Eternal,

 

I have time, to write this. I take time, to say this. I enjoy to write or hear this and I love to read my own texts out loud, because for me, language is my eternal subject. Every day, my attention is allowed to be absorbed by my speaking, listening, writing and reading. Although I also do a few other things, they happen, because of how I deal with language. My Embodied Language (EL) is about my eternal truths, which are true and eternal, because they have fresh meanings for me, as I experience my individuality as separate from any social situation.

 

I live a simple, orderly, happy life and EL has made this possible. It wasn’t always like this. When I was  unconsciously, like everyone else, participating in Disembodied Language (DL), I had many problems, conflicts and struggles, but somehow the negative experiences decreased to a minimum. Sometimes, it feels, as if I still put myself through another one of those hassles, to remind myself, where I’m coming from and how I came to live such a blissful life.   

 

I am glad, unashamed and even amused, I still have some moments of despair, confusion or frustration, as my negative experiences are already over, before I even become aware about them. This used to be the case with my positive experiences. As a child, I always wanted them to last longer, as I felt, I hadn’t experienced it long enough. Also, in the past, I got very angry, whenever my short-lived good feelings were again coming to an end, usually because of my own actions, especially by something that I had said.

 

I have gone through a lot of trauma and abuse. As a teenager and as a young man, I experienced a sense of eternal sadness. My tears would flow so easily, as they gave me the comfort, I couldn’t find anywhere. People described me as wearing my heart on my sleeve and envied me for my eternal enthusiasm, energy and youthfulness. I was always concerned about why am here and what am I supposed to do? I had many different jobs and whenever I was again without work, I would roam around town on my bicycle, in the hope to find someone to talk with, but I ended alone, sitting near a canal, on the beach,  in the dunes, in a park or in a coffee shop. I tried to figure out my eternal sense of dissatisfaction.

 

Being angry with myself, for messing things up, has been a part of my so-called personality for a long time, but at this point, I don’t get upset anymore, because it seems, as if I can’t do anything wrong. I know this sounds preposterous, but I used to be so very different in the past, when I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I guess, I had somehow learned to fulfill the expectations of my family, who believed I would fail at everything I did. I proved them right and I didn’t do anything, that pleased any of them.

 

I was, as people would often literally tell me, my own worst enemy, but today there is almost nothing wrong about me anymore. Everything feels so good, so fitting, so clear and so welcome. I used to feel so out of place, rejected, abandoned and betrayed, but now I can’t help feeling so fortunate, unconcerned, free and accepted. I am proud of and satisfied with what I have achieved, as I have made this possible. I don’t owe anything to anyone and those, who have the integrity and courage to talk with me, find out, they don’t owe me anything either, although they can feel and express their enlightenment with me.

 

In EL, we experience our eternal bliss, which is our Language Enlightenment (LE). Those who have EL, meet without any strings attached, because their language can flow. Being without language, when we don’t speak, don’t listen, don’t write and don’t read, is only a pleasant experience, if we have been able to fully express ourselves. This timelessness, which we experience without language, allow us to put things together in a new way. We reformulate and reinterpret our reality after we switch from DL to EL. Small, ordinary events may seem like little miracles, as everything becomes equally important. Even though we realize our LE with our EL, there is no goal to be achieved with our language and this unleashes our intelligence. These words express my living knowledge, not something I have rehearsed or memorized. Moreover, I couldn’t writing like this, if I couldn’t speak like this. Obviously, I speak with and write for myself, but anyone who listens to me or who reads my work, is bound to recognize and feel that what I say or write, is true for them as well.   

 

You may not have fully acknowledged this, but your DL, which is our usual way of dealing with language, is eternal punishment, while EL represents eternal happiness. Nevertheless, I don’t speak or write on behalf of others,  yet, when you speak with yourself or write to yourself, you will experience, why this way of using your language works so beautifully for you too. There cannot be anything that remains unsaid, unexpressed, unwritten, as EL allows us to say exactly what we want to say and also prevents and protects us from saying what we don’t want to say. The latter makes the former possible. Initially, we are confronted with a lot of things, we habitually were inclined to remain busy with, as we considered them to be important, but these beliefs fall by the way side, as they turn out to be irrelevant to us.

 

Our so-called identity, that is, everything we have been repeating with our language, over and over again, dissolves in EL. We are not talking or writing according to our conditioning, but we express, who we have always been without language. Yes, we are eternally grateful, relieved and energized to be and to remain, longer and longer, without any language.

 

Of course, it is easy to understand, the description is not the described and your name is not who you are. However, we will only stop identifying with our language, when we stop our DL and have EL. We believe we identify with our body, but it is because of DL, that we ignore the fact that we identify with language. One moment, we still speak or we hear something and the next moment, words are gone and nothing is heard anymore. One moment, we write something and, then, we have written what we wanted to write, it is gone and we have nothing to write anymore. Furthermore, what we have written, was already read while we were writing it and there is no urge to read it again. Our silence is eternal and pure, as we keep making it happen.