Selfishness,

 

Once we have experienced and, thus, have come to know, the difference between our Disembodied Language (DL) – which is our usual way of talking – and Embodied Language (EL), we view selfishness, which is considered a bad thing in DL, as a good thing, from our newly acquired involvement in EL. Unless we consider talking with ourselves, to be more important, than talking with others – so that we can finally say and understand, for ourselves, what DL and EL mean to us, individually – we will never have our own clarity, about DL and EL, and, inadvertently, remain trapped by what DL or EL is, according to how others define and perceive it.

 

We never truly care for anything or anyone, as we merely always want something, since our needs are never met with our DL. Our superficial relationships are based on what we can get from each other. As long as we ourselves remain needy, unfulfilled, and, therefore, always demanding, we can’t really love anyone, as our selfishness is of greater importance. The other person – whether it is our child, brother, sister, mother, father, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or neighbor – doesn’t even exist for us, since they are only a means to fulfill our needs.

 

Unless we adopt EL, as our new way of dealing with  language, we cannot really have a loving, devoted, caring, affectionate relationship. Since we have not addressed, let alone, understood, the big difference between our DL and EL, we all, unknowingly, mainly engage DL. Selfishness is an unconscious behavior that inevitably results from our conditioning history. We were taught to have DL, not EL, because no one, before me, has ever addressed the great difference between DL and EL in the way I do. We all know, the opposite of selfishness is altruism, and that altruism is better than our selfishness, but our DL prevents us from being altruistic. It is interesting to see, how this plays out politically, in Western societies today.

 

Currently, there is – I insist, because we have never really dealt with the difference between our DL and our EL – in many Western, individualized societies, a socialistic demonization going on of hard-fought individualism. Those who prefer a collectivistic political perspective, view individualism as outright evil and demand social justice, instead of sinful selfishness. However, it was precisely life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, that created wealth, but never the always coercive, violent collectivists.

 

Characterizing selfishness as wicked, is the ultimate form of gaslighting, as it condemns a selfish person in his or her ability, to be an individual and take care of him or herself. Moreover, gaslighting – which is, of course, an aspect of DL – is an insidious practice of psychological manipulation, in which someone is tricked in questioning their own sanity, powers of reason or memory. This guilt-tripping is the basis for group behavior and forces its members to sacrifice their individualism on the altar of collectivism. Also, whatever power collectivists acquire, they always steal from those who actually produce something.

 

When we engage in EL, we begin to view selfishness or self-centeredness in an entirely different manner, as our language fits with our individual behavior and makes us successful, happy and satisfied. We are full of energy with EL, but with DL, we feel negative and drained. Furthermore, in EL we don’t focus on some non-existent, imaginary self, as we know, there is no such entity, but we bring attention to how we use our language, by listening to ourselves as we speak.

 

The notion that man, presumably, is always trying to seek pleasure and trying to avoid pain, is based on our restless DL, in which we never feel fulfilled. We acquire a new conceptualization of ourselves, when we engage in EL, because our relentless desire for gratification subsides and our anxious avoidance of pain with amusement and distraction, is replaced by our wisdom of who we are. Our ongoing EL reveals our true nature, our Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

People with DL, consider the fact, that I rather enjoy my own EL – by talking with myself, than to be with others, who cannot engage in EL – as selfishness, but to me, it is based on the simple realization, that I wouldn’t be able to continue with my EL, if I would keep busy with DL, whether it is my own or the DL of others. Anyone who recognizes the difference between DL and EL, wants to naturally continue with EL. Once that transformative distinction has been made, a process of exploration is set into motion, in which DL subsides and our EL increases. What was – in DL – always wrongly interpreted and judged as selfishness, was, in reality, our helpless, hopeless and meaningless attempts at EL. The fact is, although we have unconsciously tried to have EL, we have failed again and again and given up on it.

 

In spite of the condemnation and rejection, I so often experienced, I succeeded in continuing my EL. When I, due to my ongoing EL, started to become increasingly happier, I often felt bad, as I knew very well, other people aren’t having a clue about their EL. For many years, I tried my best to teach others, but, in retrospect, my teachings failed, because I felt somehow it would be selfishness, to keep it to myself. Surely, it was my conditioning history with DL, which was still playing up on me. I am so happy, to be no longer in psychology, the dreadful field, I studied and worked in for so many years. I no longer feel guilty about having my EL, as it is a fact of my life, I feel very proud of. My opinion about your forceful DL, is that you, as an immature speaker, always demand, like needy child, the listener’s attention. In other words, I turn the table on your dumb selfishness.