Love,

 

Talk about love is nonsense without Embodied Language (EL). You can hear it in someone’s voice, if there is love or not. We engage, unknowingly, in Disembodied Language (DL) and, therefore, our language doesn’t match with the experience of love. As long as we go on with DL, we can’t love and keep failing at expressing what should be considered as the most important experience of our lives. Although everyone can hear the great difference between DL and EL, due to DL, we don’t pay close enough attention to the sound of our voice, to recognize the sound of love. 

 

When we have ongoing EL, there is no need at all to say: I love you. Our love is not expressed by loving words, but by our loving sounds. Loving words are meaningless, when spoken with the sound of stress, anxiety, fear, confusion, distraction, sadness or hype. In DL we, unconsciously, sound negative and that is why we try to say, supposedly, loving things.

 

From the previous paragraph, the three main reasons, why we don’t listen to ourselves, when we engage in DL, are very clear. 1) In the name of love, we speak, presumably, loving words, to the loved one. However, due to our outward orientation, we want the other to listen to us, but we are not listening to ourselves. We direct all our attention to the other. This is why people speak about losing themselves in love. Also, we do everything, to get the attention from the person we, supposedly, love. 2) During DL, we struggle to get the listener’s attention. And this struggle prevents us from listening to ourselves. In DL, we are, unknowingly, always experiencing many negative emotions. We struggle to come across in a positive manner, but we are conflicted, between how we perceive ourselves and how the person we love might see us. 3) Although we speak poetic words of love, we are fearful of being rejected. We try to find the right words and are endlessly obsessing about every word that is being said. This verbal fixation prevents us from listening to ourselves. The worst thing is, that we are trying to sound loving. In EL, we don’t try to sound loving, but we sound loving.

 

People become a couple, or they marry, because they love each other. However, in DL everything is always about love for each other, but in EL we are able to talk about love for ourselves. Due to our EL, we love each other, because we actually love ourselves. This is so radically different from the so-called love we believe to be having with our DL. In DL, in which we sound demanding and needy, we don’t love ourselves, as we can’t love ourselves, because our DL doesn’t allow us to express what we really feel. Therefore, in DL, we need others to love us. This may, perhaps, work for a while, but it is unhealthy, if we don’t love ourselves and expect the other to love us.

 

When we talk out loud with ourselves and listen carefully to the sound of our own voice, we will engage, all alone, in ongoing EL, and for the first time, experience the immense beauty of being able to love ourselves, with our own language. Now we are able to give to ourselves, what we always wanted from others. Loving ourselves with our EL, is a delightful matter, which makes us realize our Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

Whenever we have heard or read about some, supposedly, great love affair, it was always some sentimental, overrated, exaggerated, fabricated sob-story, which was, inevitably, based on our ubiquitous DL. With EL, we will not have any love affair, as the person who engages in EL, is able to love him or herself. Surely, such people will be very loving to each other, but their relationship is of a completely different magnitude, because they never interfere with each other. Love only exists in freedom, which comes with our ongoing EL.

 

With DL, we keep entertaining the illusion, that success depends on our intelligence, motivation or persistence, but with EL, all our actions are born out of love. Whatever was achieved with the, presumed, unconditional love or support of others, turns out to be irrelevant to us, once we are able to have EL. Nobody who engaged in DL, has ever helped us to have EL. We had to leave all those people, who we believed loved us. Our journey with our EL illustrates, nobody has ever loved us, like we can love ourselves. With EL, we break the greatest taboo: we love ourselves.

 

Here are my comments on what a few famous people said about love. Osho, formerly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, said… love makes no conditions, no ifs, no buts. Love never says: fulfill these requirements, then I love you. Love is like breathing, when it happens, you are simply love. It does not matter who comes close to you, the sinner or the saint. Whosoever comes close to you starts feeling the vibe of love, is rejoiced. Love is unconditional giving - but only those who are capable of giving who have…As you can tell, Osho doesn’t know about EL, because EL – without which there cannot be any love – definitely has requirements. It is only for those, who listen to themselves, while they speak. Everyone unconsciously engages in DL and when they come close to anyone who has EL, they remain ignorant about their love. Moreover, EL – or love – doesn’t magically happen, but we make it happen, that is, we do it, skillfully, consciously and thus, we know we do it. Furthermore, once we come to find out about the gigantic difference between our DL and EL, we are done with the total bullshit called unconditional giving. In DL, however, we remain busy with giving to others, that is why DL must stop before we can have EL.

 

J. Krishnamurti said…Love comes into being when the mind is naturally quiet, not made quiet, when it sees the false as false and the true as true. When the mind is quiet, then whatever happens is the action of love, it is not the action of knowledge. Knowledge is mere experience and experience is not love. Experience cannot know love…Krishnamurti, like Osho, speaks repeatedly about the mind, but with EL, we know mind never existed, as it was merely the fantasy about inner language that was created and maintained by our DL. In other words, Krishnamurti also doesn’t know about the DL/EL distinction. However, neither our imaginary – covert – inner speech, nor our audible – overt – speech needs quieting. Our DL will only stop, once we have recognized it as such, that is, once we know the difference between our DL and EL. We are never quieting our insensitive, noisy DL. Krishnamurti rails against knowledge, but it isn’t knowledge, which prevents love, but how we deal with language, due to DL, our usual unnatural way of talking. According to Krishnamurti, knowledge is experience and experience is not love, but in EL, there is nothing wrong with our knowledge or with our experience. In fact, knowledge and experience are necessary conditions to be able to have EL.  

 

The Dutch Advaita Vedanta guru, Alexander Smit, had an intense confrontation, in Bombay, India, with his guru, Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, who got incredibly angry with him, because, according to him, Alexander wasn’t serious enough. He screamed and threw the presents Alexander had brought for him on the ground. Presumably, that was when the authority was transmitted. Such nonsense. Back in the days, I went to one of the so-called Satsangs by this Alexander Smit, in which he pulled the exact same shit on me, as his former so-called guru had pulled on him. He got angry with me for the exact same reasons, and I also believed, I had become self-realized. However, looking back on my own experience, as well as the experience, which Smit himself later described with Nisargadatta, it is very clear, that all this non-duality bullshit, is based on coercion and manipulation and, therefore, on DL. After that confrontation with Nisargadatta, Alexander wrote him a long letter of apology and then he was allowed back in. He wrote very obediently, slavishly and ignorantly, to the overpowering, authoritarian, absolutely stupid, Nisargadatta: I want to be here in love. Astonishingly, this was all I could find Smit has ever said about love. Surely, EL is not about convincing or confronting. Anyone who knows about the difference between DL and EL, will avoid oppressive DL, because our DL and EL never meet. At the time, that I met Smit, I was still struggling with my own authority issues with father. It was due to my EL, that I figured out, I could give to myself, what neither my father nor Smit could give to me. There’s no love in Advaita Vedanta, all you get is people imitating each other.

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