September 22, 2016

September 22, 2016

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

We have failed to acknowledge the distinction between Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) and Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) as we are ashamed, hurt and humiliated by the fact that NVB is not communication, but domination, exploitation, intimidation, retaliation and coercion.  

No matter how much we talk, we are alone. However, NVB makes it seem as if we can avoid aloneness by being together. Although SVB brings us together, in SVB we enjoy being alone. SVB maintains our togetherness as it allows us to be alone and to leave each other alone. 

SVB maintains our aloneness. The tenacity of NVB signifies our fear of being alone. In SVB we can come to terms with the facts of life we have been postponing with NVB; in SVB we stop kicking and screaming. We can leave each other alone as we are at ease with our aloneness. 

In NVB we constantly disturb each other. As we dread our aloneness by ourselves more than our aloneness with others, we seek each other’s company to escape our aloneness. Yet, we can’t escape from the reality and we have to come to terms with the fact that NVB creates conflict. 

As long as we haven’t come to terms with NVB, we will create turmoil in our own lives and in the lives of others. All our relationship problems are maintained by the way in which we talk, or, more precisely, by how we sound. In NVB we sound forceful and our aggression makes us forget that we can only live our own life, which is going to end soon. 

In the same way we can’t escape death, we can’t escape our life. NVB makes it seem as if life is short and meaningless, but SVB creates new meaning even in the worst of circumstances. As we demand attention in NVB we remain immature, but with SVB we grow up and keep learning.