Gezegd,

 

Het is nog nooit eerder zo gezegd – althans, ik heb het nog nooit gehoord – maar het is natuurlijk zo, dat we nog maar zo weinig lachen, omdat we steeds  dommer en met onze woorden, incompetenter zijn geworden. Waarschijnlijk zal er wel weer iemand zijn, die hier weer aanstoot aan neemt, feit blijft, dat dit het lachen niet bevordert, maar tegenhoudt.

 

Laat het maar eens eindelijk gezegd zijn, al dat oeverloze gezanik, is veel te serieus. Ook al heeft iemand helemaal gelijk, het is en blijft een onaangenaam geklaag, waar niemand iets mee opschiet. Het echte lachen schijnt met de noorder-zon te zijn vertrokken, sinds de techno-religie is gaan bepalen, dat teksten ook communiceren zou zijn. Het lijkt zo, maar het is niet zo. Het ontbreken van humor, valt, welbeschouwd, niemand meer op, die opgroeide met I-phones, Face-book, Instagram, etc. We doen dan wel, heel af en toe, een beetje, alsof we nog wat lachen, maar iedereen weet, dat lachen zogezegd eigenlijk iets uit de oude doos is.

 

Eerlijk gezegd, de enige manier, om ons opnieuw aan het lachen te krijgen, is door iemand aan het woord te laten, die zich nog kan herinneren van vroeger – of  liefst natuurlijk, vanuit een recente ervaring – hoe het was om te lachen. Iemand die goed gezegd weet waar hij of zij het over heeft. Dit is iets heel anders, dan aan iemand uitleggen, die de grap niet snapt of die niet goed heeft geluisterd, want dat draait nooit ergens op uit. Het ophalen van de lach-herinnering, is van het allergrootste belang, om het lachen weer nieuw leven in te blazen.

 

Voor iemand, die zich het lachen nog als de dag van gisteren kan herinneren, is het is beslist niet teveel gezegd, om die herinnering zoveel mogelijk op te halen en te koesteren. Zonder dergelijke gedegen aanpak, kunnen wij het dus wel schudden, maar niet van het lachen. Er komt wat meer kijken, bij lachen, dan alleen het ja-schudden met ons hoofd. Er zijn vele stom-vervelende komiekelingen, die ons willen doen geloven, dat wij aan het lachen kunnen worden gebracht, door ons te overstelpen met allerlei opschudding. Ze zijn, kort gezegd, bezig om iedereen wakker te schudden. Ofschoon er over ouwe-stink-sok filosofen, zoals Renee Descartes absoluut niets te lachen valt, schijnt het zo te zijn, dat de originele betekenis van cogito, wat voorkomt in zijn befaamde cogito ergo sum – ik denk, dus ik besta – samen schudden betekent. Het is misschien wat vergezocht, maar liever gezegd heeft dit wakker schudden uit de lach-armoede, niets te maken met het plotseling ontwaken uit een nare droom, maar met het in beweging zetten van de lach-spieren. Ze doen net alsof ze het lachen, zo spontaan uit hun mouw schudden, maar het is allemaal geacteerd.

 

Al dat idiote geschreeuw, dat verongelijkte gescheld en dat maniacale, uit-de-band-springende, vlugge, zogenaamd-grappige-leuke gepraat, maakt, dat er, uiteindelijk niet veel meer wordt gezegd – eigenlijk helemaal niets – en dat iedereen, vaak ook nog met een stuk in hun kraag, dicht-klapt. Je zou toch willen geloven, dat dit nu zo’n beetje algemeen bekend is, maar blijkbaar zijn er nog hele volks-stammen, die vasthouden, aan een deurtje dicht-gooien, in plaats van een deurtje openen. De meeste, vermoeiende, van-dik-hout-zaagt-men-planken, gevierde grappen makers, zijn volgens mij depressieve mensen, die de ene deur na de andere deur, met een rot-klap dicht smijten. Geen wonder, dat iedereen dicht-klapt en de brui heeft gegeven aan het lachen, want wij worden voortdurend om de oren geslagen, met die pest-herrie, van al die dicht-slaande deuren. En, er wordt door niemand meer netjes – zoals het hoort – een deur opengehouden en het lijkt wel, alsof ons grote gebrek aan goed-lachsheid, te maken heeft met ons gebrek aan beleefdheid en goeie manieren.

