Further,

 

In Embodied Language (EL), we can go on laughing, but in Disembodied Language (DL), we lose our laughter. We are so accustomed to DL that we just keep busy, unnoticed, to start laughing and it never really crosses our mind to continue with it. Can you imagine that we not only laugh a little bit now and then, but that we stay in it, so to speak? Can we take laughter further than we have until now? 

 

Even though all our other problems are, supposedly, of much greater importance, our small amount of is of course a big problem in itself. Yes, even a tiny bit  laughter is very rare, regular laughter is almost unheard of, but laughing incessantly is not for narrow-minded, dull-witted cowards, who dare not lose themselves in laughter, because constant laughter means that you really disappear or cease to be, who you were or thought you were.

 

Laughter is a poignant, profound thing. In general, we are very cunning and underhanded about it. It plays a very necessary role in the process of DL  withdrawal, our usual humorless way of dealing with language. There is no frankness whatsoever in DL. Crying is closer to us than laughing, because it is naturally sad that we, unconsciously, day in and day out, surrender to stupid DL. To continue laughing, there will first have to be quite a bit of crying.

 

Ongoing laughter is not innate, but can only come about when you are literally sick and tired of playing the so-called smart, last-laughing third person. You are not educating yourself by pretending that you are above the usual conflict, because you know how to profit from the outcome. If you want to laugh, you can't remain an outsider.

You may get a momentary fit of laughter or burst into laughter, but it's definitely not, even if you say so, real laughter. You laugh, because you're not really happy, like a peasant with a toothache. In order not to look like a monkey, you pretend that you would have laughed like a monkey, but in the sad reality of DL, you laughed unhappily and loudly.

 

Because you actually know that you have been damaged, you do not want to remain in a dent. It's because of your fear you pee your pants laughing. It's disastrous you don't notice that, because of your DL, you say you can have fun with it, your misery,  again. You don't really have fun when you get the giggles again, because you never really change.

 

Only with EL does fortune smile on you, for it is your true nature that causes the laughter and not some stupid joke. This is what I want to say, with my EL, to anyone who is trying to be funny by talking nonsense: don't try to make me laugh. I  dislike all attention-demanding entertainment, but I'm completely blown away if I can have EL with anyone, because we know this is always going to go on. We stay in it, as we realize our conditioning history with DL is just ridiculous and ludicrous. Our Language Enlightenment (LE) not only allows our EL to continue effortlessly, but also our laughter and we therefore always have all the laughers on our side. And, laughing is healthy.

 

 

Verder,

 

In Belichaamde Taal (BT), kunnen we verder gaan met lachen, maar in Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) vergaat ons het lachen. We zijn zo aan OT gewend, dat we alleen maar, ongemerkt, bezig blijven, om met het lachen te beginnen en het komt eigenlijk nooit in ons op, om ermee verder gaan. Stel je toch eens voor, dat we niet alleen, zo af en toe, een beetje lachen, maar dat we er zogezegd in blijven?

 

Ook al zijn al onze andere problemen, zogenaamd, van veel groter belang, eventjes lachen is op zichzelf natuurlijk al een groot probleem. Ja, zelfs een klein beetje lachen is al heel zeldzaam, regelmatig lachen is vrijwel ongehoord, maar onophoudelijk lachen is niet weggelegd voor bekrompen, duffe angst-hazen, die zich niet durven te verliezen in het lachen, want voortdurend lachen, betekent dat je echt verdwijnt,  of ophoudt te zijn, wie je was of meende te zijn.

 

Lachen is een aangrijpende, ingrijpende zaak. Over het algemeen, gaan we er heel sluw en achterbaks mee om. Het speelt een zeer noodzakelijke rol in het afkick-proces van OT, onze gebruikelijke humorloze wijze van omgang met taal. Er is geen enkele sprake van openhartigheid in OT. Het huilen staat ons nader dan het lachen, omdat het natuurlijk in-triest is dat we ons, onbewust, dag in dag uit, aan OT overgeven. Om echt verder te gaan met lachen, zal er eerst behoorlijk wat gejankt moeten worden.

