Daarom,

 

Omdat mijn taal, bijna vijf en zestig jaar geleden, in  Nederland begon, is het voor mij van belang, om na vijf en twintig jaar in Amerika te hebben geleefd, op deze gepensioneerde leeftijd, in mijn moeder’s taal, over mijn verlichting te spreken en te schrijven. Het is juist daarom van zo’n enorom belang, omdat ik eigenlijk onlangs pas, vanwege mijn Belichaamde Taal (BT), in staat ben geraakt, om mij tevreden en dus volledig te uiten, over mijn Taal Verlichting (TV).

 

Ik ben verlicht en daarom kan ik dus bewust BT hebben, die mij niet meer – zoals bij anderen, die het grote verschil tussen BT en Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) nog niet kennen –  zomaar ineens ontglipt. Voor mij gaat mijn BT altijd verder, omdat het geen toevals-treffer is, dat ik het heb. Zij, die niet eens in de gaten hebben, dat ze, vanuit hun conditionerings geschiedenis – maar tegen hun wil – meedoen met OT, kunnen slechts korstondige momenten van BT ervaren, omdat ze nog niet over het vermogen beschikken, om vaardig en bewust BT te hebben.

 

Het verkrijgen van de behendigheid en het gemak, om elke dag BT te kunnen hebben, vergt van ons, dat wij alles wat onze aandacht vraagt, aandacht geven, door er hardop met onszelf over te praten, zodat wij het daarbij horende stemgeluid kunnen signaleren, wat aangeeft, of wij ons in OT of in BT begeven. Het is verschil is heel duidelijk hoorbaar en voelbaar. We kunnen onze OT alleen stoppen, indien wij het als zodanig herkennen. Het stopt vanzelf en daarom heeft het geen zin, om te proberen, om BT te hebben. We willen, zogezegd, altijd BT hebben, omdat we OT hebben, maar dat nog niet onderkennen.

 

Ervaring heeft mij geleerd, dat als ik aandacht geef aan wat mijn aandacht vraagt, door naar mijzelf te luisteren, terwijl ik aan mijzelf vertel, wat er aan de hand is, dan lost wat er in mijn aandacht is vanzelf op. Het komt er daarom op aan, om in mijn eigen bewoording te blijven en om alleen zo te spreken, dat ik het belangrijk vind en daarbij de stem-klank produceer, die tot gevolg heeft, dat ik kan begrijpen  hoe het nou eigenlijk zit. Ik weet – omdat ik dit al zo vaak heb gedaan – dat wat ik echt wil en daarom kan zeggen, alleen dan pas door mij gezegd gaat worden, als ik er alle tijd voor neem, aandachtig met mezelf spreek en luister naar de klank. Daarom is voor iedereen die BT kan hebben, spreken met zichzelf belangrijker dan het spreken met anderen en neemt iemand die OT van BT kan onderscheiden vanzelf-sprekend niet langer meer deel aan OT.  

 

Onze leven’s energie wordt constant verspild, door de onbewuste wijze waarop wij met onze taal zijn blijven omgaan. Het is verbazingwekkend, dat wij nog niet eerder met onszelf zijn gaan praten over het verschil tussen OT en BT. Daarom ervaren wij de overgang van OT naar BT als iets weldadigs, omdat wij de energie weer in ons terug voelen stromen. Je hoort en weet meteen, dat je op het juiste spoor zit.

 

Ook al heb ik al vele jaren in toenemende mate BT en in afnemende mate OT, ik kon – omdat ik het er nog niet met mezelf in het Nederlands over gehad had – nog steeds nog niet over mijn TV spreken. Dat is sinds gisteren ineens veranderd en ik heb daarom nu het gevoel, dat ik in het Nederlands verder wil gaan. Als men praat over bewustzijn, dan gaat het altijd over het zijn van een soort van toeschouwer over je eigen gedachten. Dit is onzin, want er zijn geen gedachten in ons hoofd, er is alleen maar taal, die gesproken, gehoord, geschreven of gelezen kan worden. Wat wij, vanuit OT, bewustzijn noemen, is, in BT, wat wij aan onszelf te zeggen hebben. Anders gezegd, wij zijn onbewust, zolang wij nog niet met onszelf hebben gesproken, omdat het gesprek met anderen zogenaamd belangrijker was. Daarom is het moment, waarop wij het gigantische verschil tussen OT en BT horen, eveneens de realizatie van onze TV.