 

Vroeger herinnerde men elkaar nog wel eens aan het ontbrekende lachen, met het gezegde: lach en de wereld lacht met je mee. Ook werd het wel eens gezegd, als je lacht, dan lacht de hele wereld met je mee, maar als je huilt, dan huil je alleen, maar zoals ik al zei, niemand herinnert zich dat schijnbaar nog. Het is makkelijker gezegd dan gedaan en daarom is ons het lachen vergaan. Het probleem is, dat we er eigenlijk geen enkele moeite voor willen doen. Men zegt wel, daarmee is alles gezegd en gedaan, maar, ook al werd er van alles gezegd, er is – wat het lachen betreft – helemaal niets gedaan. Met mij is dat anders, want ik doe wat ik zeg. Ik lach elke dag en ik lach, omdat ik gelukkiger ben dan de meeste mensen. Ik zeg dit niet om mij boven anderen te plaatsen, maar ik laat het gezegd zijn: een gelukkig mens lacht nou eenmaal vaker en gemakkelijker dan een ongelukkig mens. Een ongelukkig mens gooit altijd roet in het eten, ook al doen juist ongelukkige mensen heel vaak alsof ze leuk zijn. We hebben hieraan nog nooit veel aandacht besteed, maar die onfortuinlijke zeikers, doen alsof ze lach-wekkend zijn, maar eigenlijk zijn ze zielig. Dat wij doorgaans meestal om zielige mensen lachen is verschrikkelijk.

 

Waarom heb je altijd ja gezegd tegen leuk-doenerij, maar zeg je telkens weer nee tegen echte humor? Je doet dit onbewust, want volgens jou, is doen-alsof, echt leuk, maar echt leuk is een probleem, dat jou stoort. Iemand zoals ik, die lacht, omdat hij blij is en  niet om zijn problemen te maskeren. Anderen, die om mij lachen, die mijn humor vatten, zijn ook echt blij, dat echt lachen nog steeds wel degelijk bestaat. Waarom neemt je genoegen met die nep-humor, die je ellende niet dragelijker, maar erger maakt?

 

Ja, het is dus een grote leugen, dat ons moeizame lachen ons goed zou doen. Het tegendeel is waar, ons lachen heeft een nadelige uitwerking, want we doen leuk over de meest afgrijzelijke dingen, terwijl wij dissocieren van wat er werkelijk plaats vindt. Dat dissociatieve effect van valse humor is verwoestend, want het stompt ons af. We lachen ons letterlijk suf. We lachen nauwelijks of helemaal niet meer, omdat we eigenlijk te dom, te ongevoelig, te wezenloos en te pretentieus zijn. Humor betekent bewustzijn, gevoeligheid, authenticiteit en intelligentie en is dus van zeer bijzondere kwaliteit. Tenzij jij je dus op een andere manier gaat gedragen, dan je gewend was, is humor voor jou niet weggelegd. Mijn humor is aan niemand iets verplicht en het is hoog tijd, dat jij dat onder ogen gaat zien. Het belachelijke idee, dat een of andere komediant jou aan het lachen zou kunnen maken, is een onjuiste karakterisatie van humor.

 

In dit schrijven heb ik de blijde boodschap over de  humor van mijn Belichaamde Taal (BT) overgebracht en jij hebt, heel moedig en aandachtig, doorgelezen tot deze laatste paragraaf, maar ik zeg je, je hebt niet gehoord, wat ik heb gezegd, omdat spreken en luisteren iets heel anders is, dan schrijven en lezen. Humor trekt zich niets aan van jou vooringenomen  houding of jou verwachtins patroon. Jij kan nooit lachen, omdat jij gelooft te weten wat leuk is. Tenzij jij jou niks-zeggende beeld van humor – dat met jou Onlichaamde Taal (OT) in stand wordt gehouden – gaat loslaten, kan jij alleen maar doen alsof iets leuk is. Je hebt geen idee, hoe raar en onaangenaam je altijd overkomt, zolang je blijft doen alsof je het zo naar je zin hebt, want iedereen kan met eigen ogen zien en met eigen oren horen, dat dit niet het geval is. Je bent aan het presteren, aan het bewijzen, aan het uitsloven, maar je lacht niet en je geeft blijk van het feit, dat je niet weet wat het is om te lachen. Als je het wist, waarom lach je dan niet met mij? Nee, je weet het echt niet en je grootste dilemma is, dat je niet kan toegeven, dat je het niet weet.  Stel je toch eens voor, dat je dat deed? Wat zou je dan lachen. Ook al schrijf ik hier, dat ik nu genoeg heb gezegd, ik weet, dat ik met deze woorden iets heel waardevols heb gezegd, waar later, echt over kan worden gesproken en om kan worden gelachen.       

