Geboorteplaats,

 

Terwijl ik dit schrijf, wacht ik tot mijn kom met thee is afgekoeld. Als ik dan die heerlijke, caffeine-vrije warme, zoethout-thee heb opgedronken, dan ga ik lekker vroeg naar bed. Ik ben al behoorlijk moe, want het was een koude, donkere dag, waarin ik nog steeds aan het bijkomen was, van de enorme plotselinge huilbui, die ik gisteren had.

 

Ofschoon ik zelf niet op aan social media doe, heeft Bonnie, mijn vrouw, een tablet, met Facebook, waar ze eigenlijk zelden of nooit naar kijkt. Af en toe, volg ik daarop het nieuws, van wat er in onze omgeving gebeurt en lees ik soms ook wel eens over wat er in Holland aan de hand is. Gisteren stuitte ik op allerlei informatie over mijn geboorteplaats Denhaag, waar ik opgroeide in de wijk Vrederust.  

 

Ik kon ineens niet stoppen met kijken, naar tal van ontroerende fotos, van families met kinderen, uit de zestiger en zeventiger jaren, die mensen, die daar ook vroeger hadden gewoond, hadden geplaatsd. Men reageerde meestal heel aangenaam op elkaars fotos en herinneringen en beaamde hoe fijn het was, om daar te zijn opgegroeid, ofschoon de buurt wel enorm achteruit was gegaan.

 

Mijn oude buurt, ook wel Denhaag Zuid-West werd genoemd, was eigenlijk een heel speciale wijk, die, vlak na het beindigen van die afgrijzelijke vijf jaar durende Tweede Wereld oorlog, letterlijk uit de grond werd gestampt. Na de bevrijding van de Nazies, brak een hoopvolle tijd van wederopbouw en samenhorigheid aan. Aangezien er grote woningsnood was, slaagde men er in korte tijd in, om te voorzien in de behoefte aan betaaldbare, eensgezins huur-woningen.  

 

Blokken met huizen met balkonnetjes en tamelijk grote ramen, met portieken, die drie of vier hoog waren, werden afgewisseld met galerijen en lage rijtjes huizen, met eigen kleine tuintjes. Alles was zodanig opgezet, dat iedereen gebruik maakte van de gemeenschappelijke achtertuinen en er was een groenvoorziening met geurige rozen en bloeiende struiken. Iedere buurt had zijn eigen naam en winkel centrum, waar veelal kleine ondernemers hun zaak hadden. Zo hadden wij binnen loopbereik een schoenenwinkel, slagerij, kruidenier, drogist, bakkerij, patat en ijs winkel en bloemen zaak en iets verder, een fietsenwinkel, een speelgoedwinkel en een kapper. Deze sociale woningbouw bood volop ruimte voor tal van gemeenschappelijke activiteiten, kerken, scholen, padvinderij, speeltuinen en sportclubs. Ik realiseer me nu, hoe aangenaam en veilig het was, om daar op te kunnen groeien.

 

Inmiddels doet met er van alles aan om mijn ouwe, verpauperde buurt weer nieuw leven in te blazen, maar veel werd er al afgebroken en vervangen door nieuwe woningen. Schijnbaar is waar ik vroeger heb gewoond en gespeeld, een trekpleister geworden voor het armere, oudere en werkeloze deel van de bevolking, met tweede en derde generaties, van veel die uit andere landen naar Nederland zijn gekomen. Toendertijd was er nog een homogene bevolking, waarin iedereen werkte en een gezin en modaal inkomen had. Er waren toen nog maar nauwelijks autos en in mijn familie, liepen wij overal naar toe, reden wij met onze fietsen of gingen wij met bus of tram, indien nodig. Er waren nog volop lege weilanden en plantsoenen, waar, iedere dag, tal van kinderen speelden. Ja, zo groeide ik op. Ineens werd ik overvallen door verdriet en nostalgie, naar wat eigenlijk een heel gelukkige jeugd was, die nu – ik ben vijfenzestig – heel ver achter me ligt.

 

Aangezien mijn Katholieke ouders, vier, en later nog een vijfde, en een zesde kind hadden, kwamen zij in aanmerking voor een vierkamer rijtjeshuis, waar het touwtje uit de brievenbusklep in de deur hing en je zo, als kind naar binnen kon. Toen ik zo al die fotos allemaal bekeek, besefde ik, dat wij eigenlijk, in grote lijnen, op precies dezelfde manier leefden, als een heleboel andere mensen, in die tijd. Ik ben daar zo dankbaar voor. Ondanks pijnlijke herinneringen, was ik een enorme geluksvogel, om daar zo mijn eerste levens jaren door te hebben mogen maken.

