May 17, 2016

May 17, 2016

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

I am profoundly affected by reading the papers of my students and that results into this writing. The feedback they give to me instructs me to focus more on what they are writing about. When I read about their apprehension about listening to themselves while they speak out loud when they are alone, I am reminded of everything I have myself gone through. From each paper it is clear to what extent elements of Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) or Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) were part of the student’s behavioral history. It is also fascinating to read that the presence of NVB and the absence of SVB set the stage for a more thorough exploration of the SVB/NVB distinction. Although there are only a few students who report a history with a lot of SVB and little NVB, those who do report more SVB than NVB often do so without realizing that they are referring to NVB, while they think they are writing about SVB. Of course, these concepts are still new and if they would explore them often, they would acknowledge that they were painting a rosy picture of themselves and their family. I experience such students as distancing themselves from me, while those who rejoice in their discovery of SVB and who acknowledge the ubiquity of NVB come closer. This is not imagination. Students who make it seem as if they have SVB can’t wait to get out of my class. Although they did not come any closer, I am convinced a foundation has been laid upon which they can be build and that SVB will be more possible for them in the future. I also witnessed their development during the course of the semester and I noticed that they are more at ease, more social, less stressed, less oppositional, less anxious or pretentious. Although they kept a distance, I have noticed many moments in which they enjoyed positive emotions and togetherness. Their presence stimulates my ability to communicate the great contrast between SVB and NVB. They were validated and praised for their contribution. Undeniably, each of us has a different behavioral history. In this history we can find the causes for why we behave the way we do now.

May 16, 2016

May 16, 2016

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for you to spend time alone so that you can talk out loud by yourself. Just say whatever you are thinking and feeling and listen to the sound of your voice and don’t do anything else. Unless that experiment is done, your response rate of Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) cannot increase. The reason that SVB is easier to be achieved and maintained when we are alone is because there is less distraction. Something good could come from being rejected and abandoned if it leads to talking out loud with ourselves. Although public speech naturally recedes into our private speech, we can bring out this private speech again into public speech by ourselves. As this is often not supported, this leads to separation between public speech and private speech. This is characteristic for Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). During NVB there is no connection between our public speech and our private speech and one contradicts and excludes the other. During SVB, by contrast, there is congruence between what we think to ourselves privately and what we say to others publicly. Due to this split, due to exposure to and involvement in NVB, we feel awkward about listening to ourselves when we speak out loud by ourselves when we are alone. To the extent that there was no support for bringing out our private speech into our public speech, we think it is insane to talk out loud and to listen to ourselves. These judgements about talking with ourselves and listening to ourselves while we speak will subside, when we tune into the sound of our wellbeing.  This can’t happen if we remain anxious, but by being alone the chances that we will relax into this are much bigger than when we remain together. Even with the best of good intentions others usually don’t stimulate us to listen to ourselves so that we actually begin to hear ourselves. We were conditioned to focus our attention on others, but not on ourselves. We were conditioned to listen to others, but not to ourselves. SVB teaches us to listen to ourselves. Moreover, SVB teaches us that self-listening makes other-listening possible.  

May 15, 2016

May 15, 2016

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

The Spring Semester is coming to an end and I am delighted to read the many beautiful papers my students have written.  During the seventeen weeks that have passed I have explained and revisited the Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB)/Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) distinction many times. All my students understand it, relate to it and write about it. One Extra Credit Assignment starts with the sentence “When I listen to the sound of my voice while I speak then…..” I am moved and fascinated by what my students are telling me. Their papers are the proof that SVB and NVB are real phenomena and that this distinction, once explained, becomes meaningful to everyone. Even students, who hardly say anything during class, who otherwise are very reserved, pour their hearts out in this paper. It is so rewarding to read the accumulative effects of a semester of teaching and to know that my students value exploring this topic. One common theme is that SVB is easier achieved alone than with others. It is like that when one first learns about it. As they experiment with it more often, it will become easier to have SVB with others. Ultimately, that is what SVB is for, but as this is only their introduction to it, they acknowledge that unless one knows and explores how to have SVB by oneself, one is incapable of having it with others. This self-experimentation transforms the way they view themselves and their relationships with others. Their writings make me realize how important this self-experimentation is. If I had not dared to experiment the way I did, I would have never discovered it. My history was such that I kept experimenting with it because there was nothing else I was good at. Nobody has explained SVB to me and I figured it out on my own. Students often write they have never listened to themselves. Another recurring theme is the acknowledgement of feelings of shame that we have when we recognize that our public speech and our private speech is mainly consisting of NVB. Along with this develops an awareness that NVB is very common and that unless we reinforce SVB ourselves, nobody else will.

May 14, 2016

May 14, 2016

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

My life is as I am describing in this writing. I have relationships with people who are on left side of the political spectrum, but I also have relationships with people who are on the far right. According to me, people on the left and the right have equal amounts of Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) and Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB). This may come as a surprise. Probably you would like to hear that people of your orientation have more SVB than others. We all have such high levels of NVB and such low levels of SVB because we think it has to do with our political view. However, the SVB/NVB distinction will completely change how we view ourselves and each other. We will actively change our society once our SVB experiences begin to increase, because the hierarchical structure that was based on our NVB is no longer maintained. The freedom so many have dreamed about will become a reality, because we will have come to terms with our history of NVB. When we know what NVB is, we are no longer trying to change it. When we only give attention to our child when it is misbehaving, we are reinforcing acting-out behavior. When we reinforce the behavior which we would like to see or hear, this behavior will become more prominent. In essence, because we keep reinforcing NVB, we keep reinforcing a whole slew of bad behavior. The good behaviors which will improve this world cannot come about with NVB. We must have SVB to be able to stimulate these good behaviors and as long as we don’t produce SVB, we will, even with the best of intentions, reinforce the wrong behaviors. Politics is only one of the many ways in which we alienate ourselves from our environment, from others. All ways in which we dissociate from our reality are maintained by NVB. It is because we are repetitive and predetermined in our interactions that we are so mechanical and unconscious. During SVB we will say and hear new things. We will enjoy our conversation and want more of it. We will appreciate and mutually benefit from our different behavioral histories.  Our struggles will have meaning because they have led us to SVB.