Sound,  

 

Although I enjoy it and know it is true, what I say, is less important than how I sound. I can say and write this, because I overcame my fear, to create with my language, the situation in which I can feel safe. My hesitation, to surpass my conditioning – to let what I say or write or how I sound depend on others – began to dissolve, when I started to talk out loud with myself and listen to the sound of my voice. It is that sound, which resulted in this writing, which is read by me, in the same way, as I listen to myself.

 

I feel, while I speak or write, in my body, if I have Embodied Language (EL) or Disembodied Language (DL). There was a time, when I lost my EL again and again and engaged, to my own dismay, in DL. It felt, I had to search for my EL, but I found it back again. Then, I went through a phase, in which it became easier to have EL by myself, but now, I can no longer produce DL. Every time, I was able to stop my own DL, it felt so good, but currently, this is no more an issue for me, as the DL of others, doesn’t bother me anymore, as it used to. It used to really upset me.

 

I’ve had so much EL, that DL became insignificant to me. I just don’t care, that the whole world engages in DL, because I am able to continue with my EL. My attention goes to EL, not DL. Whenever I withdraw  from the violence – which, to me, DL is – I notice an immediate change in my energy. I now look back on a time, when I seemed to get a kick out my escape from dangerous situations. However, I was lacking,  the skill, to avoid these threatening circumstances altogether. I feel so happy, because I am capable of staying with my own EL. My EL effects all my other behaviors, in such a way, that I no longer experience the confrontations, I once believed to be necessary.

 

I used to feel invincible and without any boundaries and others were the only limit to my behavior, but now, due to my EL, I live within my means. This has made me feel as healthy, satisfied and calm, as I am today. I am reminded of the Latin saying: mens sana in corpore sano, a sound mind in a sound body. It came (100) from the Roman poet Juvenal, who also said what I say: what I commend to you, you can give to yourself. I believe, he too was talking to himself and his words are an early rendition of EL.

 

I have changed, not because there was anything wrong with my lively behavior, but because I don’t want to give anyone a chance to stop me. Stated differently, I can continue with my EL, which is not accepted by anyone and I live by my own authority, which is my intelligence. My positivity derives from who I am and how express myself in my speech and in my writings. I call it my Language Enlightenment (LE), as my EL expresses my truth, my consciousness and my bliss. This is my version of the Sanskrit term Sat-Chit-Ananda, which describes the spiritual nature of human beings, but, to me there is no spirituality, as everything is always about language.

 

Om or aum is a symbol supposedly representing a sacred sound, since we have never acknowledged the great difference between DL and EL. In other words, we have made our natural sound, while we speak, into something special, because we seldom if ever use it. There is no doubt about it, during EL we speak with the sound of our wellbeing. All of our superstitious spiritual and nonsensical philosophical mumbo jumbo derives from the simple fact, that we couldn’t and didn’t speak with our authentic sound.

 

Nobody can come between me and my EL and this is my LE. Those who have DL, have no influence on me whatsoever. Although I am aware, I was, like everyone else, undermined by DL, this deleterious effect no longer occurs, as it did in the past. If I feel sad, it is because I am able to have EL, but there is no one to have EL with. I accept that sadness, which has always been with me and which has helped me. However, I am not troubled by the many problems that are created by DL. It is my responsibility, which has allowed me, to move on with EL – even if this meant, I had to be alone – and to leave DL behind.  

 

There are two women, who make a big difference in my life: my loving wife Bonnie, with whom I have been married thirty-eight years and my loving Dutch friend AnnaMieke, with whom I talk every week. It is amazing how AnnaMieke and I have developed in recent months, because of our conversations and writings. She writes so beautiful about her EL on her blog (https://klompanna2.blogspot.com ), which I read almost every day. We are both surprised, delighted and grateful, about how we influence each other with our EL.   

 

I quit being a psychology instructor at Butt College, but also stopped teaching people about EL, because of my connection with AnnaMieke, who urged me to continue with my EL. We have together, with our EL, realized our LE. I’ve never heard or read about two people, who, due to their conversation, became enlightened together. AnnaMieke is the only person with whom I talk about all the ins and outs of EL. I would love share my EL with more people, but it is already good the way it is. After today, I will take a break from writing on my blog, as I feel something has been completed, which can now have its effect. Everyone is welcome to join us in our weekly skype conversations on Sunday, at 4:30 Pacific Standard Time. Kind greetings, my skype name is: limbicease       

 

Willingness (I rather translate it as preparedness. This text was first written in Dutch),

 

I am very motivated to write in Dutch, even though I only speak it once a week, with my Dutch Language friend AnnaMieke. Sometimes I also speak to myself in Dutch, because it is the language I grew up in, but since I have lived in America since 1999, I naturally mainly speak English. However, it is still important for me to write and speak about my Language Enlightenment (LE) with my Embodied Language (EL), in Dutch. Somehow, I find that more pleasant than speaking and writing about it in English.