 

Mijn intense verdriet was vanwege een verlate Kerst kaart, die ik van mijn lieve oude moeder mocht ontvangen, die door mijn behulpzame zus was geschreven. Ze zei, dat het niet goed ging met haar en met Pa. Ze is blind en helemaal invalide vanwege de osteopose, maar ze luistert gelukkig nog wel naar mooie muziek. Ik weet, uit eerdere sporadische berichten, dat mijn ouders, in iedere geval, gelukkig bij elkaar in hetzelfde verzorgings tehuis wonen, maar ze zijn beiden, zogezegd, aan het einde van hun Latijn.

 

Ik heb al vele jaren geen of nauwelijks contact meer met hen – en ben sinds mijn emigratie naar de Verenigde Staten in 1999 nooit meer teruggekeerd naar Nederland – omdat ik met Belichaamde Taal (BT) verder ging en omdat zij of mijn andere familie leden, daar klaarblijkelijk geen enkele interesse in hadden. Ik wilde het zo graag met hen delen, maar het ging niet. Mijn twee broers en drie zussen lieten het afweten en iedere keer als ik weer probeerde, om met hen om te gaan, voelde ik mij opnieuw getraumatiseerd en veroordeeld, over wat er vroeger allemaal was gebeurd, maar waar nooit echt – met BT – over werd gesproken en belandde ik onwillekeurig weer in de Ontlichaamde Taal (OT).

 

Op een gegeven moment, puur uit zelf-behoud, ben ik de boot gaan afhouden en liet ik nooit meer van me horen. Ik had het nooit zo gewild en geloofde lange tijd niet eens, dat ik daartoe in staat zou zijn, maar ik zag mij genoodzaakt, om dat te doen. Mijn eigen familie af te wijzen, was en is nog steeds iets, waar ik nooit echt overheen heb kunnen komen.

 

Mijn grote verdriet heeft eveneens te maken met het aan mezelf erkennen, dat het mij niet is gelukt, om met mijn familie op goede voet te zijn. Ik koos ervoor, om liever geen contact te hebben, dan om mij over te geven aan hoe zij het wilden. Ik wilde en ik wil nog steeds op mijn manier verder en voel van hen – omdat ik altijd het probleem leek te zijn – geen enkel respect voor mijn manier van leven.  

 

Met het ontvangen van die droevige, lieve kaart van mijn moeder, die zegt, heel vaak aan mij te denken, voel ik toch ook weer iets van een verwijt: waar ben je nou, je hebt ons laten stikken. Ik weet, dat ik hen in de steek heb gelaten en ik huilde ook, om mezelf te kunnen vergeven, omdat ik nou eenmaal wil wat ik wil en dat dat echt helemaal okay is.

 

Vroeger, toen ik – voordat ik, vanwege mijn gecompliceerde, aan de ene kant, gelukkige, maar, aan de andere kant, ook zeer pijnlijke familie verleden – voor de zoveelste keer in mijn oude schaamte, verongelijktheid en verdriet schoot, dan was het altijd alsof de hele wereld voor mij instortte en ik helemaal van voren af aan moest beginnen, met het opnieuw opbouwen van mezelf. Gelukkig is het dit keer anders.

 

Ofschoon ik zonder meer een emotionele uitbarsting had, voelde ik mij niet alsof alles weer in duigen was gevallen. Integendeel, ik huilde eigenlijk, omdat ik heel goed wist, wat ik gedaan heb, waarom ik het gedaan heb – dat ik met Bonnie besloot om geen kinderen te hebben – en dat ik door zal gaan met wat ik doe, omdat ik dat zo wil. Waarschijnlijk heeft het met mijn eigen ouderdom te maken, dat ik eindelijk het grote schuldgevoel, dat ik gefaald zou hebben, als oudste zoon, als broer, als oom, maar ook als persoon, die eigenlijk over alles met iedereen had willen praten, maar die weet, dat het nooit anders zal zijn, zoals het is met zijn familie.

 

Ik had natuurlijk lange tijd toch nog de hoop, dat er iets zou gebeuren, maar ik heb mezelf daarmee te kort gedaan, door dit te blijven hopen. Het heeft ook vele jaren lang geduurd, voordat ik echt kon geloven, dat ik BT had en dat iedereen, en dus niet alleen mijn eigen familie, ongemerkt met OT verder blijft stumperen. Mijn motivatie komt ook uit een gevoel van verantwoordelijkheid, dat ik als oudste zoon heb en het feit dat ik iedereen zoveel last heb bezorgd met mijn onaangepastte en eigenzinnige gedrag. Ik vergeef mezelf nu eindelijk, dat ik gewoon ben wie ik ben en dat ik in mijn volste recht sta, om met mijn levenswijze verder te gaan, ook al willen zij dat niet. Ik voel me bevrijd van een last, die ik schijnbaar nog steeds met mij had meegedragen.           

