January 13, 2014

January 13, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

When there is communication, there exists an attraction between the speaker and the listener, which makes the speaker want to speak and which makes the listener want to listen. This magnetism determines that verbal and nonverbal expressions are aligned and that verbal expressions are never disconnected from or inconsiderate of nonverbal expressions. This author calls this Sound Verbal Behavior (SVB), because the voice of the speaker makes it easy to listen to what is being said. 

In SVB the listener gets energy by listening to the speaker. This is not so in Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) in which listeners experience an energy loss. Because we don’t speak about the sound of the speaker, we think it has something to do with what is being said, but once we focus on how someone sounds it becomes clear that the sound of NVB drains us.

Alignment of verbal and nonverbal expressions also determines that what is said makes more sense and is meaningful. This effect on the listener occurs because of how we speak, but it is also because what we say in SVB is arranged differently. The connection between the speaker and the listener, which in SVB is affirmed and thus remains unbroken, allows the attention of both the speaker and the listener to be focused on what is being said. No attention is diverted in SVB by nonverbal aspects of speech, which in NVB distract from the verbal message. A  related matter is that this attention is effortlessly produced by both the listener and the speaker. In SVB, listeners are not straining to listen, nor are speakers straining to speak. This voluntary collaboration between speakers and listeners creates and maintains a positive communication environment in which participants will feel refreshed and full of energy.