This,

 

This writing is about my Embodied Language (EL), which always immediately, effortlessly and simply expresses my Language Enlightenment (LE). I have not arrived at this peaceful, enjoyable, interesting way of dealing with my language, because I am such a special person. In fact, I have worried about this a great deal, because I am usually not treated by anyone, as someone who is special. To the contrary, I feel mainly rejected, ignored and forgotten.

 

I am no longer puzzled about how this can be. Since I express my LE with my EL every day, in my writings, but also, whenever I talk out loud with myself EL – I still do this almost every day – I acknowledge, I am  special, because, except for my dear Dutch friend AnnaMieke, no one is doing this. I always felt, I am special, as I have secretively, guiltily – without doing anything for it and, paradoxically, in spite of all my problems, stress and worries – been very happy.

 

I have felt so confused, tormented and obsessed by  this, as I couldn’t figure out, with my Disembodied Language (DL), why a trouble-maker like me, was somehow always able to toss all his dramas and traumas aside and carry on again with his language of unconcerned innocence? It wasn’t until I stopped teaching Psychology, but also, most importantly, because I gave up preaching about my EL, that my  LE began to shine – for myself – more clearly.  

 

Everyone engages, unconsciously, every day, in DL and, thus, misses out on EL, which would inform them about their LE. I didn’t make this up, but this is the reality of how most people live their entire life. For me, every day is a discovery, a blessing, a gift and I feel so grateful, I am able to say and write this and live like this. I don’t believe in anything, other than my own language and I can no longer afford to be busy with the ugly and stupid language of others.

 

While I write this, it is midnight. I went to bed at seven and look forward to sleep some more after I am done. I just opened the window and my room is filled with cool air. A helicopter flies over and makes a lot of noise, but afterwards, it is really quiet and I hear a dog bark in the distance. Here I sit, with legs folded underneath me, in front of my laptop, calmly waiting for my EL to appear. This is my greatest joy.

 

I no longer feel I miss something. This completeness is so superb. I arrived at it, by giving my own words to it. I remember, there were times, I felt hesitant to express myself about the fullness of my emptiness. I have never felt empty – as my stillness always was and continues to be with my language – and I prefer this stillness over the so-called stillness, in which we misjudge the importance of our language. There is absolutely no need at all to go beyond our words.  

 

When we acknowledge our DL and can switch to EL, our voice changes. There are three reasons, why the sound of our voice changes. Firstly, in EL, we no longer fixate on what we say, as we pay attention to how we say it. Therefore, we experience the fluidity of our language, which wasn’t there before in DL. Secondly, we no longer struggle, as we don’t try to sound calm, peaceful, certain, interested, strong or knowledgeable. We simply express what we are capable of expressing, in the moment that we speak with ourselves and listen to ourselves. We liberate ourselves from moving away from that which is. In other words, in EL, there is no conflict between who we are and who we should be. We sound so good, when we are truly at peace with ourselves. Thirdly, our voice changes, because own EL returns all our energy to us. During DL, our energy is always getting drained, but during EL, we get energized. This is a very tangible, immediate and blissful experience.   

 

I used to call EL the language that creates space and feel so happy to be reminded of this. Surely, my EL has gone through many different phases. I want to conclude this writing, by going into this crucially important aspect of language, which is completely misunderstood. EL is the language of freedom, but this freedom can only be experienced by someone who is an individual. With DL we forget about our individuality, as our own language is, unknowingly, overtaken by predetermined beliefs. We should not call DL group-think, but group-language. Every time someone says, I think so and so, they say so and so. The freedom of language can only reveal itself, if we admit, there never was any language inside of us. I mean this literally: there are no words in our brains.