 

Al onze problemen komen voort en hangen altijd samen met onze automatische deelname aan BT en daarom blijven wij onszelf eindeloos herhalen, met als onvermijdelijk gevolg, dat onze levens-situatie zich alsmaar verder verslechterd. Hierin komt alleen maar een werkelijke kentering, wanneer onze OT begint af te nemen, zo dat onze BT begint toe te nemen. Dit wonderlijke, weldadige proces voltrekt zich, omdat wij aandacht schenken aan onze taal. Het is ons onmiddelijk en moeiteloos helder, dat wij, in het moment waarop wij van OT naar BT overgaan, worden bevrijd van een gigantische ballast, die wij tot dusver met ons mee waren blijven zeulen. Deze bevinding op zichzelf is onze TV, maar, het feit blijft, dat wij nog niet uitvoerig over onze conditionering met OT hebben gesproken en daarom de draad met onze BT, keer op keer, ongemerkt, weer kwijt raken.

 

De voortgang van onze BT hangt af van of wij wel hebben benoemd en daarom dus aan de weet zijn gekomen, hoe OT werkt. Over BT valt echter niets te weten, want het gaat geheel vanzelf. Ofschoon onze beschrijving, aan onszelf, van wat OT met ons heeft gedaan, een emotioneel en ingrijpend proces is, zijn wij lucht-hartig over deze prachtige transformatie, omdat wij, door het spreken en horen van onze BT, eindelijk onze intelligentie zijn gaan te gebruiken. In BT spreken of schrijven wij niet vanuit herinnering, maar wat er op dit moment gebeurd en daarom kan onze taal of wij voor heen onze aandacht noemden, stromen met onze altijd veranderende ervaringen.  

 

Het weten, dat zich in onze voortgaande BT vanzelf ontvouwt, is een heel ander weten, dan wat wij met moeite en daarom met OT hebben verkregen. Onze zogenaamde kennis is waardeloos, ten opzichte van wat wij met onze BT onherroepelijk over onszelf aan de weet komen. Onze met BT-vergaarde zelf-kennis gaat volledig tegen alle andere, met OT-vergaarde, kennis in, omdat die geforceerde en daarom zeer schadelijke kennis, onze spontane, natuurlijke en vanzelf-sprekende zelf-kennis altijd heeft onkend.

 

Sinds mijn emigratie, in 1999, naar de Verenigde Staten, ben ik nooit meer terug geweest naar mijn moeder-land, maar in dit Nederlandse schrijven over mijn TV, is het alsof ik wederom contact maak met alles wat ik toen achter mij heb gelaten. Ik voel mij hierover echter niet sentimenteel en maak dus daarom geen reis per vliegtuig, maar met mijn BT. Ik ben nu daarom, nadat ik dit alles heb geschreven en heb gelezen, zonder taal. Als ik ophoud met typen op mijn toetsen-boord, als ik niets meer zeg, hoor of lees, ervaar ik diepe stilte, waarin alles is opgelost.               

 

Revaluation,

 

Of course it is still necessary for me to talk about my Embodied Language (EL ) again and again – in Dutch – because it is such a subtle thing, that is forever anchored in the language I grew up with. The possibility to direct all my attention – through speaking, listening, writing and reading – to my EL, is only available to me in American or English, after my past has been given its full expression with the Dutch language.

 

I hadn't had this completely clear before, because, involuntarily, because of my emigration to the United States and my many years of studying and teaching Psychology, I had continued with my language in English. I now have a revaluation of my original language that enables me to speak about my Language Enlightenment (LE) in a way I was not aware of before.

 

It is important for me and for everyone, who wants EL, to let ourselves know that we don't really have to say anything and that our LE only shows itself - with our EL - when this is actually the case. The compulsion to use our language in a certain way is the cause of Disembodied Language (DL). It is always about fear of rejection, through which we force ourselves to continue with DL. And, in DL, we mask that fear, which is associated with arrogance, amusement, superstition, anger, sadness, and dissatisfaction, by pretending that we don't depend on others to be liked. I have turned my back on my family because of my discovery of EL, but because of  the many traumas I went through in my childhood, I unwillingly kept having DL with them, over and over again. The distance was created by my departure to another continent in 1999, but also by continuing my happy life in English with my dear wife Bonnie.

