March 2, 2014

March 2, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

The reader who reads this may praise himself or herself lucky for having found something that is worth reading. Without knowing it he or she may have read all sorts of stuff that didn’t contribute to anything human relationship. When I say contribute, I am not just talking about one behavior. Three behaviors are important and have to be developed in the right proportion: approach, escape and avoidance. The interaction between these three determines everything. 

You may not believe it, but suit yourself. When we want something, we must approach it. There is no other way. I f we get what we want, approaching is no problem or, if it comes with problems, it is worth our while. We approach things to get what we want. Whether it is food, amusement, people, opportunity or silence, we go to it or try to find our way to it. When we get what we want we feel reinforced and enhanced. However, this does NOT mean that we develop the kind of behaviors which maintain happy and healthy relationships. Most of our behaviors, although they are learned and reinforced, don’t lead to positive social outcomes.

That we can readily get what we want is not necessarily enhancing. We believe it is enriching and this thinking is enhanced by those who think the same way as we do. I don’t think like that at all, because my thinking is not that much influenced by people who think the same way as I do. Stated differently, there are not that many people who think like me. Those who do, at best only think a little like I do, but never a whole lot. Most of the time when people think that they think the same way, they don’t really think the same way, they only believe that they think the same way