 

Goed-lachsheid, is niet aangeboren, maar kan alleen tot stand komen, als je het letterlijk spuigzat bent, om de zogenaamde slimme, laatst- lachende derde uit te hangen. Je maakt je jezelf niet wijzer, door te doen alsof je boven het gebruikelijke conflict staat, omdat je weet te profiteren van de uitkomst. Als je wilt lachen, dan kan je geen buitenstaander blijven.

 

Je krijgt misschien wel eens een kortstondige stuip van het lachen of je hebt een schaterlach, maar het is absoluut niet, ook al zeggen je dat, echt lachen. Je lacht, omdat je niet echt blij bent, als een boer die kiespijn heeft. Om niet voor aap te staan, doe je, alsof je je een aap zou hebben gelachen, maar in de trieste werkelijkheid van OT, lach je je een ongeluk.  

 

Omdat je eigenlijk wel weet, dat je bent beschadigd, wil je niet in een deuk blijven liggen. Het is vanwege je angst, dat je in je broek piest van het lachen. Het is rampzalig, dat je niet eens in de gaten hebt, dat je, vanwege je OT, zegd dat je er je lol weer mee op kan. Want, je hebt geen werkelijk plezier, als je weer de slappe lach krijgt, omdat je nooit echt veranderd.

 

Alleen met BT lacht het fortuin je toe, want het is je ware natuur, die het lachen veroorzaakt en niet een of andere stomme grap. Dit is, wat ik, met mijn BT,   zeggen wil, tegen iedereen, die probeert, om leuk te doen, door onzin uit te kramen: laat me niet lachen. Ik heb een grondige hekel aan die aandacht-trekkerij amusement, maar ik lig helemaal dubbel, als ik BT met iemand kan hebben, omdat we weten, dat dit altijd verder gaat. We blijven erin, omdat we ons realizeren, dat onze conditionerings geschiedenis met OT belachelijk is. Onze Taal Verlichting (TV) laat niet alleen op natuurlijke wijze onze BT doorgaan, maar ook ons lachen en wij hebben daarom altijd alle lachers aan onze kant. En, lachen is gezond.

 

Like,

 

How do you like all the hate that is going on? You must like it a lot, because it is your Disembodied Language (DL), which keeps it going. And, how is it working for you, that you almost never laugh? Why do you so strongly believe, you don’t need to laugh anymore? How the hell did you even come to that conclusion? Due to your usual way of talking, you, unknowingly, abuse yourself, with your language.

 

There is much more to laugh about, than what you consider to be funny. If I would go by what you like, I wouldn’t laugh at all. These few moments, you still forcefully, noisily, demonstratively, uncomfortably  laugh, don’t count, because such spasms actually may give you a heart-attack. Yes, you might laugh yourself to death, because you laugh so very little.

 

You don’t like to hear this, but humor isn’t dead yet. You should be happy to hear this, but you aren’t, as you are simply not allowed to say whatever you like, to others. Of course, you could always say whatever you like to yourself. You would have a lot of fun, as you would engage in Embodied Language (EL), the new way of talking, in which we like ourselves and, consequently, revive our ability to laugh again.

 

I laugh every day, because I do what I like: I talk out loud alone with myself. It’s fine, you don’t believe me. Go ahead, do whatever – you say – you like, as I know, you don’t like it, anyway. How can you like what you do, if everything you say, is said in a tone of voice, you don’t like to listen to? Those, who dominate the conversation, demand others to listen to them, but they never listen to themselves, since they absolutely don’t like to hear themselves.

 

When the Holly-wood writers go on strike, you will have nothing to laugh about anymore, as the shows, you like so much, will not be written. To me, it makes no difference, as I don’t like any of these shows. My perspective about humor is way more realistic and fulfilling than entertainment. I can’t laugh about phony shit, but I will laugh my ass off, if you, somehow, manage to get your head out of your ass. You see, that has been your problem all along. It is impossible to laugh with your head up your ass or someone else’s ass. Also, your ass-kissing is no joke, it is serious business, which always puts laughter on the back-burner or behind someone’s back. I know what DL is like. This is where real humor starts.

