December 9, 2014

December 9, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader, 

It is no coincidence why, generally speaking, Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) happens at a much higher rate than Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB). As with any problem behavior, NVB serves a purpose. NVB occurs so frequently, lasts so long and is so difficult to deal with, because it represents men’s unfulfilled needs for attention, understanding, validation and acceptance. To the extent that our needs are properly expressed and met, we will see a decrease in NVB and an increase in SVB. The ubiquity of NVB signifies how bad we are at communicating and getting our needs met. Everybody wants to avoid failure, pain, and discomfort. Yet, NVB signifies we are not doing a good job at that. 

SVB is a different form than NVB. It sounds and it looks different. SVB is the replacement behavior for NVB, which is the problem behavior, but which is functionally similar to SVB. In SVB and NVB communicators attempt to get the same thing, but only in the former do they get it, in the latter they can’t obtain it. It can be compared to making music on a piano. The person who is not very skilled at playing, is bound to make noise, but only someone who knows how to play can make music. Few people learn how to play piano well enough to play classical music, but many attempt to play it, but stop practicing, because it is too frustrating. They get stuck in their particular way of playing and because their style gets the attention, they continue with that style. This is how different styles (e.g. boogie woogie or jazz) were created. Similarly, NVB gets the attention and is reinforced and since it is easier than SVB, it occurs at a higher rate. 

From this we can see that SVB and NVB are both maintained by our environment. However, even though NVB is going on everywhere, it doesn’t and can’t get us what we want. Although we would like to get with NVB the same thing as with SVB, although they are functionally not different, we obtain with SVB something different than with NVB. Similarly, we will obtain with rock music an entirely different effect than with classical music. Dismissal of this effect makes the least refined behavior become dominant, while acknowledgement of this effect will make us more appreciative of refined behavior. It is interesting to note here that in the United States there is very little interest in classical music, while styles such as jazz, blues, country and hard rock thrive. The distinction between SVB and NVB is also apparent in how comedy is done. In Holland SVB is much more part of comedy than in the US, where it is mainly NVB and just a lost of screaming and cussing.