 

In mijn geboorteplaats, daar was een plek, waar ik graag kwam. Er waren daar aardig wat bomen, waar ik gemakkelijk in kon klimmen en vanwaaruit ik alle huizen kon zien. Als kind, moest ik thuiskomen, om te eten, zodra de lantaren palen aangingen. Het was eigenlijk al tijd om naar huis te gaan, maar ik zat daar zo lekker, op die tak. Ineens, hoorde ik een merel zingen en begon ik te huilen, omdat het zo mooi klonk en ik de eeuwigheid leek te ervaren. Ik strekte me uit op die tak en ik lag daar zo stil en het was net alsof ik in een heerlijk bed lag. Het was een eerste realizatie, van wat ik mijn Taal Verlichting (TV) noem, die ik hier met mijn BT beschrijf.   

 Voortzetting,

 

Mijn incidentele gevoelens van droefheid, over het feit dat eigenlijk niemand geïnteresseerd is in Belichaamde Taal (BT), duidt op de voortzetting ervan. Ik zou niet verder kunnen met mijn BT, als ik niet af en toe dit diepe gevoel van verdriet zou ervaren, omdat ik nou eenmaal weet wat mogelijk is, maar wat alleen gebeurt voor mij en de weinige mensen met wie ik mijn leven echt deel.

 

Elke keer als ik huil – wat vroeger vaak gebeurde, maar dat steeds minder is geworden, naarmate ik ouder werd – zijn mijn tranen als een ontmoeting met een oude vriend. Het is omdat ik zo diep ontroerd kan zijn, dat ik de voortzetting van mijn BT ervaar, wat zodoende mijn Taal Verlichting (TV) is. Hoewel ik mijn BT en TV vele jaren geleden heb ontdekt, leer ik er nog steeds mee te leven. Ondanks de moeilijkheden die het voortzetten van mijn BT met zich meebrengt, ben ik dankbaar dat ik mijn eigen uitdagingen en problemen heb.

 

Een van de belangrijkste redenen waarom mensen niet bereid zijn, om de mogelijkheid van hun eigen BT en TV te overwegen, is dat de voortzetting van hun BT volledig van hen zelf afhangt. Hoewel we BT met anderen kunnen hebben en hoewel dit iets buitengewoon moois is, kan niemand ons helpen om BT te hebben. Bovendien moeten we heel veel achterlaten, om onze BT te kunnen voortzetten. De continuatie van onze BT impliceert dat we onze Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) en alles en iedereen die daarmee geassocieerd is, definitief achter ons laten.

 

De voortzetting van onze BT is een vrijwillige, natuurlijke, moeiteloze daad, die een groot bewustzijn, gevoeligheid, verantwoordelijkheid, eerlijkheid, doorzettingsvermogen, liefde en geduld vereist. Onze OT daarentegen is een onvrijwillige, krampachtige, energieverslindende, onnatuurlijke handeling, waarbij we geen voeling meer hebben met onze eigen ervaring. Hoewel we al van OT naar BT zouden kunnen overschakelen, is onze lange conditionerings geschiedenis met OT zo krachtig, dat de voortzetting van onze BT op elk moment en door wat dan ook kan worden belemmerd. Ik schaam me hier absoluut niet voor, omdat ik heel goed weet dat er nergens ondersteuning is voor mijn BT en ik ook gewoon maar een mens ben, met zijn beperkingen en zijn gevoeligheden.

 

Zelfs na al die jaren dat ik van mijn BT heb genoten, ervaar ik nog steeds momenten zoals deze, waarin ik er niets aan kan doen, dat ik de trieste realiteit ervaar van de voortzetting van mijn eigen OT. Maar, ik weet dat ik, net als iedereen, getraumatiseerd ben door mijn betrokkenheid bij OT. Het valt niet te ontkennen, dat alleen mijn tranen dit gevoel van kwetsbaarheid kunnen uiten en eigenlijk voel ik me heel goed, dat ik er nogmaals over kan huilen. Er schuilt zo’n schoonheid in mijn verdriet, die niet tegen mensen of zelfs tegen mezelf is gericht. Ik huil alleen omdat mijn leven nou eenmaal is zoals het is.

 

Toen ik voor het eerst ontdekte, dat ik BT kon hebben in plaats van OT, werd ik er elke keer weer enorm verdrietig van, hoe vaak ik weer terugviel in mijn OT. Ik bleef heen en weer schakelen tussen OT en BT en telkens wanneer ik het geluk weer had, om de voortzetting van mijn BT te ervaren, leek het alsof ik mijn OT volledig was vergeten. Iedere keer dat ik weer terugviel in mijn oude gewoonte, om weer OT te hebben, had ik het gevoel dat ik was neergestort, maar deze keer voelt het als een zachte landing. Zeker, mijn episodes van OT werden zowel korter als schaarser, terwijl de voortzetting van mijn BT, bijna ongemerkt, alsmaar langer duurde.