 

It's a sign of oppression, that you don’t laugh, that you can’t laugh, that you shouldn’t laugh and that you’re ashamed to laugh. I’m not oppressing you, neither is someone else, as you oppress yourself. You have to do a lot of hard work, not to laugh, but somehow you get it done and you pull it off. Great. Don’t expect me to applaud for your lack of humor, which, basically, kills every opportunity to laugh.

 

I will laugh, without you, later, but at this moment, I would like to use my time, to hopefully prepare you for some laughter, after I am done and after you are done with reading what I have written. I don’t like your so-called humor, but, who knows, you might begin to like mine, if you give yourself a chance to take it in slowly, by reading out loud and by hearing your own voice? There’s no need to rush yourself into an outburst of laughter, as that would be more of the same of what you are used and I’m not part of that trash. My humor isn’t cheap: the more you pay, the more it pays off and the better it gets.  

 

You pay – not just for my humor, but for anything  valuable and authentic – by paying attention and by paying more attention and if you have paid enough attention, if you have paid attention long enough, you will stop expecting the same crap you are used to and conditioned by, which you don’t even like. Your dislike will pave the way for something new.

Don’t be upset, I have my judgments about your lack of humor. I know, nobody called you on this, as I do, as I can, but it is so objectionable, you don’t laugh and yet, still believe it is acceptable. Why do you accept everything is a struggle, a conflict or a problem? What is like, if you begin to laugh and to formulate your own answers to your own questions, which would help you to overcome your challenges?

 

You’ve never considered your inability to laugh, as a challenge, you’ve consistently ran away from. Why do you fail at laughter, every time you try it? You’re doing something wrong and unless you stop doing, what you were doing, your laughter isn’t going to come. You could have come up with this yourself, but why didn’t you? I tell you why. It is because you would have done something about yourself, before you can laugh. You believed, you could laugh, just like that and you expect, anyone who is supposedly funny, to make you laugh, right away, but that is not how it works. Unless you stop your anti-laughter mentality, there is no way you are going to laugh.

 

Right now, you hang on to your usual, dreadful, dumb, disconnected defense against laughter or you just drop that anxious, painful, arduous, stressful mind-set. You already know what will happen, if you do the former, but what would happen, if you did the latter? You might like to explore the possibility? I know, you don’t do this. I will pretend, as if you did.  

 

The ice is melting, you begin to loosen up, you have a little bubbling feeling and it isn’t difficult to smile, as you are comfortable about your ability to do this. You are doing this on your own terms, on your own behalf, that’s why you simply can’t go wrong. You are no longer so uptight, so heavy, so sad, so lonely and so frustrated, you might actually like to produce the sound of your smile about your wellbeing. This happy sound doesn’t have to fulfill any requirement.

 

It doesn’t really matter, your pleasant voice isn’t  immediately making you laugh, as you just enjoy it. Perhaps, you like to say something to yourself, now that you feel so unburdened and relieved? You are grateful, you can still feel this way, even though you haven’t really felt this way for such a long time.

 

When people say, they had such a good time, they were rolling over the floor and pissing in their pants with laughter, they are bragging. It wasn’t as good as they say it was. They may have laughed a little, but even if they only had a little bit of fun, they feel special, as they know damn well, most people aren’t  having any fun at all. However, real laughter, is still out of the question. For real laughter, you will have to, literally, bring it on, whatever you’ve got. As of yet, you don’t have much, but it’s a beginning and, as I’ve said, you’ve got to start somewhere. Don’t be ashamed, you don’t have much to laugh about. Be happy with the amount you’ve got, as it represents  exactly what you’ve put into it. You’ll be surprised how quickly your laughter will grow, if you just got started and congratulate yourself, that you just did. False laughter is for those, who don’t know and who can’t be themselves, but genuine laughter is only for those, who really like themselves, because they can hear the difference between their own DL and EL.                     

