Confrontation,

 

Embodied Language (EL) involves a confrontation with reality, but Disembodied Language (DL) makes us deny the reality of our lives. Once we find out about EL, it becomes possible to talk about our conditioning history with DL with EL. Before this discovery, we were only able to talk with DL about DL, but we were unconscious about it. Also, of course, in those few moments, that we were able to have some EL, we were unconscious. As long as we didn’t know about EL, we were in the dark about our language.

 

When we, with EL, become conscious of ourselves and our relationships, we realize all previous talk about being conscious was utter nonsense without our EL. Moreover, only then it is obvious to us, that we were always pretending to engage in EL, while, in fact, we were engaging in DL, all the time. There simply was no other way, as we didn’t know about our EL yet. To untangle ourselves from our DL, is at the same time simple – as it merely requires us to speak with and listen to ourselves – but it is also very complicated – as we were lying to ourselves for so long, due to our history of conditioning with DL.

 

Discovering EL and continuing with it, is a constant confrontation and adventure, as we are renewed by our language. Our EL is tremendously refreshing and energizing, as it liberates us from the troubles which were created and maintained by our DL. It is true, that we couldn’t talk with our DL about our DL, but is also true, we couldn’t talk with DL about EL. The biggest confrontation about knowing the difference between DL and EL, is that we admit, what is what.

 

Someone like me – who truly knows about the great  difference between DL and EL – is able to say, at any time, in any conversation, with anyone, whether he or she, someone else or they together, engage in DL or in EL. While it is comfortable to have EL, it is very unpleasant to consciously have DL. Nevertheless, anyone who knows about the gigantic difference between DL and EL, is always able to accurately observe and say: now we are having DL or now we are having EL. Someone who doesn’t know about the enormous difference between DL and EL, can’t make this observation and, therefore, is bound to get deeper caught up with DL, which, although nobody wants to admit it, always escalates. Thus, with DL, we always seek the confrontation, but when push comes to shove, we deflect, as we never go into how we are dealing with our own language.

 

With our EL, we can finally accept and admit what is our DL, but once we have done that, once we know what is what, this doesn’t mean, we are done with our conditioning history with DL. The challenge of addressing our history with DL with EL continues, as we aren’t only addressing our own DL, but also the DL of others and, actually, of all of mankind. Every human being struggles, due to DL and, to face the reality of our own DL, is to acknowledge what each human being has endured throughout history.

 

In a real love relationship, a couple, inevitably, but, unconsciously, goes through the confrontation, to figure out, what is DL and what is EL. Without EL, there can’t be any intimacy. Although people may take therapy classes, in how to talk with each other or how to express their emotions, psychology hasn’t acknowledged, let alone embraced, the difference between DL and EL as the utmost important issue. I have studied psychology, I have worked in the field and have taught it for many years, but to my own knowledge, the issue of EL is too much of a hot potato, as it confronts us with the devastation of DL.

 

The difference between DL and EL can be described as using our language out of fear or out of freedom. There has to be an extended experimental period, in which we are able verify – alone, by talking out loud with ourselves – when we engage in DL and EL. Also, we want to have EL with others, but this is when we are confronted with the astonishing, horrible fact, that nobody is interested in EL. Each time we try to talk about having EL with others, we are rejected and the only way to continue with EL, is to only talk about it with those, who, like us, experiment with it.