 

De voortzetting en de viering van 

mijn TV met mijn BT, was voor

 mij inmiddels zo gewoon

 geworden, dat je zou kunnen

 zeggen dat ik de belichaming 

was geworden van Prometheus,

 die al het menselijke streven 

en de zoektocht naar

 wetenschappelijke waarheid 

en kennis ging vertegenwoordigen. 

Ik overdrijf echter niet en

ik wil nog steeds verder met

 BT, want ik ga alweer verder

 mijn BT, waar het mij ook 

naartoe zal nemen. Ik ga 

verder, voor zover ik kan,

 hoewel ik me, op een dag als

 vandaag, verlies in 

een gevoel van melancholie

 en verdriet. Deze gevolgen 

zijn niet onbedoeld of onbekend, 

want ik weet goed, dat ik mijn

 familie heb achtergelaten en 

zelf geen gezin heb gesticht, 

omdat ikzelf dus echt belangrijker

 ben dan wat of wie dan ook. 

Ik heb gedaan wat ik deed en 

ik doe nog steeds wat ik doe, 

om de voortzetting van mijn 

BT mogelijk te maken. Ik zeg

 niet dat anderen zouden moeten

 doen, wat ik heb gedaan, 

maar ze zouden zeer zeker 

eveneens alles moeten doen, 

wat door hen nodig is en gedaan 

moet worden, om de voortzetting

 van hun eigen BT veilig te stellen.

 

Continuation,

 

My occasional feelings of sadness, about the fact that basically nobody is interested in Embodied Language (EL), signifies its continuation. I wouldn’t be able to continue with EL, if I didn’t periodically experience this profound sense of sorrow, because I know what is possible, but what only happens for me and the few people, I really share my life with.

 

Whenever I cry - which used to be often, but which has become less and less, as I got older - my tears are like meeting with an old friend. It is because I can be so deeply moved, that I experience the continuation of my EL, which is my Language Enlightenment (LE). Although I discovered my EL and LE many years ago, I am still learning how to live with it. In spite of the difficulty, which comes with the continuation of my EL, I feel grateful about having my own challenges.

 

One of the main reasons, why people aren’t willing to consider the possibility of their own EL and LE, is that the continuation of their EL depends entirely on them. Although we can have EL with others and although this is something exquisitely beautiful, no one can help us to have EL. Moreover, we have to leave behind a lot, in order to be able to have EL. The continuation of our EL, implies we permanently leave behind our Disembodied Language (DL) and everything and everyone that is associated with it.

 

The continuation of our EL is a voluntary, natural, effortless act, which requires great awareness, sensitivity, responsibility, honesty, persistence, love and patience. Our DL, by contrast, is an involuntary, forceful, energy-draining unnatural act, in which we are out of touch with our own experience. While we can switch from DL to EL, our conditioning history with DL is so powerful, that the continuation of our EL can be impaired at any moment, by anything. I feel absolutely no shame about this, as I know very well that there is no support anywhere for my EL.

 

Even after all these years, that I have enjoyed my EL, I still experience moments like this, in which I can’t help, but feel the sad reality of the continuation of my own DL. However, I know, very well, I am, like everyone else, traumatized by my involvement in DL. It is undeniable, that only my tears can express this sense of vulnerability and, actually, I feel really good I am able to cry about it. There is such beauty in my sadness, which isn’t addressed at people or even at myself. I just cry, because my life is as it is.

 

When I first discovered, I could have EL, instead of DL, it saddened me greatly, how often I was again falling back into my DL. I kept going back and forth between DL and EL and whenever I was fortunate enough to experience the continuation of my EL, it seemed as if I had completely forgotten about my DL. Yet, each time I regressed into my old habit of having DL again, I felt I had crashed, but this time, it feels like a soft landing. Surely, my episodes of DL, became shorter and scarcer, but the continuation of my EL lasted longer and longer.

 

The continuation and celebration of my LE with my EL had become so common for me, that you could say, I had become the embodiment of Prometheus, who came to represent all human striving and the quest for scientific knowledge. However, I am not over-reaching and I still want to – and I am going to – take my EL even further, as far as I can, although on a day like today, I feel this sense of melancholy and loss. These consequences are not unintended, as I know very well, I have left behind my family and I didn’t create a family, because I am truly more important than anyone or anything. I have done what I did, and I do what I do, to make the continuation of my EL possible. I am not saying that others would have to do what I did, but they surely would have to do whatever needs to be done, by them, to secure the continuation of their EL.        