 

Laugh,

 

There is not very much to laugh about anymore with anyone, these days, so if you want to laugh, you’d be better off, if you did like me and laugh about yourself. Actually, there is also not very much to talk about with anyone, anymore these days and, you’d be better off, if you did like me and talk with yourself. If you would talk with yourself, you would kill two birds with one stone: you would laugh about what you couldn’t talk about with others, because you can always talk with yourself and you would laugh by yourself, as you couldn’t laugh with others. Nobody realizes laughing alone is underappreciated, while the effects of laughing about others, are highly overrated and exaggerated. By yourself, you can laugh much easier and more than about others.

 

Laughing about your yourself, goes hand in hand with laughing alone, but laughing about others, doesn’t necessarily involve laughing about yourself. Most likely, laughing with others, is laughing about others and not laughing about yourself. As soon as laughing with others, turns into laughing about ourselves, the laughter – with others – for most people, is over, as the joke, so to speak, is on us.

 

Let’s not beat around the bush: you want to have phony laughter about others – not real laughter with others – because you don’t want to laugh about your own stupidity and misery. Really laughing with others,  always involves really laughing with yourself, but the  totally lame and all too common laughter – about others – prevents you from laughing with others.

 

If someone makes an unnecessary mistake, we may be inclined to say, that he or she never thought it through, but the never before, properly addressed, taboo fact –  about your miserly laughter – is: you never laughed it through, that the joke is on you.

 

The question arises: how do I or someone else, get you to laugh about yourself, instead of about me or someone else? Of course, the answer is very simple and straight forward: by stopping and by preventing you from laughing about me or about any so-called stand-up comedian. I didn’t come here, to make you laugh about me, as I am not into such rubbish. I’m into laughing about myself. I know, you don’t want that, so I have to persist in my unusual approach of being absolutely not funny and of letting you know,  your previous dull, minimal, short-lived laughter, was always about others and never helped you, to laugh about yourself and have more fun in your life.

 

Naturally, I or someone else can’t help you, to laugh about yourself and you would be helping yourself enormously, you would do yourself a big favor, if you would laugh about yourself. For God sakes, the damn question: how does one begin to laugh about oneself, is not for me, but for you. I am able to say this, because I already know, how to laugh about myself. Although I can say it and know it, it remains to be seen, if you are going to consider it and do it. I don’t see it happening any time soon, because you keep refusing to say something funny to yourself.

 

Don’t be pissed with me, for not making you laugh, I’m doing the best I can, to help you overcome your predicament. You still believe, you can’t laugh about yourself, but, of course, you can. Indeed, you would  immediately laugh about yourself, if you would say, allow, hear, experience and admit, how confused, distracted, bizarre, perverted and obsessed you are.

 

To laugh about yourself, you will have to let yourself know what the hell is going on with you. You are so  good at repeating the same tragic problems, over and over again, so perhaps, you can apply that great skill – to repeat yourself – by repeating, to yourself,  the reason, I just presented, for why you don’t laugh about yourself? There is only one reason – and one reason only – why you would laugh about yourself and that is: your frantic life is a catastrophic mess.

 

No matter what you do, you always screw up, you fail, give up, feel frustrated and are wasting your time. Laughing by yourself requires, you face the suffering, you couldn’t laugh away by laughing about others. It is not crazy, but healthy, to talk with yourself and to laugh loudly – alone – as you know and have always known, your own damn truth.

 

You didn’t know, that dealing with your own shit would be and could be this funny. When people say: the truth will set you free, they make an incomplete statement, as the full statement ought to be: the truth will set you free, because you laugh about yourself. If you can’t laugh, it isn’t true. However, you will start to laugh, by admitting, how often and how long, you have pretended, that something was supposedly true, while it wasn’t, as you have never laughed about that. Only when you realize and say to yourself in what a bunch of utter garbage you have believed, will you laugh about your own truth.

 

Usually, we laugh about stuff, which we are not supposed to or allowed to say or do, but when you laugh about yourself, you laugh, because you say or do things, which you are allowed to do, which you want to continue to do. Stated differently, laughing about yourself is the gift that keeps on giving. You don’t need anyone, as you find your own humor to be qualitatively better than anyone you have ever heard, as nobody is into laughing about themselves.

