Already,

 

It doesn’t matter, you have already read or heard what I have written or said. It will help you, to hear or read me repeatedly talk about the same thing, as that will make clear to you, what I say is true. I am now particularly referring to what I say about humor, as it is the gateway, through which you can reach your Nirvana. This word comes from Sanskrit and it literally means, blow out, as in an oil-lamp.

 

If my consciousness was a flame – I am just making this up – it got blown out by my Embodied Language (EL) and, against all odds, I attained my version of Nirvana, which I call Language Enlightenment (LE). When I first noticed my enlightenment, around age 20, I couldn’t believe, that it had already happened, because I was still having so many problems and conflicts. What I didn’t know back then was, I didn’t have the proper way to deal with my language, to express my experience. I was a complete laughing stock, as my Disembodied Language (DL) invalidated everything I said. Paradoxically, my EL let me know, again and again, I already was capable of it, even though, I habitually engaged in DL again and again.

 

Neither Judeo-Christian tradition, nor any Indian religion (Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism or Sikhism) mention humor as a sure path to self-realization. If there was any mention at all about laughter, it was so boring, that nobody wanted to know about it. It is a point of discussion, if cancel culture or politics is the reason, we have lost our sense of humor, but, in my opinion, our religions have always destroyed it. While many people are no longer religious, they still experience the hang-over from this indoctrination.

 

Enlightenment can only become a laughing-topic, if you are reassured, that your laughter isn’t going to take away your awareness about yourself. You know very well, you got lost, you fell of the wagon or you got carried away by what you believed to be humor or entertainment, but, you also have already felt and experienced, that real humor makes you find yourself, rather than lose yourself. Since real humor was never repeatedly experienced and confirmed, you’ve always struggled with that you felt in your gut, real humor is always in favor of you – while phony humor is your enemy – even if you didn’t understand how it worked. Of course, it always worked fine, without your dissociative approval, as it only needed your conscious agreement. However,  unconsciously, you demanded more of the same, lame, distracting, but unambiguous humor, which leaves you alone, so you can sleep and dream about having imaginary fun. The inescapable, medicinal, irritating humor, I have verbalized, blows you out of the water – forget about this blowing-out-the-flame nonsense – and knocks you off your socks.

 

The mysterious, gentle power of laughter manifests itself, as words still have meaning, even though we are laughing. Fake-humor, you are used to, which makes language a moot point, is dead, as far as I am concerned. You cannot avoid admitting, what I say matters, because you matter. My words matter because you are reading or hearing them. What you hear or read or understand, isn’t me, but you, so the joke is entirely on you. You should be grateful to me, as nobody else does what I do. They try to do it, but they fail, as they don’t know, how to have fun with themselves. What you read, hear or understand about my humor, is: I let you be alone with yourself.

 

In the name of having fun – supposedly, together with others – we keep avoiding our aloneness. It has never been said, but being alone is the essence of laughter and genuine joy. If I would keep busy trying to make you laugh – as other comedians obviously do – I would interfere with your aloneness and stop you from having fun. You need to be left alone, to have your own expression, which, in one aspect, is very different from me, but the same, in another. It is totally different, in that your laughter is always triggered by specific words and combinations of words, which belong to your own unique verbal repertoire, but it is the same, in that we both laugh about ourselves, and, therefore, with each other.

 

I believe, the issue of laughing with ourselves is always down-played and brushed under the carpet, because it dismantles the fake-humor and separates it from real humor. It is absolutely worth sacrificing a few phony laughs for some real laughter. Once you get going, you can’t stop, as you notice, you get rid of your own shit-show and drama. Unless it is funny to you, it isn’t funny, but how are you going to be able to determine if it is funny, if you don’t notice,  others have always told you what was, presumably, funny? I don’t do that. It is good, you don’t find me funny, because I know and love my own humor. I like to write like this, to amuse myself. It may seem, as if I do a one-man show, for an audience of one, but there are not two of me, there is no audience.  

 

Of course, you don’t need to decide what is funny for you, as you know it already. Surely, you need to spend enough time with yourself, to let yourself know, you know it already and you can have a laugh with yourself. Although you live an isolated, lonely, disconnected life, you fear being alone, as it has never occurred to you, that you can – without any practice – laugh about everything, instead of worrying or feeling upset. You already know this, but this writing reassures you, that it is really true. Likewise, you already knew about the difference between DL and EL, but – like me, in the past – you didn’t have the words to describe it. Indeed, if you listen to the sound of your voice, while you speak, you find out, that you already have the words, to express your happiness, your humor and your LE.