 

I always welcome everyone's willingness to have EL with me, but immediately distance myself as soon as it comes to Disembodied Language (DL) again. When I longed for others, to have that preparedness  to leave DL behind and to cherish and explore EL, I was frustrated and sad, but now that this longing has disappeared, I feel positive and full of energy.

 

If there is no readiness in others to enter into EL with themselves, there is no point in me talking about it with them. I've learned the hard way, so to speak, but it's also because I'm actually the discoverer of EL and no one has done this before. Never before has anyone opposed conditioning with DL so skillfully, so explicitly, so passionately and with such unrepentant perseverance, because only in this way EL finally gets a chance to flourish.

 

The individual, who is willing 

to take note of what EL really 

is - and therefore not what we, 

still from our conditioning with 

DL, tend to believe it to be - 

has no choice, but to recognize, 

that it is indeed the language is 

of our enlightenment. At first, 

I was shocked and disappointed,

 to discover and admit to 

myself that this eagerness 

was not particularly great, 

but I gradually discovered, 

because of the recognition 

of my LE, that in fact that 

willingness is not even there 

at all. I couldn’t believe it, 

but it did. 

 

Now that I can - without any hesitation - speak and write with my EL about my LE, it is clear to me that what I for a long time considered, as the decidedly not very great enthusiasm of others, was nothing other than my own ability, to have EL with them. It always depended on me, whether there was EL or not. My LE finally made it clear to me, with my EL, that I didn't need to carry the flag for EL.

 

For my part, all my life – even before I discovered EL – there has was an inclination to have EL. When I didn't know that, it gave me many problems, which I overcame. This has made me a special person, but being a special person is not accepted because of the ubiquitous, dumbing down of DL. During DL, only herd behavior is valued, but not individuality. My indomitable willingness has been tested by others and exploited time and time again, but despite my trauma, I have come into my LE.

 

EL requires the authenticity to be absolutely honest with yourself. This comes about, when you talk to yourself all alone and listen to the sound of your own voice. You cannot avoid doing something with your voice, to sound friendly, confident, strong, calm, intelligent, interested, objective, reliable, rational, open or fun. If you talk to yourself long enough - about all kinds of things that are important to you - you will stop this unnatural voice, because only then will you hear what you sound like when you speak with your own voice and the sound of EL.

 

So, it is not a matter of greater, lesser, rational, emotional, moral, political or amusing willingness, because you are either ready or not. When you talk to yourself and listen to yourself, whether you want to admit it or not, you inevitably discover, that you are not willing to have EL, because you have been conditioned to have DL. The only thing you can do is to admit what you do not want to admit and that you have therefore continued to have DL out of habit. Yet, admitting that, stops your DL and then you experience a moment of EL. You will know when this happens because you sound so different.

 

Your preparedness to have BT is characterized by the correct tone of your voice, which you cannot produce if you still feel threatened, confused, angry or sad. All those negative emotions have nothing to do with EL at all. People say that they want to have positive emotions, but only say this because they feel negative. They also say whether something is funny or not, but only do this when it is not funny.  In DL, there's always this lousy, half-assed stuff.

 

I find it ridiculous that speakers, after they have finished speaking, repeatedly thank the audience for their so-called willingness to listen to them. In DL, people behave as if listening to a speaker is a reward for saying what the listener wants to hear. If you talk to yourself, however, you will discover that everything can and should be listened to and that your willingness to listen, does not depend on whether you want to hear or like to hear it or not.

 

In EL everything can flow, because we have the willingness to really listen to ourselves and to experience, that what we tell ourselves is true. It is true that we - unconsciously - concern ourselves almost exclusively with DL, because, supposedly, we ourselves cannot conceive of that possibility, to talk to ourselves and to listen to ourselves. But when we go to therapy, because of so-called psychological problems, the psychologists or therapists act with their voices, as if they accept us unconditionally, because we, supposedly, cannot do that ourselves.

 

Meeting,

 

In the encounter with myself, with my own language, I reinterpret my current experience and everything I have experienced. It's such a beautiful thing. Everywhere it is pretended, that we are all doing very well, with our so-called communication, but no one pays attention to the encounter with themselves, in Embodied Language (EL). To the extent that there is room for change, let alone for improvement, it is always the other person – but never ourselves – who needs to change or who urgently needs to stop their vile behavior.

 

In my experience, people who supposedly work on themselves, have the harshest judgments about others. Actually, they don't give a damn about others, because it is always only about their saintly, supposedly better, but arrogant behavior and never about a healthy, pleasant manner. When one talks about the problems in the world and what could or should be done about them, one involuntarily engages in group behavior that disregards any form of individuality.