 Here,

 

Would you come here, to talk with me, about being here? I don’t care to talk with you, about where you are. People say, you’ve got to meet people where they are, but I say, why don’t you meet me, where I am? It is a take it or leave it situation, but, since you have never been, where I am, you can’t leave it, as you were never here, so it is reasonable to take it.

 

You can stop your Disembodied Language (DL) right here and now, by connecting, through these words, with me and by experiencing, that your Embodied Language (EL), which makes you so happy, is really possible. Things were getting complicated with your DL, as there was no way out, but these words, bring you to the reality of EL, here, which is such a relief.

 

You didn’t come here, to my blog, to escape, but to find yourself. Thank you for being here. You haven’t been here too long. I suggest, you stay a little longer this time. What do my words do to you? They don’t refer to tedious DL, they invite EL, the language of being here. If you can allow your EL to continue, you begin to sense your Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

I have been waiting, here, for one hour, a week, a month, a year, but now, that you are finally here, there is no time to lose. Your EL always refers to your LE, even if you only manage to only have it for just a few moments. Why don’t you stay here, so that you can acknowledge, it is true what I say?

 

When I, for the first time, heard my voice, I said: I want to stay here and continue with this. And, that is what I did, although I still had to deal with my history of DL, which never allowed me to be here. I stayed here, because someone convinced me, it is possible. I could hear, in the sound of his voice, he was really here. Although he is, supposedly, gone, as far as I am concerned, he is still here, as I am here.

 

You can also hear in the sound of my voice, that I am here. If you don’t hear it, this simply means, that you do not hear, that you are here. EL will illustrate to you, that you can be here, although your fear has always prevented you from being here. This fear will go away, when you listen to the sound of your voice, when you speak with yourself. There is absolutely no fear, when you hear yourself speak with yourself.

 

Please, pause here and take a break. Consider what I have conveyed to you about being here. Your EL is about being here, but your DL drags you all over the place. With DL, you are running, hurrying, but you never settle down here, where you are, where you have always been. In EL, your own language finally catches up with you. It is such a comfortable affair. 

 

What are you here for? Why do you read this blog? What do you hope to gain? These words only have one goal: to bring you here. If you read them out loud and hear your own voice, you will hear, you are here, because your voice is in the here and now. You should be here any minute now, as you can do what I say. You can listen to yourself, while you speak.

 

It is so good, down here, it feels so grounded, so settled, so rooted, so down to earth, but, perhaps, you prefer to say, your EL, is up here, as it feels so elevated, so energized, so elated, so high? Here, the conversation becomes interesting. It really doesn’t matter what your here is like, as it is, where you are. No one’s here is better than someone else’s here.

 

It would be so wonderful, if you could sit here, with me, for a while and talk with me about being here. I love it here and believe, you would love it too, if you somehow managed to get your ass over here. There is nothing to be gained from your DL, but here, you can have EL and experience your LE. I wish you were here, because even in this tiny moment of joyful EL, you can hear your LE. However, I am not here to entertain you. Once you are here, you’ll know, you have done it all by yourself.     

 - Dear reader, who could write something like that? How does someone come up with that? And why? When are you going to finally do it, because you missed out on all this. You can't make something like that up...Thank you AnnaMieke. 

- Here is the beautiful writing of my dear Dutch friend AnnaMieke (unedited translated in one click with Google translate from Dutch) who talks about her Embodied Language (EL) and her Language Enlightenment (LE). So this is what happens when we start to be in charge of our language.

- Do something different in the new year. This is the link to her blog, which she calls: Natuurlijk Ontvouwen. (klompanna2.blogspot.com)

