June 5, 2014

June 5, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

This writer returned two days earlier than expected from a camping trip. His boss is an abusive, manic and narcissistic person, who yesterday night was so hostile towards him and to his colleagues that he decided not to eat and go to bed early. This morning, she was again demanding and angry towards this writer, who was so turned off by her scolding that he didn’t want to eat breakfast. Although he had slept well and is familiar with her rude antics, since he had just given his two week notice, because he is about to leave his job for a better-paid one, this writer had enough of the abuse he had taken for the two years he had worked for this completely unaccountable, incompetent and fanatically religious person. 

His nonverbal response to remove himself from the situation twice, helped him to  decide he should leave. Upon seeing his boss coming towards him, while hollering about things that, according to her, weren’t right, he blurted out “I am not feeling well.” Although she had heard it, she didn’t pay attention to what he said and went on with her tirade. This writer then interrupted her and said “I am going home today, because I am not feeling well.” This finally got her attention and made her ask many interrogating questions, each of which were answered with one or two words. This writer retreated into his tent where he stayed for two hours. His female colleague, who was scheduled to go home today, was going to give him a ride, but his boss arranged instead for a male colleague to take this writer home. This male colleague, who is like a slave to his boss, came to this writer (who was in his tent) at around 11:00am and said “You are going to come with me, I am going to take you home, because E. H. is only driving back at 15:00pm.” This writer instantly answered “No thank you, I'd rather drive back later then with E.H.” Few minutes later, the boss came to this writer’s tent and said in a distrustful, snappy-sounding voice “I don’t understand; if you are not feeling well shouldn’t you want to go home as soon as possible?” This writer then answered “I am not comfortable riding back with R.L.” At which she immediately barked back “Why?” This writer calmly answered “I am not going to go into that now” at which she fell silent for a moment and then shot back “Then I am going to take you home, right now!” This writer calmly said “Okay” and began to pack his belongings. The boss didn’t want this writer to ride back with his female colleague. She kept asking questions, but this writer pretended to have a headache and feel sleepy. She hardly said anything the entire way and the few moments she spoke, she even attempted to sound nice. 

This whole episode is very interesting in that this author didn’t discuss with his boss any of the issues that were troubling him. To the contrary, he had already decided that that would be an utterly useless thing to do. Not eating dinner and breakfast were powerful nonverbal messages which hit home. There was nothing much to be faked about the fact that this author wasn’t feeling very well. Also, this author had gotten better at avoiding people’s stares. This was helping him to stay disconnected from them. At various moments, his boss would ask him stuff or started talking in her hyper-verbal fashion about the clients, but this writer wouldn’t look and gave a one or two word answers. It was a relief to be taken home, to be excused, and to even have her believe that she had helped him. 

This author thinks of the years that he was trying to get better at being more honest with people. It looks like it was all in vain, but it has led to this current ability to convincingly lie and to avoid unnecessary complications. Many people can’t handle the truth because they don’t have the necessary repertoire to absorb the information that doesn’t confirm their beliefs. To know that nothing one says has any effect on them, makes one communicate nonverbally rather than verbally.