Rest,

 

I only have Embodied Language (EL), if my speaking or my writing, deepens my experience of rest. When I talk out loud with myself or write for myself – like I do on this blog – it is very apparent, this is the case. I can hear it, in the tone of my voice and I read it, in the words I have written. EL is always very satisfying.

 

My conditioning with Disembodied Language (DL), is different from everyone else, because I don’t deny it. Those, who don’t acknowledge and know the great difference between DL and EL, are ignorant about the fact, that they could also stop their DL and have EL. I am not. I neither care about my own DL nor about the DL of others. My EL lets all DL rest.

 

Although, initially, it felt like it – because I was used to the rush of my own DL – my EL doesn’t cause my rest, but it simply expresses my restfulness. In other words, only if I am calm, do I embody my language.  So, in the past, even while I was feeling peaceful, I couldn’t express it, as I didn’t have, like I do now, the language to express it. Stated differently, my DL never allowed me, to rest while I was speaking.

 

In DL, we never take a rest, as we are continuously hyped-up, stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry or confused. And, if we, seemingly, take a short break from our energy-draining DL, we habitually always do something – watch football, overeat, race cars, use drugs – to distract from our language. So, we never experience any rest in how we use language.

 

Of course, in spite of all the chaos and conflict, we experience every day, we still manage to have brief moments of rest, but these short-lived moments of relief, are unable to find their way into our way of talking, listening, writing and reading, because we, unconsciously, continue with our DL. And, even if we experience a little quiet time, by reading a book, this doesn’t translate in our own peaceful talking, listening or writing, about a serene use of language.

 

Our chronic lack of rest, during our common way of talking, sets the stage for unhealthy, compensatory behaviors, which facilitate an escape from our own negative feelings. Consequently, talking determines how we use language and in DL, we use language, to ignore our worn-out, unhappy experiences. It already starts early, while we learn to speak and it usually continues throughout our lives, until we die.

 

When someone dies, we say: may he or she rest in peace. Hilariously, it is the ultimate phrase of denial, to express a wish, which, presumably, is meant for the deceased, to be free from trouble and to have peace in death. However, death is the end of all our experiences and, therefore, it is only when someone dies, that we may suddenly experience a wake-up call about our own mortality. In effect, we don’t say our well-wishes for the deceased, but for ourselves.

 

In EL, we die, while we are still alive, to our previous way of using our language. Basically, we put our DL to rest. Moreover, we don’t die only once, because, unless we die, again and again, to our dreadful DL, each time it rears its ugly head, we will continue to create a restless life, that is full of conflict, violence and despair. And, each time we die, we are reborn in an experience of blissful rest, in which we speak and hear about our Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

With ongoing EL, we experience eternal rest and peace, because we have died to our conditioning history with DL. Finally, we can and we do express our rest, which, of course, is our wellbeing. Thus, our LE is expressed by our EL and nothing stops us from doing that, as we keep taking time, to talk out loud, alone, with ourselves, to listen to the sound our own voice, which expresses, who we really are.

 

Certainly, the phrase R.I.P. is only said to the living, to express condolences and sympathy, to the family and friends of the deceased. It is astonishing, that, as of yet, we are only capable of expressing our EL, when someone has died. Presumably, we comfort others, who experience the loss, with the illusion, that they may, at long last, rest in peace, especially if they have had many struggles in life. However, we all experience an unnatural existence, full of battle and effort with our DL. Perhaps, we only have a shot at acquiring our own EL, when we mourn the dead?

 

I am reminded of my dear father-in-law. At the time of his death, I was in the final stretch of my Ph.D. study in Psychology. I had completed all my course work and I was writing on my dissertation about loss (!), while accruing clinical hours as a therapist. My wife’s dad died after he was found to have brain cancer. By the time they discovered it, it had already metastasized. His beautiful death and the spreading of his ashes on the ocean, created a break from my arduous effort, to achieve that doctorate degree. It was a turning-point, because of which I suddenly realized, there was no rest anymore in my life. I was suffering so much and soon afterwards, I quit my graduate study. After I withdrew, we left the busy Bay Area again and returned back to Chico, where I became a psychology instructor for many years.

 

It is already a couple of years ago, I quit teaching psychology. Although I have, for all these years, known about my EL, I wasn’t experiencing the deep sense of rest, it has come to represent, at this point in my life. However, I am very sure, I don’t have an eternal soul, which doesn’t cease to exist after I die. Dying to our own DL, according to me, is much more important, than the death everyone creates such a  big fuzz about. We are all going to die, so why not try this possibility of EL and experience this rest and peace, while we come alive, while we speak?