Disarming. It is my description in my being, in which the miraculous unfolding pulls me forward, in preserving how it can strengthen, in the right click, my body prepares itself in the essential aspect, that in the driving of my words, push me down in the amazement of my own writing. It is a soft silence that points me to the connection in my writing, actually shows a beautiful way to write from my silence. In which my language is always given space, in what is about can remain in the certainty of time, that my fingers that I put, without really looking, receive entire texts, to pass on to some others. But in the change that I experience, no scale can be placed, other than only experiencing it in what I write, but can also put it aside, in the origins, in the renewal of my language, can often be more meaningful than the writing whole, in which I can often read my own conclusion. Daring to be lighter, convincing what it can be like, to feel that the rhythm is slowing down, my head is floating looking down and yet I continue to write, which will become the next sentence. I also imagine how the energy I speak about can still be interpreted in my language, and literally shows me that while I tap, everything around me changes, can be in the lighter than writing as I was As if I am landing in yet another new area, where some old words want to swirl, where there is no resistance or resistance, only my own unfolding. I float as in amazement outside my own gate and see some doors opening . To my knowledge, step forward considerably, because I know what this means. That there are no longer any limits in my disarming writing and that it therefore goes a little slower and can be more careful, in opening up what I have known for a long time, that this can arise. But in the specificity of obtaining, which was advocated as silence, than just experiencing what it is like to be able to write in this energy. It has nothing to do with just staying in my own language, than being able to experience my soft energy that I get from it and can just keep sharing it. Just like that, because it arises, just like that, in the dignity of my writing, where the sound can no longer be a drum, than just listening in the ticking of my language, how my heart can be very satisfied, to be able to read myself like this.

- Beste lezer, wie kan zoiets nou schrijven? Hoe komt iemand daarop? En, waarom? Wanneer ga jij het nou ook eindelijk eens doen, want dit ben jij dus allemaal misgelopen. Zoiets kan je niet verzinnen..

- Hier is het prachtige schrijven van mijn dierbare vriendin AnnaMieke, die het heeft over haar Belichaamde Taal (BT) en haar Taal Verlichting (TV). Dit gebeurt er dus, als we onze taal gaan toe eigenen. Dank je wel AnnaMieke. 

- Doe toch eens wat anders in het nieuwe jaar. Dit is de link naar haar blog, die zij Natuurlijk Ontvouwen noemt: Natuurlijk Ontvouwen. (klompanna2.blogspot.com)

Ontwapenend.

Het is mijn beschrijven in mijn zijn, waarin het wonderlijk ontvouwen mij naar voren trekt, in het behouden hoe het kan versterken, in de juiste klik ,mijn lijf zich voor bereid in het wezenlijk aspect, dat in het drijven van mijn woorden, mij neer hebben gezet in de verwondering van mijn eigen schrijven.Het is een zachte stilte die mij wijst naar de verbinding in mijn schrijven,eigenlijk een mooie weg aanwijst om vanuit mijn stilte te kunnen schrijven.Waarin mijn taal de ruimte steeds krijgt, in hetgeen wat over kan blijven in de zekerheid van tijd,dat mijn vingers die ik zet, zonder echt te kijken hele teksten krijgt, om door te geven aan wat andere.Maar in de verandering die ik ervaar, geen weegschaal is te leggen,dan alleen te ervaren in wat ik schrijf,maar het ook zo naast mij neer kan leggen,in het ontstaan,in de vernieuwing van mijn taal, vaak het zinvoller kan zijn,dan het schrijvend geheel, waarin ik mijn eigen afsluiting vaak kan lezen.Het lichter durven zijn,het overreden hoe het kan zijn, om te voelen dat het ritme wat langzamer komt,mijn hoofd al zwevend naar beneden kijkt en toch blijf schrijven, wat de volgende zin weer wordt.
Ik stel mij ook zo voor, hoe de energie waar ik over spreek, nog kan duiden in mijn taal,en mij letterlijk laat zien, dat terwijl ik tik, alles om mij heen veranderd, in het lichter kunnen zijn dan te schrijven zoals ik was gewend.Alsof ik aan het landen ben in weer een nieuw gebied, waar wat oude woorden mee  willen dwarrelen,waar geen verzet of weerstand is, dan alleen mijn eigen ontvouwen.Ik zweef als in een verwondering buiten mijn eigen poort en zie wat deuren openen. Stap naar mijn weten flink vooruit, omdat ik weet wat dit betekent.
Dat er geen grenzen meer  zijn, in mijn ontwapenend schrijven en het daarom ook wat langzamer gaat en zorgvuldiger kan zijn, in het openen wat ik allanger heb geweten, dat dit kan ontstaan.Maar  in de bijzonderheid van verkrijgen, die als stilte was bepleit, dan alleen te ervaren hoe het is, om in deze energie te kunnen schrijven.Het heeft met  niets te maken, dan alleen te verblijven in eigen taal,dan te kunnen ervaren, mijn zachte energie, die ik ervan krijg en zomaar kan blijven delen.Zomaar, omdat het ontstaat,zomaar, in de waardigheid van mijn schrijven,waar de klank geen trommel meer kan zijn, dan alleen te luisteren in het tikken van mijn taal, hoe mij hart heel tevreden kan zijn, om mijzelf zo te kunnen lezen.

