Believable Humor,

 

Humor may be believable, but still not funny. In my opinion, humor is not a matter of believing. Surely, humor was never what anyone believed it to be. You believed something was funny, but it wasn’t. You believed something wasn’t funny, yet it was. It is a discovery, humor wasn’t what you believed it to be and turned out to be something you never imagined would be funny. You laugh at dictators, but can’t laugh at your own dictatorship of how you use your language.   

 

No, I refuse to be believable. In the light of the aforementioned, it is such an idiotic thing, some people are still trying to be funny. They might as well do their best, not to be funny at all, chances are, then, they’ll come up with something original, that surprises everyone. Anyone who tries to be funny, always does that, to please others, never themselves. I never even try to be funny to myself, yet, I find myself very funny, because I say new things, which I enjoy saying. I also don’t say things to others, to be funny, but I only say funny things to myself, because you can’t handle my tedious humor and are offended by it, if I told you in person.

 

I rather play it safe with my humor and say it to myself and, in this way, the fun stays with me. I only share my fun with those, who, like me, have fun with themselves, because they believe in themselves. No one needs to be convinced and that is why it is believable humor. Only few people do this, as most people are into having fun with each other, but not with themselves. If my humor doesn’t seem believable, I have done what I am good at, which is: being unbelievable.  

 

It is sad, most people don’t know how to have fun with themselves, about themselves, by themselves. They also don’t know how to have fun with others, who don’t know how to have fun by themselves either. This neediness for others takes all the fun out of humor. It doesn’t amuse me, but compared to people, who don’t believe in their own sense of humor, I feel very satisfied with my humor, which is mostly not for others and mainly for myself. I like to follow a thread and see where it is going. I sense, I am onto something, but don’t know what it is, until I have said or written it. Sometimes, it seems, I have said or written it already, but, surprisingly, there appears to be more to it. At other times, out of nothing, something hilarious appears.  

 

I strongly dislike believable humor, but greatly enjoy humor, which scatters our beliefs. I have a very low bar for what I find funny about myself, but towards others, I can’t help being critical, because they are so difficult about themselves. I can’t enjoy anyone, who doesn’t enjoy him or herself. Not laughing about someone, who is giving him or herself a hard time, is a matter of fairness. I’ve never been able to do it and that is why I don’t enjoy the vast majority of people.

 

Humor is precious. Early on, I understood the importance and the meaning of being able to laugh about myself and, although it often got me in trouble, at age 65, I have much more fun, than anyone else my age. I find it funny, I don’t remember much about my childhood. I guess, I did what I had to do, to keep moving forward. I find no pleasure, in anything I have already said or written. I rather say or write something new.

 

Although I find myself brilliantly funny at times, I can’t be bothered with any of my old stuff. It is a matter of paying attention. Inattentiveness sucks, as it always results in the repetition of more of the same. I never get bored, because I always find something new to say or to write. I voluntary say or write, I enjoy my language, but, you, involuntarily, yes, you say or write, out of habit, out of your conditioning, something I find boring, dull, uninteresting and meaningless. If you cannot enjoy your own words, there will never be any laughter. I carry on my speaking or my writing, until I have had enough, until I have said or written, what I wanted to say or write. I know when I am done, because then, I smile, I giggle, I laugh, sometimes out loud, but also in silence, peace and satisfaction. I am so happy to be where I am and who I am. Unlike you, my past doesn’t determine my future. I am new each moment and my language shows this with exuberant energy and strength. My humor, which you can’t stand, carries on into my world, which I create for myself. Lucky you, if you can hear it, read it, feel it, believe it and understand it.