June 13, 2014

June 13, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

This writer wants to write today about the meaning of words and phrases. Much has been said about the meaning of language, but little has been said about how it is possible that words can sometimes be meaningful and other times totally meaningless. This writer refers to how words are used, rather than to what is being said. In other words, how do we actually behave while we speak? Words don’t behave in language, but we, as whole organisms, do.

This writer is capable of saying complicated things with simple words. The reason he is not very fond of difficult words, is because it leads to verbal and conceptual clutter. What this means is that the words that are used become more important than what is being talked about. Not only does it become more difficult to understand what someone is saying or writing, language gets in the way of what is being observed and often prevents us from being in touch with ourselves and each other. This situation is called Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB). It is called that way because wordy speakers just sound horrible. 

How does language get in the way of what is being observed? Are words things, like a blindfold, which we can put over our eyes, so that we don’t see? Words are not like that. We can imagine seeing things in the same way that we just imagined a blindfold which is preventing us from seeing. How do words accomplish this? Talking, in this case writing, about a blindfold is enough to make us see the blindfold. That is, writing can only make us see the blindfold if we have previously been introduced to a blindfold and are already familiar with it. 

A child, who is not yet familiar with a blindfold, would not be capable of imagining what it is, if it hadn’t learned that word. If we show the child a blindfold, he or she has no word for it, but we give him or her that word and then we praise the child if it says ‘blindfold’ when we show it a blindfold. So after we have reinforced the child for saying ‘blindfold’ in the presence of a blindfold, the child is capable of saying blindfold on its own. Children like to play hide and seek and in this process they discover there are all kinds of things to hide behind: a tree, a bush, a wall, a car. This example is hopefully making clear to the reader that the meaning of the word is always a behavior. 

What this writer calls Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) is teaching the reader a new language which he or she didn’t know. There was no way for the reader to be able to identify NVB, the communication in which people continue to have problems, but can neither address nor solve them. The reader didn’t know about SVB, the term which designates the communication which addresses and solves problems. The reader didn’t know that what we call a problem is not a thing, but a behavior. 

We usually don’t think of our use of words as behavior, but if one investigates the circumstances in which one finds oneself using particular words, one begins to get a sense that one’s language, just like walking or hiding behind a tree, is indeed a verbal behavior which gets even more subtle as one looks at the use of letters that make up one’s words. Refinement of one’s language is needed if one wants to be able to express and understand subtleties of one's other behavior. Nuances can’t be part of one’s repertoire as long as one’s verbal behavior is expressed in a harsh and forceful manner. NVB must be stopped before SVB can reveal itself. 

When we feel good, we are not trying to feel good, we feel good. Those who are trying to feel good, are not feeling good, that is why they are trying to feel good. When we feel safe, we are not trying to feel safe. Those who are trying to feel safe don’t feel safe. When we understand, we are not trying to understand. Those who are trying to understand don’t understand. They can’t understand as long as they are trying to understand. When we understand, we are not trying to understand. To understand, we must stop trying to understand.  The effort involved in trying to understand is a waste of time. Either we understand or we don’t understand. We must learn to acknowledge when we don’t understand.