 

Against,

 

If you know what is true, you’ll have to admit, that everyone is against you. This isn’t some paranoia, but it is the truth about knowing your own truth. Your truth isn’t like anyone else’s truth, because it only matters to you and when you try to adjust it to others, you will lose touch with your truth and get confused and frustrated. The only way to get clear about your own truth, is to stop comparing it to anyone else’s truth or trying to make it acceptable to others. Your truth is irrefutable, because you know it is true for you, so nobody’s approval is needed. However, it is great if others, who also have acknowledged their own truth, confirm your truth. This is only possible with Embodied Language (EL).

 

Most people, unknowingly, engage in Disembodied Language (DL). When they approve or disapprove, they do so, because of their DL, which is against EL, as EL can only happen, if DL is stopped. Approval from someone with EL, is of much greater value, as such an endorsement has nothing to do with what someone, presumably, is thinking, but with what he or she is saying or writing. This difference is of huge importance, because if we reinforce the illusion that someone is thinking, we prevent this person from doing something, that is, we prevented him or her from saying, writing, thus, from verbally expressing something. This will only become crystal clear, once we engage in ongoing EL, but as long as we still have DL, the point I refer to is never properly addressed.

 

Against the backdrop of our EL, everything will be  different and once we discover and begin to admit the big difference between our DL and EL, we will have to reinterpret everything we know, in the light of our EL, because the knowledge we have acquired was attained with DL. The point I am referring to, is that EL, has no relation whatsoever, to what anyone claims to be thinking. In other words, what is said, written, heard, read or understood, has absolutely no connection at all, to what we consider to be meaningful with DL. Stated differently, our EL from our DL-perspective, may seem utterly meaningless.  

 

There is something odd is going on with the social reinforcement of EL. We need the encouragement from others, to be able to allow ourselves, to find out, that EL is actually self-reinforcing. Someone who plays guitar, likes to hear that sound and keeps playing and practicing, because it is self-reinforcing and a similar effect occurs, while we are listening to our voice, while we speak. We can immediately experience these self-reinforcing effects, but we are not used to enjoying our own voice, while we speak, because we were conditioned, to listen to others, but not to ourselves. Even if we listen to ourselves and feel good about our sound, while we speak, it just seems too good to be true. This is the magic energy of our EL, the gift that keeps on giving. As long as we are unaware of and against our natural sound, while we speak, we undermine ourselves.

 

Once we can have EL with others – because we have had it by ourselves – the social reinforcement is like icing on the cake. Others can only reinforce our EL, if they themselves experience the self-reinforcing effects, I mentioned in the previous paragraph. And, we only become convinced, our thinking doesn’t exist, when we acknowledge these self-reinforcing effects of our EL. This wonderful feeling of engaging in EL, is natural, effortless and ongoing, as it comes about without any practice. It is a matter of being attuned to ourselves and expressing what this is like, in our own way, with the words that we have. With EL, we are no longer verbally against ourselves.

 

With EL, we are finally capable of testifying against our own history of conditioning with DL. We were never able to do this before, with DL. Each time we have tried, to go against our DL with our DL, we only made things worse. With EL we are not against our DL, but we can let it be what it is, as we recognize it for what it is. It is how we were taught, but not how we want to be. We prefer to have EL, but we were never able to admit this to ourselves with our DL.

 

With our EL, we feel, we are receiving a precious gift. Our demeanor changes, to accommodate this valuable experience. You can call it divine energy, but I know, it is the energy, which is now available to you, since you are in charge of your language. With DL, all your energy is, unknowingly, lost in language, because you don’t have a clear sense of who you are and, therefore, you don’t have any boundaries. With EL, we have, for the first time in our life, solid boundaries, which means: we know, that thinking doesn’t exist. As long as we are still in the grip of our habitual DL, we talk as if thinking is a real thing.   

 

Our belief in thinking dissolves like snow in the sun, once we engage in EL. Any reference to presumed inner language doesn’t stand a chance against our EL, because we realize language is about speaking, listening, writing and reading, not about thoughts, ideas, concepts, memories, theories or narratives. With DL, we have been continuously bamboozled, because we bought into the false notion of inner speech and we have believed in happenings, which, with EL, turn out to be imaginary. With DL, we say, we think, but we act like schizophrenics, who claim to hear or see things, that no one else experiences, who have many assumptions, which are absolutely not true, whose reasoning is not logical and who have difficulty communicating their experiences.