 

Today, I suddenly realize the beauty and simplicity of my native Dutch language and experience a deep emotion. I would have loved to have EL with my family, of course, and would have loved it if people recognized and respected me for my ability to talk with my EL about my LE, but that never happened and that will probably never happen and that has caused me a lot of pain and sadness for a long time. As I mentioned, my dissatisfaction, anger, and loss was part of my ability to allow DL to be what it is and to come to know, that I really didn't want it. I continued not only in English, but with EL, because I started to leave all the struggles behind me. My EL enabled me to do this, but now that I write about this history in Dutch, I know that my LE has made me come full circle with my Dutch language.

 

I had to laugh at myself when I recently said out loud - in Dutch - to myself: be quiet Max, just rest. By talking aloud to myself again, I let myself know that thinking, that language, which, supposedly, is inside of our head, is an illusion and that I - because everyone believes, one thinks, as everyone says, one has an inner self or a mind – am imperceptibly influenced by the DL of others. My actual language is EL but everyone has DL and only I am normal.

 

Everyone with DL is abnormal. It will probably always be necessary for me to say aloud to myself – both in Dutch and in English – that I find DL really abnormal, because I can speak and write from my LE. It's such a comforting thing to realize there's nothing wrong at all, to tell myself repeatedly that there really isn't anything to say and so I don't need to talk about anything, because I don't believe in thinking. So, yes, I don't have a self that would want to express itself, because that's not how my LE and my EL work. It's such a relief that I finally started talking about my LE recently, because that's really the only reason I - or anyone - can have EL.

 

I am doing myself a great favor in putting this so calmly today, because only I can do it in that way. Nobody owes me anything and I don't owe anything to anyone. However, I am convinced, that it is the same for everyone in this respect, because unless we start saying to ourselves with EL what our LE means, we will stay busy with words and again get caught up in DL. This has happened to me so many times, yet every time I came out of it effortlessly with my EL. Even though I speak many words and write many pages, there is no pressure whatsoever and I don't have to do this, but I want to do it because I can do it and enjoy it so much.

 

Finally, I would like to express my gratitude to and admiration for my Dutch friend AnnaMieke, with whom I – and through whom I – can experience this revaluation of my Dutch language. Moreover, our friendship goes beyond language, because we were able to realize our LE together. It is really true that we are both enlightened. It has never happened before that two people, talking with themselves and with each other, started to describe their LE with their EL. It is really true, we are without language when, because of our EL, we are no longer speaking, listening, writing or reading. Experiencing our LE together is possible for everyone, yet AnnaMieke is, so far, still the only one who, like me, wants and can do this. I therefore read her beautiful blog written in Dutch every day (klompanna2.blogspot.com) and I am probably able to speak and write in Dutch again today, because of this. Everything that was good in the family I grew up in - there was still a lot of good - comes alive and has its place in my EL.

 

Herwaardering,

 

Uiteraard is het voor mij nog steeds noodzakelijk, om het keer op keer – in het Nederlands – over mijn Belichaamde Taal (BT) te hebben, omdat het zoiets subtiels is, dat nou eenmaal voorgoed verankerd ligt in de taal waarmee ik opgroeide. De mogelijkheid, om al mijn aandacht – via het spreken, luisteren, schrijven en lezen – naar mijn BT te laten gaan, is voor mij alleen in het Amerikaans of in het Engels aanwezig, nadat mijn verleden met de Nederlandse taal zijn volledige expressie heeft kunnen krijgen.

 

Ik had dit nog niet eerder helemaal helder, omdat ik, onwillekeurig, vanwege mijn emigratie naar de Verenigde Staten en mijn vele jaren Psychologie studie en leraarschap, in het Engels verder was gegaan met mijn taal. Ik heb nu een herwaardering van mijn oorspronkelijke taal, die mij in staat stelt om over mijn Taal Verlichting (TV) te spreken, op een manier, die ik nog niet eerder had ontdekt.