 Election,

 

There is never going to be an election, in which we will vote in favor of Embodied Language (EL) and against Disembodied Language (DL), because the difference between these two, makes all of politics look stupid. When we have EL, we are done with pushing this or that familiar narrative, to, supposedly, please the base of our party. Besides, in EL, it becomes clear, the issue of representation is complete nonsense. I can not be the voice for someone else and it has been a disaster, so many have believed in this.  

 

I don’t have EL, to get your vote or your agreement, but I have it, because it is simply how I like to talk. I don’t seek power with my language, because my EL is the expression of my Language Enlightenment (LE). Everyone can talk as I do – and engage in EL – yet, almost nobody does, because they don’t want to admit, that they are basically full of shit, as long as they continue with their insidious DL. I don’t care whether you ruin your own life or the lives of those you talk with, but I refuse to talk with you or listen to you, as I rather talk out loud alone with myself.

 

Although you still don’t know about the difference between your own DL and your own EL, you have  your own false, political, distracting belief about what DL or EL is. However, everything that is of real importance is taking a back seat, because DL is the language of politics. Instead of feeling happy and fortunate, that you, as a free individual, could have EL, instead of DL, you believe, that democracy is going to be in line with your nasty way of talking.  

 

Anyone who is, as we say, running for election, is always, supposedly, running against someone else, but anyone who knows EL, knows that anyone with  DL, is always running, competing and struggling with themselves. If you would stop fighting with yourself and being your own worst enemy, you would have EL and lose interest in politics. EL will not make you famous, as it is not about winning the competition for the attention of an audience of voters. Surely, it will cost you the election and even your so-called career, as you don’t care about climbing the ladder.

 

Speaking about the upcoming election, I don’t see what all the fuzz is all about. The whole country is abuzz, now that someone with DL is running against someone else with DL. Everyone knows, the election is between this narrative or that narrative, so we all know, that we are constantly hearing and listening to and, also repeating to everyone we speak with, the same rehearsed, boring lines. This is so dumb, because with EL, we would be able to say something new. Yes, the country is divided, because of our DL.  

 

With every election, there will be some fool, who with bombastic, pretentious, obvious bluster, will claim to unite us, who will solve all our divisiveness and who will promise, that things are going to get better. Although one political narrative, presumably, is better than the other, we never engage in EL, but only in the assumption of EL. DL is the promotion of what can best be called election-distraction, since each party virtue-signals, only they are having EL. It is politics as usual – DL – which distracts us from EL.   

 

Today, one candidate announced, he was no longer  running for election. It was interesting, because in his speech, in which he told his followers, why he was stepping down, you could hear, he was, in fact, trying to have some EL, but, of course, he is so used to and impaired by his political ambitions, that he started sounding really soppy. However, this is the inevitable experience of coming down from our high horse of DL, where we always make all these claims, which, when we calm down, turn out to be foolish.

 

Also, I read about another political maniac, who had recently been forced to give up his post, because he was caught lying so outrageously, that his narrative burst at the seams. This needy, painful and troubled character was literally begging for another chance. He clearly seemed to believe, that by talking about his mother, beating him with a stick for what he had done, one election cycle would be enough for people to forget about his deceitful demeanor. Another politician surprised his base, by changing his narrative, in a failed attempt to be truthful about who he is, as a depressed, unhappy person. These examples show, that even hard-core politicians need to change from over-the-top DL, to calm, honest EL.

 

When someone has won the election, that is, when someone has acquired the power, which they were after, they usually give an election or victory speech. Everyone is hanging on the lips of these empowered leaders, who, interestingly, may feel so comfortable with all the attention, which they are getting, that they get kind of drunk on their own words. This is especially the case with preachers, teachers, actors, writers, media-personalities, athletes, but also with all sorts of other leaders and so-called authorities. Actually, they may even have some EL, although it isn’t acquired consciously, but automatically, due to being treated as someone, who is very important.   

 

The rigging of the election is part of every election, as each party, each candidate, does whatever they can to win. The end justifies the means, and this is why they say politics is a blood-sport. Supposedly, it is a brutal competition, but, of course, it has nothing to do, with how people always communicate, when they are not competing and when they are actually really working together. Moreover, EL or genuine interaction, is never a competition. When we are not adversarial, in any way, we will have effortless EL. It is only with EL, that we become immune to the election-distraction, because our EL is exciting and interesting, as it reveals our LE, but DL strikes us as draining, outdated and unintelligent.              

 

Fulfilment,  

 

When you, unconsciously, speak the empty words of your Disembodied Language (DL), your meaningless expressions predictably have bad consequences, but when I speak, consciously, joyfully, truthfully, with my Embodied Language (EL) about the emptiness of my Language Enlightenment (LE), I am flooded with bliss. Anyone who dares to experience with me, the fulfilment of the empty space of their own LE, will do whatever it takes, to have it. They adjust their language, stop their own DL, so they can have EL.