 

Surely, with DL, we have never been able to protect ourselves against the adverse effects of our belief in our minds, since we have never paid attention to our common way of talking, which – among many other problems – causes so-called mental-health problems. That idiotic word, mental health, is a contradiction in terms. Yes, we will go against the grain, by saying that thinking doesn’t exist, and it will some take time, to get used to it. I myself, for a long time, was lacking proper boundaries, as I was still convinced every psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, teacher, student, parent – or any honest, intelligent human being – should know about EL, but nobody was interested, as our EL goes against everything we’ve been told. Yet, I insist thinking doesn’t exist.

 

It doesn’t matter, whether you are for or against, your hangup – or hangover – about your thinking is maintained by how you talk. You, unknowingly, have DL, because don’t listen to yourself while you speak. Your attention always goes to listening to others or to making others listen to you. In EL, you joyfully listen to yourself and the fog, which was created by your so-called thinking is gone. I wanted others to know about EL so badly, that I was short-changing myself, but since I have started speaking and writing about my Language Enlightenment (LE), I am no longer so concerned about others and, funny how, I am also no longer so concerned about myself. This major issue, that our thinking doesn’t exist, could only be addressed in the context of our LE.

 

Somehow, I have come full circle, and my energy is now flowing freely with my EL. Also, I really have nothing else to speak or write about than my LE and I feel fully satisfied with that. I don’t care anymore whether others are going to do, whatever it takes, to have EL and I am indifferent to the fact, that everyone keeps unconsciously engaging in DL. It is already a while ago, I gave up teaching, but since I was the person, who discovered EL, I inadvertently, took on me the role, to bring EL and LE to others, but I finally seem to have abandoned that role. I could have never believed, not too long ago, that I would turn against my own inclination, to want to spread the word, but this is how I feel about my EL right now. It is my LE, which makes me be like this.              

 

Truth,

 

I recently came across a piece of my writing, I had never posted on my blog. It was a proposal. I share it with you today, because I still find it valuable. I am doing very well, but there are a few things, I want to get off my chest. This is my truth, for which I have suffered greatly. I don’t regret anything I have done. To the contrary, I am feeling proud, I stood my ground, no matter the many negative consequences. 

I really have gone through this horrendous experience. For the record, none of you, who, supposedly, teach and know psychology, know anything about our Embodied Language (EL), let alone about our Language Enlightenment (LE), which can only be revealed by our EL. I know about this, but you haven’t shown any interest, in what I already knew, while I was still studying for my Ph.D. at Palo Alto University (PAU). During my time there, I gathered all the evidence I needed, to validate my discovery of EL.

 

I must say, I am glad, I did not become a psychologist, but I still insist, I deserve a Ph.D., for what I have put together. I am not joking, I mean this very seriously. If you read my blog, you will find, I have developed an important concept of what could best be described as the psychology of language. It is sad, that except for Scott, the kind librarian, no one at PAU was open to talking with me about EL. I had, naively, but also professionally, assumed, that people in psychology would be nice and friendly, but boy, was I mistaken. Frankly, I felt disgusted, disappointed and impaired, by the shallow competitiveness and superstition amongst both the students as well as the faculty.    

 

Everyone, of course, knew this Dr. Russell was a big fucking, arrogant, incompetent, chaotic jerk, but I had to, initially, put up with this sick moron. You should still give me my money back, just for making me having to deal with this total asshole. Also, if you have any decency at all, you should apologize to me, for the incredible humiliation you have put me through.  

 

In my practicum, in San Mateo - where I, without getting paid, gave therapy to many severely mentally ill and traumatized patients - I wanted to warm up my food, but someone else’s food was in the microwave. I waited a couple of minutes, but no one came and then, I took it out, so I could warm up my lunch. Suddenly, a Chinese man appeared. It was his food, and he was upset, and he repeatedly said that I had touched his food. I tried to explain, I had not touched his food, as I had only taken out his plastic container, with the lid on it, but he was very agitated with me and at some point, I let him know, there was really no need for all this big uproar.

 

My wife happens to be Chinese and my beloved father-in-law happened to have died, just a week before this incident took place. Later, I found out that this man, was a schizophrenic, who was employed by the clinic as a so-called consumer. I had no idea about this and I had never seen this man before. When my supervisor - a stressful, sleezy, chain-smoking, lonely, frustrated, flirtatious, man-hating, single mother, who had a son, whose name was Max and was fanatically into electronic brain-stimulation – spoke to me, suddenly, everything was wrong with me. I had, supposedly, not been culturally sensitive.  