 

Het is voor mij en voor iedereen die BT wil hebben van belang, om aan onszelf te laten weten, dat wij dus eigenlijk niets hoeven te zeggen en dat onze TV zich alleen dan pas toont – met onze BT – wanneer dit daadwerkelijk het geval is. De dwang, om onze taal op een bepaalde manier te moeten gebruiken, is de oorzaak van Ontlichaamde Taal (OT). Het gaat daarbij altijd om angst voor afwijzing, waardoor wij onszelf opleggen, om met OT verder te gaan. En, we maskeren in OT die angst, die ook samenhangt met arrogantie, amusement, bijgeloof, woede, verdriet en ontevredenheid, door maar te pretenderen, dat wij niet afhankelijk zouden zijn van anderen, om aardig gevonden te worden. Ik heb, vanwege mijn ontdekking van BT, mijn familie de rug toegekeerd, aangezien ik, door de vele traumas, die ik in mijn jeugd heb meegemaakt, met hen toch telkens weer in OT belandde. Het creeren van afstand gebeurde door mijn vertrek naar een ander continent in 1999, maar ook, doordat ik in het Engels verder ging met mijn gelukkige leven, met mijn lieve vrouw Bonnie.

 

Ik realiseer mij vandaag ineens de schoonheid en de eenvoud van de Nederlandse taal en ervaar daarbij een diepe ontroering. Ik had natuurlijk heel graag BT met mijn familie willen hebben en zou het heel fijn hebben gevonden, als men mij – vanwege mijn vermogen, om het met mijn BT over mijn TV te hebben – zou hebben erkend en gerespecteerd, maar dat is nooit gebeurd en dat gaat waarschijnlijk ook nooit gebeuren en dat heeft mij lange tijd heel veel pijn en verdriet gedaan. Zoals gezegd, was mijn onvrede, kwaadheid en verlorenheid, onderdeel van mijn vermogen, om OT te kunnen laten zijn wat het is en om aan de weet te kunnen komen, dat ik dat eigenlijk helemaal niet wilde. Ik ging niet alleen in het Engels, maar juist met BT verder, omdat ik alle strijd achter me begon te laten. Mijn BT stelde mij hiertoe in staat, maar nu ik in het Nederlands over deze geschiedenis schrijf, weet ik, dat mijn TV mij heeft doen terugkeren naar mijn Nederlandse taal.

 

Ik moest enorm om mezelf lachen, toen ik laatst hardop – in het Nederlands – tegen mezelf zei: wees stil Max, rust nou maar uit. Door weer eens hardop met mijzelf te praten, liet ik mijzelf, alsnog weten, dat denken, dat taal, die zogenaamd in ons hoofd zit een illusie is en dat ik – omdat iedereen gelooft, dat men denkt, omdat men zegt, dat men een innerlijk zelf of mind heeft – ongemerkt wordt beinvloed door de OT van anderen. Mijn eigenlijke taal is BT, maar iedereen heeft OT en alleen ik ben normaal.

 

Iedereen met OT is abnormaal. Waarschijnlijk zal het voor mij altijd wel nodig blijven, om hardop aan mezelf te zeggen – zowel in het Nederlands, als in het Engels – dat ik OT echt abnormaal vind, omdat ik vanuit mijn TV kan spreken en schrijven. Het is zo iets geruststellends, om te beseffen, dat er helemaal niets verkeerd is, om herhaaldelijk tegen mezelf te zeggen, dat er echt niets te zeggen is en dat ik het dus nergens over hoef te hebben, omdat ik niet in het denken geloof. Ik heb dus geen zelf, dat zich zou willen uiten, want zo werkt mijn TV en mijn BT niet. Het is zo’n opluchting, dat ik eindelijk onlangs over mijn TV ben durven gaan praten, want dat is echt de enige reden, dat ik - of wie dan ook- BT kan hebben.