 

Our fulfilment, that is, our LE, can only be expressed by our EL. With DL, we can’t express our satisfaction and, therefore, even if we, miraculously, experience some wellbeing, our use of language destroys it. This is why people don’t talk about their peaceful feelings, because such feelings come to an end, the moment they open their mouth. However, it has nothing to do with language as such, but with the difference between DL and EL. The more we speak with our EL about our happiness, the better things get, but everything beautiful is ruined by our DL.

 

The word fulfilment, is superficially used in a variety of contexts, but never with regard to our own use of  language. If we would use our language, in the way that we really want to and would take the time, to figure out how our own language-fulfilment actually works, we would do ourselves a big favor, but we don’t do that and that is why we seek fulfilment in all sorts of other ways, except in our language. In effect, DL endlessly distracts us from EL. The notion that use of language, in and of itself, can be fulfilling is alien to us. Nevertheless, once we recognize the difference between our DL and our EL, our effortless  ongoing EL illustrates our LE, which is our fulfilment.

 

Nothing else, than our own language, EL, is needed to find our truth, our happiness, our fulfilment. You can just start talking out loud with yourself and you can hear and recognize in the sound of your voice, that you are unhappy, worried, stressed, drained, angry, dissatisfied, confused or troubled. Of course, you can let yourself know, that you don’t want this, but that doesn’t help. You can endlessly run away from what you really feel about your life, but when you listen to the sound of your voice, you no longer do that. By listening to your own negative vibration, you realize, you don’t want this and then, it stops.

 

After your DL was stopped, because you accept, you want something else, you can let yourself know how you would like to sound. It is very clear, you don’t like your own voice, when talk with yourself about your problems and you don’t even want to listen to it. If you keep talking, you can’t miss the moment, in which you begin to sound better. You can hear it and you can allow yourself, to continue with your EL. You don’t do anything else, but listen to your own sound and, suddenly, your fulfilment or LE begins to speak.

 

As long as you are not busy with your own language, you cannot and will not find fulfilment. Yes, you can chase the dragon and go after all sorts of nonsense, but it will not bring you, it cannot bring you, where only your EL can bring you. Actually, your EL doesn’t bring you anywhere, as it makes you aware about being in the here and now. Moreover, fulfilment or LE is about the joy of knowing, there is no mind, no thought, as there never was any language inside of you. This emptiness is just unfolding with your EL. I used to call EL, the Language Which Creates Space.

 

Your fulfilment has nothing to do with destiny and once you give yourself permission, to continue with your EL, you realize, you didn’t have EL, because you were afraid to be without any purpose. This is your great fortune, that you can experience how your EL flows by itself and you go with your EL wherever it goes. Your fulfilment of continuing with EL becomes deeper and deeper and it is amazing, that your LE is really made possible, by only being busy with your EL, which is your own, unique, comforting language.

 

What I write here on my blog, has nothing to do with any prophesy. Prophet comes from the ancient Greek word pro-phetes, an interpreter, spokesman, harbringer or proclaimer. Pro, means, before, hence, in front and phetes, from phanai, to speak, tell, say. Propheteia, is the gift of interpreting the will of the gods. Also, pheme is a speaking, speech, utterance, voice, phone, sound, tone, pronounciation. There is no god, there is only you and you speak for yourself. In your EL there is immediate fulfilment, because you speak about your own experience in an accurate manner, with the sound, which you always like to listen to.                               

 

Distraction,

 

Only a few lines are needed, to create the optical illusion, that you are looking at a landscape, where, seemingly, bigger objects are close by and smaller objects are in the distance. You are looking a flat, two-dimensional surface of a piece of paper, but even in the most primitive paintings – in which, probably, for childish reasons, objects are out of proportion – a sense of perspective is evoked. While you know, you look at something, which has only two dimensions (length and breadth), you are distracted into believing, you are looking at three dimensions (length, breadth and depth). A similar illusion occurs with our language, but, the illusion, that is created by our usual Disembodied Language (DL), is what we call thinking, thought or our mind.

 

Gestalt is a school of psychology and a theory of perception, which emphasizes the processing (thinking?) of entire patterns and configurations and not merely individual components. We say the whole is bigger than the sum of its parts. Perhaps, you have seen, the black and white picture of two white faces, but if you look at the black space, in the middle, you see a cup. Either you perceive these two faces, or you see the cup and your perception flips back and forth, because it isn’t clear, which one is the most important. Of course, your conditioning history determines, if you prefer one or the other. My point is, that our conditioning is a distraction, which makes us see things, in this or in that way.     