 

Because of my encounter with myself, I do not feel the need to participate in Disembodied Language (DL), which almost everyone is involved in, because it is clear to me, the only solution to what we - as individuals - face as a problem, lies in talking to ourselves, listening to ourselves, writing to ourselves and reading and carrying out what we have written about ourselves. No one can do EL for me and that's why I'm okay with doing it for myself.

 

As long as I was busy with others with my language, I was engaging, without realizing it, like everyone else, in DL. However, my ability, in the encounter with myself, to take and keep my EL all to myself, showed me my Language Enlightenment (LE). Even while this was true, I was still trying, in vain, for a long time, to share my EL with others and to teach it to others, so to speak, but that has come to an end, now that my EL – the language that creates space – has become my way to celebrate my LE every day.

 

My LE is something very down-to-earth and very ordinary, but others, who are still under the spell of their DL, are inclined, because of that conditioning, to regard it as something spiritual. I discovered that what is described as religious, is always about our inability to encounter ourselves in our own language. Even though we imagine this, we never talk to God or to a higher power. And, although we  tell this to ourselves, we never talk to others, who, so to speak, take the place of that higher power. During EL, we talk to ourselves because that is the only basis on which we can really talk to others.

 

So in EL, we don't talk to others, as if we were talking to ourselves, but we talk to others in exactly the same way as we talk to ourselves. There is a reason why this has not yet happened, because everyone - due to modern conditioning with science, technology and the inevitable decline of the  belief in a higher power - continues to consider talking to others, also due to conditioning, to be more important than talking to ourselves. However, this inescapable, undeniable, mechanical habit can only be broken, if we start talking to ourselves and writing to ourselves more often, so that, listening to ourselves, reading & instructing ourselves, we start to appropriate our own language, that is, our EL.

 

I am suddenly reminded of how difficult it was for me to write a letter to my parents, when I left the Netherlands for the first time, hitchhiking, in the middle of a cold, snowy winter and had traveled to Israel via Luxembourg, France, Italy, Yugoslavia, Greece. Every time I finished writing a paragraph, I was dissatisfied with the result. Most letters were never sent and torn up again, because I could not put into words the enormous changes I was going through. I was, time and time again, overwhelmed, deeply moved, speechless, impressed by what I experienced, in all those new environments and circumstances, to which I had exposed myself, sometimes at great risk.

 

In the many wonderful encounters with unknown people, who suddenly wanted to share their lives, their culture and wealth with me, there was of course also a meeting with myself. Because I left them every time and traveled further, I began to break free from my own conditioning, that had led to the journey I was on. And, even though I continued traveling for years to come, my spiritual search for my so-called roots was actually over after that very first trip, in which I walked through Maastricht, Rome, Athens and Jerusalem. I knew my spirituality was over for good.

 

I grew up as the eldest son in a Catholic family and for me that meant that, despite the good aspects it had, I would continue to suffer from all kinds of guilt-feelings for many years. I actually did not want to believe, that what I had experienced was true and so I continued searching for years, even though I already knew, that my own experiences were more important than any of the spiritual, psychological, philosophical, artistic, freebooters, explorers, social, scientific, political, jacket, which I gave it.

 

When I discovered my EL, at the age of twenty-one – it could have been twenty-two or twenty-three – it really was just too good to be true. Even though I had already had years behind me, in which I had personally experienced and enjoyed, that I had enriched myself by indulging in all kinds of different cultures, climates, people and circumstances, my ability to recognize all this and to witness this in my language, only now seems to dawn on me. I really did all this and that is why I can now, while I have lived in America for more than twenty-four years, write about my LE with my EL, in Dutch (this text was first written in Dutch).

 

It is truly true that I am enlightened. I couldn't admit it or believe it until I had said it, heard it, written it or read it in the language I grew up in. My LE is not something spiritual, but something intellectual and emotional, because the rational aspect of my EL recognizes all my emotions. With my EL, I witness a beauty, naturalness and love that completely satisfies me. I am so happy and content, even though nothing is as I ever imagined it to be. My EL is not about my expectations, but about what is possible and that is why I can enjoy my LE with my EL. The weekend is just around the corner and I'm looking forward to having more time to celebrate even more with my language. In the encounter with myself, I let go of my language, as I have said and written everything, but also heard and read everything, what I wanted to say and write and what I wanted to hear and read.

 

 

Bereidheid,

 

Ik ben zeer gemotiveerd, om in het Nederlands te schrijven, ook al spreek ik het nog maar een keer in de week, met mijn Nederlandse Taal-vriendin AnnaMieke. Soms dan spreek ik ook nog met mijzelf in het Nederlands, omdat het de taal is, waarin ik opgroeide, maar aangezien ik sinds 1999 in Amerika woon, spreek ik natuurlijk hoofdzakelijk Engels. Het is nog steeds van belang voor mij, om, met mijn Belichaamde Taal (BT), in het Nederlands, over mijn Taal Verlichting (TV) te schrijven en te spreken. Op de een of andere manier vind ik dat prettiger, dan om er in het Engels over te spreken en te schrijven.