 

Laughing about yourself is infectious, as others feel the difference and are encouraged, by you, not to be so apprehensive and reserved, about their own dramas, traumas and tragedies, which we actually all have in common with each other. Basically, we all make it seem, as if we can’t laugh about ourselves, because we are too troubled to laugh, but the exact opposite is true: we all can laugh about ourselves, because we are all exasperated, stressed out, lost, conflicted, distracted and ashamed. Each of us has plenty of material, we just need to verbally get to it, by speaking with and listening to ourselves. I have fun every day, as I laugh all my troubles away. You would have fun with me, if you do the same as I do. Then, we would laugh with, not about each other.           

 

 

Experience,

 

You always experience something, but as of yet, you don’t have the language, to accurately describe your experience. You were conditioned by Disembodied Language (DL), which never captured precisely and, therefore, effectively, what you perceived to be true. Only when – after you have stopped your DL – you engage in Embodied Language (EL), can you remain truthful to your own experience, as your language is attuned to your body, because you listen to the sound of your voice, while speak. If you continue to speak in this manner, you will begin to hear and consequently, experience and know, the truth about your own life and the lives of others.  

 

Of course, there is no you, who has an experience, as there is only experience. The so-called separation between you and your experience, is because – due to your DL – you still erroneously believe, there is a behavior-causing agent inside. However, when you  listen to the sound of your voice, while you speak with yourself – alone – about what you want to say, but couldn’t say in your conversation with others, you know, there is no inner entity, who experiences, but only your experience. In DL, you fixated on the what you said and everything got stuck, but in EL, you loosen up, as language becomes again fluid.

 

In exactly the same way, there is no you, who has an experience, there is also no you, who has DL or EL, as there is only your experience of one or the other. Thus, whatever you experience is true and if you say it in the way, you are able to say it, you will say it in the way, you are able to accept it, understand it, let go of it and be happy with it. Of course, you don’t really talk with yourself either – as the speaker is the listener – and there is only your experience.  

 

The oneness of your experience, in EL, continues only, if you keep paying attention to the sound of your voice while you speak. Again, there is no you, who pays attention, but there is only being aware of the sound, which you produce. And, yes, you don’t produce this sound, but this sound is simply coming out, because it can come out, as you know, there is no you. Surely, you could say, you have surrendered to your language, but this is again your old way of talking about your experience. There is no you, who surrenders to your language, but there is only your  sound, your experience, verbalized in an embodied tone of voice, which is – and which remains – new.

 

During ongoing EL, you will come to know, that your experience of reality is created by how you use your language, that is, with DL, you basically create your own hell, but in EL, you create your own heaven. It is possible for you to notice, there really is no you, who creates one or the other, as your DL or your EL simply present themselves, because, at the moment that you speak, either one or the other is possible for you. As you pay attention to whatever asks your attention, there is no you, who pays attention, but there is simply the expression of whatever is in your attention. In other words, you talk randomly about whatever you are able to speak about and because you listen to yourself, while you speak and embody your language, an effortless ordering takes place.

 

Some experiences are more important than others and with EL, we finally get our priorities right, as our attention can go to any of our own experiences and especially to the experience of our own truth. Thus, the verbalization of our own experience, during EL, determines, we are no longer distracted from it and carried away by hollow words, which, so to speak, disconnect and dissociate from our own experience.

 

As stated, during our EL – which consist of speaking with ourselves, listening to ourselves and writing about this speaking with and listening to ourselves and also reading and responding to our own writing, with more writing, like this writing – experience of our own truth, takes priority over whatever anyone  else has said or written. In effect, we come into our own and we happily stay with ourselves – even if, except with ourselves, there is nobody to have EL with – as our Language Enlightenment (LE) takes priority. We are full of energy and delight, once we realize, it was always our LE, which made our EL possible. We are, so to speak, our true selves, as we know, there is no me, only our ecstatic experience.       

       

 

To give in,

Of course, you don't want to give in, talk to me and admit, there is a huge difference between Embodied Language (EL) and Disembodied Language (DL), because you feel embarrassed, as it would expose your DL. In fact, you are ashamed, you have always been unconsciously busy with deplorable, stupid, obsessive, reactionary DL. Annoyingly, EL is such an obvious thing and yet, you have totally missed it.

