October 9, 2016

October 9, 2016 

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

Usually what we think to ourselves is not what we say to each other. That part of us which we believe is making us speak is seldom the same as that part which we believe is making us listen. Our way of talking is such that the speaker and the listener are perceived as two entirely different entities. When speaking and listening behavior happen at different rates we are in conflict with ourselves and with others.

When a person listens to him or herself, while he or she speaks, it is evident to that the person the person who listens is the same as the person who speaks. There is no speaker inside of us who causes us to speak and there is no listener inside of us who causes us to listen. These fictitious entities only exist due to our common way of talking.

During Noxious Verbal Behavior the listener who is not the speaker is disconnected from the speaker. The NVB speaker speaks at, but not with the listener. By contrast, in Sound Verbal Behavior, the speaker speaks with and takes turns with the listener. There is a connection between the two, in spite of the fact that they are separate entities.

During SVB the speaking and listening behaviors remain joined, in other words, each speaker listens to him or herself while he or she speaks. In NVB, by contrast, there is no turn-taking between the speaker and the listener, consequently, only the speaker talks and since he or she is not listening to him or herself, he or she is talking at the listener. In NVB, separation of the speaker and listener in public speech sets the stage for the separation of the speaker and the listener in private speech.  

Our belief in an inner agent, which causes us to behave in any particular way is stimulated and maintained by our NVB. The “I” who wants to say something is as non-existent as the “I” who says something. Surely, speaking and listening behavior occur, but just as there is no walker, no eater and no swimmer, there is no speaker and there is no listener.

We experience that our behavior isn’t caused by an inner entity called a self only SVB. During NVB, we may be able to admit that this is true, but yet we don’t experience it. Although the experience that there is no self which is causing our behavior is different from the knowledge that there is no self, one will effortlessly lead to the other in SVB.

Correct understanding of the causation of behavior will release energy that can then be used to identify and promote positive behaviors. Our high rates of NVB prevent us from agreeing on what are positive and what are negative behaviors. NVB justifies negative behaviors, but we can only acknowledge this if we engage in SVB. If we agree what are negative and positive behaviors we know what needs to be decreased and increased. Currently, due to our NVB, we increase many negative behaviors, but we keep failing to increase our positive behaviors.

Even if we have some agreement about what constitutes negative or positive behavior we often fail to decrease the latter and increase the former as we don’t view these behaviors as stimulated and maintained by environmental variables. While we overemphasize problems which need to be solved, we punish the behaviors which need to be decreased.

The only proper procedure for enhancing behavior is reinforcement. Behaviors which we would like to increase don’t miraculously appear; they require reinforcement which must be provided by other human beings. Another problem with our belief in a behavior-controlling self is that we overemphasize the importance of punishment and forget to reinforce the positive behaviors which we would like to increase.