October 19, 2016

October 19, 2016 

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Engineer

Dear Reader,

Whether you believe me or not, there are only two ways of talking: Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) and Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). You haven’t noticed this difference as nobody has pointed it out. And, even if it had occurred, it hasn’t happened often enough to be changed by it.

You will appreciate SVB more than NVB and you will engage in SVB more often than in NVB when you have been exposed to the SVB/NVB distinction often enough. From my students and clients I hear and read how wonderful it is when they begin to have more SVB and less NVB.

You may think it is normal to have such high rates of NVB and such low rates of SVB, but, as a teacher and as a therapist, I can tell you how detrimental this state of affairs is. Your high rate of NVB signifies relationship problems. High rate of SVB is necessary for a happy life.

Without focusing on how you talk with others you are unable to solve your problems. How you talk with others and how others talk with you determines how you talk with yourself. Your negative private speech is an inevitable result of the conversations you have had with others.

All the stress, frustration, anger, anxiety and fear, which you wrongly consider to be your way of thinking is merely a response product of how others have talked with you. You would have other thoughts if you engaged in a different conversation. SVB is a different conversation!