 

Ik doe mezelf een groot genoegen, door dit vandaag zo kalm te verwoorden, omdat alleen ik dat zo kan doen. Niemand is iets aan mij verplicht en ik ben ook aan niemand iets verplicht. Ik ben er echter van overtuigd, dat het voor iedereen hetzelfde is in dit opzicht, want tenzij wij met BT tegen onszelf gaan zeggen, wat onze TV inhoudt, blijven wij bezig met woorden en raken wij wederom verstrikt in OT. Dit is mij zo vaak overkomen, maar toch kwam ik er elke keer weer moeiteloos met mijn BT uit. Ook al zeg ik veel woorden en schrijf ik vele bladzijdes, er is geen enkele druk en ik hoef dit niet te doen, maar ik wil het doen, omdat ik het kan en er zo van geniet.

 

Tot slot wil ik mijn dank en bewondering betuigen aan mijn Nederlandse vriendin AnnaMieke, met wie ik – en door wie ik – deze herwaardering van mijn Nederlandse taal mee mag maken. Bovendien gaat onze vriendschap verder dan taal, omdat wij samen onze TV hebben mogen realiseren. Het is echt waar, dat wij beiden verlicht zijn. Het is nog nooit eerder gebeurd, dat twee mensen, in gesprek met zichzelf en met elkaar, met hun BT gestalte begonnen te geven aan hun TV.  Het is echt waar, dat wij zonder taal zijn, als wij, vanwege onze BT, zijn uitgesproken, uitgeluisterd, uitgeschreven en uitgelezen. Het samen meemaken van TV is mogelijk voor iedereen en toch is AnnaMieke, tot dusver, nog steeds, de enige, die dit, net als ik, ook wil en kan. Ik lees dan ook iedere dag haar in het Nederlands geschreven prachtige blog (klompanna2.blogspot.com) en ben waarschijnlijk ook juist daardoor vandaag in staat, om ook weer in het Nederlands te spreken en te schrijven. Alles wat goed was in het gezin waarin ik opgroeide – en er was toch ook veel goeds – komt hierdoor tot leven en heeft z’n plaats in mijn BT.        

 

Unless,

 

Unless you engage in Embodied Language (EL), you cannot express who you are. With Disembodied Language (DL), you can only say, who you believe to be, but that is not who you are. Therefore, only EL makes you feel satisfied and happy and continuing with your DL, implies that your language produces nothing but negativity for you. The fact, that you have never looked into this, is because you don’t listen to yourself while you speak. If you did, you would hear, your unnatural voice is wearing you out.

 

In DL, you endlessly wait for something positive to happen, but it never really happens, even though you believe, you are on the right path. Basically, in DL, good feelings, presumably, come later, however, you don’t even realize, your use of language makes you postpone and forget about who you really are. Unless you engage in EL, there can be no happiness.

 

Neither your DL nor your EL is a belief. You really either engage in one or the other and unless you accept this truth, you will unconsciously engage in DL, while still believing you engage in EL. We go on with our own self-imposed version of EL – which is DL – because we have never explored the immense difference between our DL and EL. In other words, you have never stopped your DL, so that you could continue with your EL. Unless, you do that, you are unable to recognize and enjoy, that your EL makes you still, as it immediately fulfills and nourishes you.  

 

In DL, people say nonsensical things like: nobody can make you feel inferior, unless you believe it. In EL, it is very clear to you, your self-confidence is not a belief, but depends on how you use language. Of course, you’ve had some EL, but you didn’t engage in it consciously, skillfully and continuously. Quite to the contrary, you only had EL, accidentally, briefly and unknowingly. It happened because it could happen, but it was gone as quickly as it came and you didn’t know how to get it back. Your inability to find back – with language – your own wellbeing, sets the stage for all sorts of mental health issues.

 

Normally, due to your habitual involvement in DL, you remain preoccupied with what you believe to be your language, your political, religious, cultural convictions, your so-called values or morals – which you describe, as thinking or your mind – but this common obsession with imaginary language, which, presumably, happens inside of your brain, keeps you fearful, stressed, frustrated, confused and worried.

 

Unless you manage to stop your DL – by speaking out loud with yourself, by listening to the sound of your own voice and by acknowledging, that you are always on the run – you cannot and will not engage in restful, peaceful, natural, effortless EL, which has always only positive consequences. One of the most astonishing outcomes of your EL is, that you will feel still – without any words or any language – because you have literally said everything, you wanted to say and what you were able to say. Like nothing else, your total verbal expression will invite your silence. This is your Language Enlightenment (LE) and unless you begin to talk about and listen to, who you really are, so that you can write and read about, your way of using your EL, it will be unable to continue, as you are unaware and ignore how you use your language.      