 

Ik begroet altijd ieders bereidheid, om samen met mij BT te hebben, maar neem direct afstand, zodra het weer om Ontlichaamde Taal (OT) gaat. Toen ik er nog naar verlangde, dat anderen, net zoals ik, ook die bereidheid zouden hebben, om OT achter zich te laten en om BT te koesteren en te onderzoeken, was ik gefrustreerd en verdrietig, maar nu dat verlangen is verdwenen, voel ik mij positief en vol energie.

 

Indien er vanuit anderen de bereidheid niet is, om BT met zichzelf aan te gaan, dan heeft het geen zin, dat ik het daar met hen over heb. Ik ben zogezegd door schade en schande wijs geworden, maar het is ook, omdat ik daadwerkelijk de ontdekker ben van BT, want niemand heeft dit ooit eerder gedaan. Nog nooit heeft iemand zich zo vakkundig, zo expliciet, zo gepassioneerd en met zo’n lange adem, tegen de conditionering met OT gekeerd, omdat alleen zo BT eindelijk een kans krijgt en kan worden voortgezet.

 

De enkeling, die de bereidheid heeft, om kennis te nemen van wat BT werkelijk is – en dus niet, wat wij, nog vanuit de conditionering met OT, geneigd zijn te geloven wat het is – kan niet anders, dan erkennen dat het de taal is van onze verlichting. Aanvankelijk was ik geschokt en teleurgesteld, om te ontdekken en aan mezelf toe te geven, dat die bereidheid niet bijzonder groot was, maar ik kwam er gaandeweg, vanwege de erkenning van mijn TV, achter, dat die bereidheid er dus eigenlijk helemaal niet eens is.

 

Nu ik – zonder schroom – met BT over mijn TV kan spreken en schrijven, is het mij duidelijk, dat wat ik lange tijd beschouwde, als die beslist niet bijzonder grote bereidheid van anderen, niets anders was dan mijn eigen vermogen, om BT met hen te kunnen hebben. Het hing altijd van mij af, of er BT was of niet. Mijn TV maakte ten lange leste, met mijn BT helder, dat ik geen vaandel-drager hoefde te zijn.

 

Van mijn kant is er al mijn hele leven – ook voordat ik BT ontdektte – de bereidheid geweest, om BT te hebben. Toen ik dat nog niet wist, gaf het me allerlei problemen, die ik heb overwonnen. Dit maakt mij tot een bijzonder persoon, maar het zijn van een speciaal iemand is, vanwege de alomtegenwoordige OT, niet geaccepteerd. Gedurende OT, wordt alleen  kudde-gedrag gewaardeerd, geen individualiteit. Mijn onverwoestbare bereidheid is door anderen op de proef gesteld en keer op keer uitgebuit, maar ondanks mijn trauma, ben ik in mijn TV gekomen.

 

BT vereist de bereidheid, om absoluut eerlijk te zijn naar jezelf. Dit komt tot stand, wanneer je helemaal alleen met jezelf praat en luistert naar de klank van je eigen stem. Je kunt er niet omheen, dat je met je stem iets doet, om vriendelijk, zeker, sterk, rustig, intelligent, geinteresseerd, objectief, betrouwbaar, rationeel, open of leuk te klinken. Als je lang genoeg met jezelf praat – over allerlei zaken, die voor jou van belang zijn – dan hou je op, om je stem op deze onnatuurlijk wijze te gebruiken, want dan pas hoor je, hoe je klinkt, als je spreekt met je eigen stem.  

 

Het is dus geen kwestie van meerdere, mindere, innnerlijke, rationele, morele, politieke of amusante bereidheid, want je bent bereid of niet. Als je met jezelf spreekt en naar jezelf luistert, dan kom je er, of je het nou wil toegeven of niet, onherroepelijk achter, dat je niet bereid bent om BT te hebben, omdat je bent geconditioneerd om OT te hebben. Het enige wat erop zit, is om toe te geven, wat je niet wilt toegeven en dat je dus vanuit gewoonte OT bent blijven houden, maar dat toegeven, stopt je OT en dan ervaar je een moment, waarin je BT hebt. Je weet wanneer dit gebeurd, want je klinkt anders.

 

Je bereidheid, om BT te hebben, wordt gekenmerkt door de juiste toon van je stem, die je dus niet kunt produceren, als je je nog bedreigd, verward, kwaad of droevig voelt. Al die negatieve emoties hebben helemaal niets met BT te maken. Men zegt wel, dat men positieve emoties wil hebben, maar dit wordt alleen maar gezegd, omdat men zich negatief voelt. Ook zegt men of iets leuk is of niet, maar men doet dit alleen maar, omdat het eigenlijk niet leuk is. In OT is er altijd dit belabberde, half-slachtige gedoe.