 

When you read these words, you involuntarily feel a sensation of discontent, insult and humiliation, since somehow you know, it is exactly as I say it is. You are caught by me, in the madness, which I call DL, but which you have continued to regard as normal. You never got to EL because you don't want to admit, you are ignorant of your own language. You feel cheated, even though you know very well,  I have nothing to do with the lies you were saddled with, first by others and then by yourself. Yes, you would even accuse me of holding you back from EL.

 

You can't get over your hesitation to finally throw the door of your EL all the way open, by talking to me. I know, it's a big step, because there's no going back once you talk to me. Once you continue with EL, your DL will be over. You know, I will continue with my EL, in spite of your reservations.

 

Everything you give as a reason not to talk to me, not to call me, not to meet with me on a skype call (my skype name is limbicease), is proof of the fact that you choose to continue with DL. Ridiculous that – after all these years of living and experiencing how problematic your usual handling of language is – you still cannot admit that you have created the illusion, for yourself, that you already have EL. You may have had a very small amount of EL, but you never went through with it, because you simply didn't know how that would work.

 

Admitting your ignorance is a mixture of misplaced pride, hurt and doggedness. Is it really true, that truly being yourself isn’t possible for you? Talking to me doesn’t make you my follower, and yet you keep having such a feeling, until you have applied yourself to your language and reclaimed it. You may say something vaguely like, you want to do your own thing or that you want to go your own way – and, therefore, you absolutely don’t want to do my thing or go my way - but what is your thing or your way, if you can’t speak or write about it with EL?

 

However you look at it, you have no idea what fits with you - what is, therefore, truly yours - because you never stopped your automatic participation in DL. Your absurd belief in going your own way, is a fixed idea because you want to be someone special. It doesn't make you different from others, that you know there's only one like you, but it would make a big difference, if your handling of language reflected that. If you take responsibility to move forward with your EL, you must know, acknowledge and accept that everyone has, unknowingly, been stuck in DL. If you have ongoing EL, then you are always new in  your language, but this isn’t the case yet. Even if you say you want to be new, that doesn't make you new.

 

When will you finally admit, there is a big difference between wanting something and doing what you have to do, to achieve what you want? You have wanted so many things, but you have always forgotten, because of your language. Like everyone else, you keep pretending, that it will eventually happen, but in reality, you keep putting it off and so much time has already passed with all kinds of lies.

 

There is also a sense, while reading my words, you have stopped – yourself – from continuing with EL as you have continued with DL. It is unpleasant to admit this to others, for it is an obvious sign that, as far as you are concerned, you have completely missed the mark. So, you want to pretend to others that you know what it is, but to yourself, you nevertheless know that this is not true. Admitting to yourself, this is so, is not enough to have EL with me, because in order to have EL with me – or with anyone else – you will have to be able to admit to others, what you have admitted to yourself. Time after time, you have been denying yourself, you have given yourself away and thus you have harmed yourself while you were overtaken again by DL. You have always described this self-abuse incorrectly.

 

You may sometimes admit, to others, that you were, so to speak, stuck in your head or in your mind, but that is not correct, as far as handling of language is concerned. Something very different is taking place than your usual descriptions. What is it, when you say and hear, that you think something? You say it, you hear it, but there is no such thing, as thinking at all. What is it, when you write, that you supposedly think? You write it and you can write it, because thinking doesn't exist at all. Someone with EL never experiences a writer’s block. The only proof - which is of course not a proof at all - that your so-called thinking really exists, is that you say it or write it, so that it can be heard or read. If in the end that should ever be the case, that you started saying what only you could say and wrote what only you could write – to yourself – then you know, that your handling of language has changed and made it irrefutably clear , that your thinking or having a mind doesn’t exist. In other words: there is no such thing as finding or going your own way. We all go exactly the same way, because we all just die one day.

 

EL is the awareness of impermanence expressed in language. We simply cannot turn away from the fact of our death, as we have come to recognize death with our language and regard it as something that happens during our communication. So, we really solve our fear of death during EL. It is not sad, but very uplifting and revealing, for we no longer put off living because of our fear of death, which is lifted by our EL. With our EL, we will not only say what we can and want to say, but we will also do everything that we can and want to do. So, it is absolutely inconceivable, someone with EL would not want to talk to someone else who also has EL, because they both know, they are the only few individuals who are capable of doing this. This gives us a grateful feeling, that lasts forever, as it is preserved because we remain loyal to EL, continue to share it with each other and, therefore, also make it known to others.

