Family,

 

My family refuses to have Embodied Language (EL) with me. Although they can, like everyone else, read my blog and know exactly what I am about, they still expect me to have Disembodied Language (DL) with them and be okay with that. No, I am not okay with that. Actually, I should say, I am no longer okay with that. It has been difficult for me, but, after having felt rejected by my family – my whole life – I finally came to the conclusion, that I had to reject them.

 

I couldn’t believe, I had to do this. I couldn’t believe, I could and would do this. I wanted to be accepted so badly, I kept hoping, they would, somehow, one day, acknowledge and understand me. However, this never happened and I no longer believe, it is ever going to happen. I don’t hear from anyone in my family anymore, because I gave them the clear message: either you are willing explore EL with me, or I don’t want to have anything to do with you. It is a matter of self-preservation. I had already suffered, for so long. My EL instructed me: enough is enough.   

 

As far as I know, my father and my mother are still alive and I have three sisters and two brothers, but none of them are sincere enough, to get in touch with me and talk with me, about why I had to do as I have done. Denial and pretention was and is their way of dealing with the abuse, that went on in our family, but I overcame my trauma with my EL. You could say, I became fascinated with communication, because I discovered, I could talk with myself and tell myself everything, I couldn’t say to them. Surely, after that, after I discovered EL, I wanted to talk with others, in the same way, I was talking with myself.  

 

I am not close with anyone in my family. Although my family has been a big disappointment to me, it is  because of this, I’ve learned about another way of dealing with language. Moreover, my EL – which is so incredibly different from the stressful, frustrated, anxious, depressing, fearful DL, I grew up with – is also the continuation of everything, that was good in my family. Yes, not everything was bad. Actually, there were many wonderful things, which made it all the more painful and confusing, that there was this betrayal of the sensitivity, beauty, joy, warmth and togetherness. I took everything very personal.

 

Perhaps, it was because I am the oldest son, I felt emotionally responsible, but in my family, I could never do anything right. There was a time, I deeply regretted, I didn’t create my own family, but today, I am so glad, that I didn’t. I am happily married and live a meaningful, peaceful life with my sweet wife Bonnie. I am very close with my Chinese in-laws and have greatly enjoyed my father-in-law, when he was still alive. He accepted me and we connected. I am so fortunate, to have met this wonderful man. As I write these words, I feel grateful for his influence.

 

While EL has led to many great developments, the recent results are the most satisfying to me, since I have started to speak and write without hesitation about my Language Enlightenment (LE). If they read this blog, my family members probably believe I am crazy, but I don’t care. I now have a different take on why no one of my family is willing to explore EL with me. They are afraid of their own EL, because it will also reveal their LE and this will change everything.

 

In November, I celebrate my sixty-fifth birthday. I’ve never been back to my family in the Netherlands, since I emigrated in 1999 and became a US citizen. I don’t remember much about them and I find this a very pleasant effect of getting older. Today, I wanted to write about my family, because I hope they read this. I write this, to please myself without them. Yes, that is what I do. I don’t care about them anymore, in the same way, that they don’t care about me.

 

Although I get along well with my wife’s family, no one there is interested in exploring EL either. In my view, family is an ancient concept, which represents the group-behavior, that has perpetuated DL, until this very day. Basically, no family allows its children to be themselves. Yes, every parent indoctrinates their children. I wonder, what would happen, if we would raise our children with EL and treat them like the enlightened beings they are? Of course, we  would be enlightened as well and we would know what we are talking about, as we have become the master over our own language. When we use our language consciously, everything will be different.

 

EL transcends the family, as it creates community. It does this because, we become individuals, due to our new way of dealing with language. People like to toss – community – around a lot, but, as long as we are not individuals, with EL, there can’t be any community. There is merely this phony assumption of togetherness, to which everyone, mechanically and unconsciously conforms. Moreover, we make it impossible to talk authentically as individuals, because, presumably, the group is more important. This has been going on forever. In the EL-community everyone is enlightened. To be part of that community you must leave behind your misery.