 

You haven’t been able to look at the bigger picture and attend to the great difference between your DL and your Embodied Language (EL), because there is just too much distraction going on. Presumably, all sorts of other things, are more important and the illusion of your thinking, could never become clear to you. What you imagine, you are doing, while you are, supposedly, thinking, has nothing to do with silent inward seeing or with your ridiculous fantasy about being conscious, but with the inevitable consequences of how you have used your language. These consequences would change, if you had EL.

 

When you switch from DL to EL, you know, that you have finally stopped your own distraction from your own language. You so-called thinking or your mind, was maintained by your DL, therefore, language was your biggest distraction from what was important to you. Surely, in DL, you don’t listen to yourself, while you speak, but in EL, you listen to your own voice. In EL, you produce a very different sound than in DL, because you speak with a voice you enjoy and like to listen to. You know, in EL, that you speak with your own voice, but in DL, you mechanically, habitually, involuntarily speak with a voice which isn’t yours. In DL, because you don’t listen to the sound of your own voice, you believe, that you are thinking. Once you switch from DL to EL, you find, all your so-called thinking effortlessly stops, because you correctly perceive your language, as happening outside of you, instead of, incorrectly, inside of you.

 

Like everyone else, you seek to be distracted from your so-called thoughts, because, at a physiological level, your body has always known, your words and sentences do not and could not occur within it. You go for a walk, to supposedly, clear your head, but if there is relief from your self-imposed make-believe, it is always because, by walking, you brought back again your attention – which was all over the place – to your body. Of course, if you would do this, with your own EL, the effect will be much greater and more beneficial, than if you only went for a walk.

 

When you calmly say, out loud, to yourself, what you want to say and what you are capable of saying, about what is – according to you – going on with you, you take charge of your language. With your EL, you will experience an immediate, effortless, transformational distraction from your presumably, dark, confused, chaotic, fearful, meaningless, energy-draining mind. Suddenly, you feel full of energy, lighter than a feather and unburdened. Of course, although you have made the switch, from DL to EL, your conditioning history with DL will still continue, so you still, occasionally, believe that you are thinking, but each time you hear yourself say, what you, supposedly, think, it disappears, just like that. Thus, each time you are able to continue with EL, you realize your Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

Since nobody talks – alone, with themselves – about the great difference between DL and EL, everyone, unknowingly, engages in DL. You could say, DL is the language of distraction, because we continuously yank each other around with our language and we accept this as normal, as business as usual, when in fact, this is a gigantic problem. When we are finally able to look at politics, religion, amusement, books, newspapers, social media, movies and advertising from our newly acquired EL-perspective, we realize, these are important, due to our need for distraction.

 

When we are not merely having a brief moment of much-needed distraction from your depressive, dull, fucked-up, manipulative, automatic, unintelligent, forceful, repetitive, humorless, deceitful, disgusting  DL, with our EL, but when we are actually capable of continuing with it, we cannot miss the obvious fact, that we do not think, although, with DL, we were conditioned by and used to a way of talking about thought, as if our thought was true. Our common way of talking, which sets the stage of how we deal with our language, is a distraction from ourselves. This is not an optical, but auditory illusion, as we are enthralled with dominating speakers, who engage in DL and who with the sound of their voice pretend to be strong, certain, knowledgeable, in control, calm, friendly, certain, open, funny, relaxed or truthful. In DL, people just act as if, but they are not authentic.

 

Since we don’t acknowledge the difference between DL and EL, we have no idea at all about the extent to which our common way of talking, which is DL, is a constant distraction. Going back to the possibility of optical illusions and seeing things, perspectives, which aren’t really there, with our EL – by talking with ourselves and listening to ourselves – we begin to pay attention to things, we have been told and have heard. By listening to ourselves and by bringing our language in touch with our voice, we realize that thought doesn’t exist, as our language is overt, that is, we say it and hear it and we read it and write it.  Unless we talk out loud with ourselves and listen to ourselves, we remain enthralled, with what we have been told and we dismiss what we say to ourselves and thus, with EL, we step out of our conditioning history with DL. Even if it may seem, as if we still think, each time we let ourselves know, we were only temporarily overtaken again by our DL, which is our common distraction, our mind quickly dissolves.      

 

Tabula Rasa,

 

The foundational principle of empiricism, is the philosophical notion, that individuals are born empty of any build in mental content and that all knowledge comes from later perceptions or sensory experiences. This is known as tabula rasa or blank slate. I would say, we are not only born in that way, but we also live and we die that way, as there is no such thing, as language inside of us. The Latin term tabula rasa, comes from the Roman tabula, a wax-covered tablet used for notes, which was blanked, rasa, by heating the wax and then smoothing it.

 

Later, in English, it became blank slate or rather erased slate, which refers to the emptiness of a slate, prior to it being written on with chalk. Both the tabula rasa or the blank slate may be renewed repeatedly, by melting the wax of the tablet, or by erasing the chalk on the slate. A stylus, is a sharp tool, to write in the wax, which became chalk on a blackboard. With my Embodied Language (EL), the Latin vocalis –  sounding, sonorous, speaking, vox, voice – is my stylus, with which I create my reality.

