December 14, 2013

December 14, 2013

Dear Reader,

Due to the discovery of Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB), the author’s life has changed beyond recognition. The direction of the change has become more and more stable. Confrontation with unwanted stimuli occurs less and less and exposure to stimuli which stabilize and secure his life has increased. Because the learning of effective behavior and the decrease of ineffective behavior is gradual and cumulative, the change occurs almost unnoticed. There are no big changes. The biggest change seems to be when things momentarily go wrong. Then negative stimuli, usually quite suddenly, cause the author to behave in ways, which are reactive. Such behaviors are met with social disqualification. When they occur, the author feels embarrassed it happened so quickly, that he was unable to do anything to prevent them from occurring. Usually this happens under work-related circumstances in which the author is incapable of moving away from stimuli and due to his job must remain in their proximity. He is learning to better handle this. 

Certain stimuli are predictably having an upsetting effect on this author. Such stimuli are best avoided. However, in his work with mentally ill clients this is often impossible. A manic person may be demanding a response, which then has a startle effect. There is no way of escaping this except by looking back afterwards and by thinking about what could have been done differently. The strong feelings that were expressed by this author are always a reaction to the demanding behavior of such clients. Bad and unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking and eating junk-food, are reinforced, so that for them the thought of not being able to behave like that is anxiety provoking. 

Under certain circumstances demanding stimuli are more likely to elicit an upsetting response. When this author was driving the van to transport seven mentally ill clients, some of whom, because they were so excited, were talking very loudly, he was in a stressful situation. The transport took place in the evening, to an event in another town, an hour’s drive away. The laid-back reggae music, which the author appreciated, was suddenly changed by a client to loud and negative noise. And, because the reception kept fading, a coworker, in an attempt to please the clients, kept trying to change the station. She also gave clients turns to listen to their favorite music, if they could find it. Then all of a sudden, one of the clients said “can we smoke?” This author immediately said “No” thinking that the client wanted to lit a cigarette inside the van. The client responded in an intense “Why not?” Thinking that this client was not listening to him and was going to smoke anyway, this author repeated “No, you can’t smoke.” Then the client said in a loud, complaining voice “We are allowed to smoke.” This author reacted “No! You are not going to smoke in the van. I will stop the car if you do.” Only then the client said “I did not ask about smoking in the van, but about having a smoke break before we go to the concert.” People were laughing at this author, who felt bad that he had misjudged the situation and spoken so authoritatively. Another stressor, which could have been avoided, was that the author could have let his coworker drive on the way back. Because she let him know she was not used to driving a big van, this author decided to drive. He put himself in the stressful position to be the driver to the concert and going back home again. Fact was, however, this author didn’t trust his coworker to let her do the driving and so he took responsibility for this important job.Before the trip started, the author had overheard some alarming news about a clients of whom he is life coach. She had been seen crossing the street diagonally, ignoring all traffic, which had to come to a stop. This author thought that when this client endangers herself like that, it is an accident waiting to happen. Also, before the trip started, this author briefly spoke with one of his colleagues, who in his opinion, was very stressed and negative. He was supposed to give him instructions for the trip, but he only handed him a piece of paper. All these events and stimuli had set the stage for this writer's mistake.