 

I tried to defend myself, but it was to no avail. After all, I was a white, hetero-sexual, privileged male, who had hurt the feelings of a minority person, while trying to calm him down, after he had blown up at me. Short afterward, back at PAU, I was forced to get – costly – therapy, for anger management and when my evil, irresponsible, lazy, dumb supervisor – who, unannounced, had been gone for days – later heard about this, my practicum was abruptly ended, by him, and I was ordered, to appear in front of a commission. This was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. YOU STINKING MOTHER FUCKERS, ALL OF YOU!!! At that moment, I said FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL OF YOU and that was the end of my graduate study at PAU.

 

Shrewd Dr. Froming knew very well, he had enrolled me in this Ph.D. program, which I had enthusiastically started - we even sold our house, so that I could study - because he had told me, I could determine my own research topic. Weeks before this unfortunate micro-wave debacle, however, I had, unexpectedly, been invited, with my wife, to have a dinner with the director of PAU, Alan Calvin, when he told us, without mincing words, I had to give up on the idea of doing my own research, which up until that moment, I had cherished, as it was the very reason, I went to study at PAU. YOU FUCKING LYING WINDBAG!! I felt betrayed by this inconsiderate, mediocre man and by the faculty of this institution and still hold them accountable for the heartache they caused me. My wife and I were still mourning the loss of her father, whom we had loved so dearly and who  played an important role in our lives. I guess, if I had humbly accepted the punishment, which this FUCKING COMMISSION was surely going to inflict on me, I could have redone my practicum and finished my Ph.D. program at a much later date, if I had had some support, but there wasn’t any.  

   

You are, in my opinion, all a bunch of lazy, phony, cowards, for never responding to my writings and for not taking my work serious. After leaving PAU, I taught psychology for almost nine years at Butte College and, thus, the Master of Science, in clinical psychology, still served its purpose, but I admit, I feel so relieved, I have stopped teaching. Also, at Butte College, there was never any real interest in EL, although I gave various successful seminars for the faculty and although all my students knew about it and loved it. I should be honored as an alumnus for what I have accomplished. I am very glad, however, I never became a fulltime psychology faculty, as I couldn’t put up with all the political diversity-equity-inclusion bullshit.   

 

It is simply hubris, which prevents you from acknowledging the truth of what I am talking about. None of you is worth your salary, because you don’t know anything about – you don’t want to know anything about – and, thus, you can’t share, what it is like, to have EL. I have had a horrible time at PAU, but also while teaching at Butte College, because none of you, has showed any respect or appreciation, for what I was already talking about years ago and have further refined. You are, whether you admit it or not, unknowingly, the biggest promotors of Disembodied Language (DL) and, because of the nonsense you claim to know, you can only pretend to have EL. I am here to remind you, that you are fooling your students as well as yourself. The current wave of antisemitism, which is sweeping across campuses, all over the United States, is because DL has continued unabated.  Yes, DL is a very serious matter and we have yet to start acknowledging, that we unconsciously engage in it, everywhere, day in, day out.

 

Read my blog, talk with me and give me the honor I deserve, by admitting, that I truly have discovered something, none of you have the intelligence to give any consideration to. If you are, as you claim to be, interested in psychology or in learning, if you have any passion at all for human relationship, you must be interested in EL. I urge you to consider, why you mechanically do your cushy job, by demanding your students to adore you. I have no respect at all for your so-called woke-work ethics, as it always implies, you don’t give a shit about EL.   

 

You should not feel offended by what I say, as it is true, that you engage in DL, while you pretend to have EL. Admit it and experience with me, a different aspect about psychology, you haven’t yet acquired. It is our ineffective, coercive, effortful use of language, which determines, we never noticed, the great difference between DL and EL. The ugly truth, about how we use our language, can only be revealed during our ongoing EL.

 

I look forward to talking with you personally and repeatedly, so what I address can be verified and acknowledged. I have no other motivation, than a sense of urgency, which derives from the fact, that DL is everywhere and, yet we don’t even know it and aren’t able to talk about it. DL cannot be addressed with DL. We must have EL, to be able to address DL. I stand by this fact. If you recognize me, PAU or Butte College would become a source of new understanding about human relationship. I look forward to reading your responses to my blog. Do not come with your DL, as that will be deleted. Dependent on your meaningful responses, you can let go of your assumptions, set up a time and place, to talk with me and enjoy new dimensions and possibilities, which open up to us, due to our delightful EL.