 

When you read this writing, you must admit – even if you are almost dead and have wasted your entire life, like Chomsky, on the absurd lie, that language is innate and thus occurs inside of you – these written words are not inside of you, but they are, on this page, in front of you. Therefore, with EL, you’ll find out, that you do not think, but you write, so that you can read, what you have written, and, before you write, you speak, so that you can hear what you have said. I insist, your language is always outside of you, while the sensory experience of who you are, is inside your body. EL is the correct use of language, in which your words are always only outside of you.

 

I have a little, plastic, white board, on which I used to write something new every day, with a sharpy. It hangs on my wall, with a small poem, that stayed…

 

I erase

To put new words in place

This is how I make my case

 

In Disembodied Language (DL), you cannot really talk or write about what you exactly experience and, consequently, you imagine, as if language happens, by itself, inside of you and that this is your so-called chattering mind. This falsehood dissolves, the moment you switch from DL to EL. Such a change is brought about by speaking out loud with yourself about your own experience – whatever it may be – and by listening to your voice while you speak. This simple exercise will put you back in the driving seat of your language. Basically, being in charge of your own language, which is, of course, your EL – but not your DL – is your Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

The idiotic nature versus nurture debate, of course, takes on a completely different form, if it takes place with natural, peaceful, relaxed EL, rather than – as it has always done – with forceful, pretentious, boring DL. Actually, with our EL, there wouldn’t even be any debate anymore, as we would just talk sensibly with each other, about the extent to which all our behavior is hard-wired and genetically determined – which is nature – or if it is the effect of environmental conditions of development – which is nurture. If you had not read these words, which I have written on this blog, you would never be able to consider the difference between your DL and your EL and you would find the irrefutable fact, that language is, of course, overt, that is, in the environment, extreme.  

 

With our joyful EL, it is clear to us, that zealous, political nativists, like Chomsky – who, like so many religiously-blinded, arrogant persons, in spite of all the evidence, stubbornly, unscientifically, continue to believe, that concepts, mental capacities and mental structures are innate, rather than acquired by learning – are the extreme ones and not those, who, like me, have stated, there is no thinking going on inside of us, no covert language, and, no inner behavior-causing self. I salute all behaviorists and behaviorologists, who have claimed this all along, but who, like everyone else, also only engage in DL.

 

I recognize, we are biologically determined, and I don’t see any reason, why we shouldn’t extend this determinism to all our behavior. Yes, our behavior is determined by environmental stimuli and if we miss out on verbal stimuli, in early development, we will never be able to learn, what could only have been learned, if our brain had been stimulated properly. I believe that our usual way of talking and sounding with language – DL – is why a lot of people, me included, are on the autism spectrum. In retrospect, I am sure, I have only learned from, I have only been able to listen to, people who had what I now call EL.

 

Of course, my genetic endowment made it possible, to learn what I have learned, but my psychological traits, aspects of my personality, my knowledge, my wisdom, my social and my emotional behavior, were not, were not – yes, you read it twice – imprinted by my environment onto my so-called mind – like the stylus would write on the tabula rasa – but it first had an effect on how I came to listen and speak and, then, later, on how I learned to write and read.  I grew up in the Netherlands, therefore, I learned Dutch and my language – and not some imaginary, non-existing mind – was, obviously effected by my environment. The tabula rasa makes it very clear, that these written words are here, outside of you.

 

Did you know the locomotion of cats is very unique? Their gait is always balanced and in a straight line, right-front/left-back forward and left-front/left-back forward. They did research on kittens being exposed to environments, which consisted only of horizontal or straight lines and they found that cats, who were raised in environments with only horizontal stripes, they grew up, to become blind to vertical lines and  constantly bumped into the legs of chairs, whereas cats that were raised in environments, where they only saw vertical lines, they became blind to seeing horizontal lines and they couldn’t jump on the seat. Obviously, nobody would consider these horizontal or vertical lines to be inside the kitten’s head.

 

As I already stated, how can we begin to accurately determine, which influence is nature and which one is nurture, if we don’t even realize, that we will bias our results with our DL? Since we have never even acknowledged the difference between DL and EL, we engage in DL by default, and, consequently, we are inclined to be biased towards dispositional over situational influences. Surely, we are genetically determined, but we are not born with innate mental content, because there never was, there never is and there never will be language in our brain. All language is outside of our body or, as we say, in the environment, that is, we can say it, hear it, write it or read it. Therefore, we are tabula rasa, before and after we have spoken, listened, written or read, but also, while we speak, listen, write or read. This is our LE.