January 21, 2014

January 21, 2014

Written by Maximus Peperkamp, M.S. Verbal Behaviorist

Dear Reader, 

 

Today’s letter type “Broadway” was chosen because the talking we are used to is cheap and superficial. Although it can be said to have some amusement value, its dissociating nature prevents change. Noxious Verbal Behavior (NVB) only widens the gap between saying and doing, but Sound Verbal Behavior closes it. 

The lack of correspondence between our beliefs and our actions is shaped and maintained by the way in which we talk. The remote link between what we say and do is very deliberate: our vagueness provides protection against accountability. Also, our rules and our laws, which presumably can’t and shouldn’t be changed, increase our dismal lack of action. Meanwhile, we talk NVB, not knowing that our way of communicating prevents us from addressing, let alone solve our problems. The actions that we take are escape behaviors, responses to aversive stimulation. 

SVB is possible and we all know it. Change is possible, but it can’t happen unless we stop getting carried away by our make- belief conversation. NVB is scripted acting, it is not real. Since it is a phantasy, the only action needed is one that sustains that phantasy. Obviously, if the only goal of our interaction is to maintain dreams, there is inevitably at some point going to be a harsh awakening. After the performance is over, we are in the cold on the street and nothing fancy is surrounding us. 

This is where reality sets in. We want to escape from this with another performance, by others or by ourselves and we want to keep believing that the show will never end, but SVB, authentic interaction, is the end of the show.  Now we can do what we have to do, what need to do. We didn’t do it, because we couldn’t. Our saying prevented our doing. Our saying undermined our doing. Our saying was disconnected from our doing. We didn’t know at all what we were doing. We didn’t know what we were saying. Nobody was listening and we were acting on automatic pilot.