          

 

Toegeven,

 

Natuurlijk wil je niet met mij praten en toegeven, dat er een gigantisch groot verschil bestaat tussen Belichaamde Taal (BT) en Ontlichaamde Taal (OT), want je voelt je in je hemd gezet, omdat dat jou OT zou aantonen. Eigenlijk schaam je je dood, dat je dus altijd onbewust met je armoedige, domme OT bent bezig gebleven. BT is zoiets voor de hand liggends en toch ben je het helemaal misgelopen.

 

Als je deze woorden leest, voel je onwillekeurig een sensatie van onvrede, belediging en vernedering, aangezien je ergens heus wel weet, dat het precies zo zit, zoals ik het zeg. Je wordt door mij betrapt op de waanzin, die ik OT noem, maar die jij als normaal bent blijven beschouwen. Je bent nooit toegekomen aan BT, omdat je niet wil toegeven, dat je onwetend bent over je taal. Je voelt je bedrogen, ook al weet je donders goed, dat ik niets te maken heb, met de leugens, waarmee je, eerst door anderen en daarna, door jezelf werd opgezadeld. Ja, je zou mij ervan willen beschuldigen, dat ik jou BT zou tegenhouden.

 

Je kunt maar niet over je schroom heenkomen, om eens eindelijk de deur van je BT helemaal open te gooien, door eens met mij te praten. Ik weet het, het is een hele stap, want er is geen weg terug, als je eenmaal met mij praat. Wanneer je doorgaat met BT, is afgelopen met je OT en je weet, dat ik doorga met BT, ook al heb jij je zogenaamde bedenkingen.

 

Alles wat je opwerpt, als reden, om maar niet met mij te praten, om mij niet op te bellen, om mij niet te ontmoeten tijdens een skype-gesprek (mijn skype naam is limbicease), is een bewijs van het feit, dat je ervoor kiest, om met OT verder te gaan. Belachelijk, dat je – na al die jaren, dat je hebt geleeft en hebt ervaren, hoe problematisch je gebruikelijke omgang met taal is – nog steeds niet kan toegeven, dat je, voor jezelf, de illusie hebt gecreeerd, dat je al BT zou hebben. Je hebt misschien wel een heel klein beetje BT gehad, maar je bent er nooit mee doorgegaan, want je wist eenvoudigweg niet hoe dat werkt.

 

Het toegeven van je onwetendheid is een mengeling van misplaatste trots, gekwetsheid en verbetenheid. Is het echt waar, dat jezelf zijn niet voor jou zou zijn  weggelegd? Met mij praten maakt jou niet tot mijn volgeling en toch blijf je zo’n gevoel houden, zolang jij je nog niet op je taal hebt toegelegd en jou taal hebt toegeeigend. Je zegt dan misschien wel zoiets vaags van, dat je je eigen ding wilt doen of dat je je eigen weg wil gaan – en dus absoluut niet mijn ding of mijn weg – maar wat is jou ding of jou weg dan, als je het niet eens kan zeggen of schrijven met BT?

 

Hoe je het ook wendt of keert, je hebt geen flauw benul van wat echt bij jou past – en wat daarom van jou is – omdat je nog nooit bent opgehouden met je automatische deelname aan OT. Jou absurde geloof in het gaan van je eigen weg, is een idee-fixe, omdat je speciaal wilt zijn. Het maakt jou niet anders dan anderen, dat je weet je, dat er maar een iemand is zoals jij, maar het zou wel een groot verschil maken, als jou omgang met taal dat echt zou weergeven. Als jij verantwoordelijkheid neemt, om met BT verder te gaan, kan het niet anders, dan dat je weet, erkent en volledig accepteerd, dat iedereen, ongemerkt, in OT is blijven hangen. Als jij BT hebt, dan ben je altijd nieuw in je taal, maar dat is nog niet zo. Ook al zeg je dat je nieuw wilt zijn, daarom ben je het nog niet.

