love for this wonderful man has only increased over time. His beneficial influence is still with them and they like to think of him very often.