December 7, 2013

December 7, 2013

Dear Reader, 

There is a reason this author presents Sounds Verbal Behavior (SVB), the way of communicating in which we are completely at peace with ourselves and with each other, as the solution to all our problems. It must be said that all our problems are caused by how we communicate. Only when we look at how we communicate do we begin to recognize why we have so many problems. SVB, which makes us pay attention to the sound of our own voice while we speak, isn’t merely another way of communicating. How can it be that in SVB all our problems are dissolved? 

Once we experience SVB, we realize and agree, unanimously, that Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB), in which we continuously speak with voices that push, pull, drain, stab, grab, choke, drag and strangle, is not spoken communication, but coercion, distraction, domination, alienation and dissociation. In SVB we truly enjoy being in contact with each other and with ourselves, but in NVB we cannot be in contact with each other, because we are not in contact with ourselves. SVB demonstrates to us that unless we are in contact with ourselves first, we can’t be in contact with each other. In NVB, there is the assumption that we are in contact with ourselves and each other and this false belief is protected and defended by us at all cost. 

We will not allow anyone to point out to us that we are not really communicating. The person who tries to do this will be thrown out of the communication. In SVB, however, we realize that this is a blessing in disguise, because we were being thrown out of NVB. We come to terms with the fact that there was no other way for us to know SVB than by being thrown out of NVB. Many people have had this experience, which, instead of being the beginning of something valuable, became their down fall, because they were not supported. SVB provides the support that we need to be able to cope with the consequences of our refusal to accept NVB. 

We only accept, respect, validate and honor the reality of our aloneness in SVB. Unless our communication allows and supports us to live our own lives, it will do the exact opposite. In NVB we can’t allow others to be themselves. We conform to NVB because it entertains us and takes our attention away from ourselves. Since we are so deprived of SVB, we are vulnerable to NVB, which makes us forget our loneliness. NVB with its extrovert emphasis on approach behavior is very intoxicating.