 

Wanneer geef je nou eens eindelijk toe, dat er een groot verschil is tussen iets willen en het doen wat je te doen staat, om te bewerkstelligen wat je wil? Je hebt zovaak van alles gewild, maar je bent het toch telkens weer vergeten. Net als iedereen, blijf je doen alsof het er uiteindelijk wel van gaat komen, maar in werkelijkheid, blijf je het uitstellen en er is al zoveel tijd heengegaan met allerlei leugens.

 

Er doet zich, tijdens het lezen van mijn woorden, ook een gewaarwording voor, dat jij jezelf hebt tegengehouden, om met BT verder te gaan, omdat je met OT bleef doorgaan. Het is enorm onprettig omdat aan anderen toe te geven, want het is een overduidelijk teken, dat jij, wat jezelf betrefd, de plank faliekant hebt misgeslagen. Je wilt dus naar anderen doen voorkomen, alsof jij wel weet, hoe het zit, maar naar jezelf weet je desalniettemin, dat dit niet waar is. Het aan jezelf toegeven, dat dit zo is, volstaat niet om BT met mij te hebben, want om met mij – of met wie dan ook – BT te hebben, zal je in staat moeten zijn en blijven, om, wat je aan jezelf hebt toegegeven, ook aan anderen toe te geven, dat je dus, keer op keer jezelf verloochend, weggeeft en dus geweld aandoet, wanneer je weer door OT bent overgenomen. Je hebt dit altijd verkeerd benoemd.

 

Je geeft misschien wel eens toe, naar anderen, dat je zogezegd in je kop of in je mind bleef zitten, maar dat is niet correct, wat betreft je omgang met taal. Er vindt iets heel anders plaats, dan je gebruikelijke beschrijvingen. Wat is het, als je zegt en hoort, dat je iets denkt? Je zegt het, je hoort het, maar er is helemaal niet zoiets als het denken. Wat is het, als je schrijft, wat je zogenaamd denkt? Je schrijft het en je kunt het schrijven, omdat denken helemaal niet eens bestaat. Iemand met BT heeft nooit een schrijf blokkade. Het enige bewijs – dat natuurlijk helemaal geen bewijs is – dat jou zogenaamde denken echt zou bestaan, is dat jij het zegt of schrijft, zodat het kan worden gehoord of gelezen. Als dat uiteindelijk ooit het geval mocht zijn, dat jij bent gaan zeggen, wat alleen jij kon zeggen en bent gaan schrijven, wat alleen jij kon schrijven – aan jezelf – dan weet je, dat jou omgang met taal is veranderd en omonstotelijk heeft helder gemaakt, dat dat denken of het hebben van een mind niet bestaat. Met andere woorden: er is dus ook helemaal niet zoiets, als het vinden of het gaan van je eigen weg. We gaan allemaal precies dezelfde weg, want we gaan allemaal een keer gewoon dood.

 

BT is dus het besef van vergankelijkheid uitgedrukt in taal. Wij kunnen ons eenvoudigweg niet afkeren van de dood, aangezien wij met onze taal de dood zijn gaan erkennen en zijn gaan beschouwen als iets dat tijdens onze communicatie gebeurd. Wij lossen dus werkelijk op tijdens BT. Het is niet treurig, maar  heel opwekkend en openbarend, want wij stellen ons leven niet langer meer uit, vanwege onze angst voor de dood, die is opgeheven in BT. We gaan met onze BT niet alleen zeggen, wat wij kunnen en willen zeggen, maar wij gaan ook echt alles doen, wat wij kunnen en willen doen. Het is dus absoluut  onvoorstelbaar, dat iemand met BT, niet zou willen praten met iemand anders, die ook BT heeft, omdat zij beiden weten, dat zij de enigen zijn die dit doen. Dit geeft een uitverkoren gevoel, dat eindeloos blijft voortduren en wordt behouden, omdat wij trouw blijven aan BT, het met elkaar blijven delen en het daardoor ook aan anderen kenbaar kunnen maken.