Continuation,

 

My occasional feelings of sadness, about the fact that basically nobody is interested in Embodied Language (EL), signifies its continuation. I wouldn’t be able to continue with EL, if I didn’t periodically experience this profound sense of sorrow, because I know what is possible, but what only happens for me and the few people, I really share my life with.

 

Whenever I cry - which used to be often, but which has become less and less, as I got older - my tears are like meeting with an old friend. It is because I can be so deeply moved, that I experience the continuation of my EL, which is my Language Enlightenment (LE). Although I discovered my EL and LE many years ago, I am still learning how to live with it. In spite of the difficulty, which comes with the continuation of my EL, I feel grateful about having my own challenges.

 

One of the main reasons, why people aren’t willing to consider the possibility of their own EL and LE, is that the continuation of their EL depends entirely on them. Although we can have EL with others and although this is something exquisitely beautiful, no one can help us to have EL. Moreover, we have to leave behind a lot, in order to be able to have EL. The continuation of our EL, implies we permanently leave behind our Disembodied Language (DL) and everything and everyone that is associated with it.

 

The continuation of our EL is a voluntary, natural, effortless act, which requires great awareness, sensitivity, responsibility, honesty, persistence, love and patience. Our DL, by contrast, is an involuntary, forceful, energy-draining unnatural act, in which we are out of touch with our own experience. While we can switch from DL to EL, our conditioning history with DL is so powerful, that the continuation of our EL can be impaired at any moment, by anything. I feel absolutely no shame about this, as I know very well that there is no support anywhere for my EL.

 

Even after all these years, that I have enjoyed my EL, I still experience moments like this, in which I can’t help, but feel the sad reality of the continuation of my own DL. However, I know, very well, I am, like everyone else, traumatized by my involvement in DL. It is undeniable, that only my tears can express this sense of vulnerability and, actually, I feel really good I am able to cry about it. There is such beauty in my sadness, which isn’t addressed at people or even at myself. I just cry, because my life is as it is.

 

When I first discovered, I could have EL, instead of DL, it saddened me greatly, how often I was again falling back into my DL. I kept going back and forth between DL and EL and whenever I was fortunate enough to experience the continuation of my EL, it seemed as if I had completely forgotten about my DL. Yet, each time I regressed into my old habit of having DL again, I felt I had crashed, but this time, it feels like a soft landing. Surely, my episodes of DL, became shorter and scarcer, but the continuation of my EL lasted longer and longer.

 

The continuation and celebration of my LE with my EL had become so common for me, that you could say, I had become the embodiment of Prometheus, who came to represent all human striving and the quest for scientific knowledge. However, I am not over-reaching and I still want to – and I am going to – take my EL even further, as far as I can, although on a day like today, I feel this sense of melancholy and loss. These consequences are not unintended, as I know very well, I have left behind my family and I didn’t create a family, because I am truly more important than anyone or anything. I have done what I did, and I do what I do, to make the continuation of my EL possible. I am not saying that others would have to do what I did, but they surely would have to do whatever needs to be done, by them, to secure the continuation of their EL.