 

Ik vind het belachelijk, dat sprekers, nadat ze zijn uitgesproken, het publiek herhaaldelijk bedanken voor hun zogenaamde bereidheid, om naar hen te luisteren. Men doet, in OT, alsof het luisteren naar een spreker, een belonging is voor het zeggen wat de luisteraar wil horen. Als je met jezelf praat, dan kom je erachter, dat er naar alles geluisterd kan en moet worden en dat jou bereidheid om te luisteren dus niet afhangt, van of je het wil horen of niet.

 

In BT kan alles weer door-stromen, omdat we de bereidheid hebben gehad, om echt naar onszelf te luisteren en om te ervaren, dat wat wij aan onszelf zeggen waar is. Het is zo, dat wij ons – onbewust – bijna uitsluitend en alleen met OT bezighouden, omdat wij, zogenaamd, die bereidheid, om met onszelf te praten en om naar onszelf te luisteren, niet kunnen opbrengen. Maar, als wij vanwege onze zogenaamde psychische problemen, in de therapie gaan, dan doen de psychologen of therapeuten met hun stem, alsof zij ons onvoorwaardelijk accepteren,  omdat wij dat zogenaamd zelf niet kunnen.     

 

Ontmoeting,

 

In de ontmoeting met mijzelf, met mijn eigen taal, ben ik alles wat ik beleef en heb beleefd, opnieuw gaan ervaren. Het is zoiets moois. Er wordt overal gedaan alsof we het toch allemaal wel goed doen, met de zogenaamde communicatie, maar niemand heeft aandacht voor de ontmoeting met zichzelf, in  Belichaamde Taal (BT). Voor zover er ruimte zou zijn voor verandering, laat staan voor verbetering, is het altijd de ander – nooit wijzelf – die moet veranderen of die hoognodig moet ophouden met hun onhebbelijke gedrag.

 

In mijn beleving hebben mensen die zogezegd aan zichzelf werken, het hardste oordeel over anderen. Eigenlijk geven ze geen ene zak om anderen, want het gaat altijd alleen maar om hun heilige, betere, maar arrogante gedrag en nooit om een gezonde, aangename manier van doen. Wanneer men het heeft over de problemen in de wereld en wat er aan gedaan zou kunnen of moeten worden, dan is men onwillekeurig bezig met groeps-gedrag, dat iedere vorm van individualiteit buiten beschouwing laat.

 

Vanwege mijn ontmoeting met mijzelf, heb ik niet de behoefte om deel te nemen aan Ontlichaamde Taal (OT), waar nagenoeg iedereen zich mee bezig houdt, omdat het voor mij duidelijk is, dat de enige oplossing voor wat wij – als individu – als probleem ervaren, ligt in het praten met onszelf, het luisteren naar onszelf, het schrijven naar onszelf en het lezen en uitvoeren van wat wij hebben geschreven over onszelf. Niemand kan BT voor mij doen en daarom heb ik er vrede mee, om het voor mijzelf te doen.

 

Zolang ik, met mijn taal, bezig was met anderen, begaf ik mij, zonder er erg in te hebben, net als iedereen, in OT. Mijn vermogen echter, om, in de ontmoeting met mijzelf, mijn BT helemaal voor mezelf te nemen en te houden, toonde mij mijn Taal Verlichting (TV). Zelfs al was dit het geval, toch was ik nog lange tijd, tevergeefs, bezig om mijn BT met anderen te delen en om het zogezegd aan anderen te leren, maar daaraan is een eind aan gekomen, nu mijn BT – de taal die ruimte creert – eindelijk mijn manier is geworden, om elke dag mijn TV te vieren.

 

Mijn TV is iets heel nuchters en heel gewoons, maar anderen, die nog in de ban zijn van hun OT, zijn vanuit die conditionering geneigd, om het als iets spiritueels te beschouwen. Ik ben er dus achter gekomen, wat men als religieus beschrijft altijd gaat over ons onvermogen om, in onze eigen taal, de ontmoeting met onszelf aan te gaan. Al beelden wij onszelf dit in, wij praten nooit met God of een hogere macht. Ook al beelden wij onszelf ook dit in, wij praten ook nooit met anderen, die, zogezegd, de plaats innemen van die hogere macht. Gedurende BT praten wij met onszelf, omdat dat de enige basis is, waarop wij echt met anderen kunnen praten.

 

In BT, praten wij dus niet met anderen, alsof wij met onszelf praten, maar wij praten met anderen op precies dezelfde wijze, zoals wij met onszelf praten. Er is een reden, waarom dit nog niet heeft kunnen gebeuren, omdat iedereen –  vanwege de moderne conditionering met wetenschap, technologie en de onvermijdelijke afname van het geloof in een hogere macht – het praten met anderen, eveneens vanuit conditionering, belangrijker blijft vinden, dan  praten met onszelf. Deze onontkoombare gewoonte kan alleen worden doorbroken, als wij met onszelf gaan praten en vaker naar onszelf gaan schrijven, zodat wij, luisterend naar onszelf, onszelf-lezend & instruerend, onze taal – BT – gaan toe-eigenen.

