Exactly,

 

I know exactly what I want to do and I have no doubt about my abilities. I will tell you about it later, but first, I want to say something, about what I hear and see other people do every day. I am not exactly best friends with most people, as I don’t want to live my life superficially, like most people usually do. Simply stated, I don’t do what people tell me to do.   

 

If I want to do something, I know, I can do it, but if I don’t want to do it, I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it and I don’t do it. Due to unconscious Disembodied Language (DL), however, most people do things, they don’t want. What they do, is not a conscious act, so, they experience resistance, struggle, fear and anxiety, while they do what they do. Actually, they do not want to do, what they do, but they feel obligated to do, what they don’t want to do.

 

Most people push themselves, force themselves to do better and, somehow, keep the lie going – which, of course, they were told by others – that they are improving their lives, but they never pay attention to what they really want, as that would require two things: 1) they must recognize and stop their DL and 2) they must calmly speak out loud with themselves and listen to themselves, to understand and act on their own Embodied Language (EL), with which they can finally be truthful and clear to themselves about what they want and about what they don’t want.  

 

What exactly do people do, whose DL almost never stops and whose EL only happens very briefly and accidentally? They can never be total in anything, because they do what they do, out of fear of being punished. While they may be able to mask this fear with ambition, passion, morals or their belief in some higher power, their lives are one big struggle. They try harder, but they don’t do what they want to do. They fight, argue, complain and demand, as they are eternally dissatisfied, restless or frustrated.

 

If you knew, what you wanted to do, there wouldn’t be any struggle. You would just do it – whatever it took – because you knew exactly what you wanted.  I always succeed in doing what I want. Moreover, I do it, because I want to. Unlike you, I’ve discovered with my EL, that I can do what I want to do, and, therefore, I don’t need to do, what I don’t want to do. Of course, I too was trying to do what I didn’t want to do – as I was, just like everyone else, also conditioned by DL – and, consequently, I was always troubled by my own actions. I failed, because I was trying to do as I was told. I have never learned anything from the so-called feedback, I received for my behavior. I now know exactly why I have failed: With our DL, we always give each other negative feedback. Regardless of our good intentions, we have humiliated, punished and abused each other as well as ourselves for not doing as we were told. I became successful, once I did what I wanted to do.

 

Nobody ever told me, to say or write down, exactly what I want to do or how I want to be, but with my EL, I do this, joyfully – and without any effort – each day. Yet, my so-called will, to do what I want to do, is not what makes me do what I want to do. It is also not my motivation, my consciousness, my belief, my  confidence or my understanding, but my EL, which makes me do what I do. I never urge myself or tell myself, what I have to do, but am happy, to be able to say to myself, exactly, what I can and want to do.

 

I don’t need to tell myself, to try harder, not give up,  believe in myself or want, what I, supposedly, need to do, as I only simply say, what I want and I do it. I always do what I want. I always can do what I want and there is no fear, stress or tension at all, as with EL, it comes natural to me, because I know, exactly, who I am. However, I don’t do what I do, because I have self-knowledge. My ability to know myself, is to talk with myself and to allow myself, to do what I can do and want to do. I am not like others, trying to do what I don’t want. Although I have, like you, with DL, done all that, I don’t do that anymore.

 

Of course, I can talk with myself, in any way I want to and am capable of. I am incapable of speaking or writing in Chinese, so I don’t want to speak or write in Chinese. I am, however, capable of speaking or writing in English or Dutch, so I can and want to speak and write in these languages. If there would be a change of circumstance, perhaps, I could learn another language, but I don’t see any such change occurring. To the contrary, with my EL, I can focus exactly on what I am capable of and that is enough.

 

I say what I want to say and don’t worry about what I don’t want to say. There is never a need for me to say, what I don’t want to say or to do what I don’t want to do. Indeed, it is exactly my EL, which made this clear to me, as my conditioning with DL, made me do and want things, I didn’t like and couldn’t do. Interestingly, in my last job, as a delivery driver, I was hired, on the condition, that I would only do what I was comfortable with. I really liked what I did and for a while, everything went well. This never before occurred. I was exactly doing what I liked to do, and I felt very productive. Ironically, my nasty, anxious, hateful boss – since other people left their job and three times in a row, a newly rehired and retrained person, left the job again – pushed me, to do things, I didn’t feel comfortable doing and I felt I couldn’t do and, therefore, I didn’t want to do them. She wanted – and expected – me, to take the impatient customers’ orders, deal with the money they paid and work behind the counter, to operate the computer, the whole day, with all these codes, numbers, programs and passwords, but it was clear, I couldn’t do it. When I reminded her, that she hired me on the condition, I would only do what I was comfortable with, she denied she ever said that, but I insisted, she had first told my wife, who then had told me. So, the job came to an end, because she was infuriated, I stuck to what she had promised. In this physically active job, I did much more than I believed I would, and I enjoyed being busy the whole day, but once my boss wanted to replace me, I knew my time was up. It was a good job, while it lasted.

 

My former boss kept forcefully insisting, I should get out of my comfort-zone. She justified herself, by saying, repeatedly, that she and everyone else in the company, had to constantly – whether they liked it or not – go out of their comfort-zone. With DL, we try to go out of our so-called comfort-zone, but with EL, we so-to-speak stay in it. Yet, with DL, we don’t really know what makes us feel comfortable. There is, of course, no such a thing as a comfort-zone, as we can either be ourselves or not, but with DL, this never becomes clear. It was impossible to talk about this. She kept nagging me and basically treating me  negatively, because of who I am. I recently turned sixty-five and I feel more comfortable about being me than ever before, but she wouldn’t let me be.

 

I am sure, I’ll find another physically-active, simple, enjoyable, retirement-job, I like to do and want to do. This time, it is not someone else, who invites me, to only do what I feel comfortable doing, but it is me, who decides, if the job is right for me. I did a test for mail-man, the other day, but found out, this stress-job was clearly not for me. I like a physical, uncomplicated job, with no computer-stuff or paper-work. This writing and my speaking guide me to this new job. Meanwhile, I enjoy the free time I now have, to do exactly what I want and can do.