 

What I write about EL and LE is my own experience and you will have to rely on your own experience, to discover and explore your EL and your LE. Now that I have had so much EL, I was laughing at myself, as I was saying: now be quiet Maximus and rest. I need to say this to myself, because unless I do this, I don’t enjoy my silence and peacefulness. Of course, it is because I have had so much EL, I can now not only say this, but really experience this. It feels so good.

 

Just,

 

We have only just begun to recognize – due to our preference for and our exploration of our Embodied Language (EL) – that it is wonderful to be without language. The difference between our Disembodied Language (DL) and EL, wasn’t clear to us, therefore, we inadvertently, unconsciously, continued with our DL. It was never before mentioned or noticed, that if we stop speaking, if we stop listening, if we stop writing and if we stop reading, we are, momentarily,  without language. This discovery could only be done with our EL, as with DL, we can never be without language, that is why DL, our usual way of dealing with language, cannot make us peaceful and still.

 

The moment in which we can be truly without any language, only occurs in EL, but never in DL, as only in our EL do we use our language correctly. Only after we have – to our hearts content – spoken with ourselves and listened to ourselves, only after we have, repeatedly, written and read about our own experience, our own writing and description about this magnificent process, can we be utterly quiet.

 

Initially, we just couldn’t believe it, that we were able to stop our own DL, by merely admitting what we were actually doing. It had never occurred to us before, that our common way of talking determined how we use our language. One moment – when we were calmly talking out loud with ourselves, about what we were experiencing, while we were talking with others – we suddenly feel strikingly different. Our own DL had just stopped by itself, as we finally acknowledged to ourselves, our own stress, worry, frustration, defensiveness, chaos and confusion. In effect, we feel very happy about the fact, that we were able to say to ourselves, we were unhappy.

 

DL and EL are mutually exclusive and only after our DL has been is stopped, is our EL possible. It just happens, the moment that our DL stops. We feel this difference between our DL and EL as a big relief. This isn’t just like any other experience, as it is truly mind-blowing. Without any practice or preparation, we suddenly know, we engage in EL, as what we say and how we sound is making so much sense. It just so happens, that we express our own intelligence.

 

You just can’t get enough of exploring your EL, as it reveals to you, who you really are. Even though it is a big challenge, to stop your own DL and to step out of your own conditioning history, you just do it and you know you do it, each time you do it, as your EL has immediate positive consequences, which satisfy your need for instant gratification. When you take your first steps in EL, you simply speak out loud with yourself and you just trust, that your happy sound  leads you to good things. You just want to talk some more with yourself, to verify if it is true and it is.

 

As you become clear, energized, fulfilled and happy, because you have stopped your DL and you prolong your experience of EL, you know, you just want to continue doing that. Above all, you feel grounded, equanimous, balanced, conscious, deliberate, skillful, certain and strong, as you have a different perception and orientation. Surely, EL is the correct use of your language, as it changes your life for the better. You achieve and know this, as you are aware, it has nothing to do with so-called inner bliss. To the contrary, it is because of the expression of your own EL, you begin to appreciate being without language.

 

We were born without language and many of us, as we get older, forget about our language. However, most of us frantically hang on to whatever we have put together with our language. It is, so to speak, who we belief to be. However, we are never, who we believe to be. I heard the song Cozy on the radio, by Beyonce. She sings, she feels so happy in her own skin, but someone who is happy, doesn’t sound like that, speak like that or act like that. With our DL, we can only be what we believe or pretend to be with our language. DL is just all make-believe.

 

Being without our language is like death. During our EL, we die to our past, as we are constantly new. It is just amazing, to have EL, as we come to terms with our mortality. Another way of saying this, is our EL informs us about our Language Enlightenment (LE). There is nothing to fantasize about death and there is nothing to dream about being without language. Yes, our EL just stimulates dreamless, deep, restful sleep, but our DL gives us nightmares and insomnia.