 

Ik ben er ineens aan herinnerd, hoe moeilijk het voor mij was, om een brief te schrijven, naar mijn ouders, toen ik, voor het eerst, liftend, Nederland, in het midden van een koude, sneeuw-rijke winter, had verlaten en via Luxembourg, Frankrijk, Italie, Joegoslavie, Griekenland, naar Israel was gereisd. Elke keer als ik een paragraaf had geschreven, was ik  ontevreden over het resultaat. De meeste brieven  werden nooit verstuurd en weer verscheurd, omdat ik niet onder woorden wist te brengen, de enorme veranderingen, die ik doormaakte. Ik was, keer op keer, overweldigd, diep ontroerd, sprakeloos onder de indruk van wat ik allemaal ervaarde, in al die nieuwe omgevingen en omstandigheden, waaraan ik mij, soms met groot gevaar, had blootgesteld.

 

In de vele prachtige ontmoetingen met onbekende mensen, die zomaar ineens hun leven, hun cultuur en rijkdom met mij wilden delen, was natuurlijk ook een ontmoeting met mijzelf. Omdat ik hen toch elke keer weer verliet en verder reisde, begon ik los te komen uit mijn eigen conditionering, die had geleid tot de reis, waarin ik mij bevond. En, ook al ging ik nog jaren verder met reizen, mij spirituele zoektocht naar mijn zogenaamde roots, was eigenlijk na die allereerste reis, waarin ik door Maastricht, Rome, Athene en Jeruzalem had gelopen, al voorbij. Ik wist dat het voorgoed gedaan was met mijn spiritualiteit.

 

Ik groeide op als de oudste zoon in een Katholiek gezin en dat hield voor mij in, dat ik, ondanks ook de goeie kanten die het had, jarenlang met allerlei schuldgevoelens zou blijven slepen. Ik wilde het eigenlijk niet geloven, dat wat ik ervaarde waar was en zocht dus nog jaren verder, terwijl ik eigenlijk al wist, dat mijn eigen ervaringen belangrijker waren dan het spirituele, psychologische, filosofische, artistieke, vrijbuiters, ontdekkingsreizigers, sociale, wetenschappelijke, politieke, jasje, die ik het gaf.  

 

Toen ik op een-en-twintig jarige leeftijd – het kan ook twee-en-twintig of drie-en-twintig zijn geweest – mijn BT ontdektte, was het werkelijk te mooi om waar te zijn. Ook al had ik inmiddels al jaren achter de rug, waarin ik aan den lijve had ondervonden, dat ik mijzelf had verrijkt, door mij tegoed te doen aan allerlei andere culturen, klimaten, mensen en omstandigheden, mijn vermogen, om dit alles te erkennen en om hiervan in mijn taal getuige te zijn, lijkt nu pas tot mij door te dringen. Ik heb dit alles echt gedaan en daarom kan ik nu, terwijl ik alweer meer dan vier-en-twintig jaar in Amerika woon, met mijn BT, in het Nederlands, schrijven over mijn TV.

 

Het is echt waar dat ik verlicht ben. Ik kon het nog niet toegeven of geloven, zolang ik het nog niet had gezegd, gehoord, geschreven of gelezen in de taal waarin ik opgroeide. Mijn TV is niet iets spiritueels, maar iets intellectueels en emotioneels, omdat het rationele aspect van mijn BT al mijn emoties erkent. Ik ben met mijn BT getuige van een schoonheid, natuurlijkheid en liefde, die mij volledig verzadigd. Ik ben zo gelukkig en tevreden, ook al is niets zoals ik mij dat ooit had voorgesteld. Mijn BT gaat niet over mijn verwachtingen, maar over wat mogelijk is en daarom is het zo, dat ik met mijn BT van mijn TV kan genieten. Het weekend staat weer voor de deur en ik kijk ernaar uit, om dan weer wat meer tijd te hebben, om nog meer feest te vieren met mijn taal. In de ontmoeting met mijzelf, laat ik mijn BT vanzelf weer los, omdat ik alles heb gezegd en geschreven, maar ook heb gehoord en gelezen, wat ik wilde zeggen en schrijven en wat ik wilde horen en lezen.                  

 

Chance,  

 

Would you give me a chance, to say something funny? Yes, it is up to you. Can you handle it, that things aren’t as bad, as you believe them to be? I can make you laugh. To me, it is no problem, but for you, real laughter never gets a chance. Yes, I like my own words. Certain words, I love so much, that I use them very often. I really don’t mind using them all the time, as it always makes me laugh. You can only have authentic laughter with your own language.

