Crime,

 

Does it pay, not to laugh? Does your crime pay? You probably never even asked yourself this question, that’s why you don’t really laugh. If you did, you would laugh, because, of course, it doesn’t pay and your miserable lack of humor equals sheer stupidity.

 

I don’t like any of your so-called comedians. While, generally speaking, people seem to have lost their appetite for the superstitious belief in some higher power, they still needily flock to the newly invented  churches, where smartass dealers dispense humor, as if it was some kind of drug. These nasty hustlers don’t make me laugh, they disgust me. Only all the  idiots are laughing. You are laughing, but you aren’t having any fun. It is a bizarre phenomenon.  

 

Whenever I hear some comedian working his or her audience, I am appalled. My humor is very different. With me, you laugh, even when it isn’t funny, even when it isn’t meant to be funny. I mean it seriously: you laugh, because you don’t want to laugh about the truth, you have been avoiding your whole life.

 

Comedians, like politicians and priests, pretend to be truth-tellers. I am not interested in any of them and my humor is about why nothing is funny. Yes, you read that correctly. Something isn’t funny just because you have laughed about it. Your neurotic laughter indicates something is terribly wrong. You are clearly not well, that’s why, even if you happen to laugh, you keep having such awkward laughter.

 

Did you know, that high-rate criminal offenders commit crimes with little regard to the net yield? In spite of their grandiose claims, they don’t know how to maximize the benefits of their crime, because they are highly present-oriented and opportunistic. The same is true for all the funny people, who get in front of the crowd, because of their schmuck neediness. The audience is in on the crime. They believe, they can steal laughter and every job, supposedly, is their last job, but, they long to get caught, red-handed.  

 

Having more of the same fabricated laughter isn’t changing anything about your lack of real laughter. For real humor, you must stop laughing as usual. Don’t complain, that something important is stolen from you or taken away, because such possessive complaints show, you don’t realize the enormous gravity of the dismal situation that you are in.

 

Laughing for the wrong reason is and has always been the worst thing any human being can do. Actually, we stop being human, because of it and yet, we make it seem, as if humor makes us more human. This notion, that humor makes us more relaxed and, therefore, more human, is nonsense. What the hell does being more human mean? You either are human or not. Can a dog be more dog?

 

How is it even possible, you believe, you can have, you should have more fun? There’s only one reason. You are living in a falsehood about who you are. You  try to be happier, but the fact is, you are unhappy. You try to be a winner, but you are a loser. You act as if you’re strong, but you’re weak. If you would be  natural, you would be happy, strong and victorious, but you’re unnatural and that is why you try to be more like this or more like that. Your reality is, that you are a mess. My humor is, that I am not a mess.

 

In this writing, I’m referring to who I am, because I am into my own truth, which I find quite amusing. I don’t mind waking up at night and producing a few sentences like these, because I know for sure, when I’m done, I fall right back to sleep again. Unlike you, I don’t lose any sleep over all the problems in the world, because these problems aren’t mine, that’s why I can laugh at them. Yes, although there are many casualties of my humor, I leave them behind, because I dare laugh about the reality, as it truly is.  

 

There’s no escape for those who keep insisting, I’m not funny, as they are exposed by my humor, as the evil people, they really are. Please, pay attention, anyone who is against my humor, is a criminal, not a victim. Forget about this bullshit, I’m not allowed to blame the victim, as I’m holding you responsible for  all the violence, which happens because you refuse to laugh, whole-heartedly, authentically, honestly.  

 

I didn’t cause your lack of humor and if you laugh at my words, it will be because you finally get my joke. I know very well, you don’t get it, that’s why I bring you into my own court, where I am the judge. No lawyer is going to help you here to prove, you are innocent. Your sick humor has no value whatsoever and you are guilty as charged by me. However, your punishment is, that you can’t stop laughing about your own lies and it will continue, until you accept, you’ve created your own prison and torment.

 

I simply tell what is happening, but I didn’t cause it, you did. My insistence is based on your inability to address your own situation. To me, it is a piece of cake, but to you, it is a big problem. I say it as it is, but you keep beating around the bush. I know, I’m funny, but you decline to laugh and own up to it, because you are too uptight, too angry, too stupid, too frustrated and too confused. The evidence is in, these words straighten you out and justice is done.

 

As a fair judge, my decisions are binding. You can’t plead not guilty, because your laughter is giving you away. I can hear it is breaking through. At long last, your laughter proves, you are paying the time, because you did the crime. Indeed, false laughter is a consequence of your insidious actions. And, stop acting like you didn’t know, it was wrong, not to laugh. The earnings from your foolish crime of not laughing – and spending days, weeks, months and years, in the verbal prison of your own making – decrease, as phony laughter behind bars, which are words, prevents you from acknowledging, being a high-rate offender doesn’t have any consequences.