 

Eternal,

 

I have time, to write this. I take time, to say this. I enjoy to write or hear this and I love to read my own texts out loud, because for me, language is my eternal subject. Every day, my attention is allowed to be absorbed by my speaking, listening, writing and reading. Although I also do a few other things, they happen, because of how I deal with language. My Embodied Language (EL) is about my eternal truths, which are true and eternal, because they have fresh meanings for me, as I experience my individuality as separate from any social situation.

 

I live a simple, orderly, happy life and EL has made this possible. It wasn’t always like this. When I was  unconsciously, like everyone else, participating in Disembodied Language (DL), I had many problems, conflicts and struggles, but somehow the negative experiences decreased to a minimum. Sometimes, it feels, as if I still put myself through another one of those hassles, to remind myself, where I’m coming from and how I came to live such a blissful life.   

 

I am glad, unashamed and even amused, I still have some moments of despair, confusion or frustration, as my negative experiences are already over, before I even become aware about them. This used to be the case with my positive experiences. As a child, I always wanted them to last longer, as I felt, I hadn’t experienced it long enough. Also, in the past, I got very angry, whenever my short-lived good feelings were again coming to an end, usually because of my own actions, especially by something that I had said.

 

I have gone through a lot of trauma and abuse. As a teenager and as a young man, I experienced a sense of eternal sadness. My tears would flow so easily, as they gave me the comfort, I couldn’t find anywhere. People described me as wearing my heart on my sleeve and envied me for my eternal enthusiasm, energy and youthfulness. I was always concerned about why am here and what am I supposed to do? I had many different jobs and whenever I was again without work, I would roam around town on my bicycle, in the hope to find someone to talk with, but I ended alone, sitting near a canal, on the beach,  in the dunes, in a park or in a coffee shop. I tried to figure out my eternal sense of dissatisfaction.

 

Being angry with myself, for messing things up, has been a part of my so-called personality for a long time, but at this point, I don’t get upset anymore, because it seems, as if I can’t do anything wrong. I know this sounds preposterous, but I used to be so very different in the past, when I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I guess, I had somehow learned to fulfill the expectations of my family, who believed I would fail at everything I did. I proved them right and I didn’t do anything, that pleased any of them.

 

I was, as people would often literally tell me, my own worst enemy, but today there is almost nothing wrong about me anymore. Everything feels so good, so fitting, so clear and so welcome. I used to feel so out of place, rejected, abandoned and betrayed, but now I can’t help feeling so fortunate, unconcerned, free and accepted. I am proud of and satisfied with what I have achieved, as I have made this possible. I don’t owe anything to anyone and those, who have the integrity and courage to talk with me, find out, they don’t owe me anything either, although they can feel and express their enlightenment with me.

 

In EL, we experience our eternal bliss, which is our Language Enlightenment (LE). Those who have EL, meet without any strings attached, because their language can flow. Being without language, when we don’t speak, don’t listen, don’t write and don’t read, is only a pleasant experience, if we have been able to fully express ourselves. This timelessness, which we experience without language, allow us to put things together in a new way. We reformulate and reinterpret our reality after we switch from DL to EL. Small, ordinary events may seem like little miracles, as everything becomes equally important. Even though we realize our LE with our EL, there is no goal to be achieved with our language and this unleashes our intelligence. These words express my living knowledge, not something I have rehearsed or memorized. Moreover, I couldn’t writing like this, if I couldn’t speak like this. Obviously, I speak with and write for myself, but anyone who listens to me or who reads my work, is bound to recognize and feel that what I say or write, is true for them as well.   

 

You may not have fully acknowledged this, but your DL, which is our usual way of dealing with language, is eternal punishment, while EL represents eternal happiness. Nevertheless, I don’t speak or write on behalf of others,  yet, when you speak with yourself or write to yourself, you will experience, why this way of using your language works so beautifully for you too. There cannot be anything that remains unsaid, unexpressed, unwritten, as EL allows us to say exactly what we want to say and also prevents and protects us from saying what we don’t want to say. The latter makes the former possible. Initially, we are confronted with a lot of things, we habitually were inclined to remain busy with, as we considered them to be important, but these beliefs fall by the way side, as they turn out to be irrelevant to us.

 

Our so-called identity, that is, everything we have been repeating with our language, over and over again, dissolves in EL. We are not talking or writing according to our conditioning, but we express, who we have always been without language. Yes, we are eternally grateful, relieved and energized to be and to remain, longer and longer, without any language.