 

In closing, psychology has always been and still is about the truth, which can only be found, if we have a real dialogue. Your refusal to have EL, signifies your insistence on a monologue, on boring lectures, and, therefore, on DL. To have EL, your DL has to stop first, and this is not a matter of my opinion. I am not claiming to be able to stop your stupid DL. You have to do this yourself and without complaining to me or anyone else. Are you ready for an intellectual challenge? You will not regret it.

 

Writing,

 

While I was studying psychology, the thing I enjoyed most, was writing papers. I never saw the need for quoting what someone else had said or written, as I always wanted to write about my own language. As anyone who reads my writing can tell, I only write about who I turned out to be, with my Embodied Language (EL). I am no longer interested in who I was, due to my conditioning with Disembodied Language (DL), because I can now fully understand why I was that way. Yes, I am self-realized, and my writing has played an important role in describing and establishing my Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

When I discovered, in my early twenties, the great  difference between my DL and EL, I only wanted to speak about it with others, so that people could hear it and have it. Many people suggested, I should write a book about it, but to me, such suggestions  indicated, they weren’t interested in experiencing EL. I was and I still am aware, people appreciate the written word, more than the spoken word. I am so glad, I have continued with the spoken version of my EL. This writing is the consequence of that fact.

 

Whenever someone has EL, he or she is listening to him or herself, while he or she speaks and he or she is saying, what he or she is saying, to him or herself. Although I know, others can read and understand it, I write this for myself. People who don’t know about the difference between DL and EL, don’t know and cannot know, that all the writing, that was done by others, was based on DL. This writing or the writing of my dear Dutch friend AnnaMieke – who, like me, finds talking out loud with herself and listening to her voice and, thus, experiencing her own ongoing EL, more productive, than talking with others and, inevitably, being exposed to or getting involved in DL – is the only writing, which is based on EL. You can only read about our EL and LE on our blogs.

 

Whenever we are obediently, unconsciously and effortfully listening, to a handful of, presumably, important, knowledgeable, distinguished speakers – without realizing, we never even get the chance, to say something ourselves – we don’t realize, these eloquent, prominent, persuasive speakers – who, of course, only succeed in getting all the attention, by dominating, by determining and by, in one way or another, forcing the so-called conversation – only say what they or others have written. Their speech is scripted, pre-determined, acted and phony.

 

When I went to college and took a speech class, I was infuriated and totally disappointed, to find out, that I was taught and expected, to write my speech, before I could, supposedly, say what wanted to say, in a most convincing – manipulative – way. It really goes against everything I stand for. It goes without saying, I did very badly in that class, because I didn’t want to do, what I was supposed to do. However, it was an eye-opener, to find out that, unfortunately, all public speaking, is always based on writing about what is said. And, this is why practically every public person has written a book, which perpetuates the already existing detrimental notion, that the written word, is more important than the spoken word.  

 

Before I enrolled in the Psychology program of Palo Alto University, I was promised, I would be able to determine my own research topic. However, after I had successfully completed all my course work and was accruing my clinical hours, by giving therapy to severely mentally ill and traumatized people, I was told in a forceful manner, by the mean and arrogant director, that with regard to writing my dissertation, I had to follow the research of my supervisor and that I could write about whatever I wanted, after I had achieved the Ph.D. This was a total betrayal. I hope they read this and give me my money back. I withdrew from the program, because I had wanted to write about, what I am writing about on my blog.

 

I am glad, I didn’t become a psychologist. With my master's degree I became a psychology instructor at Butte College, where one of the assignments, to all my students, was to write a one-page paper, which started with the sentence: when I speak alone with myself and listen to the sound of my voice, then… They would experience, what it is like, to speak with and listen to themselves and then write about that. It was so revealing and so beautiful, what they were writing. I still consider receiving all these wonderful papers as my biggest accomplishment, as a teacher.

 

Certainly, this writing or anyone’s writing about EL, will let you know, that EL really exists, but you will only be able to experience it, if you begin to talk out loud with yourself and listen to your voice. Reading someone else’s writing isn’t changing our behavior, as it distracts us from paying attention to our EL, our own language, with which we instruct ourselves, to be happy and to behave as we want to. Yet, reading our own writing is a different matter, especially, if it is about our EL. By writing and reading about my EL, I have turned the corner on my conditioning history with DL and have become stabilized in my LE. I was against writing about EL in the beginning, because I intuitively didn’t want to be burdened with writing, which must have derived from people their inability to acknowledge the existence of EL, let alone, of the continuation of EL, which would reveal their LE.