June 24, 2014

June 24, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

This writer has overcome his fear of repetition and of not being original. If the reader doesn’t find it interesting that he has to say the same things a couple of times, the reader doesn’t understand the need for this repetition without which Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB) can’t be learned. This writer is teaching something new to the reader that can’t be learned in one stroke. It takes many readings to get a better understanding of SVB, and, moreover, the reader needs to test what is read while speaking. If this doesn’t happen, SVB will remain, like so many other things in life, something one has only read about. It is not the intention of this writer to please the reader into a sense of accomplishment when in fact the work hasn’t even gotten started. SVB begins to make sense only when we talk.  

To speed up the process, this text is best read out loud by the reader. After all, the premise of SVB is that the speaker listens to him or herself while he or she speaks. How is the reader going to listen to him or herself, if he or she is not making any sound? The reader must say these words out loud to be able to hear him or herself. Once the reader does that, the writer’s repetitions make more sense, because it is the sound of the reader, not the words of this writer, which reinforce this reading. If the reader doesn’t find it reinforcing to hear him or herself, this means that he or she is producing Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB).

This text puts SVB to the test in the most simple manner. If the reader is by him or herself there should be no problem in reading it out loud. The reader has to do it and the writer can’t do it for the reader.  If the sound which is produced by the reader is making is making him or her feel bad, negative, worried, coerced,  drained, bored, anxious, frustrated, distrustful, humiliated, pushed around, put down, intimidated, distracted, pushed, pulled, choked, punched, numb, punished, violated, annoyed or dissociated, then he or she produces NVB. 

When the reader hears something negative in his or her own voice, then he or she is producing NVB. However, when the reader hears something positive in his or her voice and begins to feel that he or she sounds nice, good, pleasant, calm, focused, meditative, conscious, thoughtful, relaxed, at ease, safe, sensible, alive, energetic, enthusiastic, motivated, alert, in control, full of humor and confidence, capable, decisive, deserving, powerful, goal-oriented, wise, present, rational,  developed, knowledgeable, capable, inspirational, supportive, realistic, great, satisfied, accomplished, then the reader produces Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB). 

In NVB we express all our negative emotions, but in SVB we express only our positive emotions. In NVB there are negative emotions to be expressed, but in SVB there are only positive emotions to be expressed. We are not making anything up and we let things be what they are, because we listen to ourselves while we speak. Only when we listen to ourselves while we speak, can we let things be what they are. We couldn’t let things be what they are, because we didn’t listen to ourselves while we spoke. To let things be what they are, we have to produce and observe the expression of matters as they are. We only do so in SVB. 

The reader shouldn’t have any problem understanding this. There is no need to make any effort to understand this. This writing is not understood as long as the reader is making any effort to understand it. The understanding that follows when no effort is made is different from so-called understanding, which requires effort. 

This writer calls it ‘so-called understanding’, because it should not be considered understanding as long as it requires effort. The reader cannot simultaneously sound positive and negative and have positive as well as negative emotions. 

Our ‘so-called communication’, in which we keep having mixed emotions, should be called NVB. The communication in which we are clear about our own and each other’s feelings, is called SVB. No effort is involved in such communication in which we understand each other, but effort is always involved in NVB, in which we neither understand ourselves nor each other. 

Effortless reading is just as important as effortless listening. Effortless writing is just as important as effortless speaking. When we are straining ourselves and each other it is because we are having NVB and we are not having SVB. Although SVB or NVB are present at any given moment, it is always either one or the other that is present. Although it may change very quickly, at any given moment, we always only have SVB or NVB. The reason we have not been able to notice this is because we are not listening to ourselves while we speak. 

When we strain ourselves to understand what we read, we also engage in NVB. When we strain ourselves, to write something, to please someone, we also engage in NVB. When we read something, which was produced under such conditions, we may not notice it, but we are conditioned, by such writing, to accept the strained circumstances in which it was written. Thus, much, if not most of our writing has made our lives more and more tense. Moreover, most writing takes us away from our spoken communication. This writing brings us back to a category of spoken communication which is different from the category we are used to and hear and read mostly about. By reminding the reader of the ubiquity of NVB, this writing brings us back to SVB. NVB is the stepping stone to reach SVB. 

Once we identify SVB and NVB, it becomes really simple, so simple that we can’t even believe it is that simple. We are used to calling things complex when we don’t understand how it works, because there are many unknown independent variables having an effect on the dependent variable, which is our behavior. 

With spoken communication as our dependent variable, it seems hard to figure out the reasons why we talk the way we do. However, when one knows about the SVB/NVB distinction, we deal with only two independent variables, two sounds, and we can call them Voice 2 and Voice 1. The sound of NVB is Voice 1, because unless we identify this sound, we will not be able to produce SVB with Voice 2.