 

Of course, it is easy to understand, the description is not the described and your name is not who you are. However, we will only stop identifying with our language, when we stop our DL and have EL. We believe we identify with our body, but it is because of DL, that we ignore the fact that we identify with language. One moment, we still speak or we hear something and the next moment, words are gone and nothing is heard anymore. One moment, we write something and, then, we have written what we wanted to write, it is gone and we have nothing to write anymore. Furthermore, what we have written, was already read while we were writing it and there is no urge to read it again. Our silence is eternal and pure, as we keep making it happen.      

 

Ever,

 

I wonder, when is it ever going to happen, that people – who are into science, who are on TV, on the radio, who are into politics, into academia, into writing books and publishing articles, who are into advertising or into community organizing – are going to talk about the fact, that there is not and there has never been any language inside of us? If they do, they should definitely be talking with me, as I know how to create Embodied Language (EL), in which we can get clear about that. Without any doubt, our EL shows us, we don’t have any thoughts or a mind. All of this absolute nonsense was created and maintained by our Disembodied Language (DL), which wouldn’t allow us, to ever even question the assumption, that words and sentences can come out of us, which, supposedly, were first inside of us. 

 

There never ever was any language inside of us and this idea, that it is possible, to express, overtly, what we previously, presumably, covertly, internally, quietly, were saying to ourselves, is an unintelligent, troublesome belief about our language. Fact is, our language didn’t happen in that way, although we keep on talking, as if this is how it occurs. Unless we are going to address this issue – in the name of our survival from the total madness – which is tearing us apart, there is no hope for mankind. If we are ever going to listen to ourselves while we speak and engage in EL with one another, we will witness an explosion of creativity, instead of the atomic bomb.

 

I know very well, it is considered heretic, to point out the immense difference between DL and EL and the fact, that nobody ever responds to my writing on this blog, illustrates what an enormous taboo it is, to have realized my Language Enlightenment (LE). Only someone, who is willing to admit, to himself or to herself, that he or she is already enlightened, can engage in EL. Stated differently, only someone, who is conscious about language – and, therefore, willing and capable of bringing all of his or her attention to how he or she speaks, listens, writes and reads – is going to reap the fruits of his or her actions. There is endless regret about everything we do, as long as we keep stupidly and unknowingly engaging in DL.

 

Negative feelings – about any topic – always refer to our own involvement in DL. When we take time, to speak with ourselves about our own experience and listen to the sound of our own voice, we can’t help but notice, we just don’t like to hear what we say. Commonly, we can’t stand listening to the negativity of others, but we hate it even more, to listen to our own frustration, anger, sadness, confusion or stress. However, if we continue to listen to ourselves, in spite of the fact, that we really don’t like what we are feeling, we would hear, that our voice, suddenly, changes and that we have switched from DL to EL.

 

Although this is not a miracle or some fantasy, when we shift from DL to EL, we are, all of a sudden, filled with delight and energy, because our language is working for instead of against us, even if it lasts only for a few moments. Of course, if we talk out loud with ourselves more often, EL goes on longer and it will take less time, to step out of our conditioning history with DL. Actually, we will witness the same, beautiful phenomenon, each moment, we manage to free ourselves from the conversation with others – which is mostly DL – and speak with ourselves and listen to our voice. In other words, by doing this, we create for ourselves the opportunity to engage in EL.

 

By exploring our own EL, we will acquire the skill to adjust our language to our happiness and success. It is quite apparent to us, this has nothing whatsoever to do with something imaginary inside of us, as we truly produce a different sound in DL and EL. Stated differently, our energy has changed and our ability to verbalize our own experience is very enjoyable and revealing. Furthermore, the self-knowledge we express in EL, creates a selection process, in which behaviors, which – like DL – were working against us, are no longer happening. We don’t do anything to change, as these changes happen by themselves, as we have started to use our language effectively.  

 

While we discover and investigate EL on our own, at some point, we find ourselves capable of having EL with others. This is our most exquisite experience ever, as everything we have become aware of alone, is then reinforced by someone else, who, like us, has done their home-work. Engaging in EL with others is celebrating our LE together. There is only gratitude, after we were able to stop our DL and engage in EL.