June 6, 2014

June 6, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

There are many situations in which one is expected or even forced to be and to stay verbal. With certain people a nonverbal connection is just impossible because they never developed any verbal way to refer to it. The only way which is acceptable to them is to disconnect from the nonverbal. Noxious Verbal Behavior is a function of a person’s escape from the nonverbal. This escape behavior usually also involves an approach behavior, what is commonly referred to as a lack of boundaries. The nonverbal is escaped from, but the verbal is approached. This automatic approach of the verbal sets the stage of superficiality. 

When people have not been taught that it is acceptable and necessary to refer verbally to the nonverbal, they are incapable of recognizing or acknowledging that their verbal behavior is in fact an expression of their nonverbal experience. Their lack of accurate language for their nonverbal experience determines their inability to express their nonverbal experience verbally. In spite of their verbal failure and inadequacy, such people continue to express their nonverbal experience nonverbally, but do so while believing that they are very verbal. A person like this would say something like: "Didn't I tell you this already a hundred times? When are your ever going to listen?" 

There are musicians who read notes and those who don’t. Those who don't, who are improvising may make it seem as if they are working from some kind of plan, but the reality is, they don’t work from any kind of plan, because they simply imitate each other. To equate their music with that of someone who can play Mozart from a music sheet is like comparing an illiterate with someone who can read and write. Moreover, their music does not evoke any verbal behavior, because it keeps people trapped in a nonverbal experience for which there is no appropriate language, although they may claim to have found that language. Unless we look at what our language is a function of, we fail to recognize and acknowledge the extent to which our verbal behavior is nonverbal and our nonverbal behavior is verbal.