Misery,

 

When you are able to have Embodied Language (EL), the whole issue of letting go seems ridiculous. Why does anyone, supposedly, need to let go? Oh, I get it. It is because everyone, almost continuously, engages in Disembodied Language (DL), in which no one can be, who he or she really is. We hang on to our misery in DL, but, oddly enough, we never hang to our happiness. Presumably, there’s only a need to let go of negative, but not of positive emotions. Of course, there is barely enough happiness to hang on to anyway, but there is a lot of misery to hang on to.

 

Why do people say, misery loves company? What a stupid question. Everyone knows that someone who is unhappy likes to make other people unhappy too. This is what everybody does with their mechanical way of dealing with language. Why is DL happening everywhere and not EL? I tell you why and can tell you why, because I  have EL, and, basically, nobody wants my company. I can put people out of their misery with my EL, but they strongly believe, they don’t want EL, so they hang on to their DL. You are destined to make a life of misery with your DL. I or anyone who knows about EL doesn’t want to be in  your company, as we rather remain alone. However, we always find each other and enjoy each other.

 

The Germans have a word for what seems to be the experience of joy, pleasure or satisfaction, that comes from learning of or witnessing the misery, failures or humiliation of another. Of course, it isn’t real true happiness, but since happiness is hard to come by people hang on to their Schaden-Freude, which means Harm-Joy. Interestingly, the Dutch – who are the neighbors of the Germans – have a similar often used word, Leed-Vermaak, which means Misery-Entertainment. However, a person, who him or herself is miserable, is far less likely to smile at the stupidity of others, than someone who is happy. Although the person with EL, laughs more about him or herself than about others, he or she mainly laughs about others, as he or she has EL, while others, unknowingly, hang on to DL.

 

With EL, there’s nothing to let go or to hold back and one simply laughs at how others try to let go or hold back. I don’t see any reason, why I should let go of my experience of being rejected and avoided, because I am rejected and avoided. My misery of not having anyone to share my EL with, is as real as my EL itself. I can’t pretend I’m not affected, I am. At times, I still feel pissed, resentful, misunderstood or sad, but these episodes last shorter and shorter and happen less and less often. I mostly laugh at my own misery. A while ago, I was talking out loud with myself and I said: you don’t feel miserable anymore. It seemed like a long time ago that I cried. I never felt there was anything wrong with my sadness and I have always cried a lot. Crying has always been a great relief to me. I burst out laughing, as I said to myself, that I was sad, that I was no longer sad. After I said that, I suddenly started crying and crying. I still felt sad, so few people can have EL with me, but I am so very grateful to be able to talk every week, on skype, with my dear Dutch friend AnnaMieke.    

 

You can’t help but live in misery and conflict your whole life, because of how you deal with your language. Your repetitive, automatic DL signifies, that you have never paid any attention to how you sound while you speak. If you would do that, you would hear yourself and you would experience what you actually experience and you begin to deal with your language in a different way. All of a sudden, you are able to produce a different sound, which changes everything, as you say what is really going on with you, in the moment that you speak. 

 

You neither let go nor do you hang on to anything in EL, because you use your own language, to express to yourself what is in your attention. This is not the same as what is called being mindful, because you are being verbal to yourself about your experience. In other words, whatever asks your attention, in EL, can finally get your attention, because you describe it, in your own way, to yourself. You know, that in EL you can talk about many things, which you cannot talk about with others, because they don’t know EL.

 

Of course, you are going to talk with your EL about your DL, but this has nothing to do with letting go of your DL, but with becoming knowledgeable about your conditioning history with DL. It is always about fear, fighting, fleeing, escaping and dissociating. The more you know about DL with EL, the more you will be able to have EL, even when nobody recognizes it.

 

Misery is always exploited, but happiness cannot be exploited. Certainly, miserable people are constantly befooled into believing that someone or something will make them happy. Someone with EL, however, is already happy, and, therefore, isn’t deluded by or sold on any too-good-to-be-true deal. He or she can’t be manipulated, as he or she is the real deal. This triumphant certainty can only be acquired with EL. In DL, we brag and pretend, but we don’t listen to ourselves, because if we did, we would have to admit, we are not as happy as we claim to be. We want to be happy, because misery is our reality. 

 

Someone with DL, is per definition miserable. You may try to put up a happy face for others, but when nobody looks, you look miserable and ugly. These two always go together and the more miserable you are, the uglier you look. Certainly, with DL you also sound miserable. However, you pretend to sound upbeat, motivated, passionate, friendly or patient,  but someone like me, who knows the difference, can hear the difference. I always hear your misery in the sound of your voice, even when you are angry, frustrated, stressed, anxious, panicked or violent.

 

One day, in my early twenties, it was short after I had discovered my Language Enlightenment (LE) with my EL, I had put an advertisement in the local paper. It read: whatever it is, we can talk about it. I wanted people to know, what I had come to know. I heard the bell ring, opened the door and looked up at a giant of man, who was at least seven feet tall. I immediately felt alarmed, but not by his seize, but by his energy. I let him into my house, but he didn’t want to be seated. While we were walking down the hall, he already began to ask me, how that talking was supposed work and I answered him, that I will help him, as best as I can, to listen to himself, so he could make a wise decision. He looked bewildered and I was afraid he was going to get angry with me. I told him, that I was listening to myself and hearing myself and he could do the same thing and feel the benefit, which effortlessly reveals itself. He asked,  but what am I supposed to say? I told him: whatever you want to say. He then blurted out: I’m not going to do it! He was stunned and wanted to leave, but I asked him, what was it, you are not going to do? He then told me, he was very angry with someone and was about to go beat him up and perhaps even kill him, but he said, he was not going to do it. He stuck out his hand and shook my hand and squeezed it so tightly, it hurt, but he had, in one moment, changed. He thanked me profusely, walked himself out and I was totally baffled and relieved, that it all went well. I didn’t even have the chance to ask him for money.