 

Will you laugh at your own words? No man was ever wise by chance. Look, you can keep blaming me, someone else, and, ultimately, yourself, for not being funny, but learning from your lack of laughter, that is, learning from your problems and confusion,  requires exploration, about why you prefer misery to be your life? Do you dare to laugh, about your answers, which weren’t true? When have you failed enough, so that, finally, you give laughter a chance?

 

These are all important questions, because certain requirements must be fulfilled before laughter can happen. For instance, you can’t miss the punchline. If you miss the punchline, you’re missing the whole joke and it isn’t any fun, if someone else explains it to you, why it was funny. Besides, you’re disturbing someone’s laughter, if you bother them and ask them: what did he say? That takes all the fun away.

 

You’ve had your chance to laugh, but you’ve missed it, over and over again. Apparently, you are just too lazy, to learn, to avoid, the dreadful circumstances, in which there cannot be any laughter. Obviously, you need to get out of these ghastly situations, but you don’t want to move. Is someone funny, when he or she lifts, carries and moves your heavy, awful,  horrible language, while you keep hanging on to it?

 

If you want to experience laughter, there are rules to be followed. If you don’t want to follow the rules, fine, but you’ll find your bed as you made it. Most likely, you’ve already decided I’m not funny, but you haven’t even given me the chance to explain myself. I know something about laughter, you don’t know. I  engage in Embodied Language (EL), that is why I can laugh all the way to the bank. And, I don’t wait for those, who are stuck in Disembodied Language (DL).  

 

You increase the probability of your laughter, if you seize your chance to speak your piece. However, it makes absolutely no sense, to continue with your DL. To laugh, you must stop your DL, it’s so simple. My chances of making you laugh are increased, if I laugh about myself, but what is the use of that, if you keep refusing to do that? I laugh about myself, not because I believe I’m funny, but because I have EL, therefore, I enjoy what I’m saying. My Language Enlightenment (LE) makes me funny as hell.  

 

I don’t believe myself to be funny, but I am funny and those, who believe themselves to be funny, don’t know, they have DL, as they want to be understood. I don’t want to be understood, since I understand myself. I want you to understand yourself, as this will give you the chance to laugh. People who want to be understood, are demanding. That is not a laughing matter. When a speaker dominates, intimidates, distracts and manipulates the listener and overwhelms him or her, with verbal diarrhea, we are dealing with the real reason, why peace never gets a chance and why human beings everywhere are in constant conflict with each other.

 

Yes, you must drop down your guard, to be able to laugh. I am not responsible, to make that happen. I just continue with my EL and my humor is not for you, if you hang on to your DL. Whatever you find funny, to me is disgusting and stupid. I don’t stand a chance with your thick wall, which is your defense and your fear to be here. I don’t cater to your DL, as I know, your inability to laugh cannot be overcome with more DL. I am vehemently against your phony laughter, as it signifies something is wrong with you.

 

You may start to feel sick and tired, while reading or hearing my words, but only someone’s EL gives you a chance to snap out of your DL. This isn’t humor as you know it. It would be funny, if you would agree with me. You know what I’m talking about. The fact, that you can’t laugh together with me about my EL, makes you feel something, you have been trying to avoid at all cost: you are wrong. Yes, I am right and you can’t stand it, although you’ve done everything in your ability to deny what I say, still, you feel I am right, because I am funny. My humor is upsetting, because you’re the one who is addicted to drama.

 

May be, while reading my texts, you will be taking a chance, to admit, for once, you were wrong, not to laugh? After reading this, you’ll be more aware that genuine laughter doesn’t come about by chance or dumb luck. With your unintelligent, dull, forceful, automatic DL, you never had a chance to pick up on this fact. Moreover, you’ve ruined your chance to have fun, because you’ve never paid attention to how you sound while you speak. Hearing yourself speak, gives you a chance to change your own life.   

 

Tremendous,

 

Nobody has written or spoken about this, but I am speaking and writing about it. Being a nobody, is of tremendous significance and those who know about it and can have Embodied Language (EL), have no problem with it, because it is the expression of our Language Enlightenment (LE). Everything that has been said and written about enlightenment before, was wrong, as it didn’t and couldn’t result in EL. So, while others consider us as unimportant, we view ourselves as very important, as only we address our LE with our EL. You, who read this, don’t know you engage in Disembodied Language (DL), as your   language makes you imagine you are somebody.  

  

I insist, it is empirically true, there is no me inside of me, who writes or says this. This whole business of fancying yourself being a somebody, of making up your mind – with your thoughts – is a result of your involvement in DL. There is no inner being, deeper self or eternal soul – who knows – but, there surely is your DL, which makes you believe in nonsense.

 

Hardly anyone wants to read this or hear this, but I read it, while I write it and I hear it, while I say it. The tremendous possibilities of EL are known to me, but you are, unknowingly, stuck with the limitations of your DL. Of course, you too have some sense, EL must exist and is necessary, but you are literally too full of yourself, to be able have it. Due to your DL, it never dawned on you, that moving beyond your conditioning or – as they like to say in scientific or academic circles – not being biased, requires you to be and talk like a nobody. Only those, who have EL, are able to leave their conditioning with DL behind.

  

In spite of all my problems, I have discovered how to continue my EL. Whether you believe me or not, the challenge of this discovery is still waiting for you, it doesn’t go away. I know, you postpone it and probably never get to it. This is why your life is such a tremendous mess. You can’t fool a nobody, as it is very clear to me, that you never do as you say. This difference between saying and doing, is because, for you, saying isn’t doing and the denial of your nature. Your LE, your happiness, your success, your health or your truth, cannot be expressed with your DL. As I feel very proud to be without any tribulations, my emptiness effortlessly expresses, every day, my LE.

 

Continuing with EL, means, I act on what I say and that is why I write so extensively about my EL and reap the fruits of making the right choices. I have felt so hesitant to write or say this, but my shame is gone, as it is really true: I only experience positive consequences of my actions. Why does anyone want to be or claim to be somebody so badly? I know why I wanted it, although claiming it, never worked for me: it is because we are ashamed of who we are.

 

My life wasn’t always this blissful. For a long time, I didn’t know what I wanted in my life. I was afraid, to miss out on something of tremendous importance, but I didn’t know what it was. Only just yesterday, I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for my next failure. I failed, as I expected myself to fail, but now I succeed and witness millions of small things, which couldn’t happen, as long as I was still engaging in DL. I write this, because it is true and I like to read it. I know, that you, who reads this, have never been able to continue with your EL. Although, at some point, you might have kind of recognized it, you never trusted your natural way of dealing with your language, to carry you through your struggles.

 

You have never spoken, alone with yourself, in order to be able to hear your own voice. This is a big deal: the speaker, who him or herself is the listener, hears him or herself speak and recognizes his or her happy   sound. This tremendous event transforms you and what you say to yourself, with a voice of wellbeing, is your truth, your LE, which, from then on, will always be with you. And, this initiation into EL and LE, changes you from somebody into nobody. This is how you were born and this is how you will die. As a nobody, you experience and hear your eternity.

 

Coming home to oneself, always goes hand in hand with a verbal expression, which is utterly satisfying. EL truly is our own language, as there is no concern about what others might say about it. Others will say, about their own EL, it is equally nourishing and enlightening and that will be the new reality, we are creating with our authentic language. What hasn’t happened is happening with EL. When it does, we feel so blessed, as we are speaking power and love to our own truth, in stead of bullshit truth to the fake power of someone, who believes to be someone.

 

EL is a tremendous breakthrough. We embark on a new era of human behavior, in which it is possible to behave positively, effectively and consistently. For such a long time, we have suffered the consequences of undesirable behaviors, which are now understood, neutralized and dissolved, as we really have better things to do. EL makes us aware about what we are capable of, which is totally different from what we wanted to be, because we couldn’t be ourselves. It is such a joke, that being ourselves, is being a nobody.

 

When we get to do, what we are actually capable of,  we discard what we tried to be, as what we tried to be, was always a reaction, to not being able to be who we are, that is, to being a nobody. It is simple, yet – because we didn’t allow ourselves to have EL, to follow where it would lead us and to comprehend, how different this would be, from our usual DL – we are always in confusion, about who we are and what we want our language to be. With EL, however, we are perfectly satisfied being a nobody, as it allows us to do what we want to do and to live a peaceful life.   

 

In our house, we want things placed in a certain way. We want our table near the window, our TV in the corner, a bed against the wall, a couch in the middle. We like it to be clean, so we vacuum or dust things off, once in a while. However, when it comes to how we are dealing with our language, we never decide where we place anything. And, yes, we never do any cleaning. We do different things, in different places, in our house. There is a place, that is better than any other place, where we can speak with ourselves and hear our own reasoning. We have our own questions and our own answers, because we have our own EL.

 

The reason, nobody has ever written or spoken about EL –  in the way anyone would, if they knew, EL is the expression of our LE and of being a nobody – is because we are all afraid of death and the unknown. While people go out of their way, to prove to others, what a dare-devils they are, how important they are, how very special, skillful, knowledgeable, spiritual or kind they are, we refuse to engage in EL, as it signifies the end of our verbal shenanigans. There can be no EL, without first having stopped our DL. Supposedly, some people are wiser than others, but this was never the issue. The issue was, that they had their own language. I feel such a tremendous joy, to have found my own language. Reading my texts or listening to me, you can’t avoid the conclusion, that you don’t have your own language. Of course, you too have your own language, but you haven’t gotten to it yet. By admitting that, you will get to your own language and stop wasting time with what others have said or written. You have your own EL and by saying it, by hearing it, by writing it and by